Weddings can be scary and annoying; especially when shinobis are involved, your brothers scare your husband to be, and everyone hates your father. Families can be annoying too, but sometimes they surprise you. A fluffy drabble rated at T for the language. Post-series and probably AU. Mostly not my characters.

Family Matters

Choji fidgeted, he had eaten his last bag of chips and there was no place in his formal clothes to stash emergency rations. It was weird, Shikamaru was the one getting married, but Choji was the one getting butterflies in his stomach. However, it was not the upcoming ceremony, but the other man in the room that made him nervous. Kankuro was leaning against the wall near the door arms folded across his chest. He did not have his war paint on and had long since abandoned the designs that gave his face a feline appearance, but Choji could almost hear a tail swishing. Kankuro had the look of a cat toying with a cornered mouse.

Go ahead, the look said, you can run, but I'll catch you.

Choji wished that someone would come and make Kankuro go away. Choji could not order him to go; Kankuro was in the wedding party so he had a reason to be there. Sakura had dragged Naruto out earlier; he had been loud and obnoxious with his teasing, but Kankuro was not doing anything so obvious.

Shikamaru sighed. He sounded, as always, bored and bothered. Kankuro's grin got larger. Choji frowned, there had to be some way to get the big shinobi to leave.

It's hopeless, he thought, and no one is going to save us.

A throat cleared just outside the door. "Pardon me gentlemen, but may I borrow you for a moment Kankuro?"

Kankuro took a quick look over his shoulder, then resumed staring at his soon-to-be brother-in-law. "I'm a little busy right now, Miri."

"So I see. You'll have time to torment him later Kankuro. Come with me now, please."

Miri's voice was low, pleasant, and not very commanding, but the Sand shinobi unfolded his arms and pushed away from the wall.

"Alright. Whatever." He gave Shikamaru one last look and left the room.

Miri nodded politely. "Sorry for the intrusion and many happy wishes to you Shikamaru."

When they were gone, both Shikamaru and Choji sighed in relief. Shikamaru looked out the small window, hoping to see a cloud to float by.

"Weddings," he muttered. "So annoying."

"So," Kankuro said. "What's the emergency? I was having fun."

"Fun? Has anyone ever told you that you are evil?"

"As evil as they come. Where are we going?"

"You'll see." She gave him a sideways glance. "That outfit suits you."

Kankuro made a face. "It's pretty damn uncomfortable. It's hard to move and there's no place to stash weapons."

"So that's why you have kunai stuffed in your boxers. That's a little dangerous and it makes you walk funny."

"It's not that obvious. Staring at my ass again, huh?"

"Can't really see it, the haori covers it. I was trying to figure out how long it would take to get you out of those hakama. Those little gaps at your hips…are they meant to be so provocative?"

"Care to find out?"

"Maybe later."

"It's not fair. I had to get all dressed up and you didn't."

"Don't pout. I am not in the wedding party. And I am dressed up, in case you hadn't noticed."

Kankuro had noticed. She was wearing a long shirt of heavy undyed silk with a high collar over a long black divided skirt.

"That's not a kimono."

"They do not wear them where I come from."

"At least you can carry some protection."

"What? My sword is at home and I'm not wearing my mail shirt."

"No," Kankuro pointed at the long strands of blue leather wrapped around her wrist, "but that's a garrote, you've got a knife in your boot, and that stick pin in your hair has another use."

Miri shrugged. It was a wedding between two important shinobi families that would unite two powerful shinobi villages, only an idiot would go unarmed.

She stopped by a door. "In here."

"Isn't this Temari's dressing room?"

"That it is. You need to talk to your sister. She is a little upset at the moment."

"A little upset? What the hell? Temari doesn't get a little anything. She only has two settings, calm and ballistic."

"Someone said something to her and now she's locked herself in the change room. Go and talk to her. Sakura's dealing with the injuries. Nothing serious, but the wind blast did bounce people around a little."

"Injuries?! What the hell do you want me to do? I'm no good at that sort of shit. Couldn't Gaara…?"

"You are best suited to handle this problem."

Kankuro folded his arms, set his jaw in a stubborn line, and put his most intimidating expression on his face. Miri tilted her head a little and stared back at him. There was a faint smile tugging at the corner of her mouth. Kankuro could hear someone crying in the other room and Sakura's voice telling them that they would be alright.

Women, he thought, are a damn nuisance.

"You can glare at me all you like," Miri said after a couple of minutes, "but it only delays the whole proceeding." She grinned and Kankuro knew that he was doomed. "I could go and get Gaara to assign this to you as an S-ranked mission."

Kankuro swore. Miri slid the door open, put her hand on his back, pushed him inside, and shut the door behind him. Kankuro looked around and grimaced, women in bright flowery kimonos were scattered all over. Matsuri was sitting with a flower girl trying to get her to stop crying, Ino was in another corner with a girl trying to fix her hair, and another girl was standing beside them looking traumatized. Sakura was patching up an old woman whom Kankuro did not recognize.

"What the hell?" he muttered.

Sakura and her patient looked up. The old woman flinched at the sight of Temari's brother.

"I didn't mean anything by it," she said, sounding terrified. "I thought… Please don't hurt me."

Kankuro growled, "Sakura, what the fuck is going on? We don't have time for this shit."

"Miri didn't tell you?"

"Do I look like I know why I'm here?!"

Sakura sighed, a feeling a little annoyed with Miri. The swordswoman should have said something. Then she realized that it was probably a good thing that Miri had not. If Kankuro had burst into the room in a full on rant, it would have given the old woman a heart attack and scared everyone else witless.

No, she thought, Miri knew exactly what she was doing. Let Temari tell him the details and then he'll try to stay calm for her sake. And in the meantime we can get everyone else out of here.

She patted the old woman's hand. "Don't worry ma'am, no one's blaming you for anything. Matsuri, please take Kaede and her auntie outside."

She gestured for Ino to do the same with the other two bride's maids.

Kankuro tried the door of the dressing room. It was locked, so he banged his fist on it.

"Temari! Open the hell up!"

"Uh, Kankuro?"

"What?!"

"Maybe don't break the door down. She's pretty upset. The old woman made some comment and well…"

"What did she say?"

"She didn't really mean anything. She's old and not too bright, so…"

Kankuro made a deep rumbling sound.

"I don't know exactly, but it was about your father. I guess she…"

Kankuro said something so foul it made Sakura blush. "What the hell was she doing here anyways?"

"She was helping Temari with her make up."

Kankuro rolled his eyes and turned back to the door. He slammed his fist against it a few more times and yelled his sister's name.

"Kankuro, I don't think we need to add property damage to the bill for this wedding. The idea is to solve this without any more violence."

For a moment Kankuro looked like he was going to explode, then he took a deep breath. He rubbed the back of his neck and made his shoulders relax.

"I'll go and make sure everyone is ready for when you're done."

"Thanks Sakura."

She flapped a hand. "Not a problem."

She turned to go, but then, on an impulse, she turned back and stood on tiptoe so she could kiss his cheek.

"You are a good brother. Temari-chan and Gaara-sama are so lucky."

"Enough with that sappy shit."

Sakura giggled and left. Kankuro put his hand on the lock; chakra strings were good for more than just controlling puppets. A few seconds later he was sliding the door open.

Temari looked up when he walked in. Kankuro grimaced, it was clear that she had been crying. Her eyes were red, her nose was drippy, her hair was a mess, and her make up was smeared all over her face. He hated it when girls cried, he never knew what to do and it always made him feel like he had done something wrong, even when he had not. It was even worse when it was someone like his sister who was normally in total control.

"Gah! What the hell Temari?"

Temari hiccupped, taken aback by his appearance. It was like her thoughts had conjured up a ghost. His expression, chin tilted back and eyebrows raised, and the handsome formal clothes made Kankuro's resemblance to the Fourth Kazekage even stronger.

"Kankuro," she sniffed, "you're not supposed to look better than the groom."

Kankuro wrinkled his nose. "The only way that rat faced moron's the best looking guy in the room is when he's alone. And even then it's a close call between him and the furniture."

Temari had to choke out a little laugh at that. "Kankuro!"

She reached for a tissue, blew her nose, and scrubbed at her eyes, trying to get her composure back. She hated to cry, especially in front of her brothers.

Kankuro grimaced; Temari was making an even bigger mess of her face. There was a second stool in the room, he slid it over and sat down, being mindful of the sharp weapons in his underwear.

"What the hell, Temari? Are you trying to scare him away with that face? If you've changed your mind about marrying him, I'd be happy to kick his ass back to the Leaf village for you."

A quick rummage through the cosmetics on the counter yielded a jar of cold cream. Kankuro smeared a glob on a tissue and took his sister's chin in one hand. He might not be able to help her with her problems, but he did know a little about make up.

Temari started when the cold cream touched her face, but after a few moments she relaxed and let Kankuro clean her up. His large hands were warm and gentle. She had spent many years watching him manipulate tools and puppets, but she was still surprised by how delicate his touch was. His fingers smoothed across her cheeks, forehead, and temples until Temari felt some of the tension drain out of her body.

Kankuro tossed the crumpled tissue aside and surveyed the selection of brushes and cosmetics on the little dresser. He picked up a brush and ran his thumb over it.

"These are pretty shitty. I hope you weren't paying her."

He sorted through the little pots of make up until he had some that he liked.

"Close your eyes and tilt your head back."

"Kankuro," Temari protested, "I don't want to go out there looking like you."

"You won't. You couldn't pull it off."

"But you don't know anything about women's make up."

"Hah! Show's how little you know, sister dear. The actor who showed me how to put my paint on was an onna-gata. He gave me a few tips. Then a few years later this geisha showed me some other stuff." He grinned. "She really knew how to use a brush."

Temari rolled her eyes. "I don't want to know."

Kankuro chuckled. "No, you probably don't. Stop making that face and relax. Did you have to make such a mess?"

Temari sniffed and Kankuro grimaced, he should not have reminded her about what had upset her. He picked up a small sponge and found some suitable foundation. He worked in silence for a few minutes, covering up the redness and then reapplying her makeup.

"There." he said. "All done. Can't do anything about the hair though."

"Ino can fix it."

Temari looked in the mirror and was surprised by the reflection. It looked good; Kankuro had covered up all the splotchy patches on her face and had done a better job of applying the make up than the old woman had. His colour choices suited her and had been blended into her skin perfectly.

"Not bad at all, if I do say so myself." Kankuro folded his arms and leaned back, making a show of inspecting her face. "You look a little less goofy than usual."

"Well you are the expert on goofy looks."

Kankuro made a face.

Temari laughed. "Don't do that. I'll wreck what you just fixed." She paused. "Thank-you Kankuro. And sorry."

He shrugged. Temari never apologized; he hoped that she was not going to start crying again.

"I won't cry again. She just caught me off guard. She was rambling on and on and I wasn't really listening, and then some how she started in on how relieved I must be that he didn't live to see this day."

Kankuro shook his head in disgust. "Creaky old bitch."

"Kankuro! You know that sort of thing doesn't bother me. Normally. But today…" She looked at her brother. "Do you think he would have liked Shikamaru? Would he have approved?"

"Hell no! No one would ever be good enough for his little desert flower. But…it's a good match, it accomplishes some of the things he wanted, and the moron is devoted to you. Even I can see that."

Temari smiled and nodded; it was true. Her father would have tormented Shikamaru, but acknowledged him in the end. He would have approved of the match too; it brought their villages closer together and strengthened both of them.

"I wish…" she stopped. Kankuro did not like to hear that sort of talk.

However, he surprised her by nodding. "Yeah, me too. Because on days like this people would have seen what he was really like; acting all proud as his favorite got married."

"Oh, pfft, you were always the favorite Kankuro. You were too dense to notice, but every little trick you learned, no matter how annoying or nasty, made him proud. He'd get this look on his face, even when he was scolding you for some trick you'd pulled."

Kankuro snorted. "But he told you. He might have been proud, but he never said anything to me and it didn't stop him from belting me when he was pissed."

"I guess he loved us both, in his own way," Temari said. "But Gaara…"

"I used to wonder how he could have done that to him, his own kid. But he…he put all his hopes and dreams for the village on him. He didn't think long enough about the consequences of his actions, but…you don't do something like that out of hate, do you?"

Temari blinked, surprised by the insight. "No, I don't think you do. Kankuro…when did you get so grown up… so deep?"

"About time someone noticed. Maybe you could point that out to Baki."

Temari smiled. "You're on your own with him." She paused, thinking. She was trying to decide about something, she had toyed with the idea and then discarded it, but now she was not so sure.

"Kankuro…"

"I know that look. What do I have to do now?"

"Would you…would you give me away? I know you were supposed to be in the groom's party, but…"

"Why? Because I look like him? Are you trying to remind everyone of him?"

"No! Well, maybe a little… I was going to just walk out there myself, because that whole giving the bride away tradition is horrible. I'm not anyone's property."

Kankuro opened his mouth to make a smart comment.

Temari raised her hand; she was holding one of her small fans.

Kankuro shut his mouth, leaned back, and made a placating gesture.

"But now… Maybe I do want to remind everyone," she continued. "People need to be reminded that we are a family, just like them, with hopes and dreams. And today we are joining with another family to make some of them come true. So if you do this, people will see that we're a family and a close one at that. That is what we became in the end, isn't it?"

"Yeah, we did. But if that's what you want, then shouldn't Gaara…he's the Kazekage."

"He'll be speaking at the reception, that's where people need to see him. But here, now…I think I want you to stand up with me."

Kankuro rubbed the back of his neck. "You're sure?"

Temari nodded. "I've decided. That's what we'll do." She saw the hesitation in his face. "What? Don't tell me the puppet master is afraid to go out in public without his make up on?"

"Hell no, and stop calling it make up!" He stood. "Fine, let's get this damn ceremony going. And Temari, I'm...uh…honoured to do this for you."

"I'm glad you were here, Kankuro." She held her arm out for him. "Let's go then."

Temari found Ino and got her hair fixed. A few minutes later they were ready to go.

"You're sure?" he asked again.

She squeezed his hand. "I am."

"I hope that moron knows just how amazing you are, how lucky he is."

"If he ever forgets I'm sure you'll remind him."

"Damn right. Let's do this."

Shikamaru's eyes got wide at the sight of his wife-to-be and her brother as they made their entrance. Temari looked more beautiful than ever and, Shikamaru had to admit, Kankuro was pretty impressive. Shikamaru's gaze flicked over to Gaara. The Kazekage was a slight man, but still imposing. The whole family was just plain scary.

Shikamaru made a low noise, almost a moan.

"What?" Choji asked.

"If he gives her away he'll be staring at me through the whole thing." He sighed. The ceremony was a long one and he would have to tolerate that large and evil grin through all of it. "Families are annoying Choji, so annoying."