1. Hiruzen

Suddenly, Hiruzen Sarutobi felt very old. Now, for the first time in his life, he acknowledged his age, each year weighing him down. Now, it was hard to regard the future with hope, as he used to, for everything seemed so meaningless.

Evil had broken free, bringing along destruction with but a swing of its tail.

Regardless of an optimism marking his thoughts and deeds, Hiruzen was a realist. He knew perfectly well that there was evil, too, in the world. Darkness, hatred... He would encounter them everywhere. He had lived through three wars and seen the suffering people had inflicted on each other; he'd seen so much it would be enough for a whole nation... 'Enough' - but only assuming that suffering was something required, and he was of an opposite opinion. He believed that a person was born to be happy, and even though one couldn't completely remove evil from one's life, one could still defeat it. Hiruzen believed that good always prevailed, and he tried to make everyone else believe it, too. Now, however, on the ruins of Konoha, it seemed to him that evil won.

For an average person, everything had happened in a blink of eye. The Nine-Tailed Demon Fox had appeared out of nowhere and without reason. The calamity had fallen upon Konoha like a bolt from the blue. In less than one hour, half of the shinobi had been killed when trying to protect their children and companions. And then there had been a great light when Fourth Hokage had teleported along with the Demon far from the city to remove the threat.

Hiruzen blinked and slowly got up. He took a deep breath, trying not to choke on the dust still suspended in the air, and had a look around. It was here that the final battle had taken place. He could only watch it from behind the barrier, unable to do anything - how dreadful, how cruel. Just watching was much worse, and he distractedly wondered whether he should despise himself for that feeling of relief that, in the end, he couldn't see all the details, obscured by the field of barrier, distance, bits of earth thrown up, and powerful chakra discharges... Now the fighting was over; the barrier had disappeared, and the dust settled, revealing the battlefield. He squinted as his eyes caught two silhouettes.

Minato and Kushina.

Embraced, like a husband and wife. Smiling. And, beyond doubt, dead.

His heart clenched with pain, so strong he hunched and shrank. He couldn't believe Only in the morning, just a few hours ago... They would live their life, as normal as it was possible in the case of a Hokage and a Jinchūriki. They would be safe and sound, they would laugh, finally truly happy, on a threshold of a new life, even better, even more joyous. What had happened was so unfair... and for a moment he wanted to flee from that view, unable to consent for such cruelty.

And then he opened his eyes again, aware that he had to remember every detail of that scene, no matter how dreadful it was. Its beauty was beyond any comprehension.

They had died with smile. Covered with blood, bruised, stripped of any human dignity, they had died smiling to... their child. Hiruzen stirred, involuntarily taking one step forward. He didn't know what had happened, yet; something was pushing him away from that knowledge, and he himself was still fighting the urge to turn back and run away... He clenched his fists and ordered himself to remain calm. He took one more deep breath.

He realized he couldn't run away. Once again, he was the Hokage, only temporary but he was nonetheless, now, right now. Once again, he was the leader of Konoha, with more responsibility on his shoulder than anyone else's. He came closer though his legs seemed lead. His eyes taking in more and more details, he finally stopped over the three of them. He turned his gaze from smiling faces of Minato and Kushina and looked at the newborn child, out of the reach of the mother.

A boy. The Eight Trigrams Sealing Style on his belly. (Hiruzen gasped). A lock of fair hair on his head, eyelids shut tightly, he was sleeping on the ground of already finished battle... just like its conclusion?

Something quivered inside Hiruzen, the first spark lighting up and warming his frozen heart. He regarded the wrinkled face, failing to see any resemblance to the parents. Yet, he was strangely sure that the boy had round eyes of his mother.

He breathed deeply, and this time it wasn't a sigh. His mind was starting to operate again. His straightened up and set his lips tight, looking around. Everything was over. The Demon had appeared and then vanished, sealed once more. The dead would be buried, but it was the living ones to be tended to in the first place. Konoha had suffered a painful blow, but as long as there was a single soul calling it their home, everything could be started anew. The houses would be rebuilt, and the broken trees would be replaced.

The clouds crept over the sky, obscuring the moon. The rain didn't keep them waiting. One could say the nature mourned the dead, but Hiruzen no longer bothered his head with poetry. The first drops fell on the skin of the baby, who waved his hands and started crying, clasping his eyes even tighter. Hiruzen bent down and took the boy in his arms, trying to protect him from the water. For the time of year, it was pretty warm, but it was already autumn nonetheless. The baby had to be taken in a better place.

He turned again to look at Minato and Kushina. The rain was washing off the blood and tears from their faces, leaving the smiles intact. He blinked, trying to remove the water from his eyes, and then he left, defending the flame in his heart and fuelling it so it would never die again.

The first, hastily made plan assumed that Biwako would take care of the boy - it was only his own wife that Hiruzen could entrust with the child of the Hokage who had suddenly become a Jinchūriki and contained the Nine-Tailed Fox Demon - but the next blow reached him as soon as he got home. The ANBU were awaiting him, along with the laconic report that Biwako's corpse had been found in the place where Kushina was supposed to have given birth. The midwife, Taji, was dead, too, as was the whole ANBU squad ordered to protect the area. It was easiest to conclude that they had fallen the very first victims of the Nine-Tails, but there was something to it that Hiruzen didn't like. Lacking any proof, he was forced to postpone speculating until the autopsy's results arrived, especially that there were more important things to take care of at the moment. He was under the impression he couldn't really grasp the situation, yet he had to pull himself together and act. New life had its rights and didn't care about the circumstances in which it had been brought into the world. Hiruzen tried to derive some comfort from the child himself - just as he had done at the beginning - but he couldn't fight off the feeling of depression. He couldn't imagine the future of the boy, but he vaguely guessed it wouldn't be easy.

As a temporary solution, he hired a baby-sitter to feed and change the boy. The newborn used to sleep most of the time, but when he didn't, everyone near was aware of his existence. Hiruzen thought he was probably too old for little babies in his house, and realizing this didn't fill him with joy. He had to focus on his Hokage duties, and thus he rarely stopped at home, but whenever he forced himself to come and have a look at the boy, he quickly left. Once he understood it to be a mistake on his part, it was already too late.

Before that, however, he had a conversation with Koharu and Homura that, as he might expect, was nothing pleasant nor - even worse - productive. After the initial question, 'What are you going to do with the Jinchūriki?", the two went on to the general complaints and holding everyone else responsible for appearance of the Nine-Tails. Hiruzen was the first to get an earful, ('How exactly did you ensure the safety of Konoha? One ANBU squad?'), then was Kushina ('That worthless girl let the seal to be weakened!'), and finally Minato, ('Did he really have to be so foolish to make a Jinchūriki pregnant?!') Hiruzen recollected the bloodied and smiling faces of Minato and Kushina, and tried to control himself, but he lost his cool at that last remark. He reminded the two that Minato had saved Konoha and deserved to be respected as a hero, then threw them out of the door. He couldn't remember the last time he'd been so furious.

It didn't solve the problem of the boy that soon escalated, and he could blame only himself for that. Hiruzen was too late to order the baby-sitter to keep silent about the whole business, and the ANBU agents, too, appeared to be only human with their typical weaknesses. Not even a week passed that the Hokage was given to understand the people of Konoha were anxious and demanded whether it was true that he was keeping the sealed Nine-Tails in his place. Hiruzen suspected Koharu and Homura might have something to do with that. In the meantime, it was proved beyond doubt that Biwako, Taji and ANBU hadn't been slain by the Demon, at least not by that one. Hiruzen couldn't put all pieces together - or he didn't want, for the picture coming into view was as absurd as fearsome. However, he knew there was no-one he could share his assumption with, and the thought he had to conceal something from Konoha's people weighed on him heavily.

Koharu and Homura kept ignoring him ostentatiously - they probably hadn't forgiven him the last time - so he couldn't count on any support from them. Biwako was no longer there. Jiraiya stayed abroad. Quite unexpectedly, he was offered some help by Danzō, who expressed his wish to take care of the boy and give him a seat in the Rook, but Hiruzen at once realized the reason behind the offer: Danzō simply wanted to control the Jinchūriki, and nothing else mattered to him. For his part, Hiruzen wouldn't let any child go to the Root, not to mention Minato's and Kushina's offspring. Thus, Danzō left displeased - that was, even more than normally - and Hiruzen once more realized the sad thing that one could be alone in the crowd.

When one day Konoha's citizens gathered in front of the Hokage's palace, in the mood of unrest, Hiruzen understood he could no longer escape the responsibility. He didn't like to rule people, he didn't like to show his power over them, but this time he had to summon all his strength as a leader and issue an order, in hope it would be obeyed. From the roof of the building, he announced that, indeed, the Fourth Hokage had sealed the Nine-Tailed Demon Fox in a newborn child and thus protected the village from the destruction, and that from then on everyone without exception was forbidden to talk about it. Whether the people were more shaken by the truth about the Demon, so far only presumed, or the Hokage's unprecedented decree, he didn't know, but their shock was obvious. Looking in their eyes, he realized no-one intended to treat the boy like a hero or a sacrifice; they would see him only as a monster.

Jiraiya appeared the following day. The sudden and unexpected death of his pupil and friend, as well as his wife, depressed him evidently, but he tried to conceal his sorrow behind coarse joviality - and Hiruzen allowed him to do so, feeling comforted by his very presence. They spend many hours - despite his busy schedule, Hiruzen didn't regret any minute of it - talking about all possible matters, trivial and important. With Jiraiya, it was so easy to become absorbed in conversation, and realizing it was, in a way, painful, too. There was no-one else, with whom he could discuss that way: openly, in trust, with mutual respect and pleasure. It was still so hard to accept that Biwako and Minato were no longer there, even though those two losses were so different.

Finally, they reached the topic of the unusual guest still staying in the Hokage's house.

"Then, what are you going to do with Naruto?"

Hiruzen started and gave his friend an attentive look. "Naruto?"

Jiraiya seemed to be trying to hide his contentment, which, given the situation, was grotesque - but so needed, too...! "I suppose they didn't manage to tell you, what a pity indeed... Or maybe they didn't want?" he kept asking theatrically.

"What about that... Naruto? " Hiruzen stuck to the subject.

"It's his name," Jiraiya replied. "The boy's," he emphasized though it was unnecessary.

"Naruto?"

"That's what I'm saying," his old student faked an offence. "I named him," he added, as if reluctantly, but Hiruzen could read him as an open book.

"Naruto..." he repeated once more.

"You've already practised," Jiraiya said under his breath. "Naruto Namikaze. Sounds like a hero, don't you think? But, wait... It seems you want to keep his family background a secret, hmm?" Hiruzen, deep in thoughts, nodded. "Then... Naruto Uzumaki. Sounds... less like a hero," Jiraiya decided. "More... like a rascal," he added with a spark in his eye. Then, however, he lowered his head and remained silent for a while. "I can't believe they are gone," he uttered in a strangled voice. "What is the world that we live in, Sensei?"

"Evil had been defeated once more," Hiruzen replied somewhat automatically. He had to believe it, and the more he said it aloud, the easier it became.

Yet, Jiraiya didn't feel like quitting the topic. "How did it happen? I still can't understand..."

Hiruzen put his both hands on the table. If there was anyone he could confine in and reveal his wild suspicions to, it was only Jiraiya, so he didn't hesitate longer. Actually, he realized it now, he'd been only waiting for that moment. "Someone was there," he said in a low voice. "Someone killed the whole ANBU squad, the midwife and my wife. Someone... controlled the Nine-Tails."

"Controlled?" Jiraiya couldn't hide his astonishment. "You know it's impossible. Only two men could do it. The First is out of the question, so you have to think of..." He paused with an intent look.

Hiruzen nodded. "But it's nothing more than a suspicion." He rubbed one hand against his forehead. "I have no proof, and such speculations sound like a lunacy. Still, I thought you should know. Keep your eyes open... I may be mistaken, but..."

"But your speculations are rarely wrong," Jiraiya supplied. "I'll remember about it when gathering information."

He started to get up. Hiruzen was filled with a feeling of a sudden objection; he wanted to keep him for longer. "Won't you see him? You've named him, after all," he called hurriedly.

For a moment, the big man sat in silence, but then he nodded. With irrational fear that Jiraiya would change his mind, Hiruzen quickly guided him to the room prepared for the child. After the revelations of the previous day, the baby-sitter hadn't appeared again, and Hokage had had to request one of the female ANBU to take her place. When they entered, the girl looked at them with some distraction in her eyes; it could be that she had no experience in nursing babies altogether. He should have thought about it, Hiruzen reproached himself for yet another unconsidered decision. The boy, however, was sleeping soundly, and it seemed he had been fed. The young woman slipped out of the room when they stopped by the cradle; apparently, she didn't want to stay in the boy's presence more than absolutely necessary. Hiruzen was no longer sure whether that thought made him sad or, rather, angry.

He ordered himself calm; he had better focus on the situation at hand. He fixed his eyes on the trouble sleeping in the bed, still unsolved. "You know, I'm sure Minato would like you to..." he started with hesitation as the new idea occurred to him.

Jiraiya tore his gaze off the boy's face and gave him a surprised look. "Me? Sensei, do I look like a proper candidate for a father?" he asked. "Well, it's true, I am respected, I have an occupation and means..." he enumerated and then winked.

"Maybe I should ask Tsunade..." Hiruzen wondered quite seriously.

Jiraiya burst out laughing. "Now that was a good one! Tsunade is fitted for a mother even less. Between you and me, Sensei," he leaned down in a confidential way, "I wouldn't entrust her with a child of my worst enemy." He straightened and looked in a distance over the Hokage's shoulder. "Though... she and I... and little Naruto..." The thought didn't seem to displease him.

Hiruzen shook his head, not in disapproval. Apparently, Jiraiya's feelings for Tsunade were still more than those of a friend, even if unrequited... That fact, or rather its permanence, was comforting.

A sudden move drew their attention; the boy was waving his hands, he must have just waked up. They turned to the cradle again. Jiraiya stared at the child's face; there was no joy to his gaze, only concern and sorrow.

"He has his mother's eyes," he said in a soft voice. And then he smiled, stretching his big hand to the baby. The boy gripped his finger, trying to focus his gaze but to no avail. Jiraiya leaned over the bed. "I can't take you know," he explained, looking at the boy with warmth. "But one day," he went on inspired and frowned, "I'm going to make you my student. You have to wait just a little longer. And grow a bit."

Hiruzen kept silent. Although it didn't solve the most urgent problem, he felt somewhat relieved at the thought that the boy - Naruto, he corrected - would have a guardian, more or less. Jiraiya, obviously reading his mind, turned to look at him again.

"My account is at his disposal. I'll draw up the documents, Sensei. It's better not to touch Minato's and Kushina's founds for now. Well, you're going to do what you'll consider fitting," he added, straightening his back. Naruto was still grasping his finger.

Hiruzen nodded. "He will lack no food nor clothes. What worries me is rather..." He paused.

Jiraiya's eyes were serious again. For a moment, they stared at each other without a word. Finally, Jiraiya smiled. "A man needs a woman. A woman needs a man. Both need love."

"I know that."

Jiraiya tossed his head back; his long hair waved in the air. "Then I'm sure you'll find someone to take care of him. Naruto Uzumaki, not the Nine-Tailed Fox." He mused. "Though, I sometimes think that someone should take care of him, too..."

"You're talking gibberish, my boy," Hiruzen decided.

"You're probably right," Jiraiya agreed. "I think I need a drink. It's a good occasion to have a look at the women of Konoha and make sure that they are still as beautiful as they were."

He started to unwind Naruto's tiny hand from his finger - with more delicacy one could suspect of someone of his size. The boy, obviously upset, gave a cry of a protest and waved his fists, grasping a handful of Jiraiya's mane. The man hissed and then burst out laughing.

"That's the spirit, little one! I can already see you have more of your mother than just the eyes."

Naruto blinked for a while and then, suddenly, began to cry. Hiruzen sighed; he had the impression a short while of calm had ended. Jiraiya picked the boy up to lull him, though there was more of uncertainty to his gesture, but then the temporary baby-sitter slipped into the room.

"I'll take care of him," she said in a quiet voice, taking the child.

"See you again, Naruto!" Jiraiya called, making sure his precious hair was out of the boy's reach.

Hiruzen made his way towards the exit, and Jiraiya followed, turning to look back every now and then. The boy's weak cry ceased to be heard after just a few steps in the corridor, and it seemed both of them welcomed it with relief neither wanted to admit.

"And when he'll grow a bit, I'm going to teach him the Rasengan," Jiraiya announced.

Hiruzen looked askance at him. "You know, you're terribly enthusiastic for a person who's just shifted responsibility on someone else," he said mockingly.

Jiraiya cast a close look at him. "It's still not time for me to take roots, Sensei," he responded. "I'm even not sure it will ever happen. There's so many beautiful women in the world that I couldn't settle down with just one... Though, I probably wouldn't say no to Tsunade..." he went on in the voice that was so familiar to his friends. "I promise you to take care of him once he graduates from the Academy."

"You've already provided him with livelihood, planned his education and career..." Hiruzen noticed, stifling his laughter. "Won't you choose him a wife, too...?"

Jiraiya resolutely shook his head. "No... In love, one has to listen only to himself," he said in a soft voice, and that was the last thing Hiruzen heard from him that day.

They emerged into the sunlit yard, parting without words, as if they were to see each other as soon as tomorrow, though they both knew well that it could be months, even years, before they met again. Hiruzen stayed in the doorway; Jiraiya made his way to the gate, raising one hand to wave goodbye. When he disappeared, Hokage clasped his hands behind his back and stared at the blue sky. A few yellow leaves flew over his head carried by the wind.

For the first time in many days, he felt refreshed. Maybe he wasn't that old, after all, if the youngsters could influence his mood like this...? He'd needed Jiraiya's visit more than he'd thought so. Somehow his student, in just a few hours, managed to breathe some optimism in him and make the situation easier. He didn't hesitate, he only looked forward and focused on the positives. Someone who didn't know him could regard him as a merry fool who had no idea of the real life. For Hiruzen, Jiraiya was someone who had suffered a lot yet overcome his ordeal and was still able to look at the world with joy. No-one else could prove a better example now. Deep inside, Hiruzen thanked unspecified gods for the student he could still learn from. The problems hadn't disappeared, but he was able to believe everything would be all right.

Now, however, he had only one problem to ponder upon.

Hiruzen dwelt on Jiraiya's words about love. Not that they sounded unfamiliar to him, quite the contrary. He was perfectly aware that Naruto - as a Jinchūriki - would need a special care. What was it that Mito had once said? 'We must fill the vessel with love.' He trusted Minato's abilities completely and was sure that the seal would hold for years, but it was also true that Naruto was like a time bomb. It was essential that he grew up to be a level-headed person, otherwise the disaster was inevitable. It was essential to tame the Fox inside him, absurd or impossible as it sounded. It was essential to support him as Naruto Uzumaki, not the Nine-Tailed Demon Fox, and help him discover and train his own powers that must have been considerable. How he wished Minato and Kushina could bring him up to become the pride of Konoha one day... But giving in to the sorrow changed nothing; he had to focus on acting.

There was still another thing, and he would take account of it, too, if it was any other child in question. During the years of his retirement, that he'd been forced to come back so unexpectedly from, he had the opportunity to observe people. He'd met with old and young, with sick and healthy. He'd talked with those on the threshold of their happy life and with those weighed down by worries of life. Above all, he'd taken liking to watch children, who seemed the greatest power existing. Children were the real miracle, with their never-ending energy and cheerfulness, with their emotions and feelings unbound by any social norms, with their curiosity of the world and unlimited faith in tomorrow. Happiness of a child was so simple one could easily get infected with it, and it required so little to create it: family and home were enough, along with the basic sense of security stemming from them.

Nevertheless - because the world was imperfect, and life could be cruel - Hiruzen had seen orphaned children as well. Most of them would be taken in by their relatives, but there were also some who had no-one left. Those children that no-one wanted, ended in the orphanage. And even though they didn't lack food, clothes or toys, and the nurses would apply themselves to taking care of their needs, those children, especially those bereaved at the earliest, were never happy. Their smiles were pale, their eyes were sad, and their faces were lifeless. They didn't cry, they were quiet, sitting alone and focusing on their toys - and never troubled anyone. They were like flowers on the barren soil: frail, wispy, colourless. They were strong enough to exist, even in a place that the sunlight didn't reach, but nothing else. They didn't see the world, staring only at the ground under their feet. Taking one step seemed the limit of what they were capable of.

Hiruzen didn't wish to see Naruto becoming like them, never in his life. The Nine-Tails would tear him to pieces regardless of the most powerful protecting spells and seals, even before the boy realized his existence. He couldn't let it happen, and the safety of Konoha was of a secondary importance; what mattered was the debt to Minato and Kushina.

That was why it took the Hokage a whole month to carefully thought about whom he could entrust the boy with. He kept picking and choosing, accepting and dismissing, even could be called demanding. Well, he wanted the best for Naruto... However, when he was confronted with reality, he received a shock that brought his plans to naught. He'd already known that Naruto wouldn't have an easy life, but he hadn't expected such a deep and unanimous rejection that Konoha's people showed. They'd respected his authority as the Hokage when he'd issued the decree, but they had no intention to take care of the child they didn't have to. 'I can't, Hokage-sama.' 'You can't ask me that.' 'You must understand us.' Hiruzen understood though he wasn't forced to. What he was forced to do was to, once again, swallow down the bitter realization that the people he protected were so much imperfect. He couldn't even call them ungrateful; after all, he had withhold the identity of the boy from them. Now he doubted that revealing it would change anything; for them, Naruto was the Nine-Tailed Demon, even if he was the Fourth Hokage's son. He was an incarnation of the Fox that had killed their beloved.

It was probably those two thoughts combined that reminded him of that woman.