A/N: FIRST ANGSTY FIC! It's probably horrible, but it's kinda a prologue to my Coming Along fic. I needed to get this out, so yeah, here it is. If you like this, see what happens to...Sorry for any and all typos!

Disclaimer: I don't own harry potter

I, Teddy Remus Lupin, am a horrible man.

I saw her tear her life apart. It all started in her first year, when she clung to me, not letting go at all. I didn't do anything about it. Sure, it annoyed me a little, but she was my best friend. What was I supposed to do? Tell her to go off with the girls in her year that she hated? I couldn't do that. I'm a horrible man by the way, so of course I wouldn't do it.

Then, in second year, when she got some ever-lasting ink and I just watched her play painter on herself. Like she was the canvas and the ink was the paint. She drew herself a moving tattoo of a butterfly on her ankle. I didn't do anything about it. Even though, I knew that can cause serious ink poisoning. I just sat back and watched her destroy herself. And as the week went on, and she got ink poisoning, and she ended up in St. Mungo's, I felt like the guiltiest, most horrible, demon-possessed man alive.

And then her third year, my fifth year, came. She got her ears pierced like crazy. She got six piercings in each ear. And I sat back and watched her tear herself apart, and put holes in herself, and basically kill herself. I'm a horrible man. I wish I had never met her, she wouldn't have felt pressured to do it if I wasn't there.

And when my sixth year came, and she got more rebellious, I could tell what was going on with her and her boyfriend. I wanted to kill him so bad. Not out of jealously, but for building this girl up, but then tearing her down three days later. It broke my heart just watching her, and then, during my seventh year, she broke up with him. She felt like no one loved her, so she went anorexic. I wanted to shake her and tell her to eat something. But I didn't want to hurt her. She looked so small and fragile, I was worried.

And then, as I graduated, I knew something was going to happen when she was at Hogwarts.

She started eating again. I could tell because when she came back for Christmas, she had gained a few pounds, in a good way, of course. She had a nose ring too. Her mother was furious, but I thought it looked good on her. She had also died her hair. It was now blond with red streaks. I don't think I saw her put it up in a pony tail once that vacation. And I was with her the whole time.

Then, when she came back for the summer holidays, there was some foggy air about her. I wasn't sure what it was exactly. She'd leave my side every now and then. I wasn't sure why, until I saw her smoking in the back yard of the burrow one day. I was furious. She had bags under her eyes, but I knew she wouldn't listen to me.

Then, she left for her final year at Hogwarts, she didn't come home for the Christmas Holidays and I was worried out of my mind for her. She'd be alone... everyone else except her came home. I wanted to travel to Hogwarts to see her, but I couldn't. I couldn't butt in on her life. I knew it, and I obeyed that. Then, when she came home for Summer, the last time, she was obviously drunk. She slept over at the Burrow that night, and I asked her a question.

"Why did you do all this?"

"Because I missed you..." She said, sitting on my lap and resting her head on my lap.

I was the worst man alive. I still am. I always have been. I always will be. Living with this guilt, of watching this innocent girl breaking down, and not doing anything about it. Just watching her break down, like I enjoyed it. Even after Hogwarts, she wasn't perfect. She didn't eat that much, she drank too much, and she hadn't stopped smoking. I decided I needed to do something.

I sat her down in the living room of our apartment. It was small, but roomy at the same time.

"When are you going to stop?" I asked.

"When you ask me too," she answered completely and totally honest.

"Will you stop?"

"I will for you..." She answered, sitting on my lap and wrapping her arms around my neck.

"Thank you..." I answered, giving her a kiss below her ear. She giggled and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

A month later she walked up to me slowly, and sat me down. "Teddy..." She said carefully. I never remembered her being this careful. Not one bit, not at all, I was worried out of my mind. Could she not stop? Because I would give her the potion every day if I had to.

"Tedd?" She said, starting to cry. It was then I realized I hadn't spoken.

"Yeah?" I answered back.

"I... I think... I think I may be... pregnant..." she whispered. I ran next to her and gave her a big hug. We ended up running away to America. Afraid to tell the family.

I am a horrible man...

I watched her struggle with the pregnancy of our son imensely. I watched her helplessly, doing all I could this time, which still wasn't enough. Eventually, she ended up dead. I was heartbroken, and named our son Victor Gabe. After Victoire Gabriella. The love of my life, whom I watched fall apart and break down.

I am a horrible man.

A/N: If you liked this see what happens to Victor in Coming Along. It's still in progress, but it's fairly okay. I suppose. Plesae review! Thx.