All I've wondered is
Why
Why us?
Did we do something so terrible
That would result in this paranoia
This gruesome bloodshed?
And I feel so desperate
My breathing is paradise- that I still can breathe!
Each intake shallow yet delicious
Tempting me to just stop
And breathe
I feel a high when I can slaughter something
So grotesque
Then I wonder if
That could have been me.
Day after day to keep going
I must remind myself it's true.
Save yourself so you don't turn into
What you're killing.
Does this justify what would be murder?
Sometimes I wonder if it really does.
And I grow terrified
Horrified
When I reach in the backs of my mind and just can't picture
What life used to be
I just can't
But then on an exhilaration of death I remember
The air seemingly flowing straight through my body
My hair in my face
A gorgeous boy's smile
My legs not even touching the D.C. dirt when I run
Now the only time I'm running
is for my life.