Oh God RedXEag3 what the fuck are you doing now NO STOP BEFORE IT'S TOO-

It's too late, I've started another story, Common Sense. This one taking place in Shield Hero of all things.

So basically I was challenged to do a Self-Insert into a story that's farther removed from what I usually do. Said person, a good friend of mine who goes by Aster's Descendants, gave me three options, and I chose Shield Hero. Now, this comes with four rules. Those being:

1. The Character cannot have godly/god-like (compared to their universe) powers right off the bat.

2. Character pairings optional, but must be believable for the universe.

3. Character must have a believable way to arrive at chosen world (or if one can't be thought of, a ROB that works for your chosen universe)

4. Canon characters must stay as themselves. No OOC for reasons of bashing.

And here we are. This will probably not be updated very often in the slightest, considering I not only have two fics I'm working on but I have college on top of it, but I may write a chapter for this whenever I feel like it.

There may or may not be references to everything I've ever watched/read/listened to so be careful.

(Especially Dark Souls)

Hope you enjoy!

An outlook stretching towards the horizon is where I sat, motionless. The ocean crashed onto the eroded rock, sending sea foam far up the cliff. The wind blew wildly through my hair, but I did not pay attention to it.

There were more important things to focus on anyway.

A ball. Small and distinct, bounced and found itself next to my ankle. My gaze moved towards it, studying it for only a moment before picking it up. I stood up, the cape I wore obscuring my frame and flapping in the wind.

I turned around, ball in hand.

And saw her-

My eyes opened. Light from some unseen source pierced my eyes, making me wince and groan in response.

"Okay, who the hell decided to turn on the sun today…?" I muttered.

Alarm bells rang when I heard a voice, and realized I was standing. My eyes shot wide open when that happened.

"O brave heroes, please save our world!" The voice said, sounding like someone out of a medieval reenactment documentary.

O brave whosiwahtsits? Save which world now? The fuck is-

My vision cleared, and finally, the dots connected.

A well-decorated cathedral, or maybe just a church? I couldn't tell. The stonework was impeccable, with smooth stone pillars and well-chiseled carvings, along with beautiful engravings in the walls. Below me was a stainless marble-tiled floor of some sort, with a complicated circle with many different indecipherable markings within it.

The people in front of me wore strange, yet well-made, clothes. In my eyes the resembled priest robes or something like that. Although the cloaks made them look a little… sinister is the word that comes to mind. Their gazes were weary and exhausted.

In moments, I made the connection.

I've been isekai'd.

…

Ah HELL

"What do you mean by that?" A high-pitched, yet recognizably masculine, voice spoke out somewhere to my left.

It occurred to me then that I wasn't alone.

Three people stood next to me, looking completely at ease with the current situation. It might have had something to do with the weapons they were carrying, which they seemed to lug around with not a care in the world. The guy on my immediate right carried a spear with a golden gem between the shaft and the point, and he wore casual clothes, with somewhat messy light hair. The guy, well, more like boy next to the Spearman had black hair and carried a sword with a blue gem in the guard. The last one, the one who spoke before, was a lithe guy with a bow, with an orange gem as the centerpiece.

The last thing I noticed was that I practically towered over everyone in the hall. The tallest guy there was the spear guy, and he was around 5'5.

Well hello my fellow interdimensional travelers fancy meeting you here

Curiosity made me look down to see if I got a cool-as-hell weapon too. On my left arm, a metal small shield with a green gem inlaid in the center seemed to stare right back up at me.

I looked at the shield.

The shield seemed to look at me.

Okay then I have SEVERAL QUESTIONS-

"All will be answered, heroes!" The, I assumed he was a priest, assuaged. "For now, though, this explanation should suffice: You are the Four Cardinal Heroes, and you have been summoned to save our country and the world from certain destruction. Please, will you help us?" He asked hopefully.

Okay so lemme get this down so that I don't have a fucking brain aneurysm thirty seconds after being summoned to a new world. I've been isekai'd, and, apparently, the four of us are heroes who are going to save a world, and each of us has a thuper thpecial weapon that can kill shit and we doesn't afraid of nothing-

Honestly could be worse couldn't it boyo?

I was about to respond, asking for clarification or, well, anything, at that point, when one of my fellow heroes spoke out, his tone challenging.

"I refuse."

Well fucking hell don't even give him a chance to elaborate genius

I turned and looked down to see one of the heroes, this one with the bow who was almost a foot shorter than me, step forward. "We didn't ask for any of this; you summoned us against our will."

"I have to agree." The spear man said, casually holding said spear on his shoulder. "Say we help save your world, and then you just send us off again? Then we would have done it all for nothing."

"I concur with both of them." The last one, the one with the sword, pointed his sword threateningly at the priests. "If you want us to save you, you will need to make it worth our while."

"Some heroes you guys are…" I mumbled under my breath, attempting to rub my forehead and nearly bashed myself in the face with my shield. "Okay," I breathed in and out. "You guys are demanding compensation without even doing anything. Should at least hear them out before we demand anything."

They all looked at me, well, looked up at me, with confused expressions.

"He told us everything we needed to know, did he not?" The sword boi asked, brows furrowed. "We should make our terms clear before we agree to anything they have to say."

I held up my arms in a gesture of surrender. "Hey, just making a suggestion Kirito. Let's not get big heads and start demanding shit just because they call us heroes, 'right?"

His eyebrow twitched. "My name is-"

"Please, brave heroes! There is no need for argument. Allow us to escort you to the king of our nation, so that he may offer further explanation." The priest suggested, quickly stopping an argument from brewing.

We all looked at each other for several seconds, apparently having a conversation through telepathy, before the Kirito-expy lowered his sword. "I suppose that is far."

"Might as well." Said the bow boi.

"Who knows, maybe there'll be a cute princess there." The spear boi said dreamily, before shivering slightly. "Non-violent, hopefully…"

"Well, everyone has their delusions, I guess." I remarked quietly.

We were on our way to the castle when I finally got a good look at the sprawling city. Considering we were merely walking through the streets before then, I didn't get a good chance to look at it. When I finally did though, looking through that glassless hole, it took my breath away.

It had finally begun to sink in at that point. I, we, were well and truly in another world. Either that, or we had been summoned to the most 3rd world country in existence, which was, ironically enough, less believable than what had happened just a while before.

My lagging behind did not go unnoticed by the short bowman.

"It is very beautiful, isn't it?" He murmured, just right next to me.

I turned to him, smirking a little despite myself. "It sure is, Legolas." I replied, feeling a cool breeze through my hair. "Nice wind too."

"It's a Mediterranean climate to be sure. Have you never been outside of America before?" He asked.

How does he know I'm American. I could be from Britain for all he knows

I looked at him strangely. "Yes… I have? Why'd you ask that?"

He looked like he was about to respond, an apologetic expression on his face, before Spear boi called to us. "You two coming or should we keep going without you?"

I gave Legolas one last look before replying. "We're coming, wait up!"

I actually had to lower the pace at which I was walking just so I wouldn't overtake everyone. Considering how tall I was compared to everyone else, it didn't really surprise me, but it did send my impatience levels into overdrive, something I hated more than life itself.

In time, however, we arrived. The hall we now found ourselves in was something you might see in a fantasy game's concept art, being even more fancy, regal, and ornate than the church. Although, considering it was supposedly the home to royalty, that fact was not surprising. The king himself sat upon a golden throne, looking every part the type of king one would see in a generic fantasy setting.

There was one thing that I had made note of earlier that came to me in full force now.

I am in a country full of midgets

That was exaggerating, but it was clear from the stares and small whispers I heard at the edge of my hearing that I was an oddity among oddities. The Noblemen and women who had apparently gathered to see the heroes enter stood only to about my neck at the most.

We walked semi-speedily, until we were directly in front of the king himself. Several groups of people stood at his side. Advisors? Political factions? My head swarmed with ideas.

"Welcome, Four Cardinal Heroes, to the country of Melromarc. My name is King Aultcray Melromarc XXXII, the current reigning monarch. May I please have your names?" His voice was deep, low, commanding, everything you would expect out of royalty.

It was a bit daunting, and I did notice the way he kept glancing at me out of the corner of his eye. I really hoped this height situation wouldn't be an issue.

The farthest to the right, nickname Legolas, stepped forward. "Nice to meet you. My name is Itsuki Kawasumi. I'm seventeen and a high school student. Please, take care of me."

I know it's a Japanese thing but I sincerely doubt they will be the ones taking care of us Legolas

The king gave a nod of acknowledgement as the second farthest to the left, nickname Kirito, stepped forward. "Ren Amaki, 16, high school student."

That's nice edgeboi Kirito

Finally, the one on my immediate left, nickname pending, stepped forward. "I'm Motoyasu Kitamura, I'm twenty-one, and a college student. Nice to meet you all!"

I think I have a good nickname for ya my man. Lancer. I wonder if you'll live up to the name?

Getting ready to take a step forward myself, I was stopped by the King seemingly ignoring me. "Itsuki, Ren, and Motoyasu… Interesting."

I patted my body, making it as obvious as possible. Lancer took notice.

"…What're you doing?" He asked, eyebrow raised.

"Just checking to make sure I'm not invisible, you know, since I was apparently skipped over." I replied, completely deadpan.

"That's a bit rude, don't you think?" Legolas commented. "He is royalty."

"He is? I didn't notice." I shot back. "And what's more rude? Being ignored, or calling out being ignored?"

The King took a deep breath. "My apologies. What is your name?" He asked curtly.

I realized that my behavior was hardly befitting of someone in the presence of royalty, but considering royalty is a foreign concept to someone like me, I didn't think about it very much. I really should have, but I didn't. I had to iron that out of me at some point; I doubt others would take my attitude as lightly as the King apparently had.

I eyed him before speaking. "My name is Alexander Grant, 18, and currently a college student."

The King didn't even give me a sign of recognition as small as a tilt of the head before he decided enough was enough and explained the whole situation to us.

Okay well I guess that's fine I just LOVE to be ignored after all

"I have no doubt that the four of you are confused, but please, allow me to explain the current situation and the reason why you, the Four Cardinal Heroes, were summoned." He closed his eyes. "In short, the very existence of our country, and the world as we know it, is threatened. Before we summoned you, we were beset by a wave of destruction and death that nearly tore us apart. Fortunately, we were able to launch a successful counter-offensive of mercenaries and adventurers that were able to beat back the wave and buy us time."

Crapasaccharine world it is then

The King looked sorrowful. "The casualties were massive, and I knew in the end that we would not be able to survive a similar wave. So, I have summoned the four of you, to aid us in our time of need. Each of you has a legendary weapon of incredible potential that can be nurtured to save our world. The Four Cardinal Heroes of the Bow, Sword, Spear, and Shield. I ask of you, please, save our world from utter destruction."

He gave a convincing presentation, I wasn't gonna lie.

Us four 'heroes' looked amongst ourselves, apparently having another telepathic conversation that I was oblivious to on a conscious level. Lancer spoke up, supposedly speaking for all of us.

"We will be compensated for this, right?" He asked.

The King nodded. "You will all be rewarded handsomely for your efforts, and party members are on their way here as we speak to join you in this quest."

We looked among ourselves one final time. I already had an answer, considering I really always wanted something like this to happen. Who wouldn't take the chance to be a hero? Sure, it was just a shield that I had, but that could mean a multitude of things. I was probably the tankiest of all the four of us naturally before I even got the shield, but with it? I was optimistic.

I nodded my head in silent agreement to the others.

Legolas and Kirito nodded as well, and Lancer answered for us once more.

"We accept your terms, Your Majesty." He bowed. "Please, take care of us."

The King nodded, a smile on his face which, if I wasn't seeing things, faltered ever so slightly one last time when his eyes met mine.

I'm not THAT ugly am I

"Excellent!" The King said. "You truly are the heroes of legend I have always heard of! The next wave is set to arrive in a month. During this time I recommend you focus on training and arming yourselves for the coming battles. Tomorrow, you will set off on a quest the likes of which this world has never seen! In the meantime, I'm sure you are exhausted from all that has happened today. Please, make use of the rooms we have for you…"

I sat on a couch, almost taking up half of it just by sitting on it while propping my arms up on the backboard of it, with my head tilted back, just thinking. The conversation the other three heroes were having sounded little more than mumbling.

"…And to think that…"

"I was a bit nervous really…"

"Interesting…"

My thoughts never crossed the other heroes. Instead, I retreaded old ground in my mind, that being, the fact I had been isekai'd. I was well and truly in another world. A goddamn medieval world. Besides that obvious detriment of losing many basic modern amenities, I also had to figure out just what kind of… well… isekai world this place was.

The way I saw it, there was two possible, opposing types of world this place could be, with a decent amount of variation between the two extremes.

One, this was a purely wish fulfillment world, where after easily dispatching the waves with my stalwart true companions and drop-dead gorgeous love interest, I set off into the sunset towards lands unexplored, a life full of promise and satisfaction in my wake.

Or, two, this could be the crapsackiest of crapsack worlds. A veritable death-world not unlike that of Berserk, where our probably extremely fragile mettle is tested over and over again in a fruitless endeavor to prolong our miserable lives for another day for no other reason than survival. Whatever happiness we find for ourselves will most likely be stripped away by something as simple as a lucky hit, and that includes any drop-dead gorgeous love-interests we may stumble upon.

It has to be said that I don't find survival for survival's sake to be very attractive. In my opinion, what is the point in living if you have nothing to live for?

I let out a breath and cracked on eye open, staring at the shield on my arm. Analyzing it.

Now that I got a good look at it, it was, for lack of a better term, bigger than the other heroes' weapons (if you could call a shield a weapon). It was like the shield was made for me, fitting how big I was while the other heroes' weapons fit their sizes just perfectly as well.

How convenient

But to be a hero… Well, that was something I always wanted to be, really. And considering, with these weapons, and the 'screens' I could see that seemed to imply that this world operated at least somewhat on video game logic, and, well…

Being a hero doesn't seem so impossible now doesn't it bucko

I was in another world, another time, another place. I could have a fresh start, be whomever I want, be the hero I always wanted to be and abandon all the walls I had built around myself over the years. I would, of course, be prepared in the event that this world did turn out to be a death-world of truly biblical proportions, but if otherwise…

"…Is he…"

"I dunno, he could be just…"

"Wake up."

The stern, yet slightly immature, voice made me open my eyes fully, glaring at edgeboi Kirito who had rudely interrupted my musings.

I raised an eyebrow, letting my slight frustration be known. "What is it?"

He sighed. "We were hoping that you could corroborate something with us."

Spearboi, new nickname Lancer, scoffed. "As if he needs to agree to anything! Even an American like him should know about Emerald Online!"

Legolas shook his head. "I don't think he would. Besides, this place is more similar to Dimension Wave, although it is a bit different. I've never even heard of Emerald Online before today."

Kirito spoke up. "And, essentially, I am saying that this world is almost exactly like Brave Star Online, a VRMMO. Last time I checked Brave Star had an English translation out, and I am curious if you've ever heard of it."

I tilted my head. "Never heard of anything like what you all just said. In fact, this is more like an isekai anime than any game I've ever played or heard of for that matter." I perked up slightly. "Wait, did you say VRMMO?"

Kirito nodded. "I did. They have been around for years." He added.

Legolas shook his head. "VRMMO's haven't even been tested yet, so…"

"Okay, hold up everyone. Let's get our facts straight, okay?" Lancer interrupted before anyone else could keep that clusterfuck of a conversation going. "Let's have a little history quiz then. Just real quick, okay? So, I will just ask this really quick. What's the most popular MMO out now!?" He shouted suddenly.

"Gun Horizon Online!"

"Brave Star Online."

"World of Warcraft."

We all looked between each other and considered our conflicting answers before Lancer asked another question. "Who won World War II!?"

"The Axis!"

"The Allies."

"Allies."

Okay this is freaking me out a little now. Did we all get summoned from completely different versions of Earth?

Lancer took a deep breath before asking the next question, apparently coming to the same conclusion I already had. "Who is the current Prime Minister!? Ah, well… you don't have to answer this one." He added, looking at me.

I held my arms up in the universal 'what-the-fuck-can-ya-do' sign.

Legolas stared blankly. "Japan… doesn't have a Prime Minister. It has a Shogun and Emperor."

"Japan only has an Emperor…" Kirito murmured.

I clapped my hands once, getting attention affixed on me. "You know what this means, don't you?" I stood up, looking down on my three compatriots, before swinging my hands to the side in a pose you'd imagine a shitty priest would make. "Rejoice, friends! Not only have we all been summoned to another world, but we have also been summoned from completely different versions of Earth!"

I sat back down after that.

"Please, never do that again." Kirito pleaded.

"I make no promises."

"While this has all been interesting, it doesn't change what happens, does it?" Legolas asked. "No matter where we're from, we're going to save these people. That's what heroes do, isn't it?"

"Hell, doesn't sound so bad." I replied. "In fact, considering your guys weapons and this shield, we could form a party of our own-"

A screen popped up in front of me.

"Warning: Working together with other heroes who wield Legendary Weapons will severely reduce EXP gain."

I frowned. "Well, okay, nevermind then."

"That settles that. It's fine, however. I would rather be alone anyway." Kirito said.

I'm sure you would edgeboi

"I guess we'll all have to work apart from each other." Lancer sighed.

"A real tragedy to be sure." I deadpanned.

Lancer eyed me. "Yeah, but that's a big problem for you though, isn't it?"

"How so?" I asked, genuinely curious.

He got up. "You have just a shield, right? Nothing else?"

I looked at the shield on my left hand, the green gem in the middle glaring back up at me. I looked back up at Lancer. "So I do."

Lancer chuckled humorously.

Kirito closed his eyes and muttered something unintelligible.

Legolas looked at me with sympathy and pity.

All three increased my frustration.

"Is there a problem with the shield?" I asked, sitting up straight.

"Not a problem with the shield really, it's just…" Lancer took a moment to think. A hard process that required careful use of his last remaining brain cells I'm sure. "The thing is, there was a class that looked a lot like you back in Emerald Online. It was easily the worst class in the game, and only used by people who really had no idea what they were doing. I guess it was like that for you guys too?"

Legolas nodded slowly while Kirito was too busy being an edgeboi to comment.

Words of wisdom from Sasuke over here fucking hell

"In other words," Lancer got close to me and, since I was sitting down, leaned forward, his face only a few centimeters from mine. "You are the weakest out of all of us."

I stared at Lancer.

Lancer stared at me.

The shield seemingly stared at Lancer.

Slowly, making sure the creaking of the couch was as pronounced as possible as I did so, I got up from my slouched position and stood over Lancer, looking down at him as he had to me.

"And to that I say, Motoyasu, you don't know what you're talking about." I replied finally, stepping back and holding up my shield. "Oh, don't get me wrong, my damage is probably non-existent, and you guys could probably kill more things than I could ever hope to, but when it comes to defenses, look at you!"

I pointed at each of them, stating that each one of them had a slim, easily crushable build.

"Me, on the other hand? If I get to a certain level, I could tank hits for literal days. Don't get me wrong, if I have the chance to use an actual offensive weapon, I'll take it, but this isn't nearly as bad as I'm sure you all think it is." I sat back down. "Whatever game you played, Motoyasu, my dear friend, was either broken or the people playing it were mentally deficient on a level only comprehensible by quantum mechanics." I finished.

Lancer looked at me, completely red in the face as the others seemed to ponder my words for a moment. Sighing, realizing I may have just antagonized Lancer like an idiot, I got up.

"I'm gonna get some fresh air. Call me if it's time to eat." I said curtly, before opening the door to the balcony and closing it behind me.

Pleasant wind hit my face as I stared out at the gorgeous sunset, bathing the city below in an orange glow that was amazing to look at. I felt the tension that had been building for a while now loosen, feeling my shoulders in particular sag like they'd been holding up a pile of boulders for hours.

My hands on the guard rail, I stared at the sunset, breathing in and out.

After a few moments of that, I looked at my shield. The damn thing still looked like it was staring at me with that green gem in it.

"Bah," I began. "Who cares what they think anyway? I'll just have to find someone to do the fighting for me and we'll be golden. Ain't the right, shield?"

The green gem seemed to say: 'not fucking likely'.

"I realize I'm talking to an inanimate object. A legendary inanimate object, but an object nonetheless… Well, whatever, if this is the first hurdle, I'll overcome it. And with you, maybe I'll get through it relatively unscathed, well, physically at least. Now then,"

I held my fist up, a goofy grin on my face as I imitated a pose a shounen protagonist might make. "Let's go on a motherfucking adventure!"

This poor fucker. He has no idea. He's about to become the true shield hero.

So I actually wrote most of this out of memory and a little bit of original dialogue added in there. Didn't just wanna retread canon situations, did I? Except one, of course.

Fun Fact: Most of the characters in Shield Hero are actually tiny compared to most people I know. Naofumi? He's like 5'2. The tallest person I had actually height for was Motoyasu and he was only 5'5. Weird the things you come upon in research.

So how was that? Took me a while to reach my groove for this but I'm pretty satisfied with the result. Or maybe this'll be forgotten and flamed to death, in which case, it has been fun while its lasted. But if it isn't, fantastic!

Got really nothing else to say here, so I hope you all have a good day!