Summary: This is a crack fic made while on a sugar high and watching a boring movie with some friends. This fic makes no sense either. Has cussing and sex in it. A lot of it.

Authors: Sammy (dragon tamer in training)

Kira

Ilia (Snicker212)

Disclaimer: We don't own Harry Potter otherwise Harry would be gay. Hermione would be dead and Hagrid would rule the world.

Harry and Draco made-out. Hermione blew up and everyone lived happily ever after. Except for Ron, he wanted Harry all for himself.

So, Ron killed Draco and put Harry under the body control spell I can't remember the name of and fucked all day long.

Then, Hermione found out and got really pissed. So, she killed the entire school. Then, She married Voldysnort, as he was the only person left. Even though, he's not human. Then he killed her because he got tired of her being smarter then him.

But, before Hermione died she had a kid who drove Voldysnort to kill himself and the kid took over the world.

Then, Draco and Harry came back as zombies, killed the kid, and somehow repopulated the earth.

Then, after they repopulated the earth. A boy named Alex Rider came back from death. He died from falling asleep in cars. He came back in the form of a snail that could talk. Then, Harry fell in love with the snail. They had kids who lived in teachers' desks. Draco loved the snail too. They all had a three-some.

The snail kept getting squished in between Harry and Draco. So, he went to a surgeon to turn back human. But, they put the face on the ass so he gave lots of head.

But, that's okay because Harry liked it better. Draco did too, though. So, they fought to decide who got what side that day.

They fought for quite awhile. The snail got mad. So, he cheated on Harry and Draco with Hermione's son. And then, he realized that the snail was a guy. And he was against gay sex. Although, he read Draco and Harry's love letter and their yaoi fanfictions. (Which are sexy!). Then, Hermione found out about the yaoi fanfictions. And, began reading them too. The whole thing is pretty fucked up. Including REAL fucking.

Draco and Harry were pissed that people were going through their yaoi collection. So, they stole everyone's yaoi and set the whole wizard world on fire.

And then, Kira appeared out of nowhere and stared at the fire, clapping joyfully.

And then, the new sign for death eaters death marks was the middle finger. Then Snicker212 popped out of nowhere and clapped joyfully with Kira.

Draco and Harry were having sex in front of them. Kira and Snicker212 were cheering and trying to join in. So, a four-some was born and the wizarding world was repopulated.

Then, Sammy appeared out of nowhere and took pictures because she's a pervert. Then, she joined because she was bored.

Sammy hit Kira to be rough and kinky and pulled out a whip with some rope…she leaves the rest to your imagination.

Be glad she left it to your imagination. Then, a Gwen Stefani look-a-like came up to them, and began stalking them all. Then, Snicker212 killed the corpse of Ginny.

Then the Gwen Stefani look-a-like raped them .

Sammy not liking not being the dominate one raped everone.

Everyone pretty much gets fucked a lot. A LOT!

The Gwen Stefani look-a-like ate the snail and all the snail babies in the teacher's desks.

Then, Draco and Harry got mad and ate her. Then, they turned into Vampire-Zombies.

Then, R2D2 came and got really mad. Snicker212 doesn't now why, he just feels like being pissed. Then, he goes to Hagrid's and find out Hagrid has a secret stash of marijuana. Then, Fang, R2D2, Hagrid, and Draco get high.

Harry never the one for being left out stole all the marijuana and went to go find Fred and George.

Then, Hagrid killed EVERYONE. He and Maxine repopulated the world, and had world domination.

THE END

Yes, it is a very fucked up story. If you are offended, we really don't give a damn. That is pretty much the whole reason we wrote this. And we were bored. So, flame if you want. We will just read your stories and flame them even worse. Bye!