It was that moment that she'd been dreading ever since the two had started dating. Why did she have to do this to him? She was going to break him in half and the fact remained that she had one last night with him before she left. Where was she going? She was heading to the big city. She wanted to make it big as a dancer and the only way to do it was get started when she was young. Her mother knew absolutely nothing, but in these kind of scenarios, who would tell their mom?
The thing that hurt her more than anything was that he could go. He was perfectly able to with the fact that he was graduating. Well, now that he'd graduated. She knew him, however. She knew that he wouldn't go with her. No matter how much she wanted him to. He had his job and he loved it. He had his band and he wouldn't leave his bandmates. That alone killed her. She'd fallen for him so hard that living without him would only ruin her and she couldn't deal with that.
She wanted to get out of there before she could admit to him how much she was in love with him. It's always funny how easily love comes into a person's life. It comes when you least expect it, but always right when you need it. The feeling of the heart that causes one to do nothing but miss that person on a consistant basis was enough to drive a person mad. Not in a bad way. No one should ever equate 'love' with 'bad.' Never. Love can always make everything better. Whether it be walking around town or going to school.
She stood outside of his door, her arms wrapped around herself. Her mom was passed out on the couch, as she usually was and she was free for the night. She bit her lip and knocked on the door. Her heart began to race and she didn't know what she was going to do. All she knew was that she couldn't spend this last night in this God forsaken place by herself. She needed to be with him. She needed to be held by him and spend every last moment with him that she could.
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He had known something was up from the kiss that she gave him at graduation on. She had been acting weird all day and he was praying that she wasn't going to break up with him. He was a jealous man and he knew it. However, with a girlfriend that was as beautiful as his was, how could he not be, you know?
This was supposed to be a night of celebration with his friends. Screw his friends. He wanted to find out what was wrong with his girl. He loved her more than anything and he was giving up on his friends who were all heading towards big things. He was going to stay at home and get his band going. There was nothing that was going to stop him from doing what he loved. Not one thing.
Hearing a knock on the door, he knew who it was. She was always quiet with her three brisk knocks. He made his way out towards the door, grabbing his pack of cigarettes and slipping them into his pocket before anyone could see. Then again, what right had he to look around for anyone. His mother and father were at counseling and his brother was passed out upstairs.
He could feel his heart racing. He knew something big was going to happen tonight and even though he didn't know what it was going to be, he knew it was going to be horrible. He placed his hand on the cold metal of the doorknob and turned it slowly, unlocking it with his free hand.
The sight of her standing there, looking scared out of her mind worried him. He furrowed his brows. "Hey, baby," he said, softly. He closed the door behind him and locked it before he pulled her to him. He wrapped his arms as tight around her waist as he could, his face burying in her shoulder.
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Why couldn't he have picked another pet name to call her? Or, you know, maybe her name? She always melted when he called her 'baby.' She sighed as he pulled her close. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, pulling him as close to her as she could. "Hey," she whispered, burying her face in his chest. One of her hands slipped up to rest on the back of his head, holding him to her.
This was going to be the toughest night of her life, but she needed to get it done. She needed to tell him before everything happened that would change her life. She couldn't let him change her. Even though, unbeknownst to her, he already had changed her in every way.
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Sensing the need for breath, Roger took a hold of her hand. "Come on, baby. Let's go smoke," he said, adjusting his leather jacket. She nodded. "Okay," she said, forcing a smile across her full lips. She wrapped her arms around herself. She wasn't necessarily cold, but God, she was scared.
He looked over at her and saw her arms and he took off his leather jacket, slipping it over her shoulders. She bit her lip, a real smile playing across her lips this time. She leaned over and kissed the corner of his lips, slipping her arms through the warm jacket. He returned her kiss and took a hold of her hand, interlacing their fingers.
The two walked until they got to the park, their place. They had a special spot where they always went. Just a spot on a hill that was covered in grass. Grass is a rare thing that you find in New York, you know? She sat down and he took a spot next to her. He pulled out his pack of cigarettes and she looked over at him, reaching her hand out. He took two out of the pack and put them between his lips, lighting the both of them. He passed hers over to her and smiled. "Here you go, beautiful," he said.
God, that stung. 'Beautiful.' He'd always called her that. Well, ever since the two had gotten together, that is. She didn't feel beautiful right now. She'd been crying for hours. Hours upon hours, actually. She was trying to think of the best way to tell him. She had to. This was going to be their last night together and it was breaking her heart with every passing moment.
She brought the cigarette to her lips, taking a deep drag before she returned it to it's spot between her index and middle fingers. She inhaled the smoke from her mouth to her lungs and smiled, contentedly. She exhaled the smoke, feeling the nicotine calming her.
He looked over at her, exhaling the smoke from his lungs, feeling them dying just a little bit more. Never knew that death could taste so good. He looked over at her before reaching his hand over. He tucked a stray hair behind her ear and smiled, slightly. The moonlight always shone in her hair and did wonders for her mocha colored skin. He leaned over and kissed her cheek. "What's on your mind, Meems?" he asked, getting comfortable.
What was on her mind? How dare he ask that? Oh wait, that's right, he didn't know. Of course he should be able to ask that. She took another deep drag of her cigarette, looking over at him. She bit her lip before she exhaled the smoke from her lungs. She took a deep breath of fresh air. "Baby, we need to talk," she said, quietly.
Five words broke the rocker's heart in two. Right then. She wasn't going to be with him anymore. This was it. Roger wasn't always one to have panic attacks but he could feel one coming on. His heart began to thud so hard in his chest that it hurt. "What's up?" he asked, taking another drag of his cigarette. Nope, that only made it hurt worse.
She sighed and looked down. "Roger, I've been planning tomorrow since before you and I ever got together. I want you to remember that as I tell you this," she said, quietly. She wasn't going to sugarcoat it and tell him how much this was scaring her. She knew that he didn't want to hear that. He just wanted the facts, like most men would in this situation.
She swallowed and looked at him. "Roger, tomorrow morning I'm not going to be here anymore," she said, quietly. "I'm moving away. I've dropped out of school and I'm leaving first thing in the morning," she said, quietly.
Couldn't she have at least said it slowly? Apparently not. She just blurted it out there and it took more than a few seconds for him to comprehend just exactly was going on. Once it hit him, he shook his head. "What?" he asked, needing her to say it one more time. Just one more time to throw his heart into a blender and turn it on.
She felt the tears that she'd tried so hard to swallow come up into her eyes. "Baby, I'm leaving first thing in the morning," she whispered. She wanted another drag of that cigarette but she didn't think she could do it. Scratch that, she knew she couldn't do it. She looked down at the burning paper wrapper of it and the burning tobacco. She flicked the ash off of it, revealing a much shorter cigarette.
When she looked down, the anger built up. "Look at me, Mimi," he said, reaching over and tilting her head up to look at him. "You're leaving me. Is that what you're saying? You've been fucking planning this and you didn't tell me?!" he yelled, removing his hand from her because he knew that he needed to hit something. She wouldn't be it.
Hearing him yell at her only caused the tears to pour down her cheeks. She nodded, swallowing the huge lump in her throat before her rows of teeth caught the skin of her full lower lip. "I'm so sorry," she whispered. "Baby, I don't want to hurt you-" she began.
"You don't want to hurt me?!" he yelled, standing up and looking down at her. "Then don't leave! Tell me this is some kind of sick joke and that you never meant it," he demanded. He needed to hear her say that she was staying here. He needed it more than he needed to breathe.
She pursed her lips, taking a deep breath. "Roger, I'm leaving in the morning," she said, quietly. She stood up and dropped her cigarette to the ground, putting it out. "I'm moving away and you have to know how hard this is on me," she whispered.
"If it's so fucking hard on you, it's because you waited for nine months to tell me, your boyfriend," he shot back at her, anger in his eyes. Anger and pain. He couldn't stay angry at her for long and felt it slipping away when he saw the pain.
She looked up at him. "I'm so sorry," she whispered, looking into his eyes, showing him how much she cared. "Baby, please don't stay mad at me," she begged. "I can't stand it when you're mad at me and the fact remains that this is our last night together," she whispered.
He bit his lip, pulling her to him. He held her as close to his body as he could, not caring anymore. Fuck anger. Fuck pain. This was going to be the last night that he'd be able to spend with her and he wanted to make the most of it. No matter how angry or hurt he was.
She held onto him tightly. This was going to be so hard. She kissed his shoulder, repeatedly as tears fell down her cheeks. She pretty much dug her fingers into his back, needing to be as close to him as she could.
After a few long moments, the two broke apart when Roger pulled back. He pressed his lips against her forehead, his hands moving to rest on her cheeks. "Let's get out of here," he said, softly, wiping at her tear stained cheeks with the pads of his thumbs. "I can't spend the last night of my life with you in a park," he said, putting his forehead against hers.
She let out a small, short laugh and nodded, slowly. "Let's go," she whispered, tilting her head and pressing her lips against his for just a brief moment. That brief moment was enough, however, to release the amount of passion that she had for him into that kiss.
He was caught off guard, slightly, but returned her kiss, then picked her up, spinning her around. "Where do you wanna go?" he asked, looking up at her. "Anywhere you want to go, we're going tonight," he said, smiling.
She looked down at him and smiled, her hands on his shoulders. "How are we getting places?" she asked, shimmying down to where she was on the ground in front of him, yet again.
He smiled. "Walking," he laughed, taking a hold of her hand, grabbing another cigarette and lighting it for her and himself. "Let's just start," he said, pulling her out of the park. He pulled her down by the school, wrapping his arms around her as they walked. Sure, it wasn't comfortable, but you know what? It was sweet.
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As Mimi's eyes fluttered open, the feeling of the sun beat down on her. She was in the park again, the two having returned after their night of sightseeing. She could feel her cheek was on another person and she opened her eyes, seeing a sleeping Roger Davis. She knew that it was time and she had merely an hour to run home, grab her things, and then catch her train. It would all be worth it. She'd be the dancer that she'd always promised herself to be and maybe, just maybe Roger and her would get together again. She knew that was unlikely, but anything was worth it to her.
She slowly brought her lips to his soft ones, placing one last kiss on them, feeling her heart being torn between the man that she loved and the things that she needed to do. She kissed his cheek and let one last tear slip down her cheek. "I love you," she whispered, standing up and running out of the park, not looking back until she'd gotten out of there.
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His eyes opened as he heard the footsteps of the park ranger stomping on the ground, yelling at him to wake up. He squinted as he looked up and saw an angry heavy-set man looking down at him. "Get up and get home before I call the cops on you, boy!" he screamed.
The word 'cops' ws enough for Roger to jerk forward. He got up and nodded, making his way out of the park, brushing the grass off of his clothes with each step that he took away from the angry man and away from his place in the park. Their place.
As he got out of the park, he remembered everything. She was gone now. He didn't get to tell her how much he loved her. Never again would he get to see her beautiful face in the moonlight or her smile that could light up a room.
He almost let a tear fall down his cheek. Almost. He wouldn't cry. No. No. He was a man, now. He'd let it hurt, then deal with it. No matter what way he could. He'd get his hands on a fix for his broken heart.
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As she sat on the train, looking around as people walked by them, she let the tears fall down her cheeks. She held onto her suitcase that held all of the money that she had and every other possession she could take with her. A picture of her and Roger would always remain with her. It was a candid shot that one of her friends had taken of them. They were walking and leaned in for a kiss, their hands holding each other's with fingers clasped together. She held onto it with her spare hand, her eyes running over every feature of it that she could.
They'd see each other again, someday. They would.
