Title: Memento Mori: Refrain

Summary: Even they deserve a second chance. (The sequel to The Portrait of Ciel Phantomhive)

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot

~1~

In silence I looked at them. I smile, my lips curving into a mockery of what I truly felt as I watched the people laugh and smile. Far truer but still unreal- I knew it wouldn't last long, their happiness. It would be fleeting and a painful awakening was waiting for them, when the time of their fall into hellish grace was over and reality knocks holding a death scythe at their doorstep. The lights shifted, the colors shifted- it was far worse than the rooms of color Edgar Allan Poe conjured up from his morbidity. It was a conglomerate of everything- it was chaos, as it always was with these things. The speakers blurred out noise, though minimal, it rattled my brain. I knew I wasn't thinking clearly anymore. Sitting on one of the empty metal chairs I reached for my phone in my pocket.

"I don't think I could stay here for long. I don't know how to socialize in this context. I'm not like them."

The "send" button waited for my click but it never happened I saved it under "drafts" and continued to humor stupidity. "No, I'll try one more time"

In the end my day ended in dismay as I drove home faking a non-existent head ache. What had I tried to prove there? That I could make me anything but myself? That I could make memories? I probably had forgotten too much. Too much. The grossness of the world had been forgotten by my mind somehow. It's vast stupidity wiped away by my conscious waking hours of toil and single-mindedness. I chided myself for caring. I hated my heart for feeling the odd pain it did. The world was throttling too fast to its end with wormwood far too eager to hit the paved streets of New York, why would I care? I had my own pace- had my own end.

The pocket watch ticked as I stared at it. It was an antique given to me by my parents for my fifteenth birthday. "An heirloom of a forgotten clan" they said. I loved it- the mystery it held and the darkness that surrounded its past. A coat-of-arms was engraved on its lid; a closed door with a visible lock of sorts a chimera with two heads and two wings on either side with thorny rose vines surrounding the bottom. Stars were sprayed across the shield-like door. Even with a child's eye I knew it was finely made and that to whatever clan it had belonged before its glory should not have been over-shadowed.

"You look down- is everything okay?" my mother asked her dazzling blue eyes filled with concerned.

"I'm fine mom." I said face twisted into a scowl.

"You don't look it- really, Ciel , you should know how to talk more."

"Well, it was just annoying- I think I wasted my time." I said with a sigh.

"Oh- your just not used to it being that way- after all not everybody lives like you do" my mother patted my head. "although I am quite proud you stuck to your values."

"I didn't make memories I destroyed them-this is what I get for trying to ease my loneliness." I berated myself harshly. I was different- I knew I was. I pride myself with it but sometimes even I feel like the loneliness is unbearable.

The chauffer turned to our street and gate opened for us.

Greetings of "welcome home" resounded through the servants. I broke away from their company hiding away in my room immediately. There in the sanctity of my room cum library I was able to silently seethe- keeping my thoughts together through the onslaught of emotions.

The television blurted terrorism, massacre, death and all the other plagues of mankind. The little lights of my personal four-foot Christmas tree dimmed, as if they were attuned to my apparent loss of hope in mankind. Earlier that evening I had been invited to party of sorts, I say "of sorts" because it turned out to be a complete din. It was the first time I had faltered in my years- the first time I felt vulnerable, as everyone had agreed to make fools of themselves in their "merrymaking". I felt my body shiver with a familiar air of disgust as if I'd already seen enough grossness in my past life, had I lived one. Needless to say- I left early with a polite good bye and a completely fake smile. I would never be part of such things and I couldn't stand to watch such careless decisions made, after all, I was the heir of my father's corporation and of more consequence the name Phantomhive which I carried like a badge and a title. As a son in the family of Phantomhive there are things I cannot and definitely will not do.

"Well you know of these things…" I sat on a couch and spoke to the pocket watch I held "You've seen the best and the worst of humanity after two hundred years. Although- I wonder was your last master an honorable noble of ill fate? Or an evil one filled with incontinence, avarice and greed- only looking for self-gratification with no reason?" I swayed it like a pendulum. It never answered but I felt better just watching it move like the unstoppable arms of the time it held- it was one constant the world couldn't bend, a master even to those who had sold their souls for power.

"Young master, it's time to wake up… I have prepared your breakfast…" a smooth voice called to me.

I stiffened and launched myself into a sitting position. My pajama top clung to my back as beads of sweat formed on my forehead. I was panting and tears flowed from my eyes. The dream or rather nightmare was still vivid in my memory. I could still feel the heat of the flames- the grime of soot on my cheeks the tightness in my lungs as the dark smoke choked me. The cries of "mother" and "father" still rang painfully loud in my ears. And then the sting of heat on my side and the cry of pain- the smell of burning flesh that stung my senses. Then darkness, then the voice- flowing sweetly, deeply- knowingly as if it had been a piece played to me since childhood. A haunting piece with notes that intrigued me for I had never seen them written nor heard them played by any other instrument.

I tried to flex my left hand but something cold and hard met my skin- the watch, dampened by my sweat; seven-thirty- perfect for my fencing practice to be held an hour later.

"Well, to say- I'm quite pleased with your wake-up call" I said voice tinted with humor and sarcasm.

I climbed out of my bed and went on with my day as planned.

The Christmas air was crisp and unbelievably cold as I trudged down the snow-covered park grounds muttering small curses every time I slipped.

"You know, Ciel, you should stop mopping about it…." I heard Lizzy blabber a little ways ahead of me. "I mean for all you know it might have been okay for them…"

"Lizzy, drop it- I'm done mopping so stop consoling me. I don't care about what is or isn't their principle- even the law forbids alcohol and that wild display of lawlessness was just plain insulting. In fact, I'm insulted to be the same race as them." I finally retorted as we reached a bench and put on our skates.

My cousin and I went out to the frozen pond hand-in-hand, more for my sake than her's. My knees wobbled and my teeth chattered. Why had I let her talk me into this? I knew I had no ability to balance hence my horrible dancing skills and now I have to walk-on ice?

"Ciel can you handle yourself?" Lizzy suddenly asked though looking to another direction.

I followed her gaze and saw that Lord James was also enjoying the frosty December morning skating. Lord James the pig-headed plebian of etiquette was the campus heartthrob in our exclusive school. Among other rich brats he stood out- richer, better looking and brattier- actually one could say to the point of rotten. No one ignored Lord James, no one except me. He was so much like the robber-barons of the fourteenth century- therefore a complete farce of the title he showed off and the life he had.

"I can manage, Lizzy, you can go" but I loved my cousin more.

As I clumsily plodded along the ice shaking and making embarrassing posses every now and then to prevent myself from falling face-first into the ice. I once again conjured up my chant of colorful words. Scowling like a spinster in a bridal shower. The snow-covered gardens and reflective pond would have been a very enjoyable experience had I not been stuck in the middle of it. Slowly I tried to inch to the nearest bench available, taking small baby steps quivering every two or so.

I guess I should have figured out that at one time or another I'd have to embarrass myself considering the fact that I was literally out of my field. All my care and time went to waste because some idiotic skater decided to skid too close beside me. Chivalry is truly dead among the young- even in the blessed soil of England. Losing my balance I was more or less literally pushed into throttling speed. My eyes wide with fear at losing control. The last thing I saw: the bench- I was hurtling towards it at break-neck speed, and then I closed my eyes and prayed that I would still be able to stand straight after the whole ordeal. The pain of impact and of my femur crushing never came. I had hit something- definitely, since I stopped moving- but as I moved my hands I felt soft wool instead of the freezing bench.

"Are you okay…"

My eyes flew open at the sound. It was the voice that called me this morning!

"Ah…" I stuttered as I stared into pools of amber, no crimson- it was bright crimson. "yes, thank you."

"Be more careful, we don't want to scar that pretty face, do we?" his tone was more mocking but I could still hear the concern underneath. He placed a hand on my freezing cheek.

"Thank you for helping me- but don't be so familiar!" I slapped his hand away.

"Ciel! Are you okay?" Lizzy came, almost flying in her skates "I'm so sorry I never should have just left you!"

"Lizzy, I'm fine really! Don't be so guilty.."

"Oh but if Mr. michealis weren't here you would have gotten really hurt!"

"Mr. Michealis?"

"Oh- I'm so sorry! Mr. Michealis thank you for helping my cousin! My name is Elizabeth Midford my father runs a deal with your company. This is Ciel Phantomhive his father is also one of your company's business associates…"

"I see. I'm glad to help." Bowing mostly to my direction. "My name is Sebastian Michealis, vice president of Crow's Work Toy and Confection Company. Nice to meet you Ms. Midford, you're as sweet as you're father described you to be and Young Master, I'm very pleased to have finally met the future Head of the Phantomhive estate- I never tire of hearing about you." He smiled at Lizzy and smirked at me.

"Quite glad to meet you too, Mr. Michealis, and thank you for the rescue…" I didn't correct him- he was mocking me- I knew it. Let him call me "My Lord" if he wants to. I wasn't inclined to care.

In a few minutes a crowd of people were around us- mostly the girls who were fawning over Lord James- all of them stared at the strikingly handsome Sebastian. I would have to admit that in way of appearance Sebastian Michealis was nothing but pleasing. He could either look kind and caring or seductive and mysterious changing nothing but his smile. And he always looked good- I even have a theory he'd look good chained and bleeding…not that I think of it.

"Well I'm very sorry to have to suddenly leave but- I have a feeling your adoring public awaits." Taking Lizzy's hand I started to move off.

Author's Note: To all those who red and put this on their lists sorry for taking it down the first time under consideration I decided that the chapters were cut too short and some other improvements must be done. So here I re-post it with an apology and a wish that you be patient. And of course the traditional please review!