They're not mine, only in my dreams.
I "use" them to entrtain my friends.
LETTERS
David,
I'm writing this letter to say goodbye to you.
You finally succeeded in ruining my life. Thank you for nothing brother.
You never did understand me, did you? You never realized how hard it was for me when you left. I had to stay behind with mom and she didn't do anything but cry. Do you know how lonely I was? And do you know how much I missed you?
Even in school I wasn't safe. You were no longer there to protect me and I've been in more fights than you'll ever know. Mom never seemed to notice it when I came home with a bloody nose and a black eye. I needed you and you were having fun in California.
Well brother I hope you're happy now. I'll be leaving in an hour and when you read this I'll be gone for good.
Don't try to find me, I don't want you to and all I need is for you to stay out of my life forever.
Mom doesn't know I'm leaving so you don't have to interrogate her.
Please, stay where you are and let me be. If you do feel any responsibility towards me, ignore it.
I don't need it anymore.
Nick.
Nicky,
I know you're still in New York and I hope this letter will reach you somehow.
You are right, I never did understand why you did what you did, but I do understand your loneliness when I left. I was lonely too Nicky, I had left everything behind that I knew. Leaving you was the hardest thing I ever did, believe me.
You don't know how long it took before I didn't cry myself asleep and how many nightmares haunted my nights. They were always about you, you were in trouble and I couldn't reach you.
Do you really think it was my own choice to leave? I had no say in the matter, brother. I felt dumped and unwanted by you and mom. It took me years to understand why she sent me to Aunt Rosie and Uncle Al.
Do you know that I tried to run away more times than I can remember? I wanted to go home and be with you. I belonged with you and mom not here.
Nicky, you're a grown man now; can't you leave the past behind you? Life is too short to be angry for no reason. After all, we're family.
If you won't contact me soon, I'll come to look for you and I'll bring Hutch with me.
David.
David,
Don't you dare to come over and look for me! And leave Hutch out of this. He's the reason you didn't come back the moment you turned eighteen. He's the reason why you'll never come back. Stay where you are with your precious Hutch and forget I ever existed.
Nick.
Nicky,
I know where you are. I did what you didn't want me to do, I interrogated Ma.
How could you do that to her? How could you make her promise not to call me?
I'm here in New York now but I won't come to see you.
You're on your own now.
D.
Thanks for nothing brother.
I won't write anymore, we have nothing to say to each other.
N.
David,
I'm sorry I blamed you for my mistakes. Juliet talked some sense in my brain.
She got angry I called her a mistake.
I was scared David, that's why I wrote you those dumb letters. I wasn't ready yet to be a daddy.
Will you come to see us?
Nick.
Aww Nicky,
Of course I come to see you! What do you think? I wanna meet my nephew and I wanna thank Juliet for making an honest man out of you!
I'll be at your wedding, brother, you can count on that.
David.
Dear David,
Although we never met I want to thank you for everything you've done for Nick.
I know he was a pain in the butt sometimes but deep inside he's a good man.
I guess he missed you more than he did his father. He loves you very much be sure of that.
It was never our intention to start a family this way but when I got pregnant we both knew we wanted to do the right thing. Nick panicked and ran but he came back. Then he started blaming you for his actions and wrote you those awful letters. When I found out what he'd done we had a very long talk and now I think he's ready to take the responsibility for his family.
Your mother is so happy and was so sad when he forbade her to tell you about the baby.
I'm glad you found out anyway and I can't wait to meet you and Hutch. He's just as welcome as you are, David.
With love,
Juliet.