Note: I wanted to do something where they're all a bit older, the guys being such stand up role-models wouldn't be underage drinking or anything like that. ;) They're wayyy to hero-like for behavior like that! What would the kiddies think?! So in light of that, we have Karai (Miwa 2012 version) as a close friend of them all, April with a past relationship with Casey and "A Playa Named Raph" with all sorts of girl experience. Lol. I just love messing with Raph. Plus he needs to keep up with Casey somehow and that is by matching exploits naturally.

So this is Sleepless in Seattle turtle-style because I checked if it had been done and it hasn't. So it should. And Mikey should be the leading man, cause everyone else gets more than enough play.

A big thank you goes to AlexHamato for Betaing and giving lots of suggestions that I hope I took. AlexHamato can also be credited with one of the best OC stories ever that inspired this one. So can SleepingSeeker with her Raph centered fic and pandasize for her setting all the bro's up story which round up my favorites list. And while I'm at it I'd also like to give a shoutout to The Nerdfighter and DarkUnderworld for their current OC fics that also rock my socks off. And to missylynn99 as she is my co-conspirator on this story.

Summary: After a drunken party night, April calls up the radio station with the hopes of letting New York know that Mikey doesn't have a girlfriend. A Sleepless in Seattle turtle-style fic. Established Apritello.

Disclaimer: No comment.

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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles / [2012 version]

Sleepless in the Sewers

[Chapter 1/ Pimp my Mikey]

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There were bottles strewn all around the lair in Splinter's absence - mixers, cider, and beer - but it was rare they got to celebrate like this. Donnie had been pressured into drinking more than he usually would. He'd never drank alcohol but he'd been convinced it was a special occasion this time since they were all together and had the chance to let loose for once. Mikey and Raphael had been trying to match each other drink for drink with April joining in the fun. Karai was around earlier but she got a call from this guy she was supposedly seeing and took off. That just left Leo the only completely sober one left, nursing a beer for the entire night but only faking an interest in the other rambunctious activities.

"You've tuned in to 2 AM Share Hour. The beat of New York City. This is Felicity here and I'm ready to hear your thoughts, just call in and share something with us." The radio droned in the background from Mikey's boom box, the perky voice of the DJ cutting through the haze in April's mind.

April thought this night had been nice, just her and the guys again, like old times. They had other people regularly as part of their escapades now, but tonight with Karai gone and Casey busy, it was just the way it used to be... when it had just been her and Donnie and his brothers. She would always look back fondly on those times, even though there were depressing and even terrifying moments littered throughout those memories.

How much had she drunk again? She couldn't remember keeping track of it. She was just having fun trying to match Mikey's antics and Raph's goading. Between taking swigs of her bottle of halfway-finished vodka mixer, a drink she much preferred over the weak taste of beer, she challenged Mikey to several video game rounds, had a burping competition with Raph where she lost dismally and danced it up with Donnie to the radio. Now she was feeling much less energetic as she just laid there, staring at her boyfriend and trying to think straight. Through all the fun, something was off.

It had been a nacho party. Mikey hid wasabi underneath one of the corn chips, and Leo had been the unfortunate one to bite into it. He quickly darted to the bathroom, scattering chips and salsa in his haste. When he came back he'd tried to compose himself and retain his dignity, and currently sat away from Mikey, sitting by April and Donnie's feet at the foot of the couch in a passive-aggressive show of distaste.

"You okay, April?" The ever-concerned Donnie asked for the twelfth time that night. He was naturally protective of his girlfriend but now he seemed to be even more so, the alcohol had spiked his senses up a notch to the point that he'd likely start hyperventilating if she took too long to answer. April noted to herself that she wouldn't try getting him drunk first if she was going to break up with him, not that she was planning on it. Not if she didn't want all of his paranoia about his relationship with her on show for the world to see.

"Peachy," as well as she basically could be despite Donnie's hyper-concern which was coming off to her more like motherly nagging, "Did you just hear that?"

"Hear what?"

"The radio. They were telling people to call. I'm going to call." She rolled to one side and pulled her phone out of her back pocket that she'd been sitting on, checking the screen first that she hadn't butt-dialled anyone.

"Yeah? Gonna share how badly you got beaten at everything tonight?" Raphael asked her with slight amusement. It wasn't fooling April though, she noticed his face crinkle up with a twitch, as if he was in pain from a headache.

"Nope, I'm going to talk about Mikey."

"About his late night snacking tendencies?" Leo asked. At that very moment, Mikey had his hand dipped into a pack of corn chips they hadn't used, mouth bulging with them. April would have assumed he'd already had enough but apparently all the drinks had done nothing to kill his enormous appetite.

She shook her head. "About his loneliness."

Mikey swallowed with one huge gulp. "I'm not lonely," he said with a pout. Of course he'd disagree with that assessment, he'd just had an awesome night hanging with his closest and dearest.

"You're totally,-"she paused with the phone help up to her ear, "wait, they picked up."

The voice on the other end of the phone asked for her details, they sounded irritable, like they were expecting April to be a crank caller who would burst into laughter and hang up the next second.

"That's April O'Neil," she waited as the older guy spelled it back to her. "No, just with one L."

"Is she really serious about this?" Mikey asked the others as April was giving her address over the line. His expression became panicked and his eyes flicked between his brothers.

"Glad it's you and not me," Raphael said nursing his head. He'd been hyper earlier, bounding affectionately on his brothers with Mikey-like energy and giving them playful noogies but now he'd settled down to a placid lull. That was probably a relief for his brothers, it had been weird for them to have Raph complimenting them all night in his slurred tones.

"Welcome to the 2 AM Share Hour. You got something on your mind?" They could hear the voice on the radio say as the song that had been playing cut off abruptly.

"Hi, this is April."

Mikey's mouth hung open as the sound of April's voice on the radio doubled over her own on the phone.

"What's shaking, April?" The DJ's smooth voice came over the phone line and the radio in the room.

"Just chillin' with friends," she smirked, putting her feet up in her boyfriend's lap. He gave her a lopsided grin in response. If she hadn't been talking right now she would have sworn that Donnie would have asked her how she was again and she was suddenly thankful she decided to call the radio station. "Actually, it's one of those friends I wanted to talk to you about."

"Oh yeah? What's the scoop on your friend? Depressed? Single? In a rut?"

"Well, sorta. You see he's this really, really great guy-"

"That's debatable," Raph sneered from the stairs, prompting Mikey to leap on him. A wrestling match began that travelled down the stairs and ended with them behind the couch, rolling about on the floor.

"But the thing is that he just uh, hasn't found the one yet..."

Leo rolled his eyes and Donnie snickered. It was the usual teasing that April was used to hearing about Mikey, just in non-verbal form this time. Sure, Mikey was a handful to his brothers but April didn't think he was all that bad. He had the potential to make some girl very happy one day. Not anyone she interacted with on a regular basis, but some girl surely could be made happy by the vibrant, hyperactive turtle.

"It's just that I think the world is missing out on what a great personality he has and it's really a shame."

"Nice personality?" The DJ scoffed, "Yeah, we've all heard that one before."

"No, I'm serious. He um, has a skin condition and doesn't get out much... but he's really adorable and really loves to party and make new friends. It's just a pity he can't go out, y'know, normal places." April caught Mikey's eye. He seemed grateful for her words, like she'd summed up how he himself felt about his circumstances.

"How much has April had to drink?" Leo asked quietly to Donnie, who only shrugged.

"That sounds like a really sad story." DJ Felicity came off all too mocking, but April was too riled up about the injustice of it all to notice.

"Yeah," April pursed her lips. "Well, it's not so bad. He's gotten to do some really great things. Saved the world a few times over," she giggled. If only they knew she was being serious about that factoid. "It's just that he deserves someone special, because he's so special."

Raph snorted as his brother climbed off of him. He brushed himself off and shook his head incredulously. "Yeah he's 'special' alright."

"Uh huh. So where is this special guy? Is he with you?"

"Do you want to talk to him?"

"Put him on."

April handed over the phone to Mikey, whose eyes grew as round as saucers. He hadn't had as much to drink tonight as April and clearly not enough to warrant this. "Um, hi?" He nervously held the phone out from himself, pinched between two fingers on high alert in case it grew limbs and ran away from him.

"Hi, Felicity here. So we've just heard all about you from your friend. So what's your name, boy?"

"M-Mikey."

"So where you at Mikey?"

"The sewers," he stated plainly. Well, it was true. Raph had stood up in time to slap the back of his head after he said it though. "I mean, not the sewers sewers, just a place that's called the Sewers. That's all. It's pretty nasty stuff." Raph hit him again. Wrong answer. "Ow, stop hitting me!"

"Sleepless in the Sewers. I like the sound of that. Like Sleepless in Seattle."

"Um, okay."

"Tell me you've seen Sleepless in Seattle. EVERYONE has seen Sleepless in Seattle. Romantic classic of all time?" She questioned, to see if it rang any bells with him.

Mikey shrugged his shoulders. "So it's a chick flick..."

"Tom Hanks?"

"Like Big?" Mikey pondered aloud.

"No, not like Big- well, okay, they both had Tom Hanks in it. But Tom Hanks wasn't a kid in a man's body, he was a sensitive widower who-"

"Sounds lame."

"Anyway, so we wanted to get your side of this for the whole night listening audience to hear... clearly you've got a great friend there who cares about you a lot. But what's going on? Never made a love connection?"

Love connection? Who talked like that? Radio people, that was who. "Kinda. I mean, a couple of times there were girls who would talk to me and everything... but it never ended up panning out."

Raph shook his head at his brother. This was just pathetic. It was almost too painful for him to watch, even in his inebriated state. He only stuck around because he didn't want to miss a moment of potential blackmail material.

"Wow. She wasn't kidding about you. Never had a girlfriend, Sleepless? Never been kissed?"

"Well, a sorta."

"So with your skin, is there any reason for your lack of intimacy with anyone? Can you be touched normally?"

"Oh yeah, I can!" he exclaimed. He may have been green but he was normalish, compared to some of the mutants they'd come across at least. "But it's not the same."

"The same as?"

Mikey blushed and turned away from everyone. He hadn't meant to say that at all. The same as his brothers and their bonds with certain people. The closest bonds Mikey felt like he'd ever had were with Leatherhead and Klunk, and those certainly weren't the type of bonds he was talking about. "The same as other people," he said quietly, gulping.

"Ah, got a few lovebirds around you then?"

"Well yeah, there's my friend you just spoke to, she's madly in love with my bro. And her ex, who's like one of our very best buds, but he has a lot of girls he's always telling us about. And then we have this sister who's not really our sister, who has this bond with another bro of mine. And then there's my other bro and he's well... he's not seeing anyone right now but he's had two girlfriends before!"

"Wow, two... you don't say," said the very amused DJ.

Raph followed Mikey menacingly as he paced across the room. He was trying to get as far from everyone as possible and as far from hearing his own voice over the radio in the room, it really threw him off his vibe.

"You'll pay for spilling that," Raphael told him, but Mikey was ignoring him. He was too focused on his conversation with the radio personality.

"And just between all of them, I don't know, but I'm starting to think that I'll never meet who I'm supposed to be with."

"So we have a romantic." The DJ announced.

"Heh," Mikey chuckled and scratched the back of his scalp, embarrassed.

"So, Mister Romantic, what sort of girl do you think you're supposed to be with?"

"Um." Honestly, he'd never thought to deeply about it before. What was the point of fantasizing about a dream girl when he'd never get to find anyone close to filling that role? He thought of all the best parts of female superheroes from the comics he read, and some of the villains were really super hot, too. What to pick... what to pick... "Well, she'll have to be tough. Like standing up to people... like... like Wonder Woman." She could stand to have Wonder Woman's cleavage, too. "And she'll have to be really fun. Like into games and... and... prank wars."

"Great. So you're looking for a superhero with the maturity of a six year old."

But even the DJ's sarcasm didn't deter him, Mikey continued to ride this train of thought all the way to the station. "And she's got to like furry things like cats and dogs and rabbits." And while he was at it, she'd better not be afraid of him either. "And reptiles. Like turtles. Yeah, she's gotta be into turtles." This dream girl he was inventing didn't exist, he had to face that. Especially not the way he was describing her. "And into dancing and good music and pizza and..."

"Are you just listing all the things that you like, Mikey?" The DJ cut in with amusement in her tone.

"Um, sort of..." He felt his face heat up, "is that a bad thing?"

"Don't you want to meet someone with different interests who loves you anyway?"

"Yeah, that'd be great!" He exclaimed but then he realized that all his optimism wasn't getting him anywhere. He had to face facts... to be like Raph (but less of a jerk about it and without the severe chip on his shoulder). "But it's not going to happen."

"Why would you say that?"

"I dunno. Girls can't really see past... the skin," he looked down at his hand dismally. "I can't imagine that any girl ever would."

"Oh, come on Sleepless. There are plenty of girls out there who aren't superficial, maybe even some of our 2 AM Chat Hour listeners. If there is anyone out there that really feels like they'll be able to look in to see the real Mikey and love him anyway, contact us at the station. Any time. It was great talking to you Sewer Boy. You take it easy and hold out to some hope. True love will prevail... probably... but what do I know? I'm just the night jockey, on desk to entertain all you night owls out there."

"Thanks, Felicity."

Mikey took the phone away from his eardrum. That was surreal. Talking to someone about his insecurities, kind of like a shrink. He'd always seen it on TV but knew he'd never get the chance to do anything like that, to see someone professionally. Not that he needed to see anyone professionally, only messed up people needed stuff like that, but he had to admit he felt refreshed. (Or maybe he was just sobering up?) Maybe she did know what she was talking about. Maybe there really was a girl out there, somewhere.

"What did you just do?" Leo asked April with an amazed shake of his head.

"I just set Mikey up with New York," she said plainly, that smirk still spread across her face.

"New York isn't ready for that," Raph stated and then rounded on Mikey. "And what did YOU just say?"

Mikey didn't even bat an eyelid. "About the two girlfriends? Irma and Mona Lisa. You should know dude, you were with them."

"What?" Raph snapped in reply, getting angry and flustered. "Where the hell did you hear that from?"

"Dude, everyone knew."

"Idiot," Raph was too wasted to consider paying his brother back for that now. "So what are you now Ape? Mikey's pimp or something?"

"Yep," she replied with a jovial laugh, "Want me to pimp you out too Raph?"

"Nah, Raph doesn't need any help." Leo countered, with a mocking tone. "Not with his two girlfriends and all."

A growl emitted from Raph's throat.

Mikey laughed uproariously.

"Alright, Donnie," April pulled her boyfriend up by the arms, but he was heavy and pulling him wasn't doing much good. "I think it's time to go snuggle. You look like you're falling asleep."

"Just a little bit." He pushed himself up and put an arm around April after swaying slightly, inhaling her scent woozily. "Night, everyone."

"He is totally going to get lucky," Mikey pointed out, eliciting another groan from Raph. "What? It's true."

"Yeah, I can see why no girls out there love ya, Sleepless in the Sewers." He gave his brother one more rap on the back of his skull before going to bed, thoroughly amused. Watch out New York, Michelangelo wanted a girlfriend.

...

To Close: Watch out New York indeed. What should happen next? Should Mikey troll Raph more about his girlfriends? Or maybe Splinter should do the trolling? Who would you like to see falling for Mikey? Suggest away!