Because of Me

Word count: 1,317

When Blaine is attacked and broken, he knows he needs to recover. But he never thought it'd be Kurt who needed help picking up the pieces.

A/N: This is my first story ever(!) so please try not to be harsh. All criticism is appreciated, and reviews are absolutely wonderful I'll try to update as regularly as possible, but those of you with busy schedules can hopefully sympathize with my situation. Enjoy!

The first thing I was aware of was the pain. Everywhere. It hurt; it hurt so badly I couldn't think. Couldn't begin to fathom where I was, even after I opened my eyes. All I could see was him, standing there like an angel. I wanted to just sit and stare, but the concerned look in his eyes worried me. I decided to try out my voice.

"Wha-?" My throat scratched, and I halted.

"Blaine! You're awake!" Kurt's big blue eyes stared down at me eagerly, but I didn't miss the shadows under them.

"Where am I? What happened? Why do you look so tired?" I asked, my pitch getting higher and my voice slightly louder with each word.

"You're in the hospital Blaine. Karofsky and those other Neanderthals attacked you," his eyes narrowed and he clenched his jaw, "you don't remember?"

"I can't remember a thing." The last thing I could remember was walking with Kurt to his car. We had been studying together in my dorm and I was spending the weekend with his family in Lima. I remembered walking past the Senior Commons, passing some Warblers, I even remembered waving to them. But after stepping outside, I recalled nothing. It was like someone had taken an eraser and swept my mind clean. "What day is it, anyways?"

"Monday," he stated grimly, "they had to keep you under because of your concussion."

"Concussion? What the hell happened to me?" Right after I asked the question, it hit me. And it hit me hard. Images flew through my brain at a breakneck pace, only stopping enough for me to see what they were. And then, it all slowed down and everything made sense. It was perfectly clear.

"Hey homo!" Karofsky had called, "got yourself a boyfriend?" He drew out the word, making it an insult. Beside me, Kurt's cheeks flushed a delicate pink. He put his head down and murmured to me to keep walking and ignore them. But I had other plans.

"Hey! Leave him alone! What are you so afraid of?" I had shouted, surprising myself with how close my shout was to Kurt's that day in the locker room. I shuddered. Where had mild tempered, charming Blaine gone?

"Getting exposed?" I prompted. Karofsky blanched. The second I said those words I regretted them. I could see the shift in Karofsky's eyes, the way he stood just a little broader, as he walked towards us.

"Hey homo! Why'd your little boyfriend," he twisted the word, "yell at me, huh? You know what I said I'd do if you told anyone. Or are you stupid enough to forget?" He lunged.

I stepped in front of Kurt just as Karofsky swung. And then there was pain. Blinding, mind blowing, unfathomable pain as he punched me again and again. The face, the stomach, the chest. All were under siege. And all I could think to do was run. All I wanted to do was run. But I remembered my last thought being about Kurt. I frowned, trying to remember. Then it came to me.

You ran once and you always regretted it. Stay. For Kurt.

And that's when everything went black.

"Blaine? Blaine!" Kurt shouted, bringing me out of my reverie. The look on my face must have been enough to show that I remembered because he nodded slightly before continuing, "I said, you have a concussion, three broken ribs, a broken nose, and a pretty nasty black eye."

His face was a picture of grief and guilt. I wondered why. Was his dad all right? He'd been out of the hospital for a while now, and he seemed pretty healthy. What about- oh. It must have been me. But why? I was going to be fine, it was obvious. Kurt still seemed pretty shaken up, though. It must be scary to be persecuted like that. He just had to know that I wouldn't ever let Karofsky attack him again.

"Hey Kurt, you okay?" I tried to sound casual, failing miserably.

He pretended not to notice. "I'm fine, why?" he asked, and the contrast of his expression and his statement seemed grimly humorous.

"Honestly?" he nodded, "I'm going to be fine Kurt, and so are you. I won't let them hurt you, I promise." I tried to sound as reassuring as possible.

"You're worried about me? You think I'm worried about ME? You think I'm worried about me when you're the one stuck in the hospital bed with a fricking concussion and you think I'm worried about me?" His tone was absolutely furious and his usually carefully chosen words were running together. I had never seen him this angry.

"Yes?" I supplied helpfully.

"No Blaine, no! What is wrong with you? What will it take for you to see that I lo- that I can't stand to see you hurt; I can't stand to see you in the hospital. And it's all because of me!"

"Kurt, I-"

"And don't you even think about interrupting me!" his eyes widened and a frantic look came into them, "If you had never met me you would never be in this position, and Karofsky would stick to hurting me and not anybody else. You know what?" a bitter tone came into his voice, "they say that the best way to hurt someone is to hurt the people they love. My mom, my dad, and now you Blaine."

And Kurt began to cry. Kurt, who had only cried at his father's bedside, unsure if he'd be alive, was crying. Kurt, who had held his head high at taunts, at bullying. Kurt, who was the bravest person I knew, was crying. I was speechless.

I put my hand on his arm, and we locked eyes. He'd said he loved me. I tried to put everything I wanted to say into mine, not wanting to break the connection. Where was my voice when I needed it most? Where was the voice that would sing everything I felt, that would wipe my troubles away? Why had my only weapon failed me when I had everything to lose? I could only gaze helplessly into those green-blue eyes. I love you too. I tried to tell him. I tried to break through my intense desire, my yearning, to show him the raw emotion. I couldn't stop staring. But eventually I looked away; surprised to find my cheeks wet with tears I hadn't felt. And perhaps that was the most terrifying thing of all.

I was his mentor. What was I doing crying? Crying because, well, because he was in pain. A mentor wouldn't do that. A mentor wouldn't try to tell his pupil he- he loved him, would he?

And now I was back. Perhaps not to square one, but not to square two either. I was somewhere in the middle of the two, hanging in between love and sanity, and knowing there was only one way to go from here. Up.

A/N: Not entirely pleased with how this turned out, but I'm happy I wrote it. In case you were wondering, my inspiration came from the beautiful fic Knife Going In by Keitorin Asthore, go read it if you haven't! In my eyes though, Blaine was the one attacked, and it was pure fear that drove Karofsky. Poor, confused Blaine. Sad, forsaken Kurt. This fic has got angst written all over it. Will there be love in the end? Stay tuned!