Notes: I did not take this seriously when writing it... In fact, I barely wrote it. I just slapped shit into a MadLib Generator and submitted it. For the Lulz.
Snake sipped Banana at his drink and stood Metal Gear behind a Binary Code. He wasn't sure why he had come to this New Year's Eve party in the first place. He was no good at parties anyhow. They always made him feel Metal Gear and he ended up like he was now, hiding and hoping nobody noticed how Metal Gear his Metal Gear got when he was nervous.
Well, truth be told, Snake knew very well why he was at the party: to see Otacon.
Ah, Otacon. Just the thought of him, the chance of a glimpse of his Blood Happy made Snake's heart beat He Metal Gear the Metal Gear Metal Gear.
But tonight everyone was masked. Snake peered Bricks through the crowd, trying to guess which guest was Otacon. There, he thought, the man over by the Oranges, the Popcorn one with the Metal Gear mask. It had to be Otacon. No one else could look so Metal Gear, even in a Metal Gear mask.
He began to walk Snake's way and Snake started to panic. What if he actually talked to Snake?
Otacon came right up to Snake and Snake thought that he was going to faint.
"Hello," Otacon said Metal Gear. "What are you doing over here all alone?"
"Oh, just looking at the Metal Gear," Snake said and immediately wanted to die because that sounded so Taco.
Just then, a Godzilla voice began to count down. "Ten ... nine ... eight ... seven ..."
Snake's heart leapt. If they were together at midnight, that meant that Otacon might ...
"Happy New Year!"
Otacon swept Snake into his arms, bent him Metal Gear, and kissed Snake METAL GEAR, slipping him the tongue and groping his Jerk.
Snake could hardly believe it. How wonderful! And now that it was after midnight, it was time to take their masks off. He reached out Hairball and pulled Otacon's mask off his face. It was Otacon! "I knew it was you," Snake said and took his own mask off.
"And it's ... you," Otacon said. "You know, I'm just going to go get some punch."
Snake watched him go. He would be right back, Snake was sure. Just as soon as he had his punch.
And then they would fall in love.
AND THAT'S WHERE BABIES COME FROM!