I met this guy 4 years ago. He was funny, risky, and had a lot of attitude. Exactly like one of my best friends who just happened to move away a few months before. This guy, Austin, became friends with me slowly and gradually. To be honest, I can't quite remember how our friendship formed. But it did. And now 4 years later, he is one of my best friends. Or should I say... Was.
We were always laughing. When we saw each other, once a week, for about an hour, all we did was talk, argue, and laugh. I told all my other friends about him. Realising after a while that a sounded like a lovesick puppy. I tried to stop talking about him, as I could see the annoyance in everyone's eyes. But somehow or the other, he always came up. Anyone and everyone who knows me, knows that I'm gullible. Very very gullible. But that doesn't mean I trust easily. Because I don't. I'm suspicious of almost everyone's motives now. I've been fooled too many times. So after 2 years of knowing Austin, and texting him almost 24/7, respectively I gave him my trust. And now, 2 years later, I really wish I didn't.
We always fight. Bicker, Argue, whatever you want to call it. Sometimes it's over the stupidest things. But that's what makes it special. We've never gone more than 24 hours without talking or texting each other. One of us always gave in. To be quite honest, even though we disagree with every accusation that we could possibly be friends, or even best friends, I think that he is one of the closest people in my heart. I consider him a brother. And I care for him like a brother. Maybe even something more. But if you ever tell him that I will deny it! So when we fight, or I do something wrong, I feel horrible. I feel like half of me has been ripped out. I can't stand the thought of losing our friendship. I can't stand the thought of losing… him.
But today, at 5:08pm, I think I have. He has been struggling with depression for months, and even though I'd like to say I've helped, I can't. Because that's a lie. I haven't helped him, because I don't know how. I was involved in some crazy Shiz for a while there. I'm not saying I've lost him as in he's dead or anything. If he was, I would be a nightmare. But he betrayed my trust. Even just by the tiniest thing. Maybe I am over reacting. But I'm hurt, and that's one reason why I'm writing this. Because he lied to me, and broke a promise, now I'm wondering if she ever really liked me in the first place. Coming back to this tomorrow, I might have a completely different perspective. But right now, I feel like I have been betrayed by my mum or something. Proves how attached I really was. Maybe I'm the problem. Maybe I get attached way too easily. Maybe I'm the one..., who needs to change...
HEY GUYS! So as you can see I'm trying something new... And please let me know if you think I should continue this or keep it as a one shot. I wrote this because it actually just happened to me. Except the he was a she, I've just gone through and changed all the names and everything. Please let me know if you like it… love you all Xx