Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by George Lucas. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
Author's Note: My response to the Proverbs Roulette Challenge on another site. My proverb was "Out of sight, out of mind", hence the title. I came up with the idea in about 2 seconds and wrote this little vignette in about 5 minutes, so it's not my best work. But at least I had a little bit of fun with it. Comments are, of course, very much appreciated!
Out of Sight, Out of Mind
He traced a finger along the edge of the windowsill, traced it along the edge of his desk, traced the niches in the wood. All the while his eyes stared absently out the window, not focusing, seeing nothing. He could hear the pitter-patter of rain against the windowpane. Beneath his feet, the air conditioner kicked on, and he tugged the blanket up over his shoulders, holding it in place with one hand as he traced the words carved into his desk.
"Alyce hearts Jaymison."
Whoever had owned this desk before him must have been just as bored and lonely as he was. He almost considered taking out a knife and engraving his own name next to theirs.
"Anakin hearts Padmé."
The wind picked up speed, the raindrops were relentless. The pitter-patter soon escalated into a roaring swoosh-swoosh-splash. Anakin's teeth chattered. He rested his forehead against the top of the desk, pulling the blanket up over his head. He wanted to tell Obi-Wan to turn off the air conditioner, but that would only make matters worse. He was already in trouble as it was.
"I really hate this place, you know."
"Do you, now?"
"Yes!"
"And why is that?"
"Because it's lonely and cold and everyone hates me! I miss home."
"Attachments are forbidden, Anakin. You know that. It is best to let go of your past, to focus on the future. Out of sight, out of mind."
"Huh?"
"What is past is past, and it's time you stopped moping about and took your training seriously."
"What makes you think I don't take my training seriously?"
After that, Anakin had smarted off, and Obi-Wan had sent him to his room to "think about his behavior", but no matter how much he thought about it, he would never agree with Obi-Wan.
He missed home. He missed his mother – her smell, her embrace, her whispered words of love and encouragement when everyone else in the world seemed like they were out to get him. He missed coming home to a happy house, a perfect house, a house that wasn't cold or smelly or uncomfortable. He missed climbing into bed at night, wrapped in soft sheets – not the scratchy ones that Obi-Wan had given him. Sometimes he even missed Tatooine. He missed his friends, playing outside in the heat, laughing and running and causing all sorts of trouble. He missed being able to smile whenever he wanted and love whoever he wanted to love.
He missed Padmé, but he knew that he would never see her again. He was a Jedi, and she was the Queen of Naboo. She had no need of him. He missed her pretty smile, her floral perfume, her elegant hair styles... He missed the way she had sometimes looked at him, like he actually meant something in the galaxy. Not the way the Jedi looked at him. Not the way Obi-Wan looked at him. To them, he was a tool, "The Chosen One", to be used at their disposal whenever they saw fit. He was expendable.
"I miss you, Padmé," he mumbled into his blanket, hoping that Obi-Wan hadn't heard.
He hoped she was happy, wherever she was. He certainly wasn't.
But maybe things would change. Maybe someday the Jedi would learn to appreciate him. Maybe Obi-Wan would learn to care about him. Maybe he would feel like he actually belonged. Something inside of him – his conscience, maybe – told him that, with time, everything would be set right. He didn't need Tatooine or his mother or Padmé. He had to take care of himself.
What was past was past. It was gone, and he would never see it again. He would never see Tatooine again. He would never see Padmé again. He may never even see his mother again.
The air conditioner kicked off, and Anakin sat up straight, shrugging off his blanket.
Out of sight, out of mind.
He hadn't even realized that the rain had stopped. The sun, a small, round disc in the sky – not at all like the twin suns of Tatooine that he had grown so used to – shone through the clouds, just barely, and birds sang to each other near his window. Behind him, the door to his room opened and booted feet thumped behind him, floorboards creaking.
"Anakin."
"Yes?"
He turned around to see Obi-Wan step inside, closing the door as he did so. It was a habit of his, Anakin had noticed, to always close the door, even if they were the only two living beings in the house at the time. It was creepy.
"Master?" he asked again.
Obi-Wan crept closer, seeming almost hesitant, like a nervous child.
"Forgive me." That was unexpected. "I know how much you cared for your mother. I apologize."
"But I thought-"
"Never mind that. I shouldn't have been so cross with you, Padawan. But remember to keep your temper in check. I don't want to hear any more smart remarks from you. Understood?"
"Yes, Master."
Obi-Wan turned to leave, stopping at the door. "Oh, and Anakin?"
"Yes?"
"Are you in the mood for a holovid? That is, if you've forgiven me."
"Sounds great, Master." Anakin smiled his usual charming half-grin, standing up to bow awkwardly. "Out of sight, out of mind."
Obi-Wan smiled back, chuckling as he shook his head, and it seemed like things were finally shaping up.
Fin.