Rocko is sitting in his and Craig's room when the phone rings. He sets his porn magazine down and pulls the smoke from his mouth and picks up the phone.
Rocko: Hello?
Craig's Girlfriend: Let me talk to Craig. *she sounds indignant to have to talk to Rocko.*
Rocko gets up and goes down to the main level of the frat house.
Rocko: He Craig, your bitch is on the phone.
Craig heads up stairs and picks up the phone.
Craig: Hey honey. (Note: I have no clue what her name is, or if she even HAS a name for that matter)
Honey: Hey, I got a problem for you. My cousin is staying with me for the weekend, so I can't come over.
Craig: Can't you pawn her off on one of your friends?
Honey: She's... a freak. I don't even think Rocko would go for her.
Craig: Couldn't hurt to try.
Honey: I don't think even he deserves to spend a night with her.
Craig: Ouch. She must be something for you to say that.
Honey: You have -no- idea. The girl is a total freak show.
The pair laugh and Rocko walks in, flopping back down onto his bed and picking up the porno mag.
Craig: Speaking of him... Hold on honey. *Craig covers the receiver of the phone with his hand and turns to Rocko* Hey Rocko, what are you doing tonight?
Rocko: Watching porn, drinking... What do you care?
Craig: Well, my girlfriend here's cousin is in town. I was wondering if you'd want to take her out.
Rocko: Is she hot?
Craig: *hesitates for a second* Uh... Yes, yes she is.
Rocko: Ok. *he sounds indifferent*
Craig: *uncovering the receiver and talking to 'Honey' again.* I think we've solved our problems. Come over to the frat house for 8. Yes, I love you too.
Rocko: *groans and cringes at the mushy 'crap'*
Roll Opening Credits.
Rocko, Cal and Nitz are in Cal and Nitz' room, Gimpy is talking to them over the net.
Gimpy: I'd like to stay and chat, but I have things to do.
Nitz: Like what? You never do anything. You don't even leave your room.
Gimpy: Point taken.
Cal is playing his little key board and singing off key to himself about kittens and puppies.
Rocko: Hey Cal, shut the hell up!
Cal: I'm sorry bestest buddy Rocko. I just love kittens, guy. *Grins like an idiot until Rocko throws a beer bottle at his head*
Nitz: Rocko, don't beat up Cal.
Cal: Yeah guy. Not only is it mean, it's not nice either.
All: *stunned groan at the redundancy of Cal's statement*
Rocko: *looks at his watch* Well, I gotta go, guys.
Nitz: Another night of alcohol induced hallucinations?
Rocko: *proudly* No, I got me a date.
Gimpy: With an alcohol induced hallucination?
Rocko: No. With my roommate's girlfriend's cousin...
All but Rocko start laughing.
Rocko: Hey! What are you laughing at?
Nitz: You're going on a blind date?
Rocko: So?
Gimpy: It is a proven fact that most female blind date participants have something severely wrong with them.
Nitz: If she's going out with Rocko, she'd have to have something wrong with her.
Rocko: Screw you guys.
Cal goes back to his singing and Rocko leaves, taking his beer, which seems to be ever present in his hand, with him.
Nitz: So what are you doing tonight, Gimpy?
Gimpy: I'm going to set up my Lando Calrissian Cloud City diorama. *excited* You?
Nitz: Kimmy and I are going out for coffee.
Gimpy: I'm telling you, Nitz. This Kimmy is bad news.
Nitz: Why is that?
Gimpy: Because girls are the enemy.
Nitz: What about Princess Leia?
Gimpy: She's not a girl. She's a senator in the Galactic Empire, and she leads the rebellion against the evil Empire then...
Nitz: Good bye Gimpy.
Gimpy: May the Force be with you.
***
Honey and Andrea (from 'Uh... No') are in Honey's dorm room getting ready for their dates. Honey is mindlessly primping and brushing her hair in an airhead fashion. Andrea is ready to go, not too dressed up, black jeans, a black tank top and her Docs.
Andrea: I really don't mind staying here while you go out with Craig.
Honey: No way! Then people would think you're my friend. *leaning in to do her mascara* I can't have people thinking that. It would ruin my reputation.
Andrea: *sarcastically* Oh Heaven forbid...
Honey: Oh come on Andy, just come to the frat house...
Andrea: I'm really not in the mood to be looked at my drunken frat boys.
Honey: Oh Andy, don't worry. They wouldn't be interested in you.
Andrea: *glares and raises an eyebrow* Stop calling me that. And what's that supposed to mean?
Honey: Oh nothing. Just that frat boys like popular girls. And you, are a freak. And therefore not popular.
Andrea: *shakes her head and shrugs on her trench coat* Bite me.
Honey: I'd be afraid of catching something.
The two girls leave the room and head out for the party.
***
The two girls walk up to the frat house and Honey knocks on the door. Craig opens it and greets her with an overly friendly kiss and eyes her cousin.
Craig: You -were- right. *whispers to her*
Honey: I told you she was a freak. *whispered back to him*
Andrea: I -can- hear ya, you know, right?
Craig: *shrugging her off* Well, let's introduce you to your date.
Honey and Craig snicker evilly as they lead Andrea down the hall to the main room where Rocko is leaning on the keg. Andrea isn't looking around for him, and therefore misses him the first time around. Craig tells Honey and Andrea to stay there and he goes to get Rocko. Andrea has her back turned to Rocko, and Honey is distracting her from looking at him. Honey and Craig are clueless about Rocko and Andrea knowing each other.
Craig: Hey Rocko... *putting a hand on the drunken man's shoulder* You're date's here.
Rocko: Really? Is she hot? *Rocko half leans on Craig for support in his drunken state*
Craig: Well, you could pick her out of a crowd. *Smirks and starts to lead Rocko over to the girls*
Mean while, Andrea and Honey are talking between their selves on the other side of the room.
Andrea: I don't know why I agreed to come here.
Honey: Don't whine.
Andrea: I forgot, that's your job. *sighs, and starts to look around* So which one of these brain dead slobs is your wanna be Fabio retrieving for me?
Honey: Why are you so... freakish?
Andrea: I prefer the word 'individual', but someone like you wouldn't know what that means, would you?
Honey: Oh shut up. You'd have more friends if you dressed like...
Andrea: A slut?
Honey: Every one else...
Craig comes over with Rocko. Honey and Craig smirk to their selves as Honey turns Andrea around.
Honey: Andrea this is...
Andrea: Rocko! *surprised*
Rocko: Andrea? *shocked*
Honey and Craig: You two know each other?!
***
Nitz sits at a table in the Student U-nion, alone, waiting for Kimmy Burton. He sighs and slumps against his hand with a cooling cup of coffee in front of him. Jesse comes down and sits next to him.
Jesse: Something wrong, Nitz?
Nitz: I just wish Kimmy...
Jesse rolls her eyes and Nitz sees her doing this.
Nitz: What was that for?
Jesse: What do you think?
Nitz: Would I ask if I knew?
Jesse shakes her head as she sees Kimmy coming and gets up to leave. She tosses a hand over her shoulder to wave good bye to Nitz, who doesn't see her as he's paying too much attention to Kimmy. Jesse sighs and storms off.
Nitz: Hey Kimmy.
Kimmy: *flustered* Hey Nitz.
Nitz: What's wrong?
Kimmy: Nothing, it's just that... Oh you wouldn't want to bother with my problems, Nitz.
Nitz: It's no trouble at all.
Kimmy: Well, I'm organizing this rally to help the new freshmen this year get around. I think it's only my duty as a junior this year to help the new students get around. But no one wants to help me. *She pouts sadly*
Nitz: I wish I could help you but...
Kimmy: *excited* Oh that would be wonderful Nitz! What time can I put you down for? Noon tomorrow? Oh that's perfect!
Kimmy gives Nitz a hug, excited that she finally got one volunteer to help with her rally. She looks at her watch and her eyes bug out a little.
Kimmy: Oh no! The time! I completely lost track. I'm sorry Nitz, our coffee will have to wait for another day, I have class all the way on the other side of campus in five minutes!
Kimmy gives him another hug and kisses his cheek before running off in a red headed flurry of over excited Kimmy-ness. She leaves Nitz to his cooling coffee. He looks down at it completely unaware that Jesse was even bothered by the fact that he blew her off for Kimmy. Men and their oblivious nature.
***
Nitz is sitting in the lounge with Jesse, pouring his heart out to him even though he has a vague idea that Jesse likes him. They're both sitting on chairs near the door.
Nitz: Is there something wrong with me?
Jesse: *rolling her eyes and not looking at him, a little up set with the way he's still falling all over Kimmy* You mean other than the way that you follow that air head around like a puppy dog?
Nitz: Hey, that's not a very nice thing to say to your friend.
Jesse: *turns and stands up, looking down on him* Well it isn't exactly nice to completely ignore every one else when that bimbo walks by and asks you for something you don't even want to do anyways.
Nitz: I've only had a crush on her for four years, so excuse me if I would like to help her.
Jesse gets frustrated and throws her hands up. She turns to walk out of the lounge, passing the Douggler. She gives him a quick shove to the side and mutters something unintelligible about Nitz being a moron. Nitz sits in his chair looking rather depressed.
Douggler: Hey Nitzer, what seems to be the problem?
Nitz: *just looks up at the Douggler, hoping he'll go away.*
Cal enters the room with a lady friend and ditches her to see his friend. The Douggler leaves kind of depressed like and goes back to his room. Cal's girlfriend leaves and no one even notices.
Cal: Hey guy, what's wrong. *He slurps and takes the chair where Jesse was sitting.*
Nitz: Just Jesse seems to think that I ditch every one for Kimmy, which isn't true.
Cal: Well, guy, it kinda is, guy. You'll do anything Miss Kimmy says.
Nitz: I'm just trying to be nice.
Cal: Oooo *looking out the window* Squirrels.
Nitz: No Cal, we've been through this before. No sitting in the tree with the squirrels.
***
Craig and Honey have gone off to do their thing somewhere else and left Andrea and Rocko to their selves. Andrea has taken Rocko down stairs as out side is just a little too cold at the moment. They're sitting on a couch watching B movies on cable. Rocko is almost sober by now.
Rocko: So why did you leave like that?
Andrea: I don't know, it's not like I planned to leave or anything...
They sit in silence for a little while, watching the television and each other. No one says anything at the moment, it's a bit of a tense situation.
Andrea: So...
Rocko: Wanna do it?
Andrea: Uh, tempting, but now.
Rocko: I'm tempting now?
Andrea: This is the first time I've seen you sober, remember.
Rocko: Oh yeah... Let's have sex.
Andrea: Well at least we know that alcohol doesn't kill sex drive, nor does it inspire it in your case.
Rocko: Ga... *stares at her blankly, then down to her chest.*
Andrea lifts an eyebrow and puts her hand over her chest. She's taken off her trench coat. Rocko looks up, realizing that she knows he was looking at her chest.
Rocko: Uh, sorry about that.
Andrea: Don't worry, you are only male after all.
Rocko: What's that supposed to mean?
Andrea: That you are driven by two things: Beer and ....
Rocko: Can we have sex?
Andrea: Uh, no, Rocko. Stop asking.
***
Jesse, Krueger, Brodie and Dan are sitting at a table in the Student U-nion and Nitz comes over. The guys say hello to Nitz but Jesse completely ignores him.
Jesse: What the Hell do you want?
Nitz: Jesse, I need to talk with you.
Jesse: Than talk.
Nitz: In private.
Jesse groans and stands up, following Nitz to another table far enough away that Krueger, Brodie and Dan can't hear them. Nitz sits down and Jesse takes the seat across from him, still looking rather pissed off and as if she won't listen to him any ways.
Nitz: Look, I know I was a jerk earlier...
Jesse: Well that's a first. *rolls her eyes and keeps her eyes focussed on something far away.*
Nitz: I'm trying to say I'm sorry.
Jesse: Ever think that 'Sorry' just doesn't cut it any more? I don't even know how your friends could put up with you!
Nitz: Jesse... Please... *puts his hands on her's, trying to calm her down.*
Jesse looks at him and stays seated, listening to him now.
Nitz: I know what I did was wrong, I shouldn't blow you off like that, even for Kimmy. I'm sorry, Jesse...
Jesse: Fine, what ever. Wanna go for some coffee?
Nitz: *blinks and is a little astonished* Uh, sure...
***
Andrea is asleep against Rocko. He puts an arm around her and smiles, turning the television channel. He turns the television off and puts the remote down. Rocko picks up Andrea who wakes up a little.
Andrea: *sleepily* Wha?
Rocko: Sh... Just taking you to bed.
Andrea goes back to bed. Cut scene, next scene is Rocko sleeping on the floor and Andrea on the bed.
Roll Closing Credits.