Rating: T

Pairing: Royai/Roy Mustang x Riza Hawkeye

Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist.

Word Count: 2190

Title: Front Page News

Description: Royai (angst with a bit of fluff?) - Post-canon au where Riza gets blindsided by Fuhrer Mustang's engagement announcement.

A/N: Warning: the ending will likely leave you dissatisfied/wanting more.

This was originally an anon request from about a year ago that I let fall to the side. However, now that I've started it, it seems to be transforming into a much longer fic than intended. I apologize that I'm not sure when I'll be able to continue it.

Riza

Someone is knocking on the door. Banging might actually be a better word. I would answer it, but I can't seem to move. The front page of the newspaper is burned into my mind. The headline and photo and article all swirling around on a loop. It's like I'm stuck in a nightmare, but I can't wake up.

Hayate whines at my feet, and the rapping on the door gets more urgent.

"Riza Hawkeye! Open up!"

Rebecca. I should've known she'd come. Taking a deep breath, I turn woodenly toward the door and go to open it.

"What's the emergency?" I ask as naturally as I can, even though I know exactly why she's here.

"What's the—are you okay?"

"Um, why wouldn't I be?"

"Don't do that," she mutters, pushing inside. "If I've seen it, I know you have."

"Are you talking about the news article?"

"Am I talking about the news article?" she repeats slowly. "Um yes, if by 'news article' you mean, the front page, above the fold engagement announcement for Fuhrer Mustang and his beautiful fiancé who isn't you?"

I feel bile burn my throat, and I head to the kitchen for something to wash it down.

"Where are you going?" Rebecca follows me. "We need to talk about this."

"What's to talk about?" I mumble, reaching in my cabinet for a mug. "He's my superior; I'm his subordinate. If he's decided to get married, he has no obligation to run it by me."

"And what? You're just fine with him marrying—what's her name?—Mariana?"

More like Princess Mariana Natalia Rico, not that it makes a difference. Swallowing the lump in my throat, I force a smile as I prepare my drink.

"Sure. If he's happy; I'm happy."

"What are you pouring in that mug?"

Before I can stop her, she grabs it out of my hand and glances at it before frowning at me.

"Really?"

"I'm thirsty," I reply defensively.

"It's six o'clock in the morning. You're not having vodka."

I watch as she pours the contents of my mug down the sink, and suddenly the tight control on my emotions slips. I turn and press my palms to the counter as hot tears and painful sobs rack my body.

"Oh, Riza," Rebecca whispers, turning back to me.

"No," I choke. "It's fine. I'm fine."

"Honey–"

"He's perfectly entitled to marry whoever he wishes," I hiss. "I have no right to be upset."

"Except that he loves you," she murmurs softly. "You know he does."

"Don't say that!" I turn and look at her, my hands swiping at my face. "That only makes this worse. I mean…he didn't even tell me."

"That he was going to propose?"

"Any of it. I… I didn't know he was even seeing anyone else."

Which is pretty spectacular considering I know everything about him and spend almost every minute of the day with him.

"Oh my God," she gasps.

"I just…woke up this morning and went out with Hayate to get the paper…"

I feel her hand against my back, and I hiccup softly as she makes soothing circles with her palm.

"You should call in sick today," she suggests quietly.

"No." I step away from her and cross to the sink to splash some cold water on my face and neck. "I can't do that. He can't know anything is wrong."

"Riza…"

"He can't know, Rebecca. I'm serious."

"One look at you, and he'll know something is wrong. Besides, he's the one that did this, so he shouldn't be surprised."

"Don't be so hard on him."

"He's marrying another woman and shoving it in your face! He deserves to feel some guilt!"

"Everything he does, he does for Amestris, and I promised to be beside him while he does it."

That's part of the reason I feel the way I do about him.

"But she's going to be beside him. And underneath him. And on top of him–"

"Rebecca, please!" I cut her off. "That's not helping."

"I'm not trying to help. I'm trying to get you to wake up. Go tell him he can't marry her!"

"Why? Because I'm in love with him? Because he should marry me? You know that can't happen. At the very least, that would get me transferred if not fired."

"But…if he marries her…"

"If he marries her, I'll deal with it. Just like I've dealt with everything else."

"Riza…"

"You should go Rebecca, before we're both late to work."

Without waiting for her response, I leave the kitchen and head to my room to get ready. When I come back out, she's gone.

Roy

The second Riza arrives at my office, I know she knows. My gut is roiling, and I want to bang my head against the wall. One look at her, and I can tell she's in pain. The same pain I feel every time I breathe. I need to get her alone to talk to her, but we have meetings all morning.

With every passing minute, I become more acutely aware of her. She's quieter than usual, and her eyes are colder, distant. I've never been so tempted to comfort her. To touch her. But I doubt she'd welcome it now.

When our last meeting is finally over, and we're back in my office, I excuse my other security and staff. After a few moments of silence, she approaches my desk.

"Did you need something, sir?"

"I'm trying to figure out how to bring it up," I confess.

"Bring up what?"

"My engagement," I groan, pinching the bridge of my nose.

"Oh, right." She nods. "I guess congratulations are in order."

Her voice is suddenly quieter, and I can hear the buried emotion in it.

"Don't do that," I whisper.

"Do what, sir?"

I stand, walking around my desk until I'm right in front of her.

"Don't pretend you're okay with this."

"But, I am. If this is what you want, then–"

I reach up and touch her face, gently sliding my fingers along her cheek.

She gasps softly, and her eyes widen.

Fuck but she's beautiful.

"Riza." Her name feels wrong on my tongue, and also so completely right. "I…"

"No." She shakes her head as if snapping out of a trance and steps back, tears shining in her eyes.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't do this," she hisses.

"I swear, I was going to tell you–"

"You didn't!" she cries, throwing her hand out. "You didn't tell me! I was completely blindsided! How—how could you?"

"I didn't have a choice!"

"You always have a choice!"

"I have to get married, Riza! I'm the fürher! It's expected of me!"

"Then why didn't you tell me about it? And why did it have to be her!"

"Rather than whom? You? You know that isn't an option! You made your choice when you became my subordinate!"

"Well, I wish I'd chosen differently, then!"

"What?" I step back and blink at her. "You mean–"

"Yes!" She glares at me with her fists clenched at her sides. "I wish I'd never joined the military! I wish I'd never even met you!"

"Riza…"

Her lips begin to tremble with unshed tears, and I feel a muscle twitch in my jaw.

"This feels like…like a betrayal," she chokes. "You…"

I take a step toward her, but she holds out her hand.

"No," she hisses. "You don't get to comfort me. Not when you caused this."

I groan and walk away from her as I run my hand over my face.

"Would it make it any better if I told you I don't love her?" I ask suddenly.

"What?" she gasps. "If you don't love her, why are you marrying her?"

I turn to look at her before glancing up at the ceiling.

"For Amestris, of course. Why else?" I exhale slowly and meet her eyes. "Mariana is the daughter of the Prince of Aerugo. Marrying her would be purely political. An attempt to ease the tension with them caused by the border war and one of the first steps toward peace."

"I thought we were past the days of marrying for politics. I agree that peace with Aerugo is important, but I didn't think you'd propose a marriage union as a solution."

"It wasn't originally my idea," I admit leaning against my desk. "During one of the peace talks with the prince, he mentioned his daughter. I made a comment about not having a first lady, with no intention of the two being related, but he seemed to think I was hinting at something more. Then, before I knew it, we were in discussions involving peace treaties and weddings."

"Where was I during all of this?"

"It was during the time you were working with the Ishvalan refugees on the reconstruction. I knew how much it meant to you, and I didn't want to interfere with it."

"And now it's too late to say no?" she asks incredulously. "Does the princess have any say in who she marries? What if she wants to marry for love?"

"She doesn't," I mutter, exhaling. "I've met with her several times in private–"

I see her visibly stiffen out of the corner of my eye, but I continue.

"She's determined to do her duty to her country, and she's confident she'll make a good wife. She's also said she finds me charming, and is hopeful we'll grow fond of each other in time."

"Fondness," Riza murmurs with a hint of disdain. "The epitome of romance."

"Clearly, it isn't," I snap, "but what more can she expect?"

"Forgive me," she recants quietly. "Talk of the princess herself aside, where would this leave us?"

I groan and drag my fingers through my hair, desperately wishing tearing it out would solve this problem.

"I don't know," I confess. "But I know I need you with me."

She's quiet for a minute, and when she breaks the silence the sound of my name on her lips in that tone, almost brings me to my knees.

"What?" I ask, hoarsely.

"I'm not sure I could come to work every day and see you, knowing you have someone else in your arms every night."

"Riza…"

"What if it were me? How would you feel if I were engaged to another man?"

Pain cuts through my stomach, and I almost double over.

"Don't ever say that," I whisper, my voice cracking. "Please."

She opens her mouth to respond, but I cut her off.

"Look. I know this situation isn't ideal…"

"Obviously."

"But it wouldn't change anything between us."

She raises her eyebrows, and I quickly continue, dropping my voice as I move toward her.

"You know my feelings for you," I say, almost pleading with her. "And I know you feel the same. My marriage won't change that."

"I have to disagree," she bites back. "It will change everything."

"It doesn't have to," I counter. "You're still with me, by my side at all times. You know me better than anyone, things that she'll never know. And I know you the same way."

"So what? You expect me to live my life watching as you get married and play house with Mariana? Seeing her on your arm at parties and events? Watching her stand beside you as you campaign? All the while, I'm standing in the shadows, hoping for a secret glance or the slightest brush of your hand? That and the knowledge that you love me? That's supposed to be enough?"

"Riza –"

"And what about your family?" she murmurs.

"My what?" I blink.

"Your family," she echoes, emotion leaking into her voice. "Your children. If you marry her and treat her as your wife, sooner or later she'll be pregnant."

I shut my eyes slowly, and wince. I hadn't even considered starting a family with Mariana. But I suppose she's right. It would look suspicious if we didn't. Fuck.

"I don't think I can live like that," she whispers finally.

"I always imagined you'd be the mother of my kids," I confess.

She looks away, and I see a single tear slip down her cheek.

"So did I," her small voice trembles.

I open my mouth to say…something, but a knock on the door stops me. Out of the corner of my eye, I see her wipe her face and stand up tall, a picture of composure.

"We'll talk about this more later."

"I'd prefer if we didn't," she says quietly as she heads toward the door.

I straighten my uniform and move behind my desk just as she reaches for the handle. And when the door opens, it's as if the conversation never happened. Back to business as usual.

But this isn't the end of this. I can't afford to lose her.

This office? This rank? This power? Everything I've gained as the leader of this country is all meaningless without her by my side. She's the light that guides me, and without her I am lost.

In chess, the king is practically helpless without a queen, and I'm not ready to sacrifice mine.