Title: Running Deep
Author: meremortal2k3@yahoo.co.uk
Rating: 15
Pairing: Helena/Dinah
Disclaimer: I don't own them; I just enjoy making them miserable
Author's notes: This ones plot 'o' plenty - no smut. Thank you Lena for beta'ing
....................................
Stark corridors stretched for miles. The smell of disinfectants and death filled her nostrils. She felt sick to her stomach and her eyes hurt from crying so much. If it hadn't been for Alfred driving her to the hospital, she would've still been kneeling on the cold concrete floor of the parking garage, sobbing her heart and soul out.
Dinah wished that Alfred had come in with her. She didn't really understand why he hadn't wanted to, they were all like family - perhaps it was just too painful for him to see 'her' in that condition.
The young blonde had never felt so much pain as when she had received the news. A telephone call - short but definitely not sweet.
"Get over to Gotham General now . I don't think she's going to make it."
There was so much heartache in those few words that Dinah had no choice but to believe and obey.
A fresh wave of tears trickled from her puffy azure eyes as Dinah neared the room. Taking a deep breath, wiping her face with a ragged tissue as she did so, the young woman opened that door and stepped in.
"What happened? Dinah felt her chest constrict. She gripped the metal frame of the bed to steady herself.
"She fell."
"Helena doesn't just fall."
"She did this time. "Barbara's voice was almost a whisper. She held onto her friend's hand as though it were a lifeline. The redhead thought it was strangely amusing, in a morbid fashion, that Helena's two hands contained the only unbroken bones in her entire body. Anyone else, especially from that height, would have died instantly. But Helena Kyle was still alive - barely.
"Is she going to be okay?" It was a stupid question but Dinah felt compelled to ask it.
Barbara swallowed hard as she looked up into crystal blue eyes, eyes that had seen so much hurt in such a short lifetime. "The doctors don't know until she wakes up."
"So she is going to wake up?"
The flame haired older woman shook her head. She was hopeful but doubtful at the same time. "We just don't know."
"She'll be okay, Barbara." Dinah didn't know if she was trying to convince the redhead or herself. "With Helena's meta-abilities . she'll be awake in no time."
Barbara squeezed her eyes shut at her wards words. She felt a tear erupt from between her eyelids and meander down her cheeks. Her chin trembled with the effort of trying to stop herself from crying. She didn't want to brake down. She wanted to be strong for Dinah even though she was losing her best friend. "I don't think . Helena's," The older woman stifled a sob at the mention of the brunette's name. ". I don't think . her . meta- healing . is working. I think she's given up." Barbara smoothed darkened bangs away from the younger woman's unrecognisable face. "I . think she gave up a while ago."
If she hadn't have been holding onto the bed-frame, Dinah felt sure that she would have hit the floor. She was shaking hard and she was finding it difficult to breathe. A terrible thought entered her head as she mulled over the reasoning behind her guardians words.
'What if Helena hadn't just fallen or been pushed? What if Helena had jumped?'
Helena hadn't been the same since Harleen Quinzel had raped her mind and made her kill Wade. Helena hadn't been able to get over how she had murdered the man and caused her best friend so much pain. It wasn't her fault; everyone believed it except for the one person who needed to believe it the most - Helena.
She had changed. Her visits to the Clock Tower became more and more infrequent. Eventually, Helena stopped coming by altogether. She had continued her nightly sweeps without the help of Oracle and Canary.
Helena Kyle had become severely depressed, so depressed that Barbara had tried to convince her into seeing another psychiatrist. The brunette had balked at her suggestion and left. Dinah was sure that Barbara hadn't seen her since, but she had.
....................................
2 Nights Previous
Dinah started as she flicked on the light to the pitch black kitchen to find Helena sitting at the table. Neither she nor Barbara had seen the brunette in almost two weeks. The blonde had gone to her apartment to find it empty - to find that she had paid up and moved out. Helena had also quit her job at the Darkhorse and even Gibson hadn't seen her, ever since he had had to ask her to leave the bar for causing a drunken brawl.
Dinah had been worried sick and now here she was. "Jesus, Hel. What happened to you?"
The brunette looked up from where she was trying to stitch up a cut on her elbow. She hadn't even noticed Dinah as she had come into the kitchen or when she had switched the lights on. Usually, she realised the moment when her eyes morphed to and from their cat-like state, but not this time.
"I got into a fight - scumbag motherfuckers." Helena growled as she pressed the needle in a little too deep.
"I'll go and fetch Barbara."
"No." Huntress was in front of Dinah before she had even had the chance to turn around. "I don't want Barbara to see me like this."
The blonde lifted her hand to touch the other woman's bruised face and split lip, but Helena moved out of reach. Azure eyes took in the worse for wear, battered look of her friend and crime fighting partner. "Then let me."
"No."
"Helena."
"Don't, Di. I'm fine." The older woman dropped her eyes to the table so that she could avoid the way piercing blue eyes were looking at her. "I just didn't have the stuff to clean this up." She lifted her elbow to show the nasty cut. "I'll be gone real soon."
Dinah sighed heavily. She rubbed at her sleepy eyes and grabbed for a glass of ice-cold milk. She offered the brunette a drink as she returned to her suturing and got a shake of her head as a reply. The younger woman sat at the opposite end of the table. "You moved."
Helena nodded.
"Aren't you going to tell us where to?"
Helena shook her head. She chewed on her lower lip as she concentrated on her elbow. "Just give me a little more time."
"What's going on with you?"
The older woman blinked owlishly before running a hand through her slightly longer than normal hair. "Nothing." She pushed herself away from the table and stood so that she could put the first aid kit back in the cupboard.
Dinah was on her feet and by the brunette's side before she had even realised it. She reached for Helena's arm and turned her around. Pale blue eyes searched cobalt, looking for the hidden reasons behind her actions. She was not going to 'read' the other woman with her powers, especially after what Quinzel had done, she was going to try the old fashioned way. Dinah was surprised at just how blank those steel blue eyes were. "Come home."
"No."
"Please, let us help you." Dinah pleaded. She had a really bad feeling and she didn't want the other woman to leave.
Helena tried to pull away but she didn't have the strength to fight the teenager. "I don't need your help . not anymore. Everything is going to be fine." She tried to smile but it never reached her eyes.
"Don't go."
"I've got to."
"But . but ." Dinah struggled. There was something she wanted to say, something she needed to say, but she didn't know if now was the right time.
"Spit it out, Di. There's something I have to do." Ebony eyebrows knitted with impatience.
Dinah pressed her lips to Helena's.
For a split second she felt the other woman respond by moving closer, then she pulled away. The all too brief kiss was broken.
"I think . I love you."
Helena smiled weakly. "I love you too, kid."
Golden hair swung loosely as the teenager shook her head. "No. I mean ."
"I know what you mean. Don't do this to yourself." The brunette took a step backwards, away from Dinah and closer to her exit. "I can't give you what you want, so, forget about it."
"I can't help the way I feel."
"Neither can I."
Dinah moved closer. "I want to be with you, Hel. I want to help you."
"I don't wanna hurt you." Helena breathed as the space between them dwindled.
"Tell me you don't want me." To hear the words from the other woman's mouth was the only way that Dinah would believe her. They had been close before all of the Harleen Quinzel business, and they had been getting closer. She had noticed the looks and the lingering touches, she had even returned them. The blonde felt for sure that Helena felt the same way as she did.
"Don't make me say it, Dinah."
"Say it."
The brunette looked down at the wooden flooring beneath her feet and took a deep breath before raising her eyes to meet the younger woman's. "I don't want you and I don't love you the way you want me to . I'm not capable of loving anyone anymore. So, forget about me. This thing you want is never going to happen." It had been callous; she could've said it better. Helena watched as tears filled Dinah's pale blue eyes. She turned around and walked away.
....................................
"Dinah!"
The blonde was startled from her reverie by her guardian. She flicked her gaze towards the bed just to make sure that Helena was still there. "Sorry, Barbara. I was just thinking."
"I've been doing a lot of that too."
Fine golden eyebrows dove as she frowned. Dinah looked between her guardian and the woman she was in love with. She hadn't even heard Barbara's words as an idea come to her mind.
"I can help her."
Emerald orbs connected with thoughtful blue. "No." Barbara dismissed the girl's ideas before she had even voiced them. "There is no way that you are going to enter Helena's mind."
"Why not?" Dinah glared. She crossed her arms over her chest. "I could help her. I could convince her not to give up . and that we're here for her."
"No." She repeated. "It's too dangerous."
"I can do it."
"I've no doubt about your abilities, Dinah." Barbara relinquished her hold on her best friend's hand and wheeled herself around the bed until she was in front of the adamant blonde. "It's just too dangerous."
"But we could lose her." The younger woman's eyes filled with tears. She knew that her guardian was only trying to protect her but she also knew that she was Helena's only chance. Dinah had to get inside the brunette's mind and convince her to fight for her life.
"And if you're in there when it happens ." Breath hitched in Barbara's throat as she thought about the consequences. "I could lose you too."
The blonde pulled the older woman into her body and hugged her tight. "I'm so sorry, Barbara, but it's a risk I'm willing to take." Concentrating hard, she felt the other woman go limp in her arms.
Barbara was sleeping in her wheelchair as Dinah neared the bed. She pulled a plastic chair closer to the prone figure of the brunette and sat down. Carefully, she lifted Helena's hand into her own.
As a white mist swirled in front of her closed eyes, Dinah slumped forward.
....................................
Dinah blinked her eyes rapidly, the sun was low in the sky and it glared at her angrily. She shielded her eyes with her hand and spun around to look at her surroundings.
The blonde was standing in the middle of a large grassy field with a pale blue sky above. There was nothing but green and blue in every direction.
Suddenly, a chain-link fence dropped from the sky. With a deafening boom three more metal fences dropped from above and buried themselves securely in the soft earth. Four very high barriers surrounded her. A fifth fell and became a covering.
Dinah winced and covered her ears as each piece of metal secured itself to the other with a screeching sound. She was in the middle of a cage and then Helena was there with her.
Helena sat on the grass with her knees pulled into her chest and her head resting on top. She was looking out of the cage, just staring. Dinah touched her shoulder but didn't get a reaction. Her azure eyes followed the direction of cobalt.
A svelte blonde with amazingly blue eyes stood on the other side of the fence. Her mouth was moving but from inside the cage they could hear no sound from outside.
"Who is that?" Dinah puzzled at the familiar looking woman.
"My mother." Helena never removed her eyes from the older woman. "She's waiting for me. I thought that she'd be happy . but . she looks so sad." The brunette's voice was almost monotone as she spoke. "I know that she's trying to tell me something, but I just can't hear her."
Dinah glanced up at the sky as the sun kissed the earth. Crimson and gold streaked across the darkening blue. Azure eyes caught the flicker of movement from beyond the fence.
"You need to be going soon." Helena had also noticed the visitor.
The blonde teenager returned her mother's smile as Caroline Lance gave her daughter a little wave. "Come back with me, Hel."
The brunette shook her head. "You shouldn't be here, Dinah. Go . before it's too late."
"Is that why my mom's here?" Dinah looked down at her tingling hands. "I'm dying too, aren't I?"
"It's a long time dead, Di. Don't come back."
"I'm not leaving you here all alone." The blonde sat down next to her friend and pulled her knees up to her chest. She tilted her head to the side so that she could see the other woman.
"I'm not going to be here much longer, anyways." She was still staring out at her mother, trying to read her lips.
Dinah focused her pale blue eyes on the women outside of the cage. "Don't say that." She breathed out in to the cooling air.
As another woman approached the fencing, Helena turned to the teenager. She watched the girl's forehead crease as she tired to see who the other woman was. It was no use staring because the new arrival was wearing a dark hood that hid her face. To Helena the woman was death, waiting to take her away. She was no longer scared of death; she had invited her to the party after all.
Dinah could feel her body tremble. She noticed the fear her mother and Selina Kyle felt as they backed away from the fence. "I love you, Hel and I'm gonna be right here with you. I'm not leaving unless you come with me." Even if it meant dying inside of the brunette's mind she would not go without her.
Helena reached out and cupped the young blonde's chin, tugging until their eyes met. "I can't come with you . even if I wanted to." She sighed at the pained look in cerulean blue. "You've seen me out there . you've seen what I did to myself." Liquid cobalt spilled.
Dinah pressed her lips to Helena's. She didn't wait for the rejection this time before she pulled away. It was just a sweet kiss as blackness leaked across the sky like spilled ink. "Then I guess that I'm staying right here."
Author: meremortal2k3@yahoo.co.uk
Rating: 15
Pairing: Helena/Dinah
Disclaimer: I don't own them; I just enjoy making them miserable
Author's notes: This ones plot 'o' plenty - no smut. Thank you Lena for beta'ing
....................................
Stark corridors stretched for miles. The smell of disinfectants and death filled her nostrils. She felt sick to her stomach and her eyes hurt from crying so much. If it hadn't been for Alfred driving her to the hospital, she would've still been kneeling on the cold concrete floor of the parking garage, sobbing her heart and soul out.
Dinah wished that Alfred had come in with her. She didn't really understand why he hadn't wanted to, they were all like family - perhaps it was just too painful for him to see 'her' in that condition.
The young blonde had never felt so much pain as when she had received the news. A telephone call - short but definitely not sweet.
"Get over to Gotham General now . I don't think she's going to make it."
There was so much heartache in those few words that Dinah had no choice but to believe and obey.
A fresh wave of tears trickled from her puffy azure eyes as Dinah neared the room. Taking a deep breath, wiping her face with a ragged tissue as she did so, the young woman opened that door and stepped in.
"What happened? Dinah felt her chest constrict. She gripped the metal frame of the bed to steady herself.
"She fell."
"Helena doesn't just fall."
"She did this time. "Barbara's voice was almost a whisper. She held onto her friend's hand as though it were a lifeline. The redhead thought it was strangely amusing, in a morbid fashion, that Helena's two hands contained the only unbroken bones in her entire body. Anyone else, especially from that height, would have died instantly. But Helena Kyle was still alive - barely.
"Is she going to be okay?" It was a stupid question but Dinah felt compelled to ask it.
Barbara swallowed hard as she looked up into crystal blue eyes, eyes that had seen so much hurt in such a short lifetime. "The doctors don't know until she wakes up."
"So she is going to wake up?"
The flame haired older woman shook her head. She was hopeful but doubtful at the same time. "We just don't know."
"She'll be okay, Barbara." Dinah didn't know if she was trying to convince the redhead or herself. "With Helena's meta-abilities . she'll be awake in no time."
Barbara squeezed her eyes shut at her wards words. She felt a tear erupt from between her eyelids and meander down her cheeks. Her chin trembled with the effort of trying to stop herself from crying. She didn't want to brake down. She wanted to be strong for Dinah even though she was losing her best friend. "I don't think . Helena's," The older woman stifled a sob at the mention of the brunette's name. ". I don't think . her . meta- healing . is working. I think she's given up." Barbara smoothed darkened bangs away from the younger woman's unrecognisable face. "I . think she gave up a while ago."
If she hadn't have been holding onto the bed-frame, Dinah felt sure that she would have hit the floor. She was shaking hard and she was finding it difficult to breathe. A terrible thought entered her head as she mulled over the reasoning behind her guardians words.
'What if Helena hadn't just fallen or been pushed? What if Helena had jumped?'
Helena hadn't been the same since Harleen Quinzel had raped her mind and made her kill Wade. Helena hadn't been able to get over how she had murdered the man and caused her best friend so much pain. It wasn't her fault; everyone believed it except for the one person who needed to believe it the most - Helena.
She had changed. Her visits to the Clock Tower became more and more infrequent. Eventually, Helena stopped coming by altogether. She had continued her nightly sweeps without the help of Oracle and Canary.
Helena Kyle had become severely depressed, so depressed that Barbara had tried to convince her into seeing another psychiatrist. The brunette had balked at her suggestion and left. Dinah was sure that Barbara hadn't seen her since, but she had.
....................................
2 Nights Previous
Dinah started as she flicked on the light to the pitch black kitchen to find Helena sitting at the table. Neither she nor Barbara had seen the brunette in almost two weeks. The blonde had gone to her apartment to find it empty - to find that she had paid up and moved out. Helena had also quit her job at the Darkhorse and even Gibson hadn't seen her, ever since he had had to ask her to leave the bar for causing a drunken brawl.
Dinah had been worried sick and now here she was. "Jesus, Hel. What happened to you?"
The brunette looked up from where she was trying to stitch up a cut on her elbow. She hadn't even noticed Dinah as she had come into the kitchen or when she had switched the lights on. Usually, she realised the moment when her eyes morphed to and from their cat-like state, but not this time.
"I got into a fight - scumbag motherfuckers." Helena growled as she pressed the needle in a little too deep.
"I'll go and fetch Barbara."
"No." Huntress was in front of Dinah before she had even had the chance to turn around. "I don't want Barbara to see me like this."
The blonde lifted her hand to touch the other woman's bruised face and split lip, but Helena moved out of reach. Azure eyes took in the worse for wear, battered look of her friend and crime fighting partner. "Then let me."
"No."
"Helena."
"Don't, Di. I'm fine." The older woman dropped her eyes to the table so that she could avoid the way piercing blue eyes were looking at her. "I just didn't have the stuff to clean this up." She lifted her elbow to show the nasty cut. "I'll be gone real soon."
Dinah sighed heavily. She rubbed at her sleepy eyes and grabbed for a glass of ice-cold milk. She offered the brunette a drink as she returned to her suturing and got a shake of her head as a reply. The younger woman sat at the opposite end of the table. "You moved."
Helena nodded.
"Aren't you going to tell us where to?"
Helena shook her head. She chewed on her lower lip as she concentrated on her elbow. "Just give me a little more time."
"What's going on with you?"
The older woman blinked owlishly before running a hand through her slightly longer than normal hair. "Nothing." She pushed herself away from the table and stood so that she could put the first aid kit back in the cupboard.
Dinah was on her feet and by the brunette's side before she had even realised it. She reached for Helena's arm and turned her around. Pale blue eyes searched cobalt, looking for the hidden reasons behind her actions. She was not going to 'read' the other woman with her powers, especially after what Quinzel had done, she was going to try the old fashioned way. Dinah was surprised at just how blank those steel blue eyes were. "Come home."
"No."
"Please, let us help you." Dinah pleaded. She had a really bad feeling and she didn't want the other woman to leave.
Helena tried to pull away but she didn't have the strength to fight the teenager. "I don't need your help . not anymore. Everything is going to be fine." She tried to smile but it never reached her eyes.
"Don't go."
"I've got to."
"But . but ." Dinah struggled. There was something she wanted to say, something she needed to say, but she didn't know if now was the right time.
"Spit it out, Di. There's something I have to do." Ebony eyebrows knitted with impatience.
Dinah pressed her lips to Helena's.
For a split second she felt the other woman respond by moving closer, then she pulled away. The all too brief kiss was broken.
"I think . I love you."
Helena smiled weakly. "I love you too, kid."
Golden hair swung loosely as the teenager shook her head. "No. I mean ."
"I know what you mean. Don't do this to yourself." The brunette took a step backwards, away from Dinah and closer to her exit. "I can't give you what you want, so, forget about it."
"I can't help the way I feel."
"Neither can I."
Dinah moved closer. "I want to be with you, Hel. I want to help you."
"I don't wanna hurt you." Helena breathed as the space between them dwindled.
"Tell me you don't want me." To hear the words from the other woman's mouth was the only way that Dinah would believe her. They had been close before all of the Harleen Quinzel business, and they had been getting closer. She had noticed the looks and the lingering touches, she had even returned them. The blonde felt for sure that Helena felt the same way as she did.
"Don't make me say it, Dinah."
"Say it."
The brunette looked down at the wooden flooring beneath her feet and took a deep breath before raising her eyes to meet the younger woman's. "I don't want you and I don't love you the way you want me to . I'm not capable of loving anyone anymore. So, forget about me. This thing you want is never going to happen." It had been callous; she could've said it better. Helena watched as tears filled Dinah's pale blue eyes. She turned around and walked away.
....................................
"Dinah!"
The blonde was startled from her reverie by her guardian. She flicked her gaze towards the bed just to make sure that Helena was still there. "Sorry, Barbara. I was just thinking."
"I've been doing a lot of that too."
Fine golden eyebrows dove as she frowned. Dinah looked between her guardian and the woman she was in love with. She hadn't even heard Barbara's words as an idea come to her mind.
"I can help her."
Emerald orbs connected with thoughtful blue. "No." Barbara dismissed the girl's ideas before she had even voiced them. "There is no way that you are going to enter Helena's mind."
"Why not?" Dinah glared. She crossed her arms over her chest. "I could help her. I could convince her not to give up . and that we're here for her."
"No." She repeated. "It's too dangerous."
"I can do it."
"I've no doubt about your abilities, Dinah." Barbara relinquished her hold on her best friend's hand and wheeled herself around the bed until she was in front of the adamant blonde. "It's just too dangerous."
"But we could lose her." The younger woman's eyes filled with tears. She knew that her guardian was only trying to protect her but she also knew that she was Helena's only chance. Dinah had to get inside the brunette's mind and convince her to fight for her life.
"And if you're in there when it happens ." Breath hitched in Barbara's throat as she thought about the consequences. "I could lose you too."
The blonde pulled the older woman into her body and hugged her tight. "I'm so sorry, Barbara, but it's a risk I'm willing to take." Concentrating hard, she felt the other woman go limp in her arms.
Barbara was sleeping in her wheelchair as Dinah neared the bed. She pulled a plastic chair closer to the prone figure of the brunette and sat down. Carefully, she lifted Helena's hand into her own.
As a white mist swirled in front of her closed eyes, Dinah slumped forward.
....................................
Dinah blinked her eyes rapidly, the sun was low in the sky and it glared at her angrily. She shielded her eyes with her hand and spun around to look at her surroundings.
The blonde was standing in the middle of a large grassy field with a pale blue sky above. There was nothing but green and blue in every direction.
Suddenly, a chain-link fence dropped from the sky. With a deafening boom three more metal fences dropped from above and buried themselves securely in the soft earth. Four very high barriers surrounded her. A fifth fell and became a covering.
Dinah winced and covered her ears as each piece of metal secured itself to the other with a screeching sound. She was in the middle of a cage and then Helena was there with her.
Helena sat on the grass with her knees pulled into her chest and her head resting on top. She was looking out of the cage, just staring. Dinah touched her shoulder but didn't get a reaction. Her azure eyes followed the direction of cobalt.
A svelte blonde with amazingly blue eyes stood on the other side of the fence. Her mouth was moving but from inside the cage they could hear no sound from outside.
"Who is that?" Dinah puzzled at the familiar looking woman.
"My mother." Helena never removed her eyes from the older woman. "She's waiting for me. I thought that she'd be happy . but . she looks so sad." The brunette's voice was almost monotone as she spoke. "I know that she's trying to tell me something, but I just can't hear her."
Dinah glanced up at the sky as the sun kissed the earth. Crimson and gold streaked across the darkening blue. Azure eyes caught the flicker of movement from beyond the fence.
"You need to be going soon." Helena had also noticed the visitor.
The blonde teenager returned her mother's smile as Caroline Lance gave her daughter a little wave. "Come back with me, Hel."
The brunette shook her head. "You shouldn't be here, Dinah. Go . before it's too late."
"Is that why my mom's here?" Dinah looked down at her tingling hands. "I'm dying too, aren't I?"
"It's a long time dead, Di. Don't come back."
"I'm not leaving you here all alone." The blonde sat down next to her friend and pulled her knees up to her chest. She tilted her head to the side so that she could see the other woman.
"I'm not going to be here much longer, anyways." She was still staring out at her mother, trying to read her lips.
Dinah focused her pale blue eyes on the women outside of the cage. "Don't say that." She breathed out in to the cooling air.
As another woman approached the fencing, Helena turned to the teenager. She watched the girl's forehead crease as she tired to see who the other woman was. It was no use staring because the new arrival was wearing a dark hood that hid her face. To Helena the woman was death, waiting to take her away. She was no longer scared of death; she had invited her to the party after all.
Dinah could feel her body tremble. She noticed the fear her mother and Selina Kyle felt as they backed away from the fence. "I love you, Hel and I'm gonna be right here with you. I'm not leaving unless you come with me." Even if it meant dying inside of the brunette's mind she would not go without her.
Helena reached out and cupped the young blonde's chin, tugging until their eyes met. "I can't come with you . even if I wanted to." She sighed at the pained look in cerulean blue. "You've seen me out there . you've seen what I did to myself." Liquid cobalt spilled.
Dinah pressed her lips to Helena's. She didn't wait for the rejection this time before she pulled away. It was just a sweet kiss as blackness leaked across the sky like spilled ink. "Then I guess that I'm staying right here."