Impending Silence
This does not take place along any particular time line.
Again, I do not own CSI, or the characters (well, except the couple I made up). I just enjoy writing about them.
Gil Grissom stood at the kitchen window, staring out at the rain that pummeled the backyard. He was sipping his coffee, watching as the sidewalk became transformed into a small river when he heard shuffling from behind him.
Turning around, he saw his small daughter stumble into the kitchen rubbing her eyes with a tiny little hand. She wore her favorite pink Disney Princess nightgown and drug along behind her Zoe, her stuffed rabbit. Audriana Janelle Grissom was the near image of her mother, with the exact chocolate brown eyes and perfectly pouty lips. She did, however, have her father's curls in her dark brown hair and a perfect little dimple on her chin.
"Hey, Sweety." Gil greeted, going over to scoop her up in his arms. He gave her a hug, kissing her soft cheek; she smelled like toothpaste and fabric softener. "Good morning...would you like some breakfast?"
She nodded as she yawned and Gil sat her on the counter, where she immediately proceeded to kick her little legs back and forth. He got her a glass of apple juice and handed her the cup. "Where is Mommy?"
"She's gettin' Alex." Kick, kick, kick. "He gots a cough and Mr. Biggles is sick." She took a drink of the juice, pressing her eye to the edge of the plastic cup to examine the contents as she kicked her feet.
Gil nodded. When the twins were born, Audriana came first and had come out kicking; the ultimate sign of health. Their tiny son, Alexander James, had not been quite as lucky. The smallest of the two weighing barely over 4 pounds, he had been rushed immediately to the neonatal care unit and had suffered infections his entire short life. It seemed to Gil as though his son had spent more time in the doctor's office than out playing in the sun.
The discovery of Sara's pregnancy had been a shock for both of them. They had been married only six months and had made the decision to discontinue birth control so that they could try for a child in a year. Two months after making that decision, Sara had become pregnant and three months after that, they had discovered they were having twins. Nick had told them that for two people who had taken so long to get together, they were making up for lost time pretty quickly.
Gil had just finished putting a bowl of oatmeal (complete with fresh strawberries, cream, and some toast shaped like Mickey Mouse) in front of his daughter at the table, when Sara came down with their son in her arms, his head snuggled against her neck. Where Audriana was a near miniature replica of Sara, Alexander carried the traits of his father, down to the brilliant blue eyes and dimpled chin. The only variation was the lack of curls in his light brown hair.
"Hey." Gil greeted, kissing Sara softly before brushing his hand gently over Alex's hair. "How's he doing?" He kissed Alex, who snuggled closer to Sara.
"Mr. Biggles feels icky." Alex mumbled against his mother's skin, holding out a dark blue dog for his father to examine. "He gots a sore ache."
Gil took the dog. Both of his children's favorite objects had been gifts to them after their birth from Catherine, and both of his children refused to do a thing without them. He examined it seriously, holding it next to his ear to listen to the ache. For Alex, a 'sore ache' meant that his chest hurt and having one was a good indication of an oncoming infection.
"He's pretty scratchy this morning." Sara told him as she sat Alex at the table with his sister. "He has an earache so I gave him some Tylenol and I'll have Lindsey keep an eye on it today. She can call us if there is a problem."
She looked over at Gil who continued to check the stuffed animal over. He glanced at Sara and winked, making her smile. "Did you give Mr. Biggles some Tylenol?"
"Yes, I did and he spit it all over me." She responded, causing both of the children to giggle.
Gil went to his son as Sara poured herself coffee and prepared him some oatmeal. He placed his hand on Alex's forehead, feeling the slight warmth there and looked down at him, noting that his skin was paler than usual. Alex was, indeed, a tiny little person. Where his sister was growing at a normal pace, Alex lagged behind and was much smaller than the average two-year-old, seeming to spend most of his time just trying to catch up. He knelt in front of him to tweak his nose. "Well," He told him as he handed Mr. Biggles back. "Keep an eye on him today."
Sara had given birth to the twins during her 36th week of pregnancy. She had spent the previous few weeks at home, directed to bed rest, after having been diagnosed with preeclampsia. She had been fairly healthy the entire pregnancy, taking extra care of herself and continuing with a regular exercise regime that included a two-mile walk each day with Gil or Catherine; or both. Despite her attempts to stay healthy, she had become violently ill at work during her seventh month and spent a few days at the hospital before being sent home to wait for the twins' arrival. When her water broke a few short weeks later, Gil had rushed home from work to take her into the hospital, where she immediately underwent an emergency C-Section. And, although Audriana had been perfectly healthy, Alexander had aspired a mixture of amniotic fluid and meconium, developing a lung infection that had plagued him to this day.
He was in the laboratory, discussing some findings with Greg when his phone rang.
"Grissom." He said into the receiver, not having paid attention to who the caller was.
"Something's wrong with Alex." Lindsey said in a hurried voice.
"What is it?" He asked, knowing that sometimes Lindsey would freak out about small things, like the time that Audrey jumped off of the couch and scratched her elbow and the girl was convinced that she'd need emergency surgery or something.
"I think he has an ear infection." She told him. "He was crying because his ears hurt, but he doesn't have a fever or anything."
"Did you give him some Tylenol?" He asked, going through the list of reasons in his head.
"I tried, but he won't answer me when I call him." She replied. "I mean, it is like he can't hear me or something but I took his fever and it is okay so I don't know what to do...I tried to call Sara but I think she's in class and..."
"Lindsey," He interrupted. "If you look at him, will he answer you?"
There was a pause. "Yeah..." She said. "But he keeps telling me to talk and not just move my lips...Uncle Gil, I am talking..."
Gil felt the panic begin in his stomach. The doctors had told them that one, or both, of their children could develop signs of the genetic otosclerosis that Gil had but he had hoped that it would never happen to them. Alex had been plagued with ear infections and had always seemed somewhat clumsier than Audrey, but each check by the doctor yielded no sign of the disease. He and Sara were still waiting for the appointment with the specialist to tell them that differently; they had wanted a second opinion.
"Okay." He sighed into the phone. "I'll be there in a few minutes."
He carried Alex into the doctor's office, feeling the warmth of his son's breath against his neck. Lindsey had stayed at the house with Audrey and he had placed a call to Sara to let her know what was going on. He'd had to leave a message, of course, knowing that she was still in class.
He had arrived at the house to find the twins busy coloring, drawing pictures of the rain that fell outside. Audrey had proudly shown her father a picture that she claimed was a fish; to Gil it looked like a pink blood smear with blue scribbles. He told her it was lovely and asked that she hang it on the refrigerator alongside some of their other artwork. Alex lay on his stomach in the middle of the living room, scribbling determinedly on a large piece of paper as his tiny legs kicked back and forth.
Gil called out to him and he didn't respond at first, so Gil repeated his name. Alex looked up and grinned madly as he jumped up off of the floor, rushing into Gil's arms excitedly. "I drew Daddy!" He told him as he squirmed to get back down. Gil placed him back on the floor and he ran over to the drawing, bringing to Gil.
Gil observed it, noting the dark green blob in the middle with a yellow spike above it. There were blue scribbles all around it and something that looked like a gray puff in the corner. "That's daddy." Alex said, pointing to the green blob. "See? It's raining."
Gil nodded. "What is this?" He asked, pointing to the yellow spike.
"Daddy, that's your hat!" Alex responded gleefully. Gil smiled down at him, deciding that he would take this picture to work and hang it in the office.
Lindsey observed them a moment before speaking. "I swear, Uncle Gil." She said in exasperation. "He couldn't hear me today. He thought I was playing, right Alex?"
The little boy did not respond his concentration still on his father and his picture. Gil furrowed his eyebrows at him. "Call him again."
"Alex?" Lindsey tried, again getting no response."Hey Alex..."
Gil kneeled down in front of Alex to look him in the eye. "Alex, did you hear Lindsey call your name?"
"And there's clouds." Alex said, as if not hearing Gil's words. "BIG clouds."
"Alex." Gil tried again, "Can you hear what I am saying to you?"
Alex giggled. "I like this game..."
Gil looked up at Lindsey, who had bent down to pick up Audrey. "What game, Alex?" He said loudly.
Alex giggled again, cupping his hands on both sides of Gil's face. "When you do this..." and he made movements with his mouth, no sound emerging, as though he were a fish.
And that is when Gil knew; his son was going deaf.
Surgery.
All of the signs had been there: clumsiness, recurring earaches but no infection, inattentiveness when spoken to at times. Sara had thought it was typical for a two-year-old boy. She had been told by the doctor time and time again that he would eventually outgrow it
No one ever prepared her for this.
There was no way she wanted someone to cut into her little boy; no way.
They discussed their options with his doctor; the same doctor who said he was fine, he would 'outgrow it'. After Gil had taken him to that initial appointment, they had been sent to a specialist; even Alex's doctor could see that something just wasn't right with their little boy
They were told it had to be done "as soon as possible" and Gil told them how odd it was that they managed to speed things along when they failed to help him the first time.
The specialist told them that Alex could be fitted with specialized hearing aids to assist him in hearing until he was older and the disease had progressed. Sara thought it was a reasonable option, anything to keep him from having surgery. Gil, however, said no. He felt it was best to do the surgery now, while Alex was young, and give him every opportunity to have a normal life. Gil did not want his son to grow up in silence, he did not want him to never know what the ocean sounded like, what birds sounded like...what sound sounded like.
Sara had conceded; after all, Gil had been through this already and he could hear just fine now. She trusted her husband and knew that he wouldn't subject either of their children to anything that could harm them. And so she had agreed reluctantly and sat now with her son in her arms, listening as the pre-op nurse explained to them everything that would happen during the procedure.
Alex was crying; the surgery center was big and white and there were no toys in this section he could play with. He wanted his sister, but Gil had arranged for her to go to a movie with Greg, explaining to her that Alex had yet another doctor's appointment. As the nurse prepared to walk Sara back to the pre-op doors where she would have to hand over he little boy, he began to wail, insisting that he wanted Mr Biggles; to Sara's relief, the pre-op nurse had agreed, fitting the little blue fluff ball with his own special mask and gown
She wanted to be there with Alex, she did not want this woman to take him away from her, to take him behind those doors where he would be scared and crying and wanting his mommy...wanting her. They will put him to sleep, Gil told her, he will be okay. But Sara knew by the look in his eyes that he didn't want to let go of him either; even if they did tell them it was a 'minor' surgery. That didn't matter to Sara; it was still surgery.
Once he was satisfied that Mr Biggles was comfortable, he allowed the nurse to take him out of Sara's arms and she watched as they carried his tiny form behind the doors that closed her off from him and she cried against Gil's shoulder while their son's world was to be changed forever.