Hot August Night
The night was hot. The day had been even hotter. Even the beer was warm. It was Kitty Russell's first summer in Kansas. She found it no better than Texas, and missed the cool sea breezes that both New Orleans and Galveston could provide from time to time. She has been working since early afternoon and was just coming down the stairs after her supper break when she noticed Matt Dillon leaning against the railing at the bottom of the stairs chatting with several ranchers. She moved over to his side of the stairway and trailed a hand across the back of his broad shoulders as she took the last few steps.
Matt's eyes widened as he turned around at Kitty's touch. Instead of the short, low cut gowns she usually wore to work, the dress she was wearing revealed both more and less. Her simple black silk skirt fell all the way to the floor, but the top of the gown barely skimmed the curves of her full breasts leaving her arms, shoulders, and most of her chest and back bare. It was beautiful. It was elegant, and it made him desperately want to take it off of her. He smiled, but couldn't even manage his usual comment about how pretty she looked tonight. He swallowed hard and tried unsuccessfully to keep the lust from his eyes.
Kitty laughed, knowing she was the center of not only Matt's attention, but that of nearly every man in the room. "You like my new dress, Marshal?" she asked. He considered that for a moment, "I'm not sure like is the right word, Kitty."
Kitty made her way to the bar, and Matt followed her. "Buy you a beer? I warn you, it's warm."
"Thanks, it's been warm all day, but at least it's wet," she replied. "Wish I could think of some way to cool off."
Matt's eyes lit. "When do you get off work, Kitty?"
"I've got two more hours, Matt. I get off at ten."
"I could bring a buggy around back and we could head down to Carter's Creek. Water's nice and cool and I know a place where it's deep enough to swim."
Kitty couldn't quite believe what she heard. She'd been waiting for a private invitation from Matt Dillon for months now, and had nearly given up hope. She leaned in towards him and spoke softly, almost in his ear, "You askin' me to go skinny dippin' with you, Matt?"
"I most certainly am. You want to come?"
"Ten o'clock at the back door." she said, "I'll be waiting."
Kitty was indeed waiting for him when he drove up to the back door of the Long Branch. She still wore the black dress, but her hair was braided into a tight tail down her back, and she carried a small cloth bundle. He gave her a hand into the buggy, and set off south out of town. "What you got there, Kitty?"
"Couple of towels, for after," she replied. She gestured to the back of the buggy. "What you got there, Matt?"
"Couple of blankets, for after," he told her, grinning. He liked the way she laughed at that, and the way she took his arm and pressed close to him, her bare arms and shoulders against him.
They drove in silence through the hot night. Kitty kept thinking of things to say, and then not wanting to say them. She chided herself for actually feeling shy. This was something she'd surely wanted, surely did want, and it wasn't as if she didn't know what to do. Finally, nearly there, she settled for, "I'm glad I'm here, Matt."
He let out a full breath, as if he'd been holding it since they left Dodge. "I was beginning to wonder if you were having second thoughts, Kitty," he said. "I want this, and I want you, but if you decide you'd rather not, then you just have to tell me, honey."
She laid her cheek against his arm, despite the heat. Soon Matt drew up the buggy in a grove of cottonwoods near the creek. She could hear the running water, and it already seemed cooler. Matt set the brake and then helped her down from the buggy, but didn't offer the kiss that she looked for. He reached in to pick up the blankets, and her small parcel of towels. "Let me get the horse set, and scout around to be sure we're alone."
Kitty smiled in the darkness. "I don't think I'd want to be interrupted," she agreed. She walked a few paces towards the sound of the water and found a little clearing where the nearly full moon shown down and lighted a grassy bank. She sat down and shed her shoes and stockings and, pulling up her skirts, dunked her feet into the cool water. It felt better than anything had all day. She heard Matt behind her and turned to see him spreading a blanket over the grass behind her. She caught her breath as he toed off his boots and unconcernedly stripped off his clothes. The sight of him standing casually naked set her heart racing. She hadn't known quite what to expect, but this wasn't it. Suddenly, she didn't feel like the tough young woman who 'handled' all sorts of men in all sorts of situations.
"You need help with that dress?" he asked.
She stood up. "I do. It's fitted tight so it will stay up, and I can't fasten or unfasten it myself – one of the other girls has to help me." She turned her back to him and he began slowly unhooking her. She took a deep breath when he was done, deeper than the dress had allowed, and then slowly turned to face him, her hands holding the bodice to her chest. He waited. She let the dress go and it fell in a pool of blackness around her ankles. She was naked underneath it. "I figured if we got this far, I wanted to be sure you wouldn't chicken out."
Matt wasn't sure he knew how to breathe. The sight of her pale skin – all that skin – in the white moonlight nearly did him in. She was more beautiful than he had possibly imagined, and he'd been imagining for months now. He felt himself rising just from looking at her, and saw her eyes move down to look at him. Saw her eyes widen a little. He reached out for her hand, "Come in the water, Kitty. That's what we came for."
"That's not what I came for, Matt," she said.
He chuckled, "Well, no, me neither, but it will make a good start."
She took his hand and stepped away from the pile of fabric settled around her feet. He led her to the bank and jumped in. The water came up nearly to his chest. He reached up and put his hands on her waist, swinging her down into the cool water beside him before he took her in his arms and kissed her. As first kisses go, it stood out above the rest. So did he. She felt his hot hardness pressing against her belly, despite the cool water that surrounded them. Her hands moved down to touch and stroke him. She hadn't been imagining the size of him. But then, she thought, what would I expect from a man so big in every other way. His hands nearly spanned her waist as he gently moved her back a pace. "We don't need to hurry, Kitty, and if you do that it's going to be over a lot sooner than I want."
She looked up at him. She almost couldn't remember when any man had wanted more from her than to take her as quickly as he could. She felt tears rising in her eyes, and that was not at all something for him to see, so she dropped into the water, letting it hold her up as she floated on her back. He dove underneath her, coming up on the other side. The water was deeper in the middle, away from the bank. She put her feet down but couldn't feel the bottom. She laid back again, looking up at the stars.
"Where'd you learn to swim?" he asked, standing next to her, the water up almost to his shoulders. She felt his hands under her, stroking along her back and bottom.
"In the ocean. Gulf of Mexico. We'd go on picnics to the beach when I was a little girl. The Mississippi was too dirty – muddy and you never knew what trash – but the ocean was clean once you got away from the city a little. You?"
"There's lakes up in the mountains. New Mexico. Colorado. I saw Lake Tahoe once – up in the Sierras west of Virginia City. Coldest water I ever felt in my life. Like swimming in snow."
She rolled over and dived down. Her hair was soaked anyway. Tried to come up behind him but couldn't see in the dark water and ended coming up right against him, skin to skin. The kiss was even better this time – hot flesh and cool water – her arms twined around his neck. When they broke apart for breath she pushed him hard, dunking him under the water, and swam away. That led to more play, more splashing, more dunking, and a little more ease with their nakedness. Finally, standing near the bank, she said, "I wouldn't have thought, an hour ago, that I could say this, but I'm gettin' cold."
Matt stepped easily up onto a side of the bank that seemed an impossible height to her and reached down to take both her hands and lift her out. They stood together, still holding hands, in the warm night. "Matt?"
"Yes, Kitty?"
"I'm not trying to back out, Matt. I want you. Oh, I do want you! But, I don't know how to do this." She looked up into his face. "It's been too long since I've been with anyone who wanted me, Kitty, not just a body in a room and it didn't matter who. I don't know how to do this for real. Will you show me?"
"Let's see if we can figure that out together, Kitty." He led her back to where the blankets were spread and picked up the towels she had brought, handed her one, and then began drying her off with another. He unfastened the tie at the end of her braid and spread her wet hair across her back, rubbing water out of it section by section. She turned to face him and dried off his chest and arms, but, when she reached behind him to rub the towel over his back, her breasts, nipples taught from the cold water, grazed against his chest and it was too much for both of them.
They were down on the blankets, holding, rolling, touching, kissing, mouths open and tongues searching deeply. She felt his hand reaching between her legs, feeling for a wetness that had nothing to do with the water they'd been swimming in. He stroked up with his hand and heard her gasp, felt her hips buck hard against him. Matt buried his head against her breasts, licking and sucking her hard nipples. He knew he wasn't going to be able to last much longer, whether he entered her or not, and he tried to sit up, to pull back a little and calm down, but suddenly she was under him her legs around his waist, open and wet and there was no way to stop. He tried to go slowly, but that didn't work either and she pushed herself against him, matching his rhythm with her own. He moved his hands down to cradle her round bottom, lifted her against him, and came shatteringly hard into the softness of her.
There was silence and the sound of their breathing, fast and then slower. Eventually she unclasped her legs and let him go, lying back and looking at the star studded darkness above them. Matt moved off of her, noticing the small sound, almost a whimper, as he slipped out of her and lay down by her side. He didn't try to caress her, there would be time for that later, just lay beside her in the stillness of the night, his arm cushioning her head, not knowing what to say.
It was cooler there by the stream, and she shivered a little as the breeze dried the sweat from her body. She moved closer and lay her head on his shoulder, felt his arms come up to hold her. "I'm sorry, Kitty. I didn't mean it to be like that, so fast. Just lie still with me here a while. We'll make it better."
She did lie still. Thinking about his apology. She tried to remember if anyone had ever said anything like that to her before. She knew what he was saying. She wanted to tell him it didn't matter – and truly, she thought, it didn't – but she had been more aroused than anytime she could remember since, well, since those first days with Cole. She hadn't had a lover, a real lover, in years. She didn't know what to say, or what words to use if she did say something – she certainly didn't want to use the vulgar words that were the first that came into her mind, or the more technical ones that she'd learned early on in New Orleans. She didn't know anything in between. So she used her body instead, cuddling against him, turning her face to kiss his chest, humming in her throat like a purring cat.
Slowly Matt relaxed. He felt more need for words than he usually did. He wanted Kitty to know that he'd tried, that the pull of her body had been too much for him, but he didn't quite know how to speak those feelings. He made an attempt. "Kitty, I haven't been with a woman in quite a while. I wanted to wait for you, I tried. It was just too much for me. I've been thinking about you, imagining you, practically since I first met you. I wanted it to be perfect."
Kitty sat up, turning to face him. "Are you apologizing to me, Matt Dillon? For what we just did? You trying to tell me it wasn't good enough?"
He pulled her back into his arms. "Honey, you do know what I'm sayin' and don't pretend you don't. I can't imagine anything better than what we just did. For me. I just wanted it to be for both of us, and I feel like I didn't do a very good job with that."
Kitty thought of a lot of things to say, and finally settled for the truth. "Matt, you might be asking me for more than I can do. I've spent years, well, separating myself from what I do with men. I don't want it to be personal. I don't want it to be real." She stopped, hiding her face from him, "Matt, I don't know if I can give you what you want. I want to, but I don't know if I can anymore. Can you deal with having, maybe, a little less?"
He sat up, putting her on his lap and rocking her gently. "How about we just agree to practice some? See if we can make it right for both of us? Lots of things take practice to get them right. You want to try again?"
"Now? Tonight? But…"
"We'll start with you this time, honey, and then by the time you're all set, I bet I'll be ready to come along for the ride."
He started with just stroking her back, soothing her like he would a skittery young horse. He kissed her lips, just her lips, and her face, and then, slowly, her neck. He felt her begin to relax, but it was a long time before he laid her down beside him and started caressing her breasts. He could tell when it began for her – her relaxation turning to tension, her hips moving in tiny thrusts and swirls against him, her mouth on his neck and then searching for his. They kissed a long time, deeply, sucking on lips and tongues, he kept his hands moving on her breasts concentrating now on her hard nipples, squeezing and pinching, rubbing them with his palms. When she did reach down for him she found him hard and smooth, just a little sticky from before, but he took her hands and moved them up to his chest. "Nope. Not this time. You wait your turn."
"Matt," she whispered, drawing out the word, "I want you. Please. I want you in me."
He chuckled against her throat, "Pretty soon now" and kissed her neck again, careful despite his rising passion, not to leave marks. At last he lay back and held her hips to move her up to straddle him, gasping but determined as her wetness caressed him. No longer passive she lifted herself to sheathe him inside her, taking it slowly, moving against him different ways. "Is that good, Kitty? Is that what you want?"
"Mmm hmm." was the only answer he got as he pulled her down against his chest. "Move your legs down lower, outside of mine." He pushed his hands against her thighs and she obeyed, gasping as it increased the pressure where she rubbed against him.
"Matt, I can't…" suddenly her hips were frantic, her eyes closed, her breathing harsh.
"Of course you can, honey." He whispered encouragement and pushed hard against the base of her spine using his other hand to stroke her bottom. "You couldn't stop now if you tried." And he was right. It wasn't smooth and easy, but it was hard and lasted longer than she thought possible, falling and then rising again. She collapsed against him. She knew she wasn't supposed to do that. She'd been trained better than that, but she didn't care. And Matt, free at last to find his own release held her waist in his broad hands and let himself thrust into her with abandon for all too short a time.
She lay on top of him and he held her there, both arms around her. He felt her tiny giggle as eventually, he softened and slipped slowly out of her. "It tickles." She whispered into his neck. He turned on his side then, still holding her, her body utterly soft and relaxed within his arms.
"Matt?"
"Hmm?"
"Do we still get to practice?"
"Oh, yes indeed, we definitely get to practice. More. A lot more."
"Good." She was asleep as she said the word. He lay and watched the moon sink and the stars move above him. He thought about being happy, about what they had done, and how much he wanted to do it again. He thought about what he had to say to her on the way home, and hoped she could live with it, hoped she would want to make the effort. He thought with not a little anger of the life she led – forced to sell what should be given – and with sadness that he didn't know any way to save her from that. He gave her about an hour and then kissed her awake.
"Kitty, we have to go."
Her eyes fluttered and she cuddled closer to him. "Why?" she murmured.
"I have to be on the road at dawn, honey, and I'm barely going to get you back to town before that."
"Oh." She sat up. "The trial in Garden City. Jim Barkley?"
"He's counting on me to speak for him, Kitty. It could mean his life."
"Well, of course!" she yawned. "You shouldn't have let me sleep so long." She stretched and stood up, pale in the moonlight. "Give me just a minute to wash, and then you'll need to hook me back into that dress." She grabbed up one of the towels and went down into the creek again, standing in the shallow water to wash, crouching to sluice water between her legs. She climbed out and dried herself then brought him the wet towel. "You'd better do this yourself. If I start washing you, we might be here until Tuesday."
While he washed her off of him, she put on her shoes and stockings and then pulled the black dress up around her, settling her breasts into the bodice. He stood behind her, fastening the hooks, and then went to where his own clothes were piled and dressed quickly. They shook out and folded the blankets and he took them back to the buggy where the horse stood sleeping between the shafts. Matt handed her in and then turned the horse around and joined her on the seat as they headed back towards town.
He wanted to wait, but he couldn't. There was only half an hour and a lot to say. "Kitty? I need to talk to you. Can you be awake for me?"
"I'm awake, Matt. I know what you want to say."
"How could you know?" he asked, mystified. "What do you think I want to tell you?"
"You want to tell me that I have to keep this a secret, that I can't make a claim on your time, that I can't tell anyone we were together. That I can't let the respectable citizens of Dodge City know their Marshal spent time with a girl from the Long Branch saloon."
"Kitty, I don't think I deserve that from you."
"Isn't that what you want to say, Matt?"
"No, Kitty, it's not. Well, some of the things I want you to do are the same, but the reasons aren't what you said." He held his peace for a minute or two. She didn't comment, and he went on, "Kitty I don't want to see you hurt. You know there are men who come to town just itching to bring me down. I don't want one of those men hurting you because it's a way to hurt me."
"Oh." It was all she said for some time. "You're not ashamed of being with me?"
"No Kitty, I'm not. I'd like to go back and tell everyone we know. I'd like to see the smile on Doc's face, and watch Chester blush. I'd like to wipe the silly grins off the other girls at the Long Branch and get them to stop trying to trip me up those stairs and into their beds. Most of all I'd like to see you safe somewhere that you didn't need to ever give yourself to a man unless it was what you wanted." He stopped, but eventually went on, "But if I did that, it would put you in danger. Kitty, if we're going to continue to be with each other, and I want that more than I know how to say, we have to agree to keep this part of our lives private. I can't risk someone hurting you."
"But if we keep quiet, just go on being friends like we've been before, then we can still see each other sometimes, be with each other," she grinned, "get a little more practice?"
"I hate to ask this of you, Kitty, but that's the way it has to be. Can you do that?" Matt asked.
"If I'm doing it for the right reasons, then I guess I can, Matt. I don't have to like it, but I guess I can do it."
They drove in silence for a while. The town rose in front of them across the prairie. "Matt?"
"Hmm?"
"Thank you."
"Kitty, you've given me so much. What do you possibly have to thank me for?"
"Well, for one thing, you didn't tear my new dress. And for another, well, I'll just let you think on that while you're riding out to Garden City. Maybe we'll talk about it when you get back. If we can find a time and a place."
"There'll always be a time and a place, Kitty, we may just have to look pretty hard to find them. Kitty, can I ask you something?"
"You can ask, Matt."
"Are you happy we did this?"
"Oh, yes. Oh yes indeed I am. Are you?"
"Yes, sweetheart. I am."