Author's Note:

This is dedicated to Kiti Renentine as the 200th reviewer of Cat and Mouse. Thanks for all your input Kiti!

Tseng ran his hands through his hair, it had come loose during his fretting. He had been racking his brain all day to try and solve his dilemma with Reno, but so far no solution had presented itself. His digital calendar glared at him mockingly from his computer screen, the entire day highlighted in bright red. He had been preparing for this for weeks now, this 'surprise' inspection. It had been a surprise until he poked his nose into things, and now it was a looming behemoth rearing and trying to take his head off. He knew from past experience that Reno was going to make his life a living hell on inspection day, he always did. Tseng wasn't entirely sure why Reno took such pride in risking his job the way he did, but he assumed it was because watching Tseng run around like a chicken with his head cut off to make sure he kept it was just too damned amusing a sight to pass up.

This time was going to be different though, Tseng had already promised himself that. This time Tseng was going to circumvent the un-circumventable and end the madness. All he had to do was think of a way to make Reno behave for a measly twenty-four hours. Behaving meant Reno would have to at least pretend to do some work, keep his usually unchecked language under control, and wear his entire uniform. The fact that Tseng wanted Reno to wear his uniform properly was the problem he couldn't find an answer to. He knew he could bribe Reno into behaving like a normal human being, he could even make him button up his shirt if he offered enough, but the thought of making him wear a tie was the main problem. Reno hated ties, he had labeled them nooses and had made his displeasure with them very clear. Every tie Tseng had given him had been maimed beyond recognition and then placed carefully on his desk. Tseng had never seen such horrible things happen to ties and Reno had gotten quite imaginative. They had been run through paper shredders, chopped into tiny squares by scissors, burned into tiny piles of ash, stuck beneath lawnmowers and made into mulch, and Tseng couldn't even deduce the destructive methods used on some of the more unrecognizable strips of fabric that had once called themselves ties.

For once Tseng wanted things to go the way he planned them, not the way Reno planned them. He had to admit, Reno's plans were far more entertaining than his, but his plans ensured that everyone kept their job and nothing got damaged. Although Reno's plans were amusing, his plans were preferable in his mind. The amount of time he spent piecing his plans together far exceeded the amount of time he spent watching them fall apart. Reno had a knack for breaking things, something Tseng had taken note of after broken desk number three. Almost everything in the offices was now easily replaced and cheaply made, but no one complained since they spent so much time replacing them that it would be pointless to get the tasteful and expensive things they wanted. Only Rude seemed blissfully unaware of this issue as he continued to buy the high end several hundred gil pairs of sunglasses that he wore at all times.

Tseng steepled his fingers in front of his face and set them against his nose, silently praying for a complete reboot of Reno's internal system so that he could be reprogrammed to follow orders and behave appropriately, at least for one day.

Tseng nearly jumped out of his skin when his door burst open, but the only thing that betrayed his surprise was the upward flash of his eyes. He examined Reno carefully as the very dirty, ripped, and scratched Turk growled and settled himself into the seat across from Tseng. Tseng didn't feel pity for his carpet or upholstery anymore, he felt that the stained and dirty fabric was probably used to the abuse Reno gave it.

Reno pouted and slumped in the chair, his arms crossed in front of his chest indignantly. He probably knew why he was there, but Tseng could tell Reno was trying to play innocent and pretend he had no idea why he was polluting Tseng's otherwise austere office. Before Tseng got to his pitiful bargaining however, he had one burning question to ask. "What the hell happened to you?"

"Got mauled by Dark Nation again." Reno's lower lip could not have stuck out any farther if Tseng had pulled on it.

Tseng instantly pinched the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath before answering. "Reno what did you do to piss off Rufus' stupid guard dog?"

Reno was suddenly animated, his arms flecking dirt across the office as they flailed. "I didn't do anything! The stupid mutt jumped me 'cause I walked past Rufus and said hi! Stupid, bitchy, hormonal, over-protective, man-eating, bullet hungry animal."

Tseng fought the urge to chuckle at his agitated Turk, his eyes squinched shut as he tried to block out the comical look crossing Reno's angry features. "What did I tell you about talking to Rufus while Dark Nation is around?"

"Ya told me not to but I wasn't thinking! I don't know why that thing hates me! Why do animals hate me Tseng?" Reno's eyes grew wide and shone with a guiltless innocence that anyone but Tseng would have cooed over.

Tseng, however, knew better than to pity his subordinate. "They hate you because you throw rocks at them, shock them with your EMR so that you can swear at their owners all you like, and stuff laxatives into their treats. That's why animals hate you."

"I only did that last one once!" Reno's lower lip quivered like a flag in a weak breeze.

Tseng sighed and shook his head. "Once is more than enough. If you fed me enough laxatives to make me shit my organs onto the floor I'd probably bite you too."

"You're exaggerating! Nation didn't shit its organs on the floor!" Reno was animated again, his palms slamming down on the desk indignantly.

Tseng rolled his eyes and decided to drop the subject, a reaction that was common for him when he was dealing with Reno. "I wanted to talk to you about tomorrow."

Reno sat back in his chair with a wicked grin, his voice full of innocence he no longer possessed. "What's tomorrow Tsengy-poo?"

"Inspection day." Tseng glared at Reno, hoping he could get his point across with an angry look, but knowing that Reno was only amused by his serious expressions.

Reno slapped himself in the forehead so hard a loud thwack echoed through the room. "Oh damn! I almost forgot about that! What horrid thing should I wear this time..." He trailed off and got a far-off look that let Tseng know he was plotting.

Tseng tried to cut into his train of thought. "What do I have to do to get you to behave properly tomorrow?"

Reno smirked and leaned forward, eyes gleaming with mischief as he recognized the summons for negotiations. "No paperwork for a month sounds good. That'll get me to behave."

Tseng inhaled sharply and nearly bit his own tongue off for allowing it to give Reno a positive answer. "Done. How can I make you dress in full uniform?"

Reno's malicious grin widened to a frightening degree. "Would you like me to disappear completely tomorrow Tseng?"

Tseng sensed the danger but mulled over Reno's proposition anyways. "Disappear? What do you mean by disappear Reno?" It was always his first priority to ask just what Reno's definitions of certain terms were. It had been hazardous to his health the last time he had interpreted Reno's meaning with his own translation.

"I mean I will look, dress, and act exactly the same as any other employee in this building. I will not stand out, nothing will break, no one will hear a single swear word out of my mouth, my tie will be worn, my shirt will be buttoned and tucked in, my shoes will be so shiny you can see your reflection in them, and Dark Nation will have a very uneventful day." Reno's grin was full of trickery and sent a chill up Tseng's spine.

Tseng leant forward, unable to pass up the opportunity to get Reno to behave the way he described, no matter what the assuredly ridiculous cost of such a blessing would be. "How do I make that happen?"

Reno leaned back in his chair and examined his short and dirty nails carefully before answering. "No paperwork for a month, another week of vacation added to what I've already accumulated, and something else from you personally."

Tseng raised an eyebrow. "The first two will be done without complaint, but what is the third thing you want?"

Reno stood and walked around the desk, grabbing Tseng's shoulder and pushing his back in his chair. Tseng stiffened as Reno climbed into his lap and settled himself there, grinning wickedly as he ran his hands over Tseng's chest. Tseng's surprised gulp was audible and Reno leant forward and nipped his Adam's apple as it bobbed back down. "If I'm good all day and keep my promise I get to have you for an entire evening to do whatever I want with you. Either I get all three of the things I want, or you're going to have a very disgruntled inspector covered in things you can't name."

Tseng's fingers dug into the arms of his chair as he sold his soul over to the demon sitting on his lap. "Done. Behave and you get everything you asked for. Misbehave and you get to scrub toilets with a toothbrush for the next five months."

"Deal." Reno grinned and pressed a quick kiss to Tseng's relenting lips before launching himself out of the chair and over the desk, slamming the door shut behind him as he skipped away.

Tseng ran a confused finger over his lips and leaned his forehead on his unoccupied hand, glaring at the bright red splotch on his digital calendar that had cost him more than he had thought he could lose.

The next day Reno behaved so well that had Tseng not been looking for the firecracker he would have missed him. Tseng was so distracted by looking for Reno and thoughts of what would happen that evening if Reno came through on their bargain that he missed over half of what the inspector said. Luckily, the inspector didn't have much to say and avoided Reno like he was the plague, remembering the last inspection without fondness.

Reno made it through the whole day without being reported to Tseng's office by angry or injured co-workers. He was reported by people concerned by his silence and it wasn't long before Rude rushed into Tseng's office, the same sunglasses he had put on that morning intact and perched on his nose. Rude frowned and leaned against Tseng's desk, concern etched onto his normally stoic face. "What happened to Reno?"

Tseng sighed and continued filing, answering Rude's question without looking at him. "We made a bargain so he would behave during inspection."

"What kind of bargain? When I asked he told me you got him out of paperwork for a month and gave him a weeks worth of vacation, but that wouldn't make him this...normal. What else did you give him?" Rude's voice was laced with worry.

Tseng sighed and gave Rude a very tired look. "You know what he has from me, please get back to work."

Rude frowned and straightened, pushing his glasses higher up on his nose. "I will get an answer."

"I don't doubt that." Tseng sighed and watched Rude turn on his heel and walk away, his stomach plummeting down to his shoes.

Tseng had almost finished his filing for the day when Reno walked into his office, shutting the door gently behind him. He leaned across the desk with an evil smile. "It's closing time Tseng. I was a very good boy all day long."

Tseng gulped and set his pen down, leaning back in his chair and meeting Reno's eyes cautiously. "So I've been told."

Reno beamed and slipped behind the desk, leaning against it instead of hopping straight into Tseng's lap like he wanted to. "Are you proud?"

"In all honesty I didn't think you could do it." Tseng swallowed nervously and looked Reno over, expecting to be pounced on at any moment.

Reno grinned and tugged his tie off with a satisfied smirk, knotting it around Tseng's neck with an evil snicker. "Pack up your stuff boss-man our evening started five minutes ago."

Tseng had the strong desire to hide his head in his hands as Reno dragged him down the halls by their ties, their march earning them several stares and giggles.

Reno had it out for him. Reno had to have it out for him. If Reno didn't have it out for him then there was no explanation whatsoever for the embarrassment he was feeling at that moment. Reno had paraded him down the halls like a trophy and once they had reached his car he had slipped the tie from Tseng's neck and wrapped it around his eyes before forcing him into the car, giggling and grinning all the while. The ride was silent and dark for Tseng, his mind aflame with ideas of just what Reno wanted to do with him. Despite his worry he was actually quite interested to figure out just what Reno would do and think he would get away with. Even if Tseng had allowed him to have him for the evening it didn't mean there would be no retribution after all was said and done.

Reno parked the car and opened Tseng's door for him, grabbing his hand and dragging him to what Tseng assumed was his apartment. Why Reno didn't want him to be able to see was beyond him, but he figured it would have spared him a few uncomfortably close brushes with walls and doors as he was lead by his excitable employee. Tseng recognized it when they entered and elevator, the familiar swooping sensation in his stomach letting him know they were going up. He could hear Reno fumbling with his keys as he struggled to unlock his apartment door, his eagerness to get inside making his hands shake slightly.

Tseng gave a small huff as he was roughly pushed into a chair, his body stiffening as Reno straddled his lap. He tried to give warning grunt but Reno slipped warm lips over his own before he had the chance to part them to make a sound. Reno untied his tie with shaky fingers, pulling it from his neck and wrapping it around his wrists as he pulled away to breathe. Tseng still couldn't see, but he could hear Reno's somewhat ragged breathing over his own, noting the harsh pants with intrigue and lust. One thing Tseng had never calculated in his dealings with Reno was that the fiery red-head might have a crush on him, a crush that he had let run unchecked and had allowed to turn into a fetish. At the moment, however, Tseng couldn't say he minded Reno's rather rushed way of handling things.

Reno climbed off his lap after his hands were securely bound together, the knot taking some time due to Reno's still quivering hands. Tseng felt the corner of his lips twitch upwards in a nervously amused smile. "Can you take the blindfold off now?" He could hear Reno shake his head and frowned. "Why not?"

Reno seemed to choke on his own words. "Because now that I've got you here I've completely forgotten what it was I wanted to do with you."

Tseng felt a blush rise up his cheeks as he realized that Reno had planned this night in advance and with more consideration that he normally gave things. He cleared his throat and shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "I'm guessing it had something to do with bondage?"

Reno walked over and grabbed the back of Tseng's head, tilting it back to expose his throat. Tseng moved willingly after a little pressure was applied, gulping nervously as a thin finger ran down his neck. "Do you have any idea how beautiful you look like this Tseng?"

Tseng felt his cock rise to attention at those words, his own reaction surprising him. He had been called beautiful before and the drunken man who had dared utter the word had been thrown into a wall after a few carefully placed kicks and punches. "I have no idea how I look like this, my eyes are covered."

Reno chuckled, the sound somewhat choked as he gingerly sat himself in Tseng's lap. "I wish you could see yourself now, you look so willing and its driving me nuts." Reno licked along his neck and teased the sensitive skin with his teeth, the sensation making Tseng's back arch forward. They shivered in unison and Reno began unbuttoning Tseng's shirt, slipping the fabric over muscled shoulders so that he could pepper the sculpted planes with worshipful kisses. "Do you want this Tseng?"

Tseng swallowed and pressed forward as Reno's tongue trailed towards his chest, knowing where the pink plaything's final destination was. The idea of Reno touching and licking him in his most sensitive places made his head whirl and his dick swell, his answer painfully obvious. "I do."

Reno sighed with relief and continued his downward trail, stopping to suckle and nip at Tseng's pert nipple as he moved. Tseng clenched his hands together and fought hard to stay submissive under Reno's skilled touches. His head was fogged over with lust and all he was able to think about was ripping his hands out of their bonds, pulling off his blindfold, and screwing Reno so senseless he wouldn't be able to walk for a week.

Reno seemed to read his intentions and quickly undid the older man's belt, tossing it aside with all the care one gives to litter. Tseng's remaining clothes were quickly stripped and the tie holding his hands together was removed, giving him the ability to rip off his blindfold and do what he had been struggling not to do. He pulled Reno's lips into a hungry kiss as he hurriedly undressed his subordinate, separating buttons from his shirt as he tore at the clothes keeping him from gliding his hands across the smooth skin. Reno whimpered as his control was wrested from him and tried to regain his dominance. Tseng wouldn't have any interruptions however and ignored Reno's attempts to reassert himself as the dominant player in their game of lust and bondage. Reno continued to whimper and breathed Tseng's name as his lithe body was attacked with passionate and hungry attentions he had only imagined possible in dreams.

Tseng was acting on pure instinct now, his first impulse telling him to crush Reno into his couch and slam into his wriggling body. He restrained himself enough to ask where the lubricant was, rubbing Reno's cock brazenly and chuckling with dark mirth as Reno whimpered and tried to tell him. Tseng interpreted the broken speech Reno gave him and got up to fetch the much needed gel, leaving the red-head panting and flushed on the couch. Reno sat up and watched as Tseng shuffled through his desk, moaning with triumph when Tseng finally found the tiny bottle. Tseng grinned and squeezed a well-portioned cherry scented drop onto his finger and turned to face his still panting partner. "On your hands and knees now."

His voice left no room for argument and Reno eagerly complied, twisting his body into the position that Tseng wanted with quivering anticipation. Tseng set himself behind Reno and smeared the gel onto his clenching hole, grinning as Reno pushed against the probing digit that entered him. Tseng stretched and curled his fingers delightedly, watching with unmasked want as Reno trembled and squirmed, his mouth open in a hard O as he panted and moaned for all he was worth. Soon Tseng's own need became too much and he removed his sticky fingers from Reno's backside, drinking in the mournful whimpers that accompanied their withdrawal. He set his aching cock at Reno's entrance and pushed inside without warning, the tight hole accepting all he had to offer as he buried himself inside his more than willing subordinate. Tseng wasted no time, pounding into Reno hard and fast as he watched Reno's face contort in pleasurable pain. Reno moaned his name and it fueled the frantic pumping of his hips and hand as he took Reno's weeping cock in his fingers and gripped it tightly. He felt Reno spill out into his hand and the warm fluid running between his fingers triggered his own orgasm, his body going stock still as he gave one final push into Reno's warm heat.

They collapsed onto the couch, a sticky panting tangle of sated limbs. Reno twisted until he was on his back with Tseng's spent body laying on top of him, wrapping shaking arms around the dark man's shoulders. "Damn I wish we had inspections every day!"

Tseng couldn't help but chuckle as he leaned up and planted a none-too chaste kiss on Reno's slightly puffed lips.