The Sound of Silence
S. L. AyerDisclaimer: Naruto is defiantly NOT mine…ENJOY!!
For of all sad words of tongue or pen,
The saddest of these: "It might have been."
-John Greenleaf Whittier
Being gay is hard.
No one accepts you. Especially not at first.
They think you're a freak. Strange. Different. And as humans go, being different gives them the right to put you down and make you feel like dirt.
I can't help being what I am and I can't help having an attraction for men.
A homosexual ninja. What a mix.
- - - - - -
"So," Sasuke said, taking a sip of beer from the bottle. My five best friends and I were at a bar called Knock-Out's. Our regular pad.
"See anything nice?" Sasuke gave a devilish grin. I swallowed. No one knew I was gay yet. I didn't know how they would take it. I mean, when Iruka and Kakashi were accused of being gay everyone left them alone for a really long time. We still avoid them.
"Uh, yeah." I pointed to a purple haired girl in the corner. She looked waaay to shy for me, though. I think her name was Hinata.
"Ooh," Neji cooed. "She's got great legs. Good eye." He winked. He paused then shot daggers at me. "That's my cousin, you idiot!"
I smiled a lop-sided grin at him and shrugged.
"Hey, Naruto?" I turned to Gaara.
"Yeah?"
"Ya'll right? You look a little pail." Gaara put his hand on my forehead.
"I'm fine." I took a step back.
"Man, are you sure?" Rock Lee asked.
"I…I honestly don't know." I closed my eyes and leaned against the bar counter.
"We can drive you home if ya want, Naruto." Shikamaru grabbed my left arm.
"Um,…yeah. Okay." I followed my friends out the door to Sasuke's van. Sasuke drove with Rock Lee and Gaara in front and Neji, Shikamaru, and me in the back.
"So, Naruto," Lee started. "have you been looking at any chickadees at school?"
"Not really."
"Why not?" Neji joined in. "I mean compared to the five of us hooligans you're actually something a chick would want a guy to look like."
OMG. Neji just called me cute.
"Neji, are you hitting on him?" Shikamaru stared wide-eyed at Neji.
"Of course I am." Neji put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me closer to him. Taking my left hand into his, he rested his head in the crook of my neck. "Naruto's my little uke. Ain't that right, onii-chan?"
"What the…" Sasuke exclaimed looking in the mirror at the two of us. "Hey, now. No necking in my van-"
"But you and Sakura make-out all the time in this hunk of junk." Lee accused.
"That was a long time ago. No necking in my van, unless it's with a girl." Sasuke rolled his eyes.
"But Naruto and I were just getting started." Neji looked up at me and slowly tilted his chin toward me. His lips inches away from mine. "He may be a failure at everything else, but when it comes to being my lover..." He closed his eyes and shook his head slightly. "He is the best. Right, Naru-chan?"
Holy mother flipping crap!
Without thinking I grabbed the back of his head and pulled him closer. His breath caught in his throat. I was hungry and he was poking the tiger (or should I say Nine Tailed Fox?) with a short stick.
"Naruto, what are you doing?" Shikamaru squeaked.
I laughed nervously. "He's the one who was hitting on me." I let go of Neji's head.
"Whoa." Neji slowly pulled away. "That was good, Naruto." He laughed softly. "I really thought you were gonna kiss me."
"I woulda, had these clowns not been in the car." I winked.
"Uh…er…Naruto, are you being serious?" Gaara asked turning in his seat.
I cocked an eyebrow at him. "Do you think I'm gay, Sandy?"
"Well, no, but-"
"He's a great actor." Sasuke came to my rescue. "Almost as good as (A/n: sorry guys, I really do not know of any really good actors…they all suck to me…anime and manga are better than anything…especially yaoi…mm…whoa! Back to the plot!) ."
"Shoo, he's the best." Lee chimed in.
"Yeah, did you see his last movie?" Shikamaru asked. "Personally, I thought it was a drag."
"Everything is a drag to you!" Neji cried.
And so the subject changed as quickly as it had come.
Thank God.
Soon we pulled up in front of my apartment. Sasuke walked me to my door.
"Hey, man," He said as we stood underneath the porch light. "Is there something you need to tell me?"
Oh, if he only knew.
"Not really." I lied looking at my feet.
"Well something's bugging the hell outta you and I want to know what the flip it is so I can friggin help you." He roughly grabbed my arms. I averted my eyes. He shook me lightly. "Dammit, look at me."
I did. My eyes were swimming in lust. I always had had a crush on Sasuke. Ever since that first day I met him in class. He is the reason for my interest in men.
He blinked.
"Are…are you…" He trailed off.
"Am I what, Sasuke?" I glared defiantly at him.
"Are you homo?" He whispered.
I sighed. "Yes."
"That's why you refuse all the girls at school." It wasn't a question. Now he was putting two and two together.
"Yes." I looked at my feet.
A long silence passed between us.
"Are you gonna tell the others?" I asked softly.
"Do you want me to?"
The kindness in his voice made me look up at him.
"Why do you care what I think?"
"You're still my best friend, Naruto. Homo or straight." He squeezed my fore-arms. "You'll always be my brother from another mother. Don't you dare forget that. I'll see you in a few hours."
"Wha-" before I could finish Sasuke had turned and got back in his car.
Shit, shit, shity, shit, shit!…CRAP!!
Why did I let him go, knowing that?
Moron!
Oh, well. I could always move, I guess.
I slowly walked into the apartment. Suke, short for Sasuke, my little black kitten, mewed and rubbed up against my leg.
"Hey, baby." I cooed. Neji had given him to me for my last birthday. It was a gag gift because of the cat's name. I, personally, would not have named my cat with the word 'uke' in it…then again,…Sas-'uke'…hmmmm.
Kicking my shoes off, I checked my messages. Two new calls.
First call:
"Hiiiiiiiii, Naaarrruuuutttooooo!" A very high pitched voice screeched from the small black box. Argh. Haku. He really had to stop calling me. Freakin stalker.
"Uh, it's me. Haku!" The message went on. "Um, you haven't called me back. Just wondering about you. So, yeah, uhhhh, call me!" Beep!
Deleted.
Second call:
"Hey, Naruto." A female voice. "It's Ino from second hour, Killing Tech. Just wondering if you'd like to do something sometime. Call me." Beep! As if. Sorry, sweetie, but I swing the other way.
Deleted.
I sat on the dark leather sofa in my living room.
I must have fallen asleep at some point because I woke up to taping on my front door. I moved to open it.
"Haku, I swear if it's you, I'm callin' the police…" I stopped dead as I swung the door open to find Sasuke staring at me strangely.
"Who's Haku?" Sasuke asked.
"Hi, Sasuke." I stepped back to let him in. "My stalker."
"Oh," He strolled in, swinging his hips ever so slightly. Has this guy ever heard of cruel and unusual torture?!
"Is she nice?" Sasuke asked.
"He." I corrected.
His mouth formed an O of understanding.
"So," I started, closing the door. "To what do I owe this visit?"
"Well," Sasuke said softly. "I have something to tell you, but first where can a guy get something to eat?"
"Well, I have some left-over lasagna and pizza in the fridge." I offered. "And, of course, ramen."
"No thanks." He moved closer to me. "You sound more appetizing to me." He leaned forward and nuzzled my neck.
I stiffened and stepped back.
"Sasuke, are you…"
He stared up at me and his eyes shone midnight blue. I gazed at him curiously.
"How long have you been…" I trailed off.
He stalked me around the room. "That's not important. And as I said before, I'm hungry." Every step he took towards me, I took a step back and wound up colliding with the wall. Sasuke came eye level with me. My eyes couldn't have possibly have gotten wider.
"So pretty," He murmured as he ran his hand through my long blond hair. He laughed lightly. "What? A bit ago you were gay. Why are you hesitating?"
Hesitating? Not for long. I arched my neck and laid a passionate kiss on his soft lips. He was in shock for a moment, but then kissed back with equal luster.
"Mmmm…" I sighed at the taste of him. Like butter and cinnamon. "How long have you liked guys?"
"Since I met you." He pulled back so he could look into my eyes. "And you?"
"Since I met this cute boy in first grade. He gave me half of his chocolate-chip cookie and in that moment I fell in love."
Sasuke glared at me.
I giggled. "You do remember that you were the one who gave me that half a cookie, right?" I stopped. "You're just playn' with me, right?" I looked around. "Okay. Where's Gaara, Neji, Lee, and Shikamaru?"
"What are you talking about, dobe?" Sasuke snorted. "It's just you and me." He licked his lips provocatively. "Only sexy, hot you and a very hungry me."
"How come you never told me you were gay?" I demanded.
"How come you never told me you were gay?" Sasuke retorted.
"I was afraid you'd reject me."
"And our friendship was too precious to risk." He concluded.
I kissed him lightly on the lips. He returned the kiss with a slightly animal-like need. One of my hands cupped the back of his head and the other his waist. Sasuke leaned into me and ground his hips against mine.
"Should we be doing this?" I gasped.
"I don't know," He smirked wickedly. "But I like it."
"What will happen to our friendship if we continue?"
He considered this.
"I guess it would make us a couple." He answered.
"Really?"
"Do you not want to?"
"I do!" I paused. "But what would the guys say? And school? And your brother?" Sasuke's older brother was like God to him. Itachi was a great guy. A little dark and emoish, but real cool after you got to know him. The two Uchiha siblings had had a serious family problem, but after a few talks and about four years of therapy, they finally agreed to not kill each other. Itachi adopted Sasuke and they have lived with each other for the past five years.
"Aw, Itachi doesn't give a rat's ass about me." Sasuke scoffed.
"Yes he does." I held the side of Sasuke's face. "And so do you. I couldn't forgive myself if your relationship with your brother got screwed up again over me."
"Okay, dobe." Sasuke backed away reluctantly. "I see how it is."
"What?" I questioned.
"You don't want me." He turned away from me.
"Oh, don't you even think that, dattebayo." I pounced on him making him fall into the sofa, me on his back. "Take it back." I commanded
"No. You don't wa-" I pulled his long dark hair. "Ow! Stop it!"
"Not until you take it back." I smiled. "Now say that I do want you but for your own good I can't have you."
"No!"
I tugged harder.
"Say it!"
"Never!"
"Say it!"
"No!"
"For the love of God, mother flippn', say it!"
"Naruto Uzumaki, I love you. Have always loved you. Will always love you. And now after all these years of hiding my love for you, you reject me! I will never give up now that I know that you love me too! Never!"
We were silent for a few moments. Finally, I bent my head close to his, which lay on its side next to the arm of the sofa.
I stared into his deep eyes. So warm and yet, so cold.
"Please, Naruto." Sasuke pleaded. "I never beg. You know that. But for you, I would beg. Naruto, I need you." With that, he grabbed my head and pulled me into another kiss.
"Since that first day at school, I've loved you." I murmured against Sasuke's lips. "You were so cool and everyone wanted to be by you. I only wanted to be with you." I got off his back and sat at the edge of the couch while he pulled himself upright. I kept my eyes averted. "When I asked to sit next to you in class on the first day of becoming ninjas, you scoffed at me and told me to shove off. I simply knocked your books off the table and sat down. And-"
"In that moment of defiance I fell madly in love with you." Sasuke finished.
"We were never friends until we became team-mates on team 7." I paused to reflect on all the crap we did to each other as kids. "Why did it take so long for the truth to come out?"
"Fate has a nasty way of screwing people up." Sasuke wrapped his arms around my shoulders and leaned his head on mine.
"I love you, Sasuke Uchiha." I whispered. A second later and I felt something wet on my forearm.
"I've waited eleven years to hear you say that." He whispered.
I looked down at Sasuke and saw that he was freely crying. I took my finger and wiped away the tears on his cheeks. "So pretty." I quoted.
He closed his eyes and hugged me. I encircled him with my own arms and held him close.
We stayed like that for the entire night.