This was bound to happen
It was just a matter of time
This town is just too small for
Us to really say goodbye
You're smiling that smile that
You get when you're nervous
Like you don't quite know what to do
But this is me you're talking to
This is me you're talking to
She couldn't help it. Ella Montgomery had been shopping in this grocery store since she had married Byron, so, even though there was another grocery store closer to the apartment she was currently living in, she came to this one. She was standing in the yogurt section. She was trying to decide if she wanted strawberry or blueberry, or both, or none, when it happened. She looked up.
He was standing at the start of the aisle. Milk was being added to his already half full cart. Mentally, she corrected him. I only ever bought 1%. After all of our years of marriage, you should know that. The moment she had thought that, she ducked her head down. She hoped her hair would hide her face enough so that she could get out of here without him noticing.
Once upon a time, when they were young and crazy and in love, she would run up to him, and leap into his arms. He would catch her and spin her around. He would swear that he would never let her go. Little had she known, he had been letting go, inch by inch. She had never noticed that everything was spinning out of control until it was all too far gone.
She could still remember the night he had asked for a divorce. "We're not communicating, Ella. If you're not willing to put effort into this, I want out." They were officially separated now, but she would always think, when recalling that night, that she wanted to put everything she could into saving them. At the time, she had just been too wounded.
"Ella? Is that you?"
Damn. She had lingered here too long, thinking old thoughts.
"Hello, Byron." She managed a tiny smile. See, she could play grown-up. She could act like she wouldn't go home, make comfort food and salt it with her tears.
He's wearing his own smile. She knows this smile. It's the nervous smile. He had it when he thought he was in trouble, he was wearing it when he asked them on the first date, when he had first tried to put a diaper on Aria. The nervous smile was a big part of him. The fact that he was wearing it now shouldn't have been as big of a surprise as it was.
"How have you been doing?"
"Good," she replied. "And you?"
I've heard you met somebody
It didn't take you very long
And I'll admit it isn't easy
Knowing you've moved on
But I can see how you could make any woman
Fall deep in love with you
This is me you're talking to
She almost didn't want to ask. She had heard rumors flying about Meredith. And it wasn't rumors that he'd cheated with her. They were rumors that they were together now. Someone had seen them out to lunch, and they were certainly not acting like co-workers. This hurt her. The fact that he was so ready to move past her. The fact that he had already found someone new.
She could see why Meredith, or any woman, would be attracted to Byron. He was a handsome man, and the perfect gentleman. He opened doors, pulled out chairs, and was perfectly respectful. He knew the right words to whisper at any time, and he was just so charming. She'd be damned if anyone could resist him.
"I'm doing really great."
Ella fought to keep her mouth from turning down. He didn't have to act so happy that she was gone now, that there would be no turning back down that road.
"I'm happy for you."
"Thank-you."
Me, the one who really knows you
Me, the one whose heart you've broken
Me, the one who was still hopin'
You might be missing me
Her heart thuds in her chest, the way it always did. Even after two kids and seemingly endless years of marriage, she was still in love with him. All her life she had heard horror stories of how passion seemed to die, of how routine seemed to take everything out of the marriage. It hadn't happened to her.
Byron could still make her world stand still with that smile of his. He could still send butterflies into her stomach with the slightest touch of his lips to hers. She wished she could just fall out of love with him. Life would be so easy if she didn't love him.
If she wasn't still wishing he was in love with her.
We don't have to do this
We don't have to act like friends
As much as I would love to
I really just don't think I can
You don't have to tell me that you really love me
After all we have been through
'Cause this is me you're talking to
"How is the gallery doing?"
"Really great," she cannot bring herself to look him in the eyes.
She doesn't want to stand here and pretend that they were friends. She didn't want to pretend they were friends will remembering years of love and passion and laugh. She didn't want to recognize a love that had fallen into ruins.
What she wants is for everything to be how it used to be. She wants him to hold her close. She wants him to snore in her ear while they're sleeping. She wants to be there to cook dinner, and kiss him when he comes home. She wants to go back to what they were in Iceland, even if she had been so oblivious.
She wants him back.
"I'm happy for you. I know that Aria loves going over there, seeing the art."
There's the reminder. The reminder that she was eternally bonded to him. They had two children out there. Two children she would need to pretend for. If they knew that she loved him and didn't fight for him, they would look down on her. Especially Aria. Mike would act out; but Aria, who felt deeply and who loved strongly, would never understand.
Even Ella didn't understand.
Me, the one who really knows you
Me, the one whose heart you've broken
Me, the one who was still hopin'
You might be missing me
"And I'm glad that she likes it."
She knew Byron almost better than she knew herself. She knew his ticklish spots, and when he needed to be serious, and when he needed to be playful. She knew that his favourite colour was grey and that he disliked basketball. She knew him on a deeper level. She knew him more than, she believed, anyone else ever could.
She hoped he knew her just as well. She hoped this because then he would know how much he hurt her. If he truly knew her, he would see her shattered heart; he would see her broken soul. Of course, he had done what he had, knowing he would shatter her heart and break her soul.
How could she, after feeling all of this pain, knowing that the man she loved had hurt her this way, still love him? How could she miss him? How could she want him back?
She didn't know, but she did.
Oh, and you don't have to say that you do
This is me you're talking too
"I've missed having you around," Byron admits.
That shattered heart breaks a little more. He didn't miss her, he missed having her around. Words, and how you said them, meant everything. She believed that when he said he loved her, he meant it, but that was in the past. Now, the man she knew on that deep level, had that eternal bond with, had changed in some way she didn't quite understand.
"I," she starts, but stops. She what? Misses him? Yes. Loves him? Without a doubt. Can she say any of that? Not a chance. "I do miss our life together."
"Ella," he breaths her name, and, for a moment, it's like time has stopped. She believes in the man he used to be for that moment. "It was nice seeing you."
"It was really nice," she agrees. She wishes that she was strong enough to do more, to stand up and fight for the man she married.
"I do have to, though." He looks at his watch.
She feels like she's been blown off. She probably is. "Okay. See you at Mike's game?"
"Maybe."
He walks away. She watches. He doesn't turn around. This hurts. Everything about it hurts. At least, she thinks, walking away from the yogurt, he's no longer lying to me.
This is me you're talking too
I intended for the story to be a little different, so, like my last one shot, I don't know if the story fits the song. Oh well. Please review, your opinions matter and help me become a better writer!
I do not own Pretty Little Liars and the song 'This Is Me You're Talking Too' by Trisha Yearwood.
~DI4MGZ~
