A/N: (This is just a merge and edit of my previous chapters. Sorry, but the shortness of them bugged me.)
:waves shyly: Hi, everyone. I'm Shadow Phantazy. :3 I used to write humor fanfics here a long time ago, but I quit when they both were deleted. And now, I'm back! This fic sprung from one of my most recent plotbunnies and from reading too many Mary Sue fics. I really need to improve my writing, so any feedback would be welcome. Oh, and thanks to my friend Twilight Scribe for helping me out. She's given me enough confidence to finally submit this here. :gives e-cookies:
Anyway, I'm done rambling, on to the fic!
Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts. At all. So don't sue(HA! Sue me! Get it:shot for bad pun:) me, plzkthxbai. Oh, and Raimei and May are mine.
Simple and Sue
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"Riku..." Raimei Hellfire Obsidian Kawaisoune whispered. The island wind blew her blood-streaked ebony locks to obscure her porcelain features of her face and ruffled the midnight feathers of her outspread wings. She reached towards the tall man in front of her and pulled him into a warm embrace.
"Riku..." She whispered again, laying her head on his strong shoulder. "I... love you." Her beautiful ruby eyes filled with crystalline tears and she hugged him fiercely.
"I love you Riku! You're the only one who can remove the deep darkness in my heart. But..." She choked back a sob and looked up. His long silver hair obscured his vivid sea-green eyes, but a small smile played on his lips.
"Please..." she breathed. "Tell me... whether you feel the same about me. I want... no," She tightened her grip, grasping the back of his shirt. "I need to know."
Riku took her chin in his hand and gently pulled her face to his, so close his warm breath brushed against her lips.
"You..." His voice was like an angels'. Raimei's heart caught in her chest. She prayed he would say the words she longed to hear.
He didn't.
"...really need a life."
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May woke up with a sudden jolt and an odd pain on the side of her face. Sitting up, she realized she'd fallen asleep with her face on the keyboard. She groaned and reached for her glasses as she tried to figure out what just happened. Her searching hand brushed past the mouse, causing the computer monitor on her desk to flicker to life. Familiar lines of text and a blinking email alert jogged her memory. She was waiting for reviews on the newest chapter of her fic when she fell asleep. In fact, the dream she had almost exactly mimicked the events of the latest part. Barring that last line of course. She scowled as she remembered Riku's response. It was probably the bad reviews she'd gotten. A couple of idiots had practically flamed her, calling her beloved Raimei 'an uncreative, unrealistic Mary Sue.' and that she'd 'completely destroyed Riku's character'. May, of course, thought about it and decided on the most sensible way to respond to the accusations.
She flamed them right back.
Really, she'd spent hours (one) on creating Raimei, she was very realistic because she'd based her after her own personality (Only with a few, alright, a lot of changes), and that there was no way Riku could not fall in love with her. (After all, who wouldn't love Raimei?)
But, despite her attempts, it looked as though the bad reviewers from before were undaunted and returned for another jab at her fanfic. She growled and wondered if this website had a ban user option. As she waded through the FAQ page, she thought she saw something move out of the corner of her eye.
Was that...?
May turned around in her chair and looked around. Nothing in the dark room behind her had changed. "... I need to stop staying up so late... I'm starting to imagine things..." She laughed quietly and spun back around to face the shadow heartless that was now sitting on her desk.
May shrieked and shoved the shadow heartless away. It went flying through the air and landed against the wall, dazed. May stared at in horror.
Oh God, oh God, what do I do?! I need a Keyblade!
She looked around the room frantically.
Keyblade, keyblade, keyblade... key... key...
Her gaze landed on the keyboard sitting on her desk.
Close enough.
The shadow finally managed to stagger to its feet, watching May from the other side of the room. It shook once then staggered forward. May watched warily, gripping the edge of her makeshift weapon.
Okay May, what would Raimei do?
The obvious answer was... kill it in the most flashy way possible.
"PREPARE TO DIE, HEARTLESS!"
She crouched low and jumped on the shadow, smacking it on the head with her keyboard. It instantly disappeared, leaving behind a trail of dark smoke, HP balls and 10 munny.
I... did it?
...I really actually did it?
... I killed a real live shadow heartless?
OH MY GOD. HEARTLESS ARE REAL.
KINGDOM HEARTS IS REAL.
May squealed and hugged her newfound weapon to her chest. It wasn't the most ... glamorous weapon, but who cares? She could fight heartless with it. And if she could fight heartless then...
"I CAN GO LOOKING FOR RIKU!"
Grinning, she knelt down next to what was left of the heartless. A smirk spread across her face.
"Pathetic."
Running to her window, she yanked it open and yelled to the dark sky.
"IS THAT ALL YOU'VE GOT?"
That was right before a huge black hand ripped off her roof.
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The Darkside that towered over her house eyed her silently for a moment. A small squeak escaped May as she was frozen in place, staring at it. Until it started to reach for her. She screamed again and backed against the wall, forgetting that her window was still open. As she leaned backwards against the screen, it gave way, leaving her to fall a floor into the bushes. The Darkside seemed oblivious of her escape and continued to search, ripping up the house room by room. Winded, May lay there in the bushes for a while, trying to decide what to do. Again, she tried to think of what Raimei would do in this situation. Dozens of ideas came to her, all of them centered around kicking heartless ass.
And then she realized that she wasn't Raimei and made up her own option.
Running like hell.
May scrambled out of the bushes and made a mad dash for the woods that bordered her house. Finished destroying her home, the Darkside looked down and saw May fleeing for her life. It started towards her but stopped abruptly as though something was in its way.
"Enough. I will deal with the girl now."
A dark portal rent the sky above and the Darkside was blasted backwards into it.
The creator of the portal raised their staff. Bright green flames flared out of nowhere and traced a path into the woods.
She smirked.
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May was running blindly though the woods when green flames raced past her to block her path. She skidded to a halt and whipped around. A figure, wrapped in the same green flames slid out of the shadows in front of her.
With a chill, she realized she knew who the person was.
"Maleficent."
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A/N: Woo, cliffhanger:3 Well, what do you think? Please review, even if it's a flame. I'll respond to any reviews in the next A/N.
Random fact:
Raimei, depending on the Kanji used can either translate to thunder, or to fame/renown. I figured that's the sort of thing a fangirl might name her Sue. Also, I liked how Mei, if pronounced properly, sounds the same as May. And Kawaisoune translates to how pathetic. Yay, random fangirl Japanese!
Until the next chapter,
Shadow Phantazy