Julie glanced around the living room one more time and sighed happily.
It was perfect.
For once, the carpeted floor was vacuumed clean, and Julie had spent hours the day before scrubbing the stains out. The pillows had been beaten into shape and were arranged artfully across the couches to hide the largest tears, and a throw covered the stain Jacob had made last year with his cranberry juice on the loveseat. All the dust had been shaken off the artificial plants, and the windows were wide open, soaking the room in a glow of afternoon sunlight that glinted off the Sweet 16 decorations.
It might seem like a bit much, but you only turned sixteen once, and if your parents couldn't afford to throw you a party in a rented venue, then you made do with what you had.
"Hey," Joseph said from behind her.
Joseph was the brother closest to Julie's age, with only nine and a half months between them. They were also the closest to each other out of all the siblings.
"Yes?"
Joseph grinned. "Happy birthday. Here, open this later." He handed her a box wrapped in pink paper.
Julie couldn't help smiling. "Thank you! Does everything look okay? Do I look okay?"
"You look so okay that I want to go into big brother mode and tell you to go take that dress and makeup off cause you're too good-looking," answered Joseph, which was the best answer he could have given. At that moment, the doorbell rang, and Julie hurried to answer it.
"Happy Birthday!" Hallie screamed, throwing her arms around Julie as far as they would go, so that they were surrounded by the enormous cloud of balloons she was clutching. "You're sixteen you're sixteen you're sixteen!"
"I know I know I know!" Julie screamed back, laughing. Hallie removed her arms. "These are for you," she announced, thrusting the balloons into her hands. "And these are for you," she continued, handing Julie a gift bag. "I mean, this, is for you! Because I'm not trying to imply that there's multiple things in there. For all you know, it could be one thing. Or twenty! Look at that banner in the hallway, it's gorgeous! I know Justin drew it. I told you your brothers would turn out for you. The living room...it's so PRETTY! Oh my GOSH, Julie, I can't believe you didn't let me help!"
Julie giggled, following her best friend into the living room. She felt giddy, dizzy with excitement and happiness. This had never really happened before, having a party all to her own; sweet 16s were things that happened to girls like Hallie, pretty girls with lots of money, few siblings and tons and tons of friends.
Hallie turned on her heel to take in Julie's appearance fully. "Look at you, mama!" she sing-songed. "You look so pretty! You need to wear dresses more often. And is that...lip gloss?"
"Yeah...I might take it off though. What the heck is the point of lip gloss, Hallie, I ask you? It's just flavored Chapstick. And Chapstick at least keeps your lips moisturized...this stuff is a joke."
"That's because lip gloss is for 13 year olds," said Hallie promptly. "We grownup women use lipstick. This is why you should've let me come earlier! We could have put some real makeup on your face."
"Too late now," said Julie, laughing at Hallie's expression. "Next time, Hallie. Come see the kitchen."
"So who'd you invite?" asked Hallie, trailing Julie into the kitchen. Here, Julie had once again applied her best efforts (and banned her little brothers), and the counters, floor, etc. practically shone. Trays of crackers and bowls of chips and other things of that sort lined the counter, arranged by Julie and her younger brother Justin, the artist, a couple of hours before. "Looks nice, Julianna."
Julie smiled vaguely at the use of her full name, which Hallie liked to use on occasion but which Julie never told people about because it was so girly and she dreaded being teased about it. She did, however, love to hear Hallie say it, because there was always so much love in Hallie's voice. It practically seeped out of Hallie's pores.
"Not many people that'll actually come," she answered. "I invited three girls from work - Jenna, Leah, and Kerrie - and from school, you, Stacy, Rachel and Cara."
"Is that all?"
"No, that's not all," said Julie witheringly. "I invited a bunch more people, but they won't come."
"Their loss," said Hallie, sitting on a bar stool. "Did you ask Kyle?"
"For the last time, I don't have a crush on Kyle."
"Yeah, you do," Hallie said, laughing, and Julie felt her face warming against her will.
"Yes, I invited Kyle - but he'll be a no show, just watch."
"Okay," said Hallie, studying her nails. "Well...You, me, Stacy, Rachel, Cara, and three friends from work...that's a good little crew. It'll be fun...oh JULIE!" she shouted in sudden excitement. "What games are we playing?!"
"Well," said Julie, "I was thinking about Pictionary, Catchphrase, Telephone, those sorts of things."
"Oh, I LOVE Catchphrase," Hallie excluded. "Hey, did you invite Maddie?"
"Are you kidding me?"
Hallie sighed. "This little fight between you two is getting old. You two used to be, like, best friends, remember?"
"She called me a bitch! And we're not best friends. That was before I met you, Hallie."
"Well, she didn't call you a bitch, exactly," Hallie said. "Although I appreciate the reference to our amazing friendship."
Julie smiled despite herself, then became serious. "She said, and I quote, 'that bitch thinks way too much of herself.' If that's not calling me a bitch, then what is?"
"But she tried to apologize," said Hallie. "And you never did let her."
"Hallie, no. Stop. I didn't invite her, okay?"
"Okay, okay," said Hallie contritely, "fine. So where are your brothers this fine morning?"
"All out, except Joseph. Should I get him?"
Hallie shook her head hastily. For all her gorgeous looks and outgoing personality, Hallie could be very shy at times, and she'd had a crush on Joseph for as long as Julie could remember. Joseph, of course, had no idea, and Julie had been forced by Hallie to swear not to tell him - or anyone else for that matter, but definitely him. She knew Joseph liked Hallie a great deal, but only as Julie's own friend, not as anything more; and Hallie knew that, too.
"Please don't," she told Julie.
"Fine, all right," Julie said.
There was a moment of silence, and then the doorbell rang unexpectedly. Julie jumped up to get it, leaving Hallie sitting in the kitchen.
Stacy and Rachel, twins from Julie's school, and Cara, a friend of Hallie's that had come to be a casual friend of Julie's as well, presented themselves on her step. "Happy birthday!" they chorused, then hugged her individually and handed her their presents. Julie thanked them, feeling even happier, and ushered them into the living room. Joseph was setting up a card table in the corner for the gifts.
"Hey," he greeted them.
"This is my brother, Joseph," Julie said hastily. "Joseph, this is Stacy, Cara, and Rachel."
"Hi, Joseph," said Stacy, the most forward - by far - of the two twins. "I didn't know you had a brother."
"I have a lot of them," said Julie vaguely, noting with amusement Cara's blush and Rachel's slight withdrawal. Hallie was not the only girl that noticed Joseph, she never was. Joseph was an attractive boy and he had a lot of what Julie's mother called "charm."
"How many's a lot?" Cara asked quickly.
"There are eleven of us," said Joseph, "not counting the parents. Eleven and a half, really."
"Half?" echoed Cara.
"One's on the way."
"Oh!"
"I'll leave you to it," said Joseph, squeezing Julie's shoulder. "Have fun," he added to the room at large, and ducked into the kitchen. Julie chased after him, knowing where he was headed. "Leave my snack trays alone!" she shouted, grabbing at him, but he evaded her, laughing.
Hallie got to her feet as they came in, sliding her phone into her pocket. Joseph dodged her and slid under the table, saying, "Hey, Hallie! Great day for partying, isn't it?" He scrambled to his feet on the other side, picked up a handful of crackers, and made for the patio.
Hallie looked after him but said nothing.
"Come on, Juliet," said Julie, grabbing her hand.
Jenna, Leah, and Kerrie arrived moments later, with more gifts and congratulations, and the little party was in full swing. Julie felt almost crazily happy. She was the center of attention, and nothing could have felt stranger or better.
They were just starting their first game when the doorbell rang again. Julie ran to answer it, surprised.
When she swung it open, twelve voices yelled, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JULIE!"
Stunned, Julie stared into the faces of her Junior Goodwill Games Hockey Team. Every. Single. One of them.
Of course, she had invited them, but she hadn't even begun to consider the fact that they would come. They couldn't; they lived all over the country, and nobody was even slightly close to Maine. And yet here they were, their hands packed with gifts, standing at her front door.
"Oh...my...God," Julie managed. "You - you're - but how did you -"
"We all got your invitations in the mail," explained Lester Averman. "And we thought, Gee, it's been so long since the team has been together. Wouldn't it be fun to jump on a plane and surprise Julie the Cat at her Sweet 16? So we did! Are you surprised?"
"Am I…?!" Julie drew in her breath. So many familiar faces...Averman, Goldberg, Portman, Banks, Guy and Connie...Charlie!...something pricked at the back of her eyes. Was it a cruel hallucination, or were they all really THERE on her doorstep at her party, all gathered together after two whole years just to see her?
"Say something, Julie," said Ken, waving at her from the back.
Wait, that's Kenny! But his voice is so deep now!
Suddenly Julie was laughing, laughing so hard she could conceal the fact that she was really crying.
"Oh my GOSH, you guys!" she shrieked. "I can't believe you're really here!" And she tackled the nearest one, Averman, for a hug. Goldberg was next. "Looking good, Catlady," he said. Connie smiled good-naturedly, releasing her hold on Guy's hand. "Nice dress," she said - and there was only the tiniest hint of sarcasm in her voice, and that was the Connie she knew; Guy grinned, "Good to see you!" Ken endured her smothering embrace with the exact same expression he used to wear, only for her to jump back and scream, "You're TALLER THAN ME, Ken!"
"It's called puberty," said Ken, looking down at her- down at her! - with a laugh. Then there was Portman was enveloping her in an embrace even stronger than it had been before, saying, "Dang, girl, if I didn't know it was you I wouldn't believe it!" and Fulton laughing and shaking his head and saying, "You look just the same, Gaffney, don't listen to him," and the the familiar, expensive smell of Adam's cologne, and Jesse's big, dimpled smile, paired now with an even shadow most boys would be jealous of, and Luis' smooth grin and curly hair, and Dwayne's cowboy hat perched on the top of his head...and Charlie.
Out of all the Ducks, Charlie had to be the one Julie missed the most. She'd missed everything about him: his curly hair, his goofy smile, his awkwardness, his inability to put together a decent outfit, his comforting arms, and his big, kind heart. She flung herself into his arms, crying in earnest, and he squeezed her back.
"It's good to see you, Julie," he said.
"Oh, you have no idea," Julie said - and how could he, when she herself had had no idea until this very moment how much she had missed them? "I'm so, so glad you're here, and I'm sure this was all your doing, wasn't it...thank you so, so much…"
Charlie cleared his throat, and Julie pulled back to see that the entire team was watching them like a movie. She suppressed the sudden urge to groan. It was still going to be like this, now was it? Everyone had always insisted that Julie and Charlie were secretly dating, because they were so close...but nothing could be further from the truth, as much as they loved each other. They were FRIENDS.
"Here we go again," Charlie muttered, and she laughed.
"Let's not all stand here," she said. "Come inside." And she led them into the house.
She looked into the living room as there was a general shuffle of people taking off shoes and talking to each other in the hallway, her feeling of euphoria fast dying away. The girls looked quizzically back at her from the suddenly dingy, dirty looking living room...despite all her efforts to clean it, Julie realized that the baseboards were still dirty and the ceiling fan was practically entombed with dust; the pillows were old, ragged, and still lumpy despite all her beating...the decorations that had excited her so much an hour ago now looked cheap and tacky, paper streamers and dollar store balloons. She had practically no food for them, she realized, and no room for them all to gather...the games she'd been planning felt silly now…in fact, the whole party felt so tiny and pathetic...
If only it had been different. If only they could have reunited someplace else, and she hadn't had to bring them to her crowded, dirty home, so vastly different from the likes of theirs. While in Minnesota, she'd been briefly to Guy's house, Connie's house...Lord help her, Banks' house...privileged homes with spare bedrooms and few children.
Damn it, she thought bitterly. Imagine the sort of party a family like Banks' could throw.
"Where do we put all these gifts?" asked Ken, coming up behind her. "Hey!" he added, waving at Julie's friends.
Julie came to life, smiling bravely, and introduced everyone to each other, and there was much greeting and shaking of hands and laughing and "Boy oh boy, I'm never going to remember all these names…" Hallie was in her element. No one worked a crowd like Hallie.
Julie glanced away from her, risked a look at the team, but no one was looking appraisingly at the dodgy parts of the room, like she thought they might. Her spirits lifted a tiny bit, but she still felt a knot in her throat.
"Excuse me," she said to no one in particular, and locked herself into the bathroom.
Seconds later, Hallie knocked. "I know you're in there, and I know you're not peeing," she said. "Let me in."
Julie opened the door, hastily blinking, and let her in. "What's going on?" Hallie asked, looking critically at Julie. And Julie knew that she couldn't fool her like she could other people; this was Hallie, the closest thing to a sister Julie had.
"I'm just...overwhelmed, I suppose," said Julie, sinking down onto the floor. Hallie sat down across from her.
"Why?"
"You know who these guys are, right?"
"Please!" Hallie said, waving her hand. "Of course I do! You know I watched every single one of you guys' games, even though I didn't understand a single one, but that's parenthetical, of course. I know your teammates when I see them! Plus, you said you'd never had a better summer than the one you spend with them, and that the one boy is your best friend other than yours truly."
Julie smiled. Trust Hallie to remember the important things.
"That's all true," she said.
"Then why are you in the bathroom, crying?"
"I'm not crying!"
"Right, you were trying not to. You know, you should just let go and cry it out sometimes, Julie. But that's neither here nor there. I'm chasing rabbits. Like, there's a rabbit," pointing vaguely into the air, "and I chased it. Why were you, ahem, trying not to cry?"
"It's complicated," Julie answered slowly. Because it WAS complicated; she didn't even understand it herself.
"I'll try to wrap my little brain around it."
"You don't understand," said Julie. "These kids...they're all rich. If not rich, then well-to-do. And then there's, you know, me. When we were all on the team together, playing hockey, I could fit right in. I had a place, because I was good at what I did. But now...now it's different. It's been two years, we're none of us the same anymore, and...we're not playing hockey, so...what holds us together?"
Hallie raised her eyebrows.
"I know, I'm being dramatic. But I can't help it," Julie said.
"I wasn't going to say you're being dramatic. I was just thinking that I spent, what, three seconds with all those guys? Plus one girl, that is. Parenthetically. And they totally didn't seem like the kind of people that would care if you can't blow your nose on dollar bills or whatever."
Julie frowned. "Blow my nose on dollar bills?"
"You know!" said Hallie, waving her hands, as if that would magically make Julie understand her. "You can't throw around money. But you said you've all changed, and I'm sure you're right; maybe you should go out there and make friends with them again. And if all else fails, you've got your one true friend, right?"
"You?"
"No! I mean, yes, I'll always be your true friend. I meant that guy you used to talk about, the one you swore you weren't in love with, even though it always seemed like you were."
"Well, I'm not."
"Whatever you say!" said Hallie cheekily. "But you have him, right?"
Right, Julie thought. Charlie was the kind of person who remained untouched by prejudices of that sort - one of the many things she loved about him. She'd just have to block out whatever anyone else might be thinking.
"You ready?" Hallie asked.
"Not really," said Julie. "But the last thing I want to do is have them wonder why you and I are locked in the bathroom together."
"Let them wonder," said Hallie in a mock contemptuous tone. But then she nodded vigorously. "You don't want them to think you're hiding."
"I am hiding," said Julie, laughing a little.
"I know, but we don't want them to think that. Come along, Weeping Wanda! We have a party to crash."
"It's my party," said Julie, following her out of the bathroom.
"So you have a perfect right to crash it. Hey there! Dean, was it?"
"No, Ken," said that person, who had been waiting outside the door, eyeing them oddly. "What were you d...ah, never mind. I'll just...yeah." He hurried into the bathroom and shut the door behind him.
Julie and Hallie locked eyes, and then both burst into giggles. Julie felt a great deal better as Hallie skipped back into the living room, dragging her by the hand.
"I'VE BROUGHT THE BIRTHDAY GIRL!" she announced. This was met by a round of applause, started immediately by Averman, who also bounced up and down on the couch saying "Yaaaaaaaaay!" But he was the only one who did that.
As the time started to pass, Julie felt her anxiety lessening. Yes, the house was still dirty and dingy, and yes, she still felt embarrassed; but as she, shyly at first and then with more assurance began to mingle with her old teammates, her worry about them thinking less of her vanished. They treated her exactly as they used to, and that was all she wanted.
They put sixteen candles on the cake she'd baked the night before and told her to make a wish, and she made a wish that she would never again lose contact with her team again, and then she blew them out in one breath, and they ate the cake and pronounced it delicious. A rousing game of charades was played, with many laughs and a few mishaps on the part of Charlie trying to be a ballet dancer and Averman trying to be a ship.
Then Cara left, and with her the twins. A half hour later, Jenna, Leah and Kerrie made their apologies. Though the team parted with them warmly, Julie noticed that Luis parted with them no warmly than any of the others. She was surprised - an opportunity for him to flirt, and he didn't? What was going on?
It was now going on four hours since the arrival of the Ducks, and they still stayed, along with Hallie; Joseph came out of hiding and joined them, meeting the Ducks himself. Julie turned on the little used Wii and they played four at a time, with Julie always on the rotation. She got up from all the fun eventually to get a drink.
When she entered the kitchen, she was somewhat surprised to find Banks sitting at the counter, apparently engrossed in his phone, and she realized she hadn't seen him for the last couple of hours.
"Hey," she said. "You okay?"
He looked up at her, startled. She'd forgotten how very blue his eyes were.
"I'm fine, yeah," he said, watching her fill her glass.
This made her uncomfortable, and she spilled the water, which meant she had to clean it up with him still watching, which made her more uncomfortable still. She poured the water again in the growing silence, and spilled it again, and cleaned it up again. When she returned to the counter, Banks had poured the water for her. He handed her the glass, a rare smile turning up the corners of his mouth. "Here."
"Thanks," she said, feeling flustered. She felt the need to explain that she wasn't normally so clumsy...but that would be even more embarrassing. So she just left.
It was surprisingly easy to forget all about him, which she did in the next few minutes. Guy, who was the only person on the team that hadn't brought a gift, insisted on ordering pizza instead, and it didn't take long for Julie to agree. She didn't point out that she couldn't have afforded to pay for it all on her own, anyway.
The pizza came, and the night wore on. They started telling stories, swapping memories about old times on the team. Hallie and Joseph were filled in on the details, and Julie's heart sang for joy as she listened to them spill their individual memories...they remembered things she had forgotten, and when they mentioned them the way the memories came back to her was sweeter than sugar.
"Do you remember that day at the beach…"
"Do you remember that time we sneaked out and Miss MacKay caught us…"
"Do you remember that night at the campfire ..."
She remembered that night best of all, because it had hit her so suddenly that she wasn't going to see these people again. And they'd all promised to keep in touch, and none of them had, and she'd spent the next few weeks missing them desperately, trying not to get depressed with the monotonous familiarity of her life, because that summer had been so, so different…
Don't cry, Julie. Control yourself.
"Good times," said Jesse, finally. "We gotta promise, like, for real, to keep in touch this time, yeah?"
A sort of silence fell as everyone looked at each other. It was the silence where everyone remembered that this was all well and good, but that everyone was going home immediately, and there was nothing to stop them all breaking apart again.
"That's what we said last time," remarked Goldberg.
"Yeah, but I mean it this time," said Jesse. "We're all grownups here, I'm sure we can manage to take down a few phone numbers and email addresses."
Julie decided not to point out that she didn't have her own phone or her own laptop.
"We did that last time," Goldberg repeated. "Julie, don't you have, like a bunch of brothers and stuff? Where are they?"
"There's one of them," Julie said, pointing at Joseph. "The four little ones went with my parents to see my dad's Mom, and the rest are at friends' houses overnight because I wanted the house to myself."
"Squirrel!" said Guy.
"Oh, yeah," said Julie. "Well, I'm with Jesse. We gotta keep in touch. I missed you guys too much."
"Shucks, you're makin' me all teary-eyed," Jesse told her.
"For heaven's sake, can't we do it tomorrow?" Connie said. "It's been a long day."
"You'll be gone tomorrow," Julie reminded her.
"Oh, Julie," said Averman, patting her arm, "you didn't think we'd fly all this way to see you and leave the very same night, did you?"
"Stop patting me," said Julie, thoroughly confused. "So...you're staying?"
"For a few days, yes," said Averman, looking pleased with himself. "If that's okay with you, of course."
"We not staying here," Ken interposed hastily. "We're at a hotel, the Lion something or other down the street from here."
"The Crown Lion?"
"That's the one," said Ken.
"That's not down the street. It's, like, city center. And it's probably the most expensive hotel in all of Maine!"
"Only the best for us," remarked Dwayne.
Julie tried her hardest not to feel resentful.
"You're staying for how long?" asked Hallie.
"Until Friday," Luis answered. "So six days."
"Almost a week," Connie said. "Lucky us!"
"Like you're not thrilled," said Guy, laughing.