Part I
Three months had passed since Karma and Amy had started school at UT-Austin, and Karma, like always, was trying to find ways to fit in.
"Amy, come on. Come to the club with me tonight," she begged of her roommate.
"You know I don't like loud and crowded places. Besides, I don't know why you want to go to a lesbian club anyways. The only guys you could pick up are the ones looking for a 'challenge', and trust me, you do not want to go down that path." Amy recalled her and Karma's sophomore year at Hester High. She remembered her and Karma being briefly and mistakenly outed as a couple, only for Lauren to shut it down less than 24 hours later. She also remembered Liam Booker, the boy who was crazy over Karma Ashcroft for the brief time that he thought she was a lesbian, but quickly lost interest when he found out she was straight.
Karma never quite recovered from that. It wasn't so much she was crazy in love with Liam Booker, but that she craved approval from the most popular boy in school. It made Amy want to pull her hair out. She didn't understand why Karma let such unimportant people have such a huge say in the way she views herself.
"Amy, we've talked about this. I am done with boys." Karma's boyfriend of two months, which, for the record, was the longest relationship she has ever had, broke her heart only a few weeks back. Karma had caught him texting rather intimate things to another girl. Amy could not for the life of her understand why Karma attracted these types of guys.
"You can't just be done with boys, Karma. And just because you're done with boys doesn't mean you're into girls. It doesn't work that way," Amy rolled her eyes as she spoke as the voice of reason for the millionth time.
"I don't know, a lot of girls experiment in college. Who knows? I could be bi. But we'll never find out unless you go to this stupid club with me." Amy sat at the edge of her bed uncomfortably. She decided to end it with her boyfriend of 2 years, Oliver, when he left for college at UCLA. As much as she hated to admit it, she didn't miss him terribly. Oliver was a good guy and she felt comfortable around him. He was cute, compassionate, sweet, and they got along wonderfully. She figured she must have been in love with him and that's why she didn't want to start dating another boy yet. Still, the thought of going to a lesbian club made her a tad uncomfortable. She was willing to do it for Karma though. She was willing to do anything for Karma.
"Fine. But only because I can't stand to watch The Notebook for the 11th time in three weeks."
"I knew you'd crack," Karma smirked, opening Amy's closet. "We have to find you something cute to wear."
"M-me? Why? Aren't we going to pick a girl up for you?" Amy asked nervously.
"Well, yeah. But I figured you would want to too. It would help you get over Oliver," she smiled.
"I'm not even remotely gay," Amy laughed. It was absurd. She couldn't even pretend to be gay back at Hester.
"Okay," Karma rolled her eyes, continuing to go through Amy's clothes.
"What? You think I am?!" Amy asked defensively.
"I think you need to get dressed," Karma said, throwing a dress at Amy. "We'll see what happens."
Part II:
Amy started getting irritated the second they walked through the doors. Karma picked up on this and offered to get them drinks with her fake ID. "Whatever," Amy said, feeling uncomfortable as ever. She leaned against the wall and looked at the ground while she waited for Karma.
"Hey, how's it going?" shouted a voice over the loud music. The owner of the voice was a beautiful tall girl holding a drink in her hand.
"Not bad," Amy shouted back.
"Can I buy you a drink?"
"Oh, no thanks. I'm not um. I'm not gay. I'm here for a friend."
"Oh," the girl said, clearly disappointed. "Well, that's nice of you to come and support your friend."
"Yeah," Amy laughed. "She's not gay either."
The girl gave her a strange look and walked away. Amy shrugged happy to end that uncomfortable encounter. She always had been bad at small talk. She was happy to see Karma return with her drink.
"Who was that cute girl you were talking to?" Karma asked excitedly.
"I have no idea," Amy responded.
"Well, is she coming back?"
"I don't know."
"Amy, come on. At least try."
"Can't we just hang out?"
"No, Amy Raudenfeld. You need to step outside of your comfort zone. Which is why we're going to split up and meet up at the end of the night with our dates. Okay bye!" She rushed through her words before kissing Amy on the cheek and disappearing into the crowd.
Part III:
Amy had spent the entire night on her phone. The drink calmed her nerves enough to get used to the loud music, and she had beaten her high score on flappy bird twice. All in all, Amy considered it a pretty successful night. Her game was interrupted when she received a text from her best friend.
Karma: Ready to go?
Amy: Yes! Meet me outside!
Karma: Be right there.
Amy waited by the car to see a disgruntled Karma walking towards her.
"Where's your date?" Amy asked.
"Where's yours?" Karma snapped.
"Whoa, I'm guessing things didn't go well?"
"I don't know what I did wrong. Girls are so much pickier than guys. Am I ugly and you're not telling me?"
"No, Karma." Amy rolled her eyes.
"I'm so done with girls," Karma said decisively. "Let's go home."
While Amy was relieved to leave the club, she admittedly felt bad for her friend. Karma tried to be so positive about everything but she always seemed to get the short end of the stick. They got back to their dorm around midnight, and Karma was already turning on Netflix.
"Oh god, Karma no. Not the fucking Notebook again."
"Yes the fucking Notebook again," Karma quipped. "Hasn't my night been traumatic enough?"
"Okay drama queen," Amy said, yanking away the remote and turning off the TV. "Let's get drunk and have our own party," she said taking a bottle of vodka out of the fridge. Amy didn't care for drinking or partying all too much, but she knew Karma did and she felt bad for her heartbroken friend.
"Okay," Karma said, a smile breaking through her face.
Part IV:
A few drinks later they were both completely hammered and talking about all sorts of things.
"But Amy, he was such a nice guy. I don't get it," Karma said, talking about Oliver. "Why didn't you want to have sex with him?"
"Not everyone is as horny as you Karma," Amy laughed, "I think I probably just want to wait until marriage."
Karma giggled uncontrollably at her friend's declaration. "You're just saying that because you didn't like Oliver."
"What? Of course I liked Oliver. I dated him for two years."
"Okay Amy," she said, taking another swig.
"What else could it be?" Amy asked.
"I don't know. Why did you get so uncomfortable when we went to the gay club tonight? And why do you get so defensive every time I bring up the fact that you might like girls?"
"Because it's ridiculous. What, you think I'm gay and that's why? I don't like girls any more than I like Oliver."
"Amy…" Karma said, crawling from the end of Amy's bed to meet her by the headboard. She straddled Amy and started to move closer to her face.
"Karma, what the fuck are you doing?" Amy's heart began to race. She didn't know what was happening, but she didn't like it. But she also really liked it, which made her not like it even more.
"Shh," Karma said, inching their faces closer. "This was going to happen sooner or later," she whispered against Amy's lips before bending down and closing the gap.
Amy sat there motionless with her eyes open while Karma gently kissed her bottom lip. Reluctantly, she closed her eyes and kissed her back. She relaxed against the headboard and slipped into how good this felt. Too good. Dangerously good. She moved her hands to Karma's waist and pulled her down, decreasing the distance between their bodies. Karma moaned into her mouth and fuck it felt good.
Karma pulled back, keeping her eyes shut for a few seconds before opening them and looking into Amy's eyes. "Whoa," she managed to mutter out.
"I know," Amy breathlessly replied. She had never experienced anything like that. She had never wanted someone so much in her entire life. "Why did you stop?"
"I-I don't," Karma stuttered, backing up and returning to sitting at the edge of the bed. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that."
"What? No, no it's fine!" Amy reassured.
"Amy, no. I just.."
"Tell me," Amy said, her tone becoming more serious. The night went from joking around to something much more in a matter of minutes.
"It's nothing, I'm just drunk."
"Karma, that felt really good."
Karma looked down at her hands for a few seconds before weakly responding. "Did it?"
"Yes," Amy said, nodding furiously. "We should do that again. Preferably right now. Come on, you wanted to right?"
"Amy stop. I don't think you understand."
"So what?! We're drunk! It doesn't mean anything." Amy was too drunk to be scared of the consequences of what she had just felt. She just wanted more of this new feeling.
"Okay, now I know you don't understand. Fuck, I'm sorry Amy. Let's just go to bed."
Amy sat there completely bewildered by what just happened. Karma had tried so hard to get her on board with this, and when she finally was, she backed off entirely.
"Wait," Amy said. "Can you just.. can we just sleep in the same bed? Like we used to? I miss you."
"You miss me?" Karma laughed. "Amy, we literally live in the same room. We sleep two feet away from each other."
"Please?" She was drunk, and it was weird. But she was too drunk for it to be weird.
"Yeah," Karma said, making her way towards Amy's bed. "Okay."
She slipped under the covers next to Amy and leaned over to turn the lamp off. "Good night," Karma said as Amy reached over and held her close. "Night," Amy said, breathing into her neck.
As Amy held Karma and watched her fall asleep, unwilling to fall asleep herself, she finally understood why she never wanted to sleep with Oliver.