Fives Reasons

Disclaimer: New Tricks doesn't belong to me. It just followed me home, Honest!

This is a little one shot inspired by tonights episode 'sins of the father', Strickland playing Rugby fives kinda got stuck in my head.

Rated M for swearing and mature situations.

A bit angsty with a very sexy ending. Don't like, don't read. Sandland

/

BANG! Sandra could hear the thudding as she approached the court.

BANG! She was still shaking from the events of this afternoon, first Jack, now Brian. Everything was falling apart around her.

BANG! She had no idea why she was here. To be honest he was the last person she wanted to see.

BANG! Steve and Gerry had gone off to get pissed in some seedy strip bar. She needed to talk to someone, to vent.

BANG! She got to the door and eased it open, slipping inside. Bang, she watched as he smashed the ball against the wall opposite, it rebounded with force, he smashed it again, his face was full of fury, a seething anger which actually scared her.

"Sir." She tried to get his attention. He let the ball bounce of the back wall and caught it in his gloved hand.

"There's nothing I can do. It's gone too far this time." He peeled off his sweatshirt. His black t-shirt stuck to his damp body. He took a swig from a water bottle, throwing it back down by his bag before re-launching the ball. He smashed it against the wall as if he was trying to drive it through the building. Sandra stooped down and stood the bottle up.

"Sir." She tried to get his attention again. "SIR!"

"What?" He bellowed, making her take a step back. "What do you want from me? I can't help him this time. He knew what he was doing."

"I know." She whispered. "I don't know why I came. I was told you were here, Sorry, I'll leave you to smash seven bells out of that ball." She turned to leave.

"It helps me to cope, gives me an outlet for my hate." She heard him, his voice low.

"Hate. I've never taken you for a hater." He grimaced, and served the ball.

BANG! "I hate being taken for a fool!"

BANG! "I hate miscarriages of justice!"

BANG! "I hate corrupt copper's who think they can use the law as a personal plaything!"

BANG! "I hate having to be the fucking bad guy all the time!"

BANG! "I fucking hate the fact that after all these years, you still don't fucking see me!" She had never seen him like this. He was angry, out of control. The ball rebounded and narrowly missed her, he put his foot on the pool of water which had leaked from his bottle when it had been laid down, his trainer slipped from underneath him and his knee buckled, he hit the floor of the court with a thud.

She watched as he lay there on his back, his chest rising and falling as he tried to get his breathing under control, he had one arm draped across his face, the other lay by his side. She move over next to him and knelt down.

"Are you alright?" She asked quietly, he nodded.

"Why are you here, why arn't you with your team. discussing what a complete bastard I am."

"You didn't have a choice, I know that. I'm not here to blame you. I suppose I needed to talk to somebody who knows what UCOS means to me."

He sat up and leaned against his bag, swigging from the water. She sat down next to him, her knees pulled up to her chest, her arms wrapped around them as if she was trying to protect herself. "It's all falling apart." She whispered.

"Tell me?"

"Jack's gone. No word nothing, it's like he's just vanished from the face of the earth. Brian's on this voyage of self destruction. Gerry and Steve seem to be best mates, I sometimes wonder that if Steve decided to go back to Glasgow, Gerry might go as well. I don't think Gerry would stay here anyway. It's like today, I needed someone to talk to, but there was nobody. What's left?"

"Me."

"Pardon" She had been taken by surprise. She looked across at him. The anger has dissapated, but had left an air of dejection in it's place.

"There's me. I know I'm not much, certainly nothing compared to your team, but as long as you need someone, I'll be here." He looked down at the floor. "If you want that is."

"I don't know what you mean."

"I know. That's the problem. You don't see me, you see a politically motivated, public school ponce. Someone to run to when the shit hits the fan, and avoid like the plague the rest of the time. I'm the one you resort to when there is no-one else." He went quiet. Sandra stared at him in shock. It was as if he had also reached some kind of breaking point.

"I do see you." She told him. "You're not a last resort."

"Then have dinner with me." He fixed her with his intense blue eyes.

"I... Um..." She was unable to link two words together. Her mind was in turmoil. He smiled wryly.

"That's why I stopped asking. I got tired of you looking at me like I was something you had stuck to the bottom of your shoe." He stood and started smashing the ball against the wall again. She watched in opened mouthed shock, tears running down her cheeks.

"How long?"

BANG! "How long what?"

"How long have I made you feel like that?"

BANG! "Since the first time we met. When you gave your team that 'what an arsehole' look."

"You never said anything."

BANG! "Like what? 'Please stop treating me like a piece of shit, it hurts my feelings.'"

"You can be difficult sometimes, you know." She tried to reason.

BANG! "If you keep kicking a dog, eventually it'll turn around and bite you." BANG! "Maybe I'm tired of being your dog."

"STOP IT! Just stop hitting that fucking ball for a minute!" She practically screamed. He let the ball drop and turned to her, the fury back in his eyes. But when he saw her tear stained cheeks, the anger fled and was replaced with guilt and remorse. He pulled the gloves from his hands and dropped them where he stood, he rushed over to her and pulled her into his embrace. He felt her knees go and lowered them both to the court floor. She sat slumped, her legs curled up underneath her, her control had gone and she was sobbing uncontrolably into his chest. He knelt next to her his arms wrapped around her protectivly. He rested his head on top of hers.

"Shit! I'm sorry. Please, I didn't mean to vent on you." He could feel her shaking, the sobs wracking her body. He kissed the top of her head. "Please, I'm sorry. Shhhhh, Don't cry. I'm not worth it."

Through the fog of her despair she could hear him, but those last four words were like a slap to her cheek. 'I'm not worth it' even now she was taking from him. She had turned up here looking to ease her mind, but had only succeeded in pushing her unflappable boss to breaking point. And here he was trying to give her comfort. 'I'm not worth it' had he always felt like that, or had she made him believe that about himself?

She pulled away and looked him in the face. His eyes were full of such pain it ripped into her insides and made her feel sick to the stomach. But worse than the pain, was the love which she could see as she gazed into the dark blue pools.

"Why me?" She managed to ask, her throat dry. "Why do you let what I think affect you so much. I'm nothing special..." She felt him tense. He placed his hands on either side of her face.

"Sandra Pullman, you are the most incredible woman I have ever met. Why do you think I've stayed here so long. I've passed up two promotions to Assistant Commissioner so that I could stay near you. I don't care that you never noticed me, I don't care that you can't stand to be in the same room as me. It's enough for me to see you each day. I would rather live in the shadows of your life than in the sunshine of anybody else's. I know that may sound creepy, but the difference between me and some kind of obsessed stalker is that, until now, you never knew how much I love you. But I would never try to force you to love me, or even like me. And if you are uncomfortable with me being around now that you know, I can be out of your life in an instant. I have been targeted by Thames Valley for years, and they have told me that any time I want to transfer, I just have to let them know and they'll organise it." He dropped his gaze, unable to look into her eyes. He couldn't stand to see the disgust they would show now that she knew how pathetic he was.

"You'll leave? If I just tell you to. You'll pack up and go. Just like that." He nodded.

"If that's what you want." He closed his eyes. He knew it, it was over, she wouldn't want him around now, not even in a professional capacity. He dropped his hands and moved away, sure that she would be revolted by his presence. He turned and started to put his gear back into his bag. He couldn't look at her, couldn't risk every shred of his dreams being torn into a thousand pieces. If he left now, maybe with a little dignity still in place, he could pretend that some part of her could still care, maybe.

"What would you do? Just be a policeman in another county?"

"That's all I am. There is nothing else." He closed the zipper on the bag. He was about to sling it over his shoulder when he felt a soft touch on his shoulder.

"I don't want you to go." Her voice was quiet. He looked up in surprise. "I can't lose you too." She wrapped her arms around his waist, resting her head on his chest. He hesitated before returning the embrace.

"Please don't hate me." He breathed against her hair. She stood back, a look of incredulity on her face.

"Hate you? You've just proclaimed your love for me, admitted that you scuppered your career to stay close to me, then offered to uproot and leave on my say so. How could I hate you? You are right, I never noticed you, I never saw how much I was hurting you, and for that I am sorry. I let the predjudice of the others rub off on me and never gave you the chance to show me who you are. I only saw the political prat. Can you ever forgive me for that."

"I already have." He smiled shyly. "And I will be there whenever you need me. Even if I am the last resort."

"I need you now."

"I'm here." He pulled her close.

"No, you don't understand. I need you. Now!" Understanding dawned on his face, a blush crept up his cheeks. "I need to feel alive."

"Are you sure. I don't want you to feel you have to..to... out of guilt."

"It's got nothing to do with guilt. I finally see you. Maybe properly for the first time."

"Here?"

"The place is deserted, they were all going home when I arrived. They asked that I turn the lights off and clip up the padlock on the way out." She caressed his face, tracing the light stubble with her fingertips. "It's just us." He smiled and ran his hands up her back.

"Let's not waste any time then. I may wake up and find this is all a dream." The blue of his eyes had deepened, he leaned forward and pressed his lips against hers, softly at first, as though he was scared she would break, she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, her hands tangling in his hair, she pushed her lips into his, using her tongue to tempt him into deepening the contact. Before long they were locked together, their tongues dancing. She grabbed the hem of his t-shirt and pulled it up, only breaking contact with his lips long enough to pull it up over his head. He opened his bag and pulled a folded towel out. He spread it out on the floor, and rolled up his sweatshirt, placing it down as a pillow.

"How romantic." Sandra smiled. Robert laughed.

"Not exactly a four poster, but it's the best I can do at short notice I'm afraid."

"There's time for romance later. At this moment, I just want you."

He ran his hands through her hair, letting the golden strands run through his fingers like silk, before claiming her lips. They made their way down to the towel where she kicked off her shoes. Rob made light work of the fastening of her black trousers, pushing them and her underwear down, she helped him wriggle them down and off. He returned to her lips, bracing himself on one hand, he ran the other up under her blouse, caressing her breasts through her bra. She ran her hands down the contours of his strong back, down to the waistband of his track bottoms, she slipped her hands inside, squeezing his ass. He ran his hand down her body, down to her centre, he slipped his middle finger into her folds, she arched her back as he slid the digit inside her, then started to moan as he started to work the finger in and out, using his thumb on her most sensitive spot, then added another, teasing her sweet spot until she cried out against his lips.

"Oh yes! God yes! She clutched at his back as a thousand fireworks went off behind her eyes. As she came back down, she looked straight into his eyes. He smiled. She hooked her thumbs over the band of his trousers and pushed them and his shorts down past his hips, freeing him, she ran her hand along his length. He sighed and closed his eyes.

"I havn't got anything." He whispered. She understood what he meant.

"It's alright, you don't need any protection." She opened her thighs as he settled himself over her, bracing his weight on one hand, while he guided his length to her opening with the other. He moved his hands so he was braced on both and started to push forward, sheathing himself inside her. he let out the breath he had been holding, closing his eyes, he bit his lip. She took his face in her hands, concern mixed with the ecstacy. He smiled.

"I'm not going to last, It's been too long."

"Then don't. I'm ready."

He started to thrust, trying to keep the pace slow and steady, but he soon felt the start of his climax and started to pound at her, frantic and furious, it should have been painfull, but Sandra could feel herself going over the edge again, she encouraged him to go faster, harder, her nails dug into his back, drawing blood. He cried out and emptied into her, pushing her over with him. They clung to each other as they came back down. Robert rolled to the side, taking her with him so that she was lying on his chest, his arms wrapped around her, he whispered soothingly in her ear as she shuddered against him. His heart was still thudding in his chest, and his breathing hard, as he struggled to regain control of both.

She finally regained control of her muscles and was able to raise her head, she recaptured his lips, kissing him hard.

"That was intense." She breathed, as she drew away, the cool air of the evening reminding her that she was half naked, Robert smiled as he pulled his trousers back up. He looked around and found his discarded shirt, pulling it on over his head, he retreived her trousers, and helped her dress.

"Let me take you home." He broke the silence as he put everything in his bag.

"Your place or mine?"

"Mine's closer." He smiled. She looked down, Robert pulled her into his arms. "What? Please, tell me."

"I'm going to miss him. That stupid bloody northerner, why did he go and have to do something so idiotic?"

"I'm sorry. I really didn't have a choice, especially as he showed no remorse. If he'd have said it was a spur of the moment thing, or a loss of judgement I may have been able to call in some favours. But his stuborn insistance that he's going to see this through, left me with no option."

"I know. I don't blame you, not for one moment. I saw you give him every chance to save himself. He knew exactly what he was doing."

"I still feel guilty."

"I'm still going to miss him though."

"He's not gone. You can still see him, be his friend. I can keep him from the building, but not your life, and I'd never even try to. A part of me hopes he forgives me, I liked Brian, I'd still like to call him a friend."

She smiled and kissed him on the cheek.

"Take me home. As much as I enjoyed what we just did, the concrete floor of a sports hall gets pretty cold in the evening." He laughed.

"Well, I have a super king size bed, and a double size bath."

"That sounds infinately more romantic." She paused. "Do you think UCOS will survive?"

"Absolutely. What you have built will last for years, and just because Brian doesn't work for the met any more, doesn't mean you can't still make use of his knowledge. I for one will have no objection if you occassionaly contract out for experts. And lets face it, Brian's an expert on pretty much everything."

"Robert. I've been blind over the years, but ... I love you!" He flicked off the light on the court and padlocked the door, before offering her his arm.

"I love you. Always have, Always will. No matter what the future brings."

/

End