Chapter One
They were the last words I ever wanted to hear. The last words anyone would ever want to hear. Your going to die was all that I could really hear coming from her mouth, the rest didn't matter the part about dying was what really matter.
It wasn't like I shouldn't have been prepared for, I'd come to this hospital for months. The white walls and the white floors never changed. The smell never changed either, and that was always revolting. Every nurse was always the same, unpleasant in some way but friendly in a different way. I couldn't stand this place anymore, it felt like I was striving for air and truth be told... I probably was. It seemed that a few months earlier every thing was different but hey, if your life is going good I guess charma will come around eventually and bite you in the ass.
Cancer. Who knew that cancer could spread so quickly and kill you so fast. I mean its bone cancer and thats kind of its job to kill you but still, couldn't have waited awhile? Life is about living, and if your not living your dying. Everyone deserves the right to live their life to the fullest and not to skip out on some of the most important aspects of life... like marriage, children, high school graduation, and retirement. Retirement may not be a huge aspect but every old timer admits to wanting to retire. Ask grandma Sandy, she will tell you all about how she can't wait to retire.
Everything was different a few months ago. I was the same plain jane that everyone knew; dirty blonde hair with green eyes. You'd think that being blonde I'd be that fun, peppy cheerleader everyone knows and loved, but nope... I liked being by myself. I was never skinny, more of a wide big-boned girl. I wasn't fat either, just big-boned. When I transfered into high school I let my insecurities get to me. My friends started to disappear one by one when I made excuses to stay at home instead of going out to parties, I soon became a loner my freshman year.
Its not like I didn't like to be by myself, its just that when you want someone to talk to about boys... about school... about anything, its way easier to talk to someone other than your mom. Moms aren't always exactly the best to talk too, especially my mom. Have you ever met those neurotic mothers? The ones that always tell there children your to be home by eight o clock sharp even when they are eighteen? Yeah, that's my mom. She's always been that way though. Growing up with strict rules meant that I got used to it, these rules are another reason why my friends dropped me.
My father disappeared when I was six. Just like that. He left for the grocery store one morning, doing the same old fatherly things that he normally did before going to the store; kissing me and my mother then leaving. About twenty minutes later mom found a note on her nightstand that probably read something like I don't like being tied down, or I love you but I love my other girlfriend better. My mother never told me what the note said exactly but I'm sure I have a perfectly good idea. Who really cares if my father left me. People grow up perfectly fine without their fathers, I mean look at Eminem, he may not be a prime example... but you get the idea.
Its been an easy life, my mothers a family doctor, so there was always money when I needed it. When I got my licence on my sixteenth birthday, my mother bought me a car. Nothing special, a blue 2007 Jeep Liberty but it gets the job done. I've never worked a day in my life either, but that didn't mean I didn't have basic life skills. I knew how to cook, I knew how to clean, I could do anything I put my mind too.
I'm also a thinker. I over analyse things, and I take things way too seriously. However, there isn't one thing in this world that I don't like... except the color pink, but thats a whole different story. I could walk for hours admiring every single blade of grass that I see when every single blade looks the same. Well the same to everyone else, but to me, they have different colours, shades, and shapes.
My life was just starting to change, just as this big bus of cancer hit me. I was finally starting to have a life, finally starting to find myself, find someone... maybe even my soul mate, but then this happened. But when life hands you lemons, I guess you try and make the best of things.