Newsie Craziness
Chapter 1: Les Lost It
Spot asked Jack and Race, "Have youse guys seen me cane?" Jack said, "No..." Race said, "Ise haven't seen it, really." Andy walks in, "Spot...for some reason Les has your cane, and is running around cackling...'" Spot jumped up, "Holy cracker jacks, he is?" Andy replied, "Yeah...and when did you start saying holy cracker jacks...I mean come on now..." Dawn pops out of nowhere, "Yeah you know that's my catch phrase." Spot shook his head and went outside to find Les holding his cane and running around in circles, "Mahahahahahaha!" Spot yelled, "Les give me my cane back." Les stopped and stared at Spot. Les yelled suddenly, "ATTACK!" Then comes charging at Spot. Spot screams like a school girl and hides behind a bush. Les yelled, "Youse can hide from me!" Les jumps into the bush and wacks Spot on the head with the cane. Meanwhile back inside Jack tells Race, "Ise having trouble with David, we'se have been dating fore a while now...but now...he is acting all womanly, like when Ise went over his house...he was wearing a dress and there was bows on his head..." Race said, "It depends on what color dress was he wearing?" Jack answered, "Uh...I think it was pink..." Race to himself, "Damn that man whore wants ta do him, everyone knows the color pink means youse want to have sex...well that's what it said in Pretty in Pink magazine..." Jack asked, "Race what was that?" Race said, "Uh...nothing..." Andy whispered to Dawn, "Is it just me or is it getting hot in here?" Dawn looked at Andy, "Its just you." Andy got up and ran outside to go find Spot. There she saw Les on top of Spot hitting him with Spot's cane. Andy just stared at them. Spot choked out, "Andy a little help heah?" Andy said, "Oh sure." She walks over to them and says to Les, "Hit him over the head and maybe he will faint." Spot yelled, "Not that kind of help!" Les hit Spot over the head. Spot fainted. Andy pointed at Spot and laughed, "HAHAHAHA!"
Dawn came out and asked, "What's all the noise about?" She saw Spot knocked out and laughed, "HAHAHAHA!" Andy said, "My words exactly." Les started dragging Spot away. Andy said, "Yeah...I'll just follow them..." Andy follows Les. Dawn goes back inside to find Jack and Race making out. Dawn screamed, "HOLY JUMPING FURBALLS! Jack and Race break apart. Race asked, "What?" Dawn walks over to a wall. Dawn explained, "This picture is upside down!" She the fixes the picture. Jack and Race stare d at each other. Jack said, "Okay..." Race grabbed Jack's shirt and pulled him into another make out session as Dawn said, "I wonder who put the picture upside down..." Meanwhile outside Andy followed Les who dragged Spot into an alley. Les said, "Ise will be the new Brooklyn Leader." He then took Spot's slingshot and key. Les asked Andy, "Andy can youse help me put Spot into a trash can?" Andy answered, "Yeah sure." Andy grabbed Spot's feet and dragged him to a trash can nearby. She opened the lid and pushed the trash can to its side. Andy then pushed Spot into the trash can and closed the lid. Les said, "Thanks Andy." Andy nodded, "I'll just be taking Spot out of your hands." She walked away dragging the trash can behind her. Les yelled, "I AM THE NEW LEADER OF BROOKLYN FEAR ME!" Andy walked into the lodging house taking Spot out of the trash can. Andy spotted Jack and Race making out on the couch. Andy said, "What do you know their gay...I hear a musical moment coming on, Dawn don't you?" Dawn answered, "Yes, I do Andy." The two of them sang:
Dawn
Aah, an afternoon alone with
My favorite book, "Broadway
Musicals of the 1940s."
No roommate to bother me.
How could it get any better than this?
Andy
Oh,hi Rod!
Dawn
Hi Nicky.
Andy
Hey Rod, you'll never
Guess what happened to
Me on the subway this morning.
This guy was smiling at me and talking to me
Dawn
That's very interesting.
Andy
He was being real friendly,
And I think he was coming on to me.
I think he might've thought I was gay!
Dawn
Ahem, so, uh, why are you telling me this?
Why should I care?
I don't care.
What did you have for lunch today?
Andy
Oh, you don't have to get
All defensive about it, Rod...
Dawn
I'm NOT getting defensive!
What do I care about some gay guy you met, okay?
I'm trying to read.
Andy
Oh, I didn't mean anything by it, Rod.
I just think it's something we should be able to talk about.
Dawn
I don't want to talk about it,
Nicky! This conversation is over!!!
Andy
Yeah, but...
Dawn
OVER!!!
Andy
Well, okay, but just so you know —
IF YOU WERE GAY
THAT'D BE OKAY.
I MEAN 'CAUSE, HEY,
I'D LIKE YOU ANYWAY.
BECAUSE YOU SEE,
IF IT WERE ME,
I WOULD FEEL FREE
TO SAY THAT I WAS GAY
(BUT I'M NOT GAY.)
Dawn
Nicky, please!
I am trying to read...
What?!
Andy
IF YOU WERE QUEER
Dawn
Ah, Nicky!
Andy
I'D STILL BE HERE,
Dawn
Nicky, I'm trying to read this book.
Andy
YEAR AFTER YEAR
Dawn
Nicky!
Andy
BECAUSE YOU'RE DEAR
TO ME,
Dawn
Argh!
Andy
AND I KNOW THAT YOU
Dawn
What?
Andy
WOULD ACCEPT ME TOO,
Dawn
I would?
Andy
IF I TOLD YOU TODAY,
"HEY! GUESS WHAT,
I'M GAY!"
(BUT I'M NOT GAY.)
I'M HAPPY
JUST BEING WITH YOU.
Dawn
High Button Shoes, Pal Joey...
Andy
SO WHAT SHOULD IT
MATTER TO ME
WHAT YOU DO IN BED
WITH GUYS?
Dawn
Nicky, that's GROSS!
Andy
No it's not!
IF YOU WERE GAY
I'D SHOUT HOORAY!
Dawn
I am not listening!
Andy
AND HERE I'D STAY,
Dawn
La la la la la!
Andy
BUT I WOULDN'T GET
IN YOUR WAY.
Dawn
Aaaah!
Andy
YOU CAN COUNT ON ME
TO ALWAYS BE
BESIDE YOU EVERY DAY,
TO TELL YOU IT'S OKAY,
YOU WERE JUST BORN
THAT WAY,
AND, AS THEY SAY,
IT'S IN YOUR DNA,
YOU'RE GAY!
Dawn
BUT I'M NOT GAY!
Andy
If you were gay.
Dawn
Argh!
Spot woke up to find Andy and Dawn singing and Jack and Race making out. Spot said to himself, "Man Ise must of been knocked out pretty hard.." Les slid down the stairs bandit-stool and shouted, "NEVER FEAR BROOKLYN IS HERE!" Spot said, "Great Les is the new leader of Brooklyn..." Les came over to Spot and wacked hom on the head again. He went out like a light. Andy said, "Man things like this has to happen more often."
A/N: Okay, here's the deal...this is Andy Lynn Austin here, Dawn Black Hallowraven and I are teaming up and writing this story, taking turns writing each chapter, so the next chapter will be Dawn, this story will be on Dawn's account so look for it there...anyway...please review and tell us what you think so far...Peace out...