26/100: Solitude. Sephiroth/Genesis, with implied Angeal/Genesis
My smutty muse abandoned me again because I refused to write a Nagao Kagetora crossover story... So have some angst instead... I have copius amounts left over from the last chapter of The Eleventh Hour...
Title is totally stolen from an Evanescence song... called Solitude... see what I did there?
Solitude
Forever Me, Forever You
So, this is what it felt like to be alone. The experience wasn't technically entirely knew, for Sephiroth had spent the entirety of his childhood without a friend, but now, but now he had lost everything that he had once held so dear.
Maybe he had held on too tightly. Maybe he let his stardom overshadow the hopes and ambitions of the only ones he ever opened himself completely up to. Did he not pay the right attention to what was right in front of his face, begging for the affection that he'd rather spend on his work?
Sephiroth wasn't a completely inconsiderate man; he knew how to organise and spend his time efficiently and effectively. Days were work-consumed whilst the nights would be spent sating all the desires that built up during the day around his fervent scarlet comrade. However, Genesis always wanted more, a constant show of affection, instead of a 5-9 timeslot after duties finished. Sephiroth had always tried, but failed, and he assumed that Genesis knew this for he never complained once. He'd sneak quick and deep kisses between meetings and appearances and make sure his body got enough contact with that of the younger's as they sparred. Everything seemed perfect.
That was until he got the notice that Genesis was MIA during his 3-month stint in Wutai.
That was until he went to Wutai on the pretence of one of Lazard's missions to find his lover and convince him to come back home but only got a wicked smirk and two words that could not be spoken more bitterly.
"It's over,"
Only in hindsight did the General start to find comfort in those words. The fact that Genesis stated what he did meant that he acknowledged that he and Sephiroth once shared something special between them. The words of affection were not wasted breaths and that the touches and kisses in the dark corners of the SOLDIER floor were not without feeling.
However, even in that moment, with his voice so strong, certain and sour, Genesis could not even look at the silver haired man; shoulders shaking slightly but not slightly enough. It seemed to hurt them both equally, maybe Genesis even more so, since only he knew the motive behind his actions. Some part of the General hoped that his lover was being wholly consumed by guilt, if only it would bring him back to him.
Sephiroth blamed the degradation for their break-up, the twisting in Genesis' mind, his desperation and insecurity. He wanted to heal and to help, but it seemed Genesis did not trust him with such things.
They had once been so close, in tune with each other to a degree that was just impossible for any other to obtain, and those bonds were something the redhead would never be able to sever, no matter how hard he hacked away with that beautiful crimson sword and narrow hands.
The only thing that came close to rivalling their bond was the one that Genesis had with Angeal. They had been lovers since late childhood, only parting ways to accommodate for their new companions, but they never stopped holding hands and exchanging glances and fast kisses. Sephiroth didn't mind watching, he didn't mind at all.
In fact, at this point in time he was grateful. Grateful that Angeal had dropped everything, his own dreams and young lover just to follow Genesis and catch him every time he stumbled and fell.
Sephiroth hoped that the black-haired man would try to breathe some sense into the redhead, to bring him home, although in his heart, Sephiroth knew Angeal would never compromise the freedom that Genesis needed. Neither of them could bear to see the man back in ShinRa like a bird, caged.
Even now, Sephiroth could feel the cracks in Genesis' foundations, long and widening and the anxiety that riddled him, the cold he felt as he was breaking. He could feel as strong arms encircled that slim waist, planting soft kisses to pale skin that was streaked with cinnamon hair as Genesis slept, he could feel because there was a sense of content that bubbled up within him.
It wasn't the solitude that Sephiroth minded. After all, he had grown up with it. Angeal had entrusted him to look after Zack, which Sephiroth would do, because Angeal was doing everything he could to look after Genesis; give him the affection and attention the man needed.
And as long as Genesis was happy, Sephiroth's personal feelings meant very little.