Chapter I :Dr.Bitch
Pairing: CaddIE … Callie/AddisonCallie/George, Addison/Alex implied )))
Disclaimer: I don't own Greys Anatomy and I don't own any of the characters.
Summary: Addison's POV. Addison is broken. Can someone help her?
You think the only people who are people
Are the people who look and think like you
But if you walk the footsteps of a stranger
You'll learn things you never knew.
I just kissed her. Again! And it felt like the right thing. Nothing was between us only we both stand here in an empty room in the Seattle Grace Hospital and everything was right in our little dream. But just for a moment. Nobody may know. It was forbidden, but still the right in our hearts. We dating? No we were not. We were just fucking? Yes. I think I can call it so. We were just fucking. We had a little dirty affaire and nobody knew. Always if Callie needs me, I was there for her and I can fell like it up-eaten me. Slowly, like an ulcer or like cancer. Piece by piece eats me up and I can't nothing do about it. I am addicted. I am addicted after Callie, after her smell, after her lips, after her hands. I am just addicted and it eats me up.I knew that she won't a relationship with me. She only wants to forget always when she and O'Malley had again a fight. And the first time it was good for me, but now if I see her, if I kiss her, hell, if I fuck her, the only think I know is how much I love her. And how much I wanna make love to her. Real Love! Softly and passionate love!
"We have to stop," I began to say between the kisses; "we have to go to work again. Otherwise they will look for us." Callie began again to kiss me on my lips, softly but still passionate. "Callie, -… Cal! Please." I pushed her a little bit away, "we have really to stop." I said seriously and looked in Callie's wonderful brown, black eyes. And it felt my heart with love.
"I know. I know," Callie sighed and took a deep breath, "is it so wrong that I don't want to go now?" She smiled a bit and leaned against me, with a little kiss.
"Do you wanna know something?" I asked nervous her and played with a button of the black blouse from Callie.
"Sure. What is it?" she leaned for a kiss to me.
"I love you." I bit my lips in expectations. I not say it often because I know what she will say but sometimes I just have to say it, to have a few minutes in my real dream. I know she want to say something but I stopped her with my index finger. "Shh… you don't have to say anything," I gave her a broken smile but she sees that my heart was broken. "You don't have to say anything," I repeated and try to hold my tears. "Please, just take these words and say nothing. Just for the moment." She nodded in agreement and kissed me on my lips. "I will see you later," Callie whispered and began to go out the door but I stopped her, "I am sorry." I looked at her. "It's okay Addy. I will see you later." These were her last words as she went out. She said its okayI sighed and couldn't believe it that I ruined the moment. Again!
xxxx
Later on the day I just wanted to forget about the morning. It hurts too much and nobody could do anything about it except Callie Torres.
"I am hopeless." I sighed and looked thoughtless at my files. "I am Dr. Bitch and not Dr. Winy." I scoffed my own thoughts.
"Dr. Bitch?"
A male voice tore me out my thought and I just stand there and looked at the men. "Huh?" That was the only thing I could say, I could think."You said. You're Dr. Bitch." The man answered with a grin.
"Ugh yeah I AM," I tried to say proud. "I am Dr. Bitch and I love it," I went again to my files in the hope he would go but he doesn't. "Dr. Karev what do you want?" I asked disturbed. He twitched. "Nothing. I just wanna say I saw you the last days. No, the last weeks and... I mean," he began to stutter,..."what I try to say, if you need someone to talk. I am here." He went and I was alone. I starred at my files, couldn't read the words. Am I so disturbed from her that everyone can see it? I still starred at my files and I could feel the tears. I couldn't hold the tears back. I went quickly to an empty room and I was glad I could find the room. My tear ran now. Fast! I could hold them any longer. I leaned me on the closed door and skidded with my back on the door on the floor. Oh my god I really cried, it was the only thing that I could think. All the months as I hold my tears back came now to rise to the surface.
XXXX
I don't know how long I sat here but which I know is that someone tore me out my thoughts as it gave a knock. "Just a moment," that was the only words I could say with my scraped voice. I wiped my tears away and hoped nobody would notice my red eyes. As I opened the door I was surprised to find Callie. "CALLIE!"
"Hey," she said almost shyly. "I saw you to go in the room and…" she began to stutter, "I mean to say I saw that you're not okay, and I really care me about you." She stopped and looked hopeful to me. I went a little bit away in order to let her go in the empty room near beside me.
"What's wrong Addy?" she asked careful and laid her hand on my back. "Is it because this morning?" "NO, damn," I almost screamed. I never screamed at her. I almost felt guilty for it. But only almost! "It's not because this morning. It's because everything." I began again to cry. I never cried for people. I hate it. I am Dr. Bitch. Dr. Bitch. I began to say to me. What I do is weakly and I hate it. "I can't do this anymore, Callie." I sighed and looked at her. "I feel me so empty, almost death. I am so sorry Callie." I stopped and looked at her. "Do you understand me?" I asked her with exceptions.
"Yes Addy." That was the only thing she would say she began went to me and pulled me in a hug. "I am so sorry too, baby." She stroked my back," but I can't do this what you want from me. I love George. I am not a lesbian."
"Haha.." I scoffed her. "You're not a lesbian. Are you kidding me?" I laughed at her. "You did things with me, with my body which I never thought that it would give. You are a LIAR if you say that you have no feelings for me." I screamed again at her. I think it helps. It helps to heal all my wounds on my soul.
"You have to make a decision Callie." I said hopeless' because I already knew her answer. "I know already your answer but Callie," I stopped to collect my thoughts. "You should know that I love you. I love your smile, your lips, your smell," I sighed. "I love everything about you. And George is really stupid if he doesn't see it." I looked again at her and she stand there like a little girl, I felt me guilty for it. "I am sorry Callie.""NO," she said and went to me. "Can I kiss you? A last time?" I could hear her despair. I leaned me to her for the last time and began to kiss her softly. It was a softly kiss, so innocently and sensitive kiss. I wished the kiss would never over. But soon she would go. Go away and would be together with O'Malley. He doesn't deserve her love.
NOTES: Its my first "Grey's Anatomy" FanFiction, inspired by callieluvr she wrote some really amazing awesome Caddie FanFictions. And ts my first FanFiction without a BETA Reader. Cos I found no one. lol So Sorry for gramatic mistakes. It's not my native language.