This is a parody of the gameshow 'The Mole' using Lord of the Rings characters. In this story, there are eleven contestants, ten of which are competing for a 'large but perpetually changing' amount of money. The last of them, however, is being paid do deceive the others and sabotage the amount of money that goes into the pot. This is so that the producers will not have to pay as much money to the winner of the game.

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"Hello everyone, and welcome to The Mole, this year being filmed in scenic Middle Earth! I am your host, Bilbo Baggins, and…" Bilbo starts telling everyone about the rules of the game.

While Bilbo is still talking, two horses are heard behind him and he turns. Dismounting from the horses are Boromir and Gandalf.

"Ah, let's welcome our first two contestants" said Bilbo merrily. Boromir shook Bilbo's hand cordially while Gandalf gave his old friend a hug.

Two ponies, which had been following Gandalf, arrived as well. On them were Sam and Pippin. As they arrived, Bilbo let out a strange, happy-sounding squeal, causing everyone to look at him. Bilbo blushed and shooed them over to a bench to wait for the rest of the contestants.

Just then, two more horses arrived. The first was carrying Legolas and Gimli while the other was carrying…Isildur!

"Mr. Bilbo, who is that man over there?" Sam asked innocently.

"That is Isildur" Bilbo replied without looking at Sam.

"Wasn't he killed several thousand years ago?" Gandalf remarked.

"Um well…yes" replied Bilbo. Gandalf chuckled.

"Greetings, everyone!" said Isildur as though nothing obscure was happening. The contestants decided to remain silent for the time being.

Isildur was busy shaking everyone's hand when suddenly a loud screech sounded through the sky, causing everyone to cover their ears. Suddenly, a huge fellbeast swooped down so close to the ground that everyone dropped to the ground. Then the fellbeast crashed into a tree.

The contestants stood up to see three people dismounting from the fellbeast, which was now recovering from the blow. They were Saruman, Grima Wormtongue and the Witch King.



"I told you not to let him steer!" complained Grima in an unbelievably whiny voice to the Witch King. The Witch King turned and stared at Grima, who shrieked and hid behind Saruman. Saruman stumbled as he tripped over Grima's robes and bonked Grima on the head with his staff.

"Let's welcome our next contestants" said Bilbo merrily. Isildur made a face at Bilbo and Boromir started protesting to Bilbo, who ignored him.

Saruman strutted forward, ignoring the contestants and stood at the end of the line, followed by his two companions. Everyone else edged away from them as they started mumbling to each other.

Bilbo went to greet them but Saruman warded him away with his staff. Bilbo made a strange face before turning to the rest of the contestants.

"Well, it seems that everyone's here" said Bilbo shortly. "Meet me at the Green Dragon in…"

Suddenly, something bounded out of the bushes, nearly landing on Gimli. Gimli swung his axe, narrowly missing the thing's foot.

"Ah Gollum, I'm very please you could make it, we were beginning to think you weren't going to show up!" Bilbo blurted. Bilbo was obviously trying to cover up the fact that he had forgotten Gollum, but none of the contestants were fooled."

"Um…never mind" said Bilbo, embarrassed. "Well, meet me at the Green Dragon in three hours for your first challenge. First, however, let me show you to the place that you will be staying for the next few days."

Bilbo led the group to a hobbit hole and opened the door, beckoning them in. Gandalf strutted in and bumped his head on a chandelier, then the ceiling. Saruman and Gimli chuckled.

"This place smells like nasty hobbitses!" Gollum whined. Bilbo ignored him and led the group into the living room.

"The hobbits living here have kindly allowed us to use their home for the length of the show. This is where you will be staying, so I suggest you get used to it."

Bilbo laughed and left, although it was obvious that he wanted to stay and watch everyone attempt to move around. The Witch King's mask/helmet kept catching on the ceiling, Boromir had trouble moving his box of possessions through a doorway and Saruman got nailed on the head by a low ceiling when he realized that he had left some of his things outside.



Gollum and the hobbits had no trouble maneuvering, but everyone else was having the time of their lives…in a bad way. For this reason, Pippin and Sam chose a room away from the others, even though they had to sleep with Gollum, who had moved in because of the same reason.

"The stupid fat hobbit is blocking our way precious!" Gollum shouted as he crawled over Sam, who had bent down to pick up some of his things he had dropped on the floor. Pippin shoved them both out of the way so he could call his preferred bed.

Meanwhile, things were even worse on the other side of the hobbit home. Isildur was currently stuck in a seated position when he had attempted to try out the sofa, and everyone was laughing until Gandalf finally decided to help him up. Isildur appeared quite offended and went over towards the room with the hobbits.

Finally, everyone had managed to unpack and chose the bed they wanted. The hobbits and Isildur had gotten into a fight about sleeping arrangements and finally agreed to let him sleep there only if he let them out first when it was time to get up. Isildur agreed, and they gave him the bed in the corner of the room. Isildur didn't think he liked this show too much so far!