Happy birthday Kate04us!
This is an add on to Nutckracker episode, yes I know... I'm late to the party... oh well :P
It's also a Christmas gift to all Flynngirls out there!
Thanks to my wonderful beta OldFashinedGrl, all mistakes are mine. Not the characters with those I only play!
The amazing cover is made by anonymouspebble. Thank you!
Merry Christmas everyone!
Enjoy!
"...And everybody knows that you're in trouble
Everybody knows what you've been through
From the bloody cross on top of Calvary
To the beach of Malibu
Everybody knows it's coming apart
Take one last look at this Sacred Heart
Before it blows
And everybody knows..."
Leonard Cohen.
MCMCMCMCMCMC
Andy Flynn was getting out of the shower when the ring tone of his phone drew his attention. He quickly wrapped a towel around his waist and with a hurried pace he tried hurried to get to the call before it stopped ringing.
"Flynn" he said bit breathless and with a scent of annoyance. He didn't check the caller ID from the frenzy of it. Getting a call now could mean only one thing and if it really was Provenza with a new case well... they would have some words about it, lots of unhappy words from partner to partner. They just solved one murder and he was getting ready for the dinner at Sharon's and the ballet later, and frankly, for once, Robbery-Homicide could do their jobs. He wasn't asking for much, everyone knew that he and Sharon were busy tonight, so really... it better be someone else.
"Oh... Andy" her voice was soft and she was clearly taken aback by his harsh answer. "Is this is a bad time?"
He thought about it for a second. He was standing in his bedroom barefoot, half naked, dripping small droplets of water from his tousled hair on the wooden floor, goose bumps forming on his back and down his arms, steam from the hot water evaporating from his flesh, and the cool air in the room drying very slowly his skin. He grinned and for a fraction he thought he could mess with her about it but he knew better than that. He grinned for a moment as the thought of teasing Sharon about his current state of undress played through his mind, but knowing better, he rapidly dismissed the idea. Andy quickly cleared his throat, almost scolding himself for such a coarse way to answer this call. "No, not at all, how can I help you Sharon?" He sat on the edge of his bed careful not to get it too wet.
"Did you leave yet?" she seemed in a hurry and he could make out from the background noises that she was in the kitchen getting dinner ready.
In a flash he could picture her in her kitchen, an apron around her waist, her hair pulled back with a pin or maybe put behind one shoulder exposing her neck at its length, her cheeks flushed from the heat of the stove. Before this fantasy could get any further he tried to concentrate on her voice. "Nope, I was getting ready. What's up?"
"Well..." she paused for a moment and he could now clearly hear the running water, probably for the pasta that she wanted to make for dinner. "I ordered dessert from our favorite bakery, that cheesecake you like so much… with the raspberries, and I asked Rusty to pick it up on his way home, but he is getting late, they had some sort of emergency on set so he had to stay longer at the location and..." She paused again and sighed, it was obvious to him she really didn't want to ask for this. He would decided to make it easier for her. "I can pick it up, you know, it's no trouble. You should have let me take care of dessert though, when I offered it."
They had briefly talked about dinner, just after they finished with their reports and started getting ready to leave the office. He'd told her how he or Nicole could help her with everything, but she stubbornly decided that she would make it all by herself. They'd called and told Nicole it was a thank you dinner for the invitation to the ballet. The younger woman had agreed, even if it took a bit of persuading on Sharon's part. Nicole didn't want to leave Dean to deal with kids all by himself before the show, but Sharon promised they would also discuss the other matter that had been bothering her lately. In the end Nicole let herself be persuaded by the offer. Actually Nicole told him that she was glad she could spend some time with him and his girlfriend and her son without distractions of any sorts. To know them a little better. At that moment Andy broke out in a cold sweat… again. He knew he should have just set it all straight right there about him and Sharon but, that was the reason for the dinner anyway. So there was no point in upsetting his little girl before all the fun started, and in all honesty, he was very much looking forward to having Nicole to himself with Sharon present once more.
"I know, but I didn't want to bother you, and I thought I could get it done fast. Are you sure it's not a problem?" He really detested that she hesitated so much about this. After the whole mess that had happened in the last few days, it was getting harder and harder to approach her. She was bothered by this situation, of that he was certain.
"Sharon," her name rolled off his tongue like a small puff of air. "I will get it, don't worry. The bakery is on the way to Nicole's home, so really, it works just fine." He wanted to reassure her that nothing had changed, not on his part, and that she could still count on him, especially for such a simple task as picking up a damn cake. It was all one big mess.
"Alright. Thank you." She was more confident this time.
"See you soon. Are you sure you don't need anything else? Do you want me to come earlier to help you since Rusty isn't there?" he tried hesitantly.
"No!" The answer was so quick and determinate that it even halted his breathing. "Eh... No, thank you, I can manage a dinner for four."
"Alright, I'll be on my way in a few."
"Yes." she lingered for a moment as if she wanted to say more, but the call ended before either of them started to speak again.
Now he really had to start to get ready, the room was getting colder and time was ticking. Choosing an outfit for the night was not hard. He already had it planned. He had picked it up earlier from the dry cleaners near the station. He liked it there; they were cheap, fast and efficient. It wasn't his favorite suit but for the ballet darker colors were preferable.
Back in the bathroom, he tossed, the wet towel on the floor and started to clean up the mess that shaving and other routines had created. At least he wouldn't have to do it later in the night. Next, he found his slippers and then vigorously searched for underwear and the rest of his clothes. Dressed in socks, dark boxers and an undershirt he examined the pants for a moment. He wondered if they needed ironing, but after further consideration he was happy with how they looked.
Fully clothed, he searched for the only thing that was missing, his suspenders. Luckily for him, he found a pair that coordinated perfectly with his tie and fit just nicely with the rest of the outfit. He took a good look at himself in the mirror and flashed his best smile. He better start practicing it, maybe that could be the way to soften Nicole and Sharon about all this mess. He wondered for a moment what Sharon would be wearing tonight. He hoped at least they could be coordinated in some way, he knew she enjoyed it when that happened and he didn't mind it in the slightest. With the last item on, he got the black jacket from the hanger and out of habit he grabbed the badge and clipped it at his waist. He checked for keys, wallet, and a few other things like mints, toothpicks and handkerchief and he stuffed them in his pockets. Turning off all the lights, he closed his door and headed to his car.
The traffic was bearable, it would be worse later tonight and they really should factor this in to the timing plans. He was sure Sharon had everything planed out to the last second. She hated to be late, just like Nicole. His daughter was a time freak too, so he should not worry that much about it. They would be on time. His ladies would make sure of it.
Checking the clock in his car,once again, he realized that he had a few minutes to spare on the road, no need to hurry. Waiting at the red light, the flower shop drew his attention. Maybe as an apology he could buy Sharon the Gerber daisies she likes so much? She mentioned few times when they were out that the pale pink or soft orange colors of the petal's flowers ones were her favorites. The thought crossed his mind. He actually started to consider the idea of it, or the insanity of it, because if he would actually showed up at her door with the flowers, her favorites nonetheless, Nicole would for sure get the wrong idea about them, again. Although he could buy them also for his daughter, too, but then she would get all suspicious about it and the hole he was already in it would just get deeper and deeper. There was no way he could get out of it by buying flowers. He would save that thought for the next time he got in trouble with either of them.
The parking of Sweet Lady Jane bakery had a spot just for him. He hoped that he could get this errand done without problems. Once he was inside the smell and the warmth of the baked goodies hit him hard, filling his nose and lungs with their sweet aroma and making his mouth water as his stomach started to grumble unexpectedly. The line wasn't that long but he would enjoy it, he could stare at the small cupcakes and other sweet threats. There were so many of them, all colors and shapes, the light illuminated them in such a wonderful way carrying the Christmas theme all around. He should buy some of them, now that he thought of it, when he and Sharon came here, every time she got one cupcake or two, but he saw her basically staring at the sea-salt brownies, devouring them with her eyes and mind, her features changing as her secret craving showed all over her. Once, he proposed buying them for her, the moaning sound she made echoed in his ears till this day, but she smiled shyly and declined his offer. Ever since, the only thing that Andy wanted to do every time they came in here is feed her these brownies and see her losing herself to the taste of them in sweet agony.
"Sir how can I help you?" the woman's voice snapped him out of his fantasy.
"Eh... yes, I want to pick up the order for Raydor"
"Here you go, Mr. Raydor." The woman handed him the packed orders and then added "Please send our regards to Mrs. Raydor." Andy was taken aback by her comment and rolled his eyes at her. Yes, they were regulars here, but who wasn't? The whole of LA came in here for the sweets. Yes, he came here only with Sharon, several times actually and it had become one of their favorite places, right after that little Italian place they went to often for dinner. Hearing them call him Mr. Raydor would not bother him so much, and the fact that the girl assumed they were married was funny and he hoped he could share it with Sharon, but unfortunately Andy knew the real Mr. Raydor way too well. The thought of being taken for Jack made his stomach roll and suddenly his grip on the bag holding the cake was like a vice. Way too often while Sharon confided in him about her ex-husband, he was forming a secret plan to plant his fist in Jack's face.
Andy shared a history with the man that was obvious. In his life God only knew how many times he had screwed up and hurt people around him, his family and kids, but he was trying to make amends, working step by step to recreate a relationship with his daughter and son. At the present moment it was the most important thing for him. He cherished every small little bit of time they could give him. He went to therapy, for crying out loud, only for them. He actually didn't like to think about it too often, it still hurt that he was such a disappointment in their lives. But one thing Andy Flynn knew very well, he was a fine man in comparison to Jack Raydor.
He felt so glad for Sharon that she finally decided to ditch that jackass and when Jack hit the road, they celebrated, just the two of them. Yes it also involved the joy of the adoption, but somehow he knew she needed a special moment for that other matter. She was divorced and he was more than fine with it.
After paying for the order he left the bakery and carefully placed the dessert in the trunk of his car, securing the bag so the cake would survive till they got to Sharon's. The ride to Nicole's place was easy enough. More cars were getting on the road, mostly because it was dinner time and Saturday night in LA meant lots of glamorous events during Christmas time. He still had to take Sharon to the Christmas boat parade in Hunting Beach, she said once she liked to see boats all lit up with Christmas lights. She preferred that better than Candy Cane Lane neighborhoods, were some of the installations were just tacky. For him it was all the same, he just loved to see her all excited and giddy about this season. She could be truly adorable, it was hard to look away from her.
Nicole lived in a ranch style house that was now beaming with holiday spirit. The long, low roof line was enveloped in sparkling lights of every color. In the front yard there was a sleigh with reindeer and Andy could make out the outlines of Santa climbing to the chimney on the rooftop. It looked all so festive. On the large window's shutters there were beautiful small wreaths and a large one on the front door. The only place that seemed bare in comparison to the rest of the house was the attached garage. Andy knew the boys were very fond of this season, just for that reason his small bungalow was also decorated and ready for the holidays. Nicole promised that she, Dean and the boys would stop by one night for dinner. He really didn't want to disappoint them so in his own living room there was a big Christmas tree with lights and decorations. Provenza hated it, which made it all the more worth it.
The second Andy parked in front of the house and turned off the engine his daughter was out of the door. Surely, she saw his car pull up and it was no surprise to him that she was ready on time. It was one of the things that she didn't get from her mother. Susan was always late, everywhere they went. He stepped out of the car, met her half way and took the casserole she was holding.
"Hi, sweetheart." He leaned in to her and Nicole offered her cheek to her father for a kiss.
"Hi, Dad." She smiled and when she had slipped into the car he passed her the dish.
He got into the driver's seat, pulled out and drove towards Sharon's condo."It smells delicious. What did you make?" he asked quite curious.
"Green bean casserole, you know, Grandma's recipe." She was shy about it, which surprised him and he glanced shortly at her. "Sharon said not to bring anything, but I don't like coming empty handed, and I know it's your favorite so I thought it would fit.".
He was truly touched by the gesture and squeezed her hand lightly. "Thanks, that's very thoughtful." It was indeed his favorite dish. It wasn't Christmas if Momma Flynn didn't make her famous casserole. He hadn't made it himself in a while too and his was a poor imitation. It wasn't that hard to prepare, but in his family the only one who was able to make it in exactly the same way was his sister Elaine. He was sure his mother whispered the recipe to her on her death bed or his sis just extracted the recipe from her. The two of them were quite something. It was always better not to cross them, ever. He should call old Elaine, it had been a while since they talked and with Christmas around the corner he was sure she would like that.
"Aunt Elaine called the other day." It felt like Nicole was reading his mind.
"Did she?"
"Yes, she was thinking about visiting us and, or … well, you know we don't have much space left and now that we are remodeling the kitchen we would have finding room for them with us. And..."
"Don't worry," he interrupted "I'll call the old girl and invite her to stay at my place, it's been too long since anyone used the guest room anyway, even if I will have to deal with her nut husband, again." He rolled his eyes and sighed a bit at the thought.
"Dad..." Nicole started amused by him "Just because Uncle Tom is a Yankee fan, does not make him a crazy person." She rather enjoyed her uncle and the antics between him and her dad were always the same. The men were fond of each other until they started the baseball discussion.
"Honey, trust me, it does." The determination in his statement made her giggle.
"I thought we were over it by now." This argument between two men was shared over the years since she was a little girl and it never changed its tune.
"There is no over it in baseball." he murmured under his breath. "I thought I raised you as a Dodger fan, what happened to my little girl?"
"She married a Giants fan, dad." she said apologetically. She could already imagine the long hours of discussion that would take place at the dinner table when Dean, Uncle Tom and her dad started talking ball, at least her dad would have some backup from her brother. Truth be told, they were indeed both raised as Dodger fans. No matter how many problems there were between their parents over the years of their marriage, no matter how long Andy was away from his children, he always tried to take them take them to a game. Sometimes the atmosphere was unhappy or forced but he was there. It became a family tradition.
With a smile on her face he saw Nicole relax in her seat as she looked at the Christmas decorations and festively illuminated houses. The silence between them was easy, not awkward or dull. There was a part of him that really wasn't looking forward to having this dinner and the talk after it, but maybe with Sharon at his side this wouldn't too badly screw up the relationship that he was forging with Nicole. He would be devastated if she decided to turn on him or started to ignore him. Sharon insisted he clean up his mess, and he would, for the sake of everyone, but he didn't have to like it. And frankly, it wasn't his fault that Nicole had gotten the wrong idea about them. He never encouraged her with in her thinking. Sure, he also never corrected it, but he never realized that it would create so much tension, most of it between him and Sharon. Sharon was acting strangely towards him and maybe it was a good idea to clear it all up. So they could also move past this. She was so distant at the office the other day, this situation was making them both distracted and uncomfortable. This dinner would be a pain, he might have to take another pill to control his blood pressure. Maybe it would all be easier if Nicole had brought the kids with her?
"You should have brought the kids with you, Sharon really wouldn't mind it." He broke the silence before he worked himself up too much.
"I know, but the kids were a bit nervous and excited about the ballet. I will let Dean handle them." She smiled absentmindedly at him and felt all warm inside at his suggestion. "Dad, this Sharon effect is doing you good" She smirked and watched with pleasure as his eyes widened at her.
"Sharon... what?" he was stunned for a moment and had to blink a few times as the street started to get blurry.
"Sharon effect. She has a really good influence on you. It's what Dean and I and well... Mom... are calling it. You are a different person around her." Nicole tried to clarify the concept to her dad, "and we like her," she pause for a moment and smirked "Well... maybe not Mom."
Andy snorted and rolled his eyes, "Yeah, of that I have no doubt."
For Susan, nothing he would ever say or do, or no matter how much he tried to apologize for the past, it would never be enough. And yet, somehow, Andy could not come to terms with it, he would keep trying to fix that broken piece of his life too, even if it drove him to the a heart attack, or to his grave.
They finally arrived at Sharon's condo. He parked the car in the visitor's parking spot then took the dish from Nicole's hands so she could get out of the car more easily. She murmured a soft thank you, when he got out of the car and handed it back to her. He was very glad the dessert in the trunk was in the same position he put it in. With the bag in his hand, he walked towards the elevator with Nicole. He was starting to feel a bit anxious, it wouldn't be an easy night. The outcome of it might be catastrophic. He braced himself against the elevator wall, as always, he would hope for the best but prepare for the worst.
When they reached Sharon's floor, Andy took a breath before he actually knocked on the door. Nicole was smiling and they heard the movement inside the house. Rusty horridly opened the door and let them in.
"Hi Lieutenant, Nicole." The boy seemed out of breath and his tie was still untied. Andy remembered that he had issues with it, and guessed Provenza hadn't taught him everything after all.
"Hi Rusty." Nicole gently touched his shoulder as he took the dish from her hands and took it to the kitchen.
"Sharon will be out in the minute." He said as he joined them again in the living room. They were taking off their coats Rusty gallantly helped Nicole with hers.
"No problem, kid." Andy moved to the kitchen and placed the dessert on the counter. It wasn't the first time he had been in her home, it was a familiar space for him. "Here, let me help you," he called to Rusty and started helping him with his tie.
Nicole observed the two of them carefully. They were at ease together. After tying the tie, her Dad slapped Rusty's shoulder and the boy laughed at something funny that he had said. It looked like this familiarity between them was something growing with everyday.
"Oh there you all are." Everyone's attention was drawn to Sharon, who now stood in the living room. At the sight of her, Andy's mouth went dry and his blood flow changed direction from his brain to other parts of his body. He gazed at her from head to toe and back. Her dress was dark, lace hugged her body all over exposing her gorgeously long legs. Her legs were his weakness. It was going to be very difficult for him to stay focused during the night. Damn it, she would be death of him.
"Sharon" Nicole practically ran to her and they exchanged hugs and greetings while Rusty and Andy exchanged a look. "You have such a lovely home. Dad never mentioned it."
"Thank you" she smiled and looked up at Andy, for the first time actually seeing him and she was very pleased with what she saw.
"All these ballet decorations, they fit so well together. I'm sure the boys would be amazed by them." Excitedly she scanned the whole room with her eyes.
"Next time you really should bring them."
"And the view," Nicole stopped for a moment and looked outside the windows, "it's breathtaking. Do you have a balcony?"
"Yes," Rusty interrupted "here, let me show it to you." Maybe giving the adults a moment to themselves would be a good idea. The air in the room was way too thick for Rusty's liking. Although he was sure it wasn't what a proper buffer was supposed to do, Sharon was so determined she didn't needed one, that he didn't feel guilty at all for leaving them alone.
"Oh, thank you." Nicole replied as Rusty showed her the way then shut the door behind them.
Andy was still focused on Sharon when she smiled at him, he felt himself begin to relax. They hadn't exchanged a word yet, but the silence was comfortable. She passed by him on her way to the kitchen, and if Andy Flynn thought this dress could not affect him more, well he was deadly mistaken. The zipper of the dress ran from her shoulder blades, down her back, all along her backside till reaching the very edge of the dress's hem. She was wicked in her choice of outfit, and from the narrow eyed look she gave him over her shoulder, he wasn't sure if he left the thought unvoiced or if he actually murmured it breathlessly.
He quickly followed her and cleared his throat, "You look nice." It was the only thing he could actually manage to say and not make a complete fool of himself. She turned to him and her expression softened.
"You do too. I see you got the dessert, thank you." Sharon peeked in to the bag took the big cheesecake and placed it inside the fridge.
"It wasn't a problem, you know that." He heard her hum in agreement, but her attention was back on the bag and well wrapped small box inside. She took it in her hands and turned to him.
"What is it?" she asked arching her brow.
"It's for you. As a thank you and I guess, an apology." He paused for a moment observing her. She was giving him her full attention. "Look Sharon, I know I messed up with all of this, and I'm really grateful that you are willing to help me out, and I know you are mad at me but..."
"No Andy, I'm not mad at you... I'm just..."
They were interrupted by the sound of the opening balcony door while the kids stepped into the room talking among themselves. Rusty watched them and rolled his eyes as Sharon placed the small package inside the fridge as well.
"Nicole, you shouldn't have gone to the trouble of cooking, I meant it when I said it earlier."
The young girl smile shyly. "I know, but the idea of coming empty handed wasn't an option for me and really, it was nothing."
"It smells delicious." Sharon stated as she placed the casserole in the center of set table.
"It's a family recipe" Andy cut in and smiled proudly.
"Yes, Dad's favorite."
"I see."
"Can we eat now? I'm kinda starving." Rusty plead with them and earned a glare from Sharon.
"I guess we could start, it's all ready." And with that she invited everyone to take a place at the table while she brought the pasta with peso and fresh cut tomatoes and started to serve each plate.
Dinner started and the conversation was pleasant. They talked about Christmas plans, Nicole's kids and their improvement in ballet class, although Andy was still determined to teach them about baseball. Rusty told them about his crazy day on set. It all started at the first location, he'd done his typical morning coffee run only to find out they had a sub in for the 1st Assistant Director and he didn't want the venti caramel macchiato with soy milk that the regular 1st AD drank. No. He wanted a grande chi tea latte with 2% milk, so back to Starbucks at the height of the morning rush he went. Once that was done he was behind schedule for the morning run to Whole Foods to pick up the order for craft services, that's the department that handled all the snacks and food on set. After he'd finished unloading 32lbs of pineapple, and don't ask him why craft services needed 32 lbs of pineapple, because props had immediately had sent him to a warehouse in the valley to pick up a replica World War II era German helmet and he'd missed his favorite part of the day, the afternoon goodies from craft services. Basically he'd spent the day in traffic running in circles, missed all the good food they had on set, instead eating lunch from a drive through clown and had just barely made it home before they'd arrived. Rusty was tired and wished this day could be over and yet it was far from it.
Nicole had so many questions for Rusty about his job that they entertained each other. It was good. Andy could keep breathing calmly and trying not to stress himself too much over what would happen next. He watched Sharon more than usual, seeking her gaze, and she tried to somehow reassure him with her soft smiles but at this point he was doomed.
Over dessert they tried to educate Rusty about Nutcracker, he had some questions and since Nicole had helped the kids prepare for tonight, she answered them thoroughly with Sharon's assistance here and there.
"So, did you catch the killer?" Nicole asked with hesitance, not knowing if it was something they would be happy to talk about.
"Yes, we did. We closed the case few hours ago." Sharon was now leaning in her seat. She clasped her hands on her stomach while she answered Andy daughter's curiosity.
"Just in time for dinner," Andy added fidgeting in his seat. He was beginning to feel restless and started to toy with the small dessert fork from the unfinished piece of his favorite cheesecake. Something in his stomach was starting to twist killing his appetite.
"Who did it?" Somehow the curiosity was winning over the girl and she really wanted to know everything about the case.
"Crazy Diego."All the heads turned towards Andy as he shrugged.
"It was the guy from the video I saw at the station?"
"Yes, the very same."Sharon answered trying to steer conversation in another direction. For once she didn't want to talk about it. It wasn't a case that overwhelmed her with emotions and dizziness but in some way she preferred to give it a rest.
"What was his motive." Apparently Nicole was just like her father, when she set her mind on something it was hard for her to let go. Sharon caved and decided to indulge her sighing so quietly that only Andy noticed and he took over providing the details that could be shared about the case.
Since Rusty knew all about it already, he stood up from his seat and offered to make some coffee for everyone. He would need it after the day he had starting so early this morning, staying awake through the whole play would be a challenging thing for sure. When the delightful aroma of freshly brewing coffee started to fill the room, Sharon stood up from her chair and let father and daughter carry on with the conversation while she started to clean the joined her and they worked together pretty well. It wasn't the first time Andy watched them in this domestic scenario, the familiarity between them was energetic and compelling. He offered to help as did Nicole, but they said they got this and it really looked like they did.
They both stood up and walked over to the counter where Rusty and Sharon were finishing putting everything away. Here it was. Judgment day, or rather hour, more like five minutes. Andy tried to look as relaxed as possible, flashing his best smile that he'd practiced earlier. It couldn't hurt, right?
Rusty offered to get the coats for the ladies and it all started. If his stomach was clenching before, now it felt like the organ was reduced to a tiny little ball of nerves. After Sharon's encouraging look, he started the conversation. He had a speech in his mind he had been rehearsing for a while now, and yet it was getting harder and harder for him to express himself. At some point, he knew he was rambling, trying to bring light to the situation that may or may not be complicated, that he didn't fully understand himself. He saw Nicole getting madder and the only thing he could do was to throw out a joke. That gained only rolling eyes and groans. Sharon stepped in and somehow he was grateful. Although the whole thing spun out of control when Rusty took pity on them and tried to give his version of the facts. The two adults found themselves mocked by their kids in a way that disturbed Sharon the most. Andy tried to help there, but at some point his hole was getting deeper and shutting up was the only option. All of a sudden it was all over.
Nicole was smiling. She took hold of his arm and steered him toward the elevator. He didn't get even a chance to glance at Sharon as she was closing the door. Rusty was by her side.
When they arrived at the car, Rusty opened the door for Nicole as Andy let Sharon into the passenger seat. He rounded the car and folded his long body into the seat. Gripping the steering wheel tightly and starting the engine he felt the biggest relief dawning on him. His body started to relax and all the muscles released the tight grip that he felt during all the last part of the conversation. His girl wasn't mad at him, and the whole mess had kind of resolved itself. He still didn't really know what had happened. He would have to think more about it, but for now, for now, he was happy that Nicole was still there, speaking to him and smiling. That was the most important thing.
The traffic wasn't as bad as they'd expected. He was able to navigate through it without problems. He glanced at Sharon next to him and by the look of her posture she was processing everything that had been said in the last few minutes. She fidgeted with her hands trying to keep them clasped on her lap but failing at it. Sitting very straight she looked outside the passenger window and he could hear the wheels in her brain turning and running. He could sympathize, really. He still remembered the shock he felt when Provenza had pointed out they were dating and opened his eyes completely.
It wasn't the first time that the old grouch had started the same argument about him and Sharon and their friendship. The old man had issues about it, it was well known, but one evening he almost reached for his gun and for a second Andy indeed feared for his life. It was the night when Andy told him he was going to invite Sharon to a Dodger game. He even proudly showed him the tickets. At first Andy didn't really understand what the big deal was and why his partner was ready to shot him dead. Then they started talking, more like shouting, and Provenza argued told him to pull his head out of his ass and open his eyes. In his opinion they really were past the we are only friends crap, and it was time, at least for him, to face the truth. Andy had argued and disagreed sharply with his partner.
Although when the day of the game came, he did feel strangely nervous about it. When he came to pick her up, she was all ready in her jeans and t-shirt, a cotton sweater on top, smiling, her hair pulled back in a ponytail. The one thing he would always remember about that day was her smile and excitement. She was thrilled that they were going to see a game, it had been way too long since she had been to Dodger Stadium. Usually she went with Ricky. She told him, in a very unusual small voice, that once she asked Rusty to go with her, and Andy could easily imagine how that conversation had ended up for her. Her snort laugh was self-explanatory. The day had gone great, their team had held on pretty well, had eaten junk food and drunk way too much soda, but it had all been worth it. She had been smiling, her eyes sparking and he had never noticed, not till that day, how much color they showed. But there was one moment for him, one moment of disturbing clarity when it all made sense to him.
The sun had been going down and an intense glare prevented them from seeing the field. Sharon had her sunglasses on, but still it was hard to watch. At some point she had leaned toward him, her body colliding with his. She had pressed herself against him and whispered something in his ear about the score. While he was trying to listen to her voice over the loud crowd, her hand had slipped behind his neck and stolen his hat. The whole move was downright sneaky and the victory laugh she had given when she put it on was something he would not forget soon, or at all. It was right in that moment he understood. Something inside him had shifted. He hadn't been ready to name it, but it was blossoming in him. After the game they went to the gift shop and he bought a new cap. Andy asked Sharon to keep his as he would keep the new one, and without any arguments, she did.
After that he had never hated Provenza more in his life.
Opening his eyes meant starting to care more and more for her, trying to be there in every moment, for every laugh and difficult time, as much as she allowed him too. He meant it when he said he would wait for her in case she needed him. Those words were engraved in stone now. There was no going back from that. Not now and not ever.
It was all Provenza's fault that Andy had gone gladly with Sharon to the charity banquet. He still remembered her shy voice when she had proposed it to him and by the look on her face, she had been ready to accept his refusal. She had bitten her lip while he reassured her that he would be there and they would have a nice time. And they had.
Between dancing and a very good meal, he had enjoyed it and she had seemed content with the evening itself. It was a black tie event and he didn't mind it at all. The boring speeches were more bearable every time she crossed and uncrossed her legs as he got a glimpse at her thighs. She had been more touchy that night, and it was one sweet torture.
So he really could sympathize with her. It was not easy when someone opened your eyes and shoved the truth at you in that way. He could recall her face, but when that happened to him, he wasn't any better.
Maybe he could have told her about it before, but really what was the point?
Andy Flynn in general wasn't really interested in labeling things. They did kinda date. All those movie nights and concerts and other small little things they had done together these past few months could be classified as dates. It could be confusing for someone else but not really for him. He had one certainty, he and Sharon were friends. If she wasn't ready for anything else it was fine with him. Spending time with her, getting to know her better every day, that was what mattered to him. It was fine. He would never push her. He would wait and hope. Deep down he had this big hope that it would all fall into place, that at some point something would shift inside her like it had done for him. Maybe that was why he never wanted to set it straight with his family about the two of them. He was hopeful that by the time that moment came, it would not be necessary. However if this was all she was willing to share with him, he would take it without any complains, because bursting their little bubble meant more mess, which they might not be ready to face.
They arrived at the theater and Sharon got out of the car before he could open the door for her. After checking that everything was in place they entered the lobby and got in line to leave their coats with coat check. Andy placed his hands on her shoulders, his fingers brushing along her arms as he helped her out of her coat. There was a moment that he longed to touch the lace that covered her body, but the softness of her felt coat material would do instead. She didn't mind the contact or his proximity, but somehow she quickly stepped out of his space with a nervous smile. She needed space, he understood.
After the coats were taken care of, Nicole went ahead to search for Dean and the kids. It was unlikely that they would be allowed to see the boys before the show started, but Nicole promised she would see what could be done about that.
Andy watched Sharon very closely; she was sharing with Rusty and other members of Flynn's family the wonders of backstage. She lived it with Emily and understood every little step and detail about it. It was familiar to her and she walked them through it with patience.
Andy's son wasn't present. He'd had to cancel last minute; work had called him away. When Susan delivered the news, clearly trying to irritate him, a feeling of sadness enveloped Andy. He wasn't going to play her little game tonight, not with Rusty there, but regardless as soon as she understood what was happening, Sharon's hand landed on his arm with a soothing motion.
When the dimming lights and faintly ringing bells of the lobby started to announced the beginning of the spectacle, they navigated through the crowd to find their places. The small red seats weren't looking too comfortable to Andy. He was surprised when Sharon sat next to him, he couldn't have asked for more. During the first act he observed her features change as the music transported both of them into the magic land of The Nutcracker. They both had seen it already. She had probably seen it a thousand times and then some, and yet she still got excited at every little change in the scene, at every little, or big jump made by dancers. They were sitting in the dark. The only lights illuminating the auditorium came from the stage, but when the kids showed up on stage, she turned towards him touching his leg and he could see, or rather, feel how her eyes danced along with the boys. It was amazing. He was truly amazed by her and the way she was enjoying herself. They both checked on Rusty a few times, he was still awake; Andy would give him points for that.
After the play was over, Andy, Sharon and Rusty had waited for the boys. The dancing duo ran out bouncing all over them energetically. Hugs and kisses where exchanged as Christmas wishes were mostly whispered. The families were mingling and it brought a warm feeling to Andy. Sharon was entertained by his grandsons, Rusty was talking with Dean, who actually had a hidden passion for chess, and Susan had stopped irritating Andy and just let it go. If this could become a Christmas tradition, he wouldn't have any objections.
And that thought followed him till they were again in Sharon's building. He wanted to see her to the door like he always did after their encounters, but there was the Rusty matter. He had been quiet in the car and from the rear view mirror Andy had seen his eyes closing a few times. Sharon asked him questions and made a few comments about the performance and iconic music, but the kid was had not been responsive enough for her likening, so she let him be. When they parked, as if on cue, the boy yawned and mumbled goodbye to Andy then hurried out of the car to the elevators. Buffer or no buffer, he needed his sleep.
This time she waited for him to open the door for her. He extended his hand and she took it. Her hand was cold to the touch. He wanted to grasp it and put in between both of his hands to warm her, or maybe just to simply feel her skin on his for a while longer. They stood in front of each other, her eyes avoiding his, all of the sudden the clip of her clutch was more interesting than anything else in the whole world. Her grip on the small purse was tight, her knuckles going white and Andy wanted to take her hand again, lace their fingers together and kiss them so she could relax. But she was distant, so instead he leaned his back against his car, shoved his hands in his pockets and waited. Eventually she would say something or stop being so adorably distracted.
"Well..." he tried to get her attention. He saw her smirking, taking a deep breath as she tilted her head and finally met his eyes. Between the locks of her hair, her earrings sparkled. He was intrigued by that spark, like a magpie, and had to suppress the urge to touch it, to nuzzle her hair away, to feel the cold metal on his lips while he lightly brushed the spot behind her ear.
"Yes." the syllable was drawn out at length. She shifted in place, "This was a lovely night." It really was, everything was enveloped in Christmas; the lights, the music, the family and kids. Despite the uncomfortable start of the evening, indeed, it was one lovely night.
Andy took a step forward, moving away from the car and starting to close the distance between them. "Listen... Sharon..." he tried, but she shook her head and crunched her nose, closing the remaining gap between them.
She tapped his chest gently. Her hand felt cold as she smoothed his tie in intimate cares. "Not yet" she whispered.
Time. She needed time, and that she would get. He wasn't going anywhere. It wasn't a hardship. He understood perfectly. "I'm sorry" he whispered back. Andy needed her to know that when he apologized earlier he meant it. That it was true. She diverted her eyes from him again and took a step back.
Time and space, that he could do.
"Alright, thank you Sharon for... everything tonight."
A smiled tugged at her face reaching her eyes. He exhaled quietly and leaned down to her for a their usual goodbye kissed on the cheek. She didn't back down and out of instinct she kissed him back. Her lips lingered on his skin, tingling. Her perfume was still there and was teasing him mercilessly. It lasted only a second and when they parted he was grinning at her smugly.
Sharon shook her head, this man really would exasperate her."Andy... we will talk about this." He wasn't off the hook yet.
She was bothered by so many things and right now he didn't know what he could do to make it better, or at least not make it even worse. "Yeah... I know... how about over dinner next Tuesday or whenever works for you?" he tried, he had to.
Sharon made a face and actually thought about it for a moment, "If you insist, I will let you know." One way or another they would resolve this.
"Oh yes... I do. I do a lot."
"Goodnight Andy," and with that she walked over to the elevators. He would let her go alone, but wait until she was inside. She knew that.
"Night," the word was spoken softly, not reaching her ears.
He knew he wasn't out of the doghouse yet. She needed to process everything that had happened tonight and probably in the last few months too. They would talk, and then talk some more. They would move past it because they were friends. It was just between him and her.
Andy Flynn was a hot-tempered man who had created a mess, but as always, he tried his best to clean it up. It wasn't the first time that had happened, it wouldn't be the last time. No one attracted trouble like magnets as like he did. And if you added his partner, Provenza, to this equation, the universe conspired against them, trying to throw them into situations that were more than hard to explain to others. Andy would get his foot stuck in his mouth. His mouth would start working before his brain could catch up and the troubles would create themselves because that's how it goes and... everybody knows.
Thank you!
I know... my Andy Flynn is a chatty beast :P