You know Haku; it's really hard lying here beside you right now. It's never been hard before, not once.
Not back in the early days when you were only a child and would crawl in with me because of a nightmare; not when we would have to share a bedroll because of the cold; not when we could only afford a room with one bed at an inn; not when husband and wife was a convenient cover; not when you admitted the way you felt for me and things slowly progressed in what is the closest thing we could ever have to a real relationship.
But as I'm lying beside you here on this bridge in the snow, your skin is colder than it's ever been during any of those nights and it's painful; it only hurts worse because I know it's all my fault. You were always so warm, Haku. It used to amuse me to think that your talent was with ice.
When you appeared between Kakashi's attack and me, and the last thing you said was my name, I could feel my heart breaking apart. That's the only way I can describe the pain I felt. Well done, I guess; you managed to break the ice heart of a demon. After that, the only thought I had left was to kill Kakashi for taking your life away; for taking you away.
And then Gâto arrived, and said that he had planned to kill us once the mission was complete, anyway. I was mad enough that you died for no reason, but when he kicked you, it was all I could do not to charge in blindly. I knew that I had no chance in my condition.
But that Uzamaki kid made his speech. I cried for the first time I can remember, and every tear was for you. Sense left me entirely after that, it would seem.
I killed Gâto then. I really do believe what I said to him, that I won't be going to the same place as you. I would trade anything to be able to, though. I don't want to leave you alone again.
I remember that once when you were younger, you asked me what I thought went through a person's mind when they died. I told you that they think of their mistakes and their regrets; they think only of what they should have done instead.
You disagreed with my theory; it was the first time you ever openly disagreed with me. You said that you thought people would think of their 'precious person' as they were dying; remember the shared experiences. I suppose you were more right about that than I was, if today is anything to go by.
That was something I always liked about you, you know. You would always say 'precious person' instead of anything else. You would never use rubbish terms like 'true love' or 'soul mate'.
I liked your way of putting it, actually. Nothing will become truly precious unless there is real meaning behind it, so much more than the simple meaning that anyone can get from it, and it is precious for reasons known only to you. It's more like love than anything else people come up with.
Well, as strange as this is for me to admit to, Haku, you are my precious person as well. I wish I had realised that before now. So I could have given you what you gave me; so that you could have had everything that you deserved.
I can barely feel the snow now. It's such an odd time for snow to be falling, too.
But you know the stories, Haku; when an Angel dies, snow will fall. And my Angel has died and left me for Heaven. I just wish that I weren't already named as a demon so that I could have a chance at spending eternity with you.
Goodbye then, Haku. This is the last time that I'll be able to see you, and I'm going to miss you more than you could ever know.
Whoa, sad now. Perhaps writing stuff like this is a bad idea. XD
It really kind of jumps around a bit too, but that's the way I think. And I'm claiming that as a valid excuse.
Hmm, maybe I should write a sequel? Or have this as a prequel to 'Heaven' and just edit that a little so that it's kind of...better.
Anyway, I would love any reviews. I just like to know that people like my ZabuHaku stories, since I feel horribly nervous about posting them...or writing them...
Ciao!