Disclaimer: I own nothing related to Stargate: Atlantis or its wonderful characters. I'm merely taking them out for a spin. Any other characters are of my own creation and not meant to resemble any person, either living or dead.
Author's Note: I know! It's been forever! But this little story would not leave me alone nor morph into something longer. So, here it is in time for Christmas Day (in the US, at least). I hope every one of you had/has a wonderful Christmas and New Year!
This story was beta'd by theicemenace in a fit of last-minute Christmas inspiration. Thank you, my friend. As always, let me know what you think! ~lg
oOo
What are you doing for Christmas? The question had become something of a mantra on Atlantis. With the city back on Earth for the first time in the Expedition's five-year mission, most had been able to arrange for family holidays in the United States. Even those from other countries, like Radek, brought their families to the States for the Christmas.
Carson, however, dreaded the question. It had been directed at him more often than not, though he couldn't fault anyone for asking. Some, like Sheppard and Rodney, were genuinely concerned that he had a place to go during the Christmas season. Most, however, just wanted to see what the clone would do now that he was back on Earth. He hated it, hated the curiosity, and hated knowing he could never go home. In a very strange sense, he had lost his home every bit as much as the other Carson had lost his life.
The other Carson. Carson clenched his jaw and forced himself to refocus on the computer screen in front of him. The constant reminder that he truly did not belong on Earth and that he was a copy of another man—a good man—had made his "homecoming" less than perfect. Throughout his time with Michael, he had dreamed of returning to Earth, sitting with his mother for a good cup of tea, laughing with the lads at the pub, and in general enjoying all the things that most humans from Earth took for granted. Instead, he got a stasis pod, daily injections, a long stay at Stargate Command, and a life helping the sick and wounded of Pegasus. Most of the time, Carson didn't mind how things had turned out. He found fulfillment in his work. But at times like this, when his nurses hummed Christmas songs and someone had decked out the infirmary with garland and lights, he wished he had never come back at all.
Realizing he wouldn't get anything else done tonight, Carson saved his research and stood. A good stretch later, he shed his lab coat and headed for the mess hall. It was late, well after the usual dinner rush. But he preferred it that way. Most people looked at him with something like pity, and Carson couldn't stand it. Yes, he was a clone. And, yes, he had questions about his life. But having others think of him as less than human. . . .How did he just accept that he was a copy of an original and move on? Carson didn't know the answer any more now than he had when he came out of the stasis pod. He'd just learned to put on a brave face. After all, how could his emotions and reactions be fake? They were his!
Rounding the corner, Carson caught a glimpse of Sheppard's team just leaving the mess hall. They'd had a mission that day, and were all quite tired. But the familiar sight made Carson smile.
Rodney would tell him that he really was Carson, that his experiences with Michael and the Hoffan plague made him a unique individual. Sheppard would say that the circumstances of his "birth" didn't matter, and Teyla would simply accept him. So would Ronon. Somehow, their reactions soothed him, but they didn't give him many ways to move on. He still lay awake at night, wishing he could cope with the reality that he would never be the Carson Beckett the team remembered.
"Hey, Doc, wait up." Major Lorne's voice pulled Carson to a halt. The owner jogged over to his side a moment later and fell into step with him. "Had a question for you."
Carson paused again and faced his friend. In recent months, he and the major had become decent friends. Now, he met Lorne's eyes and hoped the major wouldn't ask the question he suspected was coming.
"What are you doing for Christmas?" Lorne lifted a hand when Carson opened his mouth to speak. "I ask because my family's got a bit of a tradition. We always bring someone—friend, colleague, or even a kid who doesn't have a family—home for Christmas and have them join us. I know things are tough for you right now, and I wanted to let you know you're welcome."
Carson blinked, completely unprepared for the invitation. Sheppard had already invited him to join his family, but the colonel had also invited Teyla, Ronon, and Amanda Cole. Rodney and Jennifer made certain that Carson was welcome with them. But all of those invitations felt like they were having pity on him. After all, Sheppard had adopted Teyla and Ronon, and he had, in recent months, fallen rather hard for Amanda. And Rodney planned to propose to Jennifer for Christmas. "I don't have any plans, Major," Carson finally said. "An' I don't want to interrupt."
Lorne snorted. "You're not interrupting, Doc." He started back toward the mess hall. "Frankly, I've had the Fourth of July, Halloween, and Thanksgiving with my family. Christmas is. . . .Well, no one should be alone. That's why Mom started having each of us invite someone. There's always room."
"What about gifts?" Carson reached for a tray as soon as he entered the mess hall, noting that Lorne did the same thing.
The major shrugged. "We make sure everyone's got one." He grinned. "It's been fun to shop for my nephews this year. I went a little overboard."
Carson studied the major. Lorne hadn't said much about his return to them, but the major found ways to constantly make Carson welcome. It was one reason why they'd become such good friends in the first place. Lorne and his team had been stranded in the middle of a storm during one of their deliveries to Carson's off-world clinic, and the two of them had started comparing families.
Now, though, Carson wondered if he could do this. Not physically, because he knew Woolsey and Sheppard would sign off on his leave in a heartbeat. But emotionally. His mother had passed earlier that summer, the grief over the first Carson's death finally getting to her. And all of his siblings had found ways to move on. He had a nephew somewhere named after him, and his eldest niece had already decided she would become a doctor. Just like Uncle Carson. It touched him that he had left such a legacy behind, but it also made him realize that his life wasn't in Scotland anymore.
Looking across the table, where Lorne finished his paperwork for the day, he sighed. "When are ye leavin'?"
Lorne glanced at him. "Tomorrow," he said, his words trailing as he finished signing a document. Then, he gave Carson his full attention. "If you're not sure, you can just come on Christmas Day. Or a few days before or after. It's up to you."
Carson nodded. "I'll think about it." Then, he smiled. "Thank you, Major."
"No problem."
The two men finished their meal and went their separate ways. Carson found himself in his quarters, unable to sleep as he stared over the city of Atlantis. He loved this city and her inhabitants, but having Earth right there wreaked havoc on his sense of peace. How could he blend into America when his heart belonged in Scotland? He couldn't explain it, and he wished he could find a reason to let Scotland become a part of his past.
What would it hurt to join the Lorne family for Christmas? He knew that the major had a sister a few years younger, single mom with two boys. And that Mr. Lorne had passed just before Evan came to Atlantis. It wasn't a massive group, like his family would be. And he clearly wouldn't be the only friend there.
Looking back over his quarters, he made a decision. He'd go to San Francisco to visit the Lornes. Maybe a day or two before Christmas so he didn't interrupt all of the major's vacation. And then he'd return to the city and find a way to move on. Staying here and pining for what he had lost before he ever existed just would not make for a happy life.
oOo
Visiting his mother's house and visiting his mother's house at Christmas were two totally different things. Evan smiled as the Painted Lady came into view. A sunny yellow, the house almost radiated warmth and cheer. Of course, it helped that the day had turned rainy and cold in the wee hours of the morning. Paige Lorne's Christmas tree glittered from the front window, and the scene around it was straight out of a fairy tale. Evan watched from his truck as his two nephews chased one another around while a fire flickered merrily in a little-used fireplace. He also knew that a Christmas village had been set up, and the house would smell like cinnamon and nutmeg.
Gathering the gifts he'd brought with him, he ducked his head and hurried to the porch. The door opened after his knock, and shouts of joy greeted him. Travis, his eldest nephew, shouted and ran his way while Gabriel grinned. Both boys hollered at him. "Uncle Evan! Mom! Uncle Evan's here!"
Erica Lorne, his younger sister, laughed from her face at the door. "Yes, I can see that," she said dryly as she hugged him.
Evan laughed with her, seeing the strain of the last few years on her face. Erica had done well as a single mother, but balancing a job with the needs of her eldest son had taken a toll on her. He saw the same kinds of lines on her face that lined his, and that made him a little sad. Instead of dwelling on it, he let the boys carefully carry his Christmas gifts over to the tree while he wrapped his sister in a hug. "How are you?"
Erica returned the hug. "Good." She smiled when she stepped away. "No special lady to bring home?"
Evan laughed at the question. Erica had been asking it of him since the day he came home from P3X-403. Now, it had become something of a joke. "Nope. No special lady. But I've got a buddy coming on the twenty-third."
Paige, who had stood back and let her children greet one another, smiled at him. "This doctor you told me about? Is he coming?" Her smile widened when he nodded. "Good." She hugged her son close, always mindful of his career in the military and the uncertainty of life.
Then, he was mobbed by his nephews. Within an hour, Evan found himself sprawled across the living room floor, building with Legos and loving every minute of it. He had offered to help his mother and sister with dinner, but both of them insisted he stay and play with the boys. He knew it kept them out from under foot, and he didn't get the chance to be the cool uncle very often.
How would Carson react to all of this? The doc talked about having a large family, and he was a genius when it came to frantic mothers and frightened kids. But calming them down to treat them medically and letting them just be kids was completely different. Still, it had done Evan's heart good to see the email from Carson, letting him know that the doctor had accepted his invitation.
"Uncle Evan?" Travis pulled him out of his thoughts. "Why are you sad?"
Evan stared at the boy who, by all rights, should never have lived. "I have a friend who lost his mother this year. He's coming in a few days to spend Christmas with us, and I'm just thinking about him."
Gabriel scooted closer. "She died?"
"Yes." Evan met the younger boy's eyes. "She was elderly, and she lost another one of her sons a few years back. She never recovered."
Travis stared at him. "Martin's grandpa died," he announced, leaving Evan wondering just who Martin was. "But he was really old and really sick."
Evan smiled at the childlike statement. "That happens sometimes," he said quietly. "But the important thing is that Dr. Beckett has a place to come for Christmas. That's here with us."
Gabriel's eyes slipped toward his brother. "Your friend is a doctor?"
"A very good one."
"Travis sees lots of doctors."
"I know." Evan sat up and ruffled both boys' hair. "But Dr. Beckett's not coming to be a doctor to anyone. He just wants to have Christmas like all of us. Can you help me with that?"
Both boys nodded enthusiastically, and Evan helped them pick up the Legos. His mother nearly had dinner on the table, and Erica had listened while she worked.
Thinking about his family and having Carson there made Evan recall the conversation he'd had with Sheppard just a few days back. The colonel had been frustrated when every effort to get Carson to participate in Christmas failed. The good doctor didn't want to be added into another's Christmas just because he was the "odd man out." Sheppard thought that the Lorne tradition of inviting someone outside of their family would ease Carson's frustrations, and the ruse had worked. Carson wouldn't be alone on Christmas, and he'd have two rambunctious children to distract him from his loss.
Evan just hoped that, when Carson returned to Atlantis, he realized that family sometimes wasn't blood. Sometimes, circumstances led one to choose their family, and Carson had plenty of that to surround him.
oOo
December Twenty-Third arrived before Carson was really ready for it. He'd thought a lot about Major Lorne's invitation in the last few days and had shared a few emails with the other man. Because of those, he had a gift for each of the nephews as well as one for Mrs. Lorne. The two siblings would receive a gift card each, particularly since Carson had no idea what to buy for Evan's little sister.
Truthfully, he looked forward to getting away from base and being around civilians. He loved Atlantis and most of her crew, but the holiday season had highlighted just how lonely he truly had become. Sheppard, Teyla, Ronon, and Amanda had set off the day after Lorne left, and Rodney and Jennifer departed the same evening. Most of Atlantis's personnel had left the city with a skeleton crew, and it showed. Somehow, everything seemed sad.
The evening of the twenty-third, Carson followed a couple others into a Jumper bound for the West Coast. They had taken to calling it "the mainland" in a tongue-in-cheek manner. But he always thought of the Pegasus galaxy when it was said and wished things could have been different. Leaving the city for a time was just what he needed.
In San Francisco, Lorne waited at a prearranged area. Gathering his things, Carson slipped into the cold, rainy evening with his gifts in his arms. Lorne came forward to help him, taking a few of the gifts and nodding toward a white pickup. "Wow, Doc, you didn't have to go get Christmas gifts!"
"Aye, I did." Carson watched as Lorne stowed everything in the truck and then climbed inside. "What's Christmas without the gifts? An', besides, your family's openin' their home to me, Major. Least I can do is help make their day a little better."
Lorne grinned at him. "While we're at home, Doc, it's 'Evan.' Otherwise, my mom might take to calling me by my rank to get my attention."
Carson grinned. "Is that like the middle name?"
"Yes." Lorne pulled out into traffic. "Anytime I heard her use my middle name, I knew I was in trouble."
The two men fell silent while Lorne drove through San Francisco. Carson smiled at the Christmas lights and idly thought that getting out of Atlantis was the best thing he could have done. Now that he was away, he realized he'd been rather morose lately.
The Lorne house was a surprise on many levels. The warm yellow Painted Lady stood out simply because of the Christmas tree in the window and the lights glowing from all windows. It looked like the Lorne family had turned on every light just to be welcoming. Others had Christmas trees in their windows, but most of the lights were from downstairs.
Evan parked on the street and helped Carson gather up the gifts. Then, he led the way into a house filled with childish shrieks, laughter, and the smell of a wonderful meal. Evan immediately called for his family, and two young boys, about six and eight, rushed forward to help put "Dr. Carson's" presents under the tree. They both eyed the gifts as if wondering just what a stranger could have brought them.
An older woman with graying hair tucked up into a bun moved forward, a festive apron covering her cloths. She held out a hand as Carson set his bag to one side. "Merry Christmas!"
"Och, thank ye, Mrs. Lorne." Carson shook her hand and then blinked when she pulled him into a hug.
Paige Lorne grinned at his dumbfounded expression. "You're here for the holiday, so it's a first name basis. Understand?"
"Aye." Carson found himself relaxing immediately. He reached for his bag. "If ye don't mind, I brought somethin' that was a family tradition in Scotland."
Paige shook her head. "We'd love to have it this year, then."
Carson took out the stack of candles. "In Scotland, it's traditional to put a candle in each window on Christmas Eve and New Year's Eve. On Christmas Eve, they light the way for the Holy Family on their way to Bethlehem. On New Year's Eve, they're supposed to light the way for First Footers."
Evan's eldest nephew edged close to him. "What's a First Footer?"
Carson crouched down to look him in the eye. "A First Footer is a stranger who is invited inta the home after midnight on New Year's Eve. The tradition goes back to when people would offer a place ta stay for travelers." He stood and looked from Paige to Evan and back. "Since I don't know if I'll be able ta get away for New Years, I'd hoped ye'd accept this an' the tradition this year." He pulled the polished piece of wood from his pocket. It had taken hours to find it, but he'd managed quite well. Handing it to Paige Lorne, he smiled. "A Good New Year to one and all and many may you see."
Paige accepted the piece of wood with a smile, her eyes suspiciously bright. "Thank you, Carson. And I pray you'll see just as many good New Years."
The younger boy wandered over to him. "You talk funny."
Paige and Evan laughed along with Carson, but a second woman—just entering from the kitchen—flushed to the roots of her hair. "Gabriel Alexander Lorne!"
The boy straightened quickly, and Carson thought about his conversation with Evan about middle names. "I'm sorry, Mom!"
Carson met the other woman's eyes. "It's alright." He smiled at Gabriel. "I'm from a place where everyone talks like this."
Evan stepped forward then. "Carson, this is my sister, Erica, and her two boys. Travis and Gabriel."
Erica Lorne reached out to shake his hand. "It's good to meet you, Carson."
"Likewise." Carson shook her hand, but he was struck by her blue eyes and reddish hair. Shorter than him by a few inches, she had the look of a woman who could handle just about anything life threw at her.
Evan cleared his throat a moment later, and Carson realized he'd been caught staring. Rather than drawing more attention to himself, he stowed his bag in an upstairs guest room and then gathered with the family for the evening meal. The next few hours passed in laughter and family fun. When both boys pulled out a board game, the adults left them to their play to share coffee around the fireplace. Paige and Erica quizzed Carson about Scotland, and he, in turn, learned that Erica had not inherited her mother's talent for painting. By the time he climbed the stairs to the guest room, he'd managed to find several reasons why he was glad he had come. A certain auburn-haired single mother topped that list.
oOo
Evan saw the sparks fly the moment that Carson and Erica met. His sister had always had a thing for accents, and it had gotten her in trouble before. Even though he knew that Carson wouldn't hurt his sister deliberately, he still felt strangely protective when Carson turned the same charm he used for frightened kids toward his sister. Somehow, it became less about soothing frazzled nerves and something that Evan didn't want to consider. When he'd invited Carson to join them for Christmas, he had never even imagined that the good doctor and his sister would end up interested in one another.
But it had taken only one conversation. Evan had watched through the entire evening while Carson and Erica exchanged curious glances. Erica was less-than-subtle about her interest, and Carson had been unusually sociable.
Just how did he really feel about this? Evan asked himself that question the moment he woke on Christmas Eve. He already heard activity downstairs and knew that his mother was likely making hot cocoa for his nephews. Erica had said that her guest would appear sometime that day, and Carson agreed to build Lego trucks with the two boys. The day promised to be fun and relaxing all at once.
Still, he needed to figure out if he wanted to warn Carson away from his sister or his sister away from Carson. The unintended side effect of their meeting was still boggling his mind. When it came to general honesty, trustworthiness, and patience, Evan couldn't imagine a better match for his sister than Carson Beckett. That the man had the stubbornness of a bulldog and the will to match his Scottish heritage would add a very heated element to Erica's life, and Evan quickly turned his thoughts from that direction. His worries were less about whether the pair would get along and more about Carson's origins and work on Atlantis.
How did being a clone work? Evan had never really given it much thought. Carson was just Carson, no matter how he came to them. And he had accepted the doctor willingly. Yeah, it was a little strange to have him back from the dead, but life on Atlantis had taught him to roll with a lot of punches. After all, Dr. Jackson had died and come back to life multiple times. Why not Carson Beckett?
Not that Erica would ever know that Carson was a clone. Or, if she did, it would be because Carson, himself, couldn't handle living with the secret. Either way, Evan took a moment to reason it out. And failed miserably.
By the time he hurried down the stairs, Travis and Gabriel were happily munching on bacon and biscuits while Erica set a cup of coffee in front of her place. She smiled brightly at him. "Somehow, I'm not surprised you arrive just as we finish cooking."
Evan shrugged and moved to kiss his mother's cheek. "Do you expect anything else?"
Travis looked up from his breakfast. "When is Dr. Carson coming downstairs?" he asked, using the name that Carson used with children on off-world missions.
"Ah. . .I don't know." Evan accepted a plate from his mother and settled across from his nephew. "He works pretty hard back on base and hasn't had a vacation in a long time."
Just then, Gabriel squealed loudly as Carson spoke behind him. "Who hasn't had a vacation in a while?" The combination of the squeal and Carson's question made Evan jump slightly.
Travis laughed, just as loudly as his brother. "You made Uncle Evan jump!"
Evan grinned at his nephew and then turned to the doc. "They were asking about you."
Carson accepted his own breakfast from Paige with a smile before he settled near the boys. For the next little bit, Evan listened as Carson charmed the two with plans to build space ships out of their Legos and promises to take them to the park if the rain cleared. Evan watched his sister's face, seeing the worry she kept hidden for the boys' sakes. He'd have to speak to both Carson and Erica respectively.
After breakfast, Evan stood. "Doc, can I have a word?"
Carson nodded while the two boys carried the plates to the kitchen and helped Erica with the dishwasher. She had done a great job with them, and Evan led Carson to the living room. Then he turned. "Listen, I don't want to cause a problem. But I know my sister's going to be worried."
"About what?"
"Remember when I said my eldest nephew had some medical disabilities?"
"Aye."
"Well, there's more to it than that." Evan rocked back on his heels. "He was born prematurely, and his abdominal area had not closed around all of his organs. His spine was exposed, and he's gone through quite a few surgeries just to be able to walk."
Carson blinked at him and then looked toward the kitchen, clearly trying to realign the reality of Travis's medical history with the vibrant boy who now ran back to the table to take his grandmother's coffee cup. "That boy?"
"Yep, that boy." Evan smiled at the shock. "Doctors didn't even think he'd make it past a year, and he's now eight. He's got a colostomy bag, and there's a lot of visits to the doctor to make sure he's doing well. But, as of last month, he's expected to lead a full, long life."
Carson shook his head, still stunned. "I understand, Evan," he said, meeting Evan's eyes as he spoke. "An' you an' your sister are welcome to join us if we go to the park. I doubt there's anythin' there that could cause a problem I can't handle."
"I know, Doc," Evan said softly. "But my sister likes to worry." Then, he frowned. "Speaking of, how are you going to explain your. . .?" He mimed giving himself an injection.
Carson shrugged. "Insulin."
"Okay." Feeling the matter was settled, Evan turned to face the onslaught as both nephews charged the men standing beside the Christmas tree.
Hours later, after the boys had decided not to go to the park in the rain, Evan found himself on the couch next to his sister while they waited for her guest to show up. She'd been unusually cagey about this guest's identity, and Evan wanted to be on hand. Had she met another man somewhere that she felt she could bring home to meet her mother and brother? Or was it something else? The possibilities made him worry just a touch.
Erica stirred from her thoughts. "Carson seems like a great guy."
Evan blinked at her, grinning ever so slightly. "He is. Best doctor I've ever known."
"Really?"
"Yep." Evan sobered and leaned forward. "Erica, there are things we've gone through on base that neither Carson nor I will ever speak of. Trust me when I say that he's one of the best men I've ever had the privilege of knowing."
A knock on the door sounded as Erica thought that through, and Evan left her there to mull his words over. She clearly got the message he was sending, not needing him to spell out that he was okay with her interest in Carson Beckett. Instead, he tried to put it from his mind as he opened the door. And stared.
"Liv?"
The dark-haired woman on the porch turned to face him, her pretty features and brown eyes wide. "Evan. Erica said you'd be home at Christmas."
"She didn't say you were coming." Realizing how that sounded, he stepped back and let her into the house. "Sorry. I was just surprised."
She offered him a tense smile. "That's better than what I expected."
Evan closed the door and turned to face her. "What you expected is because I was stupid." Then, he made it a point to soften his expression. "You look good."
"Looks can be deceiving." She shrugged out of her black wool coat, handing it to him when he opened the coat closet and took out a hangar. "Not because you're here. It's just. . . .It's been a tough year."
Evan took a moment to truly study her. She looked. . .tired. Not physically, though that played into things. But she seemed emotionally drained. Reaching out, he took her hand and met her eyes. "I understand."
She stared at their hands for a moment, and then nodded. "Somehow, I believe you do." Then, she grinned. "Now, where's that sister of yours so I can throttle her for not giving you any warning?"
Evan pointed toward the kitchen, where Erica and Carson were chatting with Paige. He hadn't seen Olivia Summers since he left for basic training. That had been a lot of years ago. And now he'd been given more to think about besides what had already been on his mind.
He had never had much neutral ground when it came to Olivia. Just how would Christmas play out with her in the mix?
oOo
"Evan and Olivia dated in high school." Erica's whispered explanation made Carson nod. "Everyone—even Evan—thought they'd get married when she graduated a year after he did. But he went into the military, and she wrote him a long letter while he was in basic, telling him why she didn't want to have anything to do with men in the military."
"An' you invited her because?"
"She's my friend." Erica lifted her chin as Paige joined them. "And Christmas is hard for her. Her dad passed earlier this year after she spent months helping him through his last days. She needed a place to go."
Carson stared at her, seeing the same warmth in Erica that her older brother possessed. Neither of the Lorne children were overly enthusiastic, but they both had a way of making a person feel comfortable and welcome. Even now, Evan had taken Olivia's coat and then walked her into the dining room, introducing her to Carson with all the graciousness of his mother.
Olivia Summers stood a bit taller than Evan due to her shoes, her dark hair styled around her face. She had a slight aristocratic bearing that came from being raised with money, and all of her clothing was well-made. She seemed an odd fit for Evan Lorne, though Carson could understand mismatched relationships. After all, he had watched Jennifer Keller and Rodney McKay fall for each other.
The rest of the afternoon passed quietly. The rain let up slightly around sunset, and Evan and Paige took advantage of it by snapping pictures from the back of the house. Carson suspected it was something that artists would understand and sat with Erica while she and Olivia played a board game with the boys. Once the sun had set, however, Paige Lorne headed back inside. She disappeared upstairs and then returned with the candles he'd given her. Making a beeline to Carson, she offered them. "Would you do the honors before we eat?"
Carson smiled at her and stood. "I'd love to." Then, taking the candles, he carefully placed them in their holders while Paige escorted him through the entire house. He'd not brought enough, but she supplemented with a few from the house until one burned brightly—and safely—in every window.
Supper that evening was a rousing affair. Evan and Olivia seemed to have gotten over their awkwardness, and the group rivaled Travis and Gabriel for volume. Not that Carson would have had it any other way. He loved the laughter, jokes, and dry comments that passed across the table faster than most could keep up. Erica gave as good as she got, once causing her brother to snort wine up his nose with one comment aimed at Paige. Carson had watched curiously while Olivia handed napkins over and Erica howled in laughter.
After cleaning up from the meal, Paige escorted two anxious boys upstairs for "story time" while Erica made coffee in the kitchen. Olivia wandered over to the tree, and Carson watched as Evan stared at her. "Go talk to her, Major. She needs it."
Evan gave him a perceptive glance. "Experience talking, Doc?"
"Aye." Carson studied the back of the tall woman, seeing more in the set of her shoulders than in anything she had said all evening. "The first Christmas is always hardest, an' havin' someone to listen makes it easier."
Evan nodded and slipped into the living room, leaving Carson at the table. A moment later, a cup of coffee, complete with saucer and a piece of biscotti, appeared next to his left hand. Erica settled across from him with her own cup. "Thanks for nudging him in that direction." She smiled at the pair near the Christmas tree. "Olivia's had a rough year, and she never really got over him."
Carson nodded. "I understand rough years. Had a couple myself." He turned to face her, putting Evan and his high school sweetheart out of his line of sight. "My mother passed earlier this year, it's true. But I think this Christmas is easier than last year's. Last year, I was so sick I couldnae get home." Last year, I was in a stasis pod, he thought ironically.
Erica reached across the table and took his hand. "I'm glad you came here, Carson. Not just for the boys' sakes, either."
He smiled at her, turning his hand to catch her's. "Aye, I'm glad I came, too."
oOo
Evan hesitated a few steps behind Olivia and then sighed. Moving to her side, he glanced over and realized she had started crying. That melted any reservations he had away, and he reached for her wrist. "Hey, come here."
Surprisingly, she let him pull her into his arms and simply hold her while she cried. For a long moment, Evan just stood there, trying to realign this broken woman with the one he'd loved so long ago. Olivia Summers had been the prettiest girl in school, and she'd chosen a nerdy, art-loving kid as the one to take her to Homecoming and Prom. Somewhere along the way, Evan stopped wondering how he'd been so lucky and came to realize that she just wanted someone to care for her because of who she was. That led to a high school relationship that everyone thought would end in white picket fences. Instead, it ended with her writing him a "Dear John" letter.
For a lot of years, he'd carried that bitterness around. It took Kate Heightmeyer to help him get past it. Even then, he'd been forced to lose Kate before he finally forgave Olivia. He couldn't say that he loved Olivia now, but he still cared.
She pulled herself together as he heard Carson laugh softly from the other room. Paige had tactfully stayed upstairs, though Evan knew she was aware of everything that went on underneath her roof. Including the very uncomfortable emotions that Olivia's presence would stir in her son. Evan alternately wanted to throttle his sister and hug her for forcing him to deal with these emotions.
Olivia, however, seemed thoroughly embarrassed. "Sorry. I don't normally. . . ."
She trailed off when Evan met her eyes. "No apologizing," he said softly.
"There is one apology I need to make." She straightened, looking at him with sincere regret on her face. "I'm sorry for how I ended things all those years ago."
Evan stared at her. "Apology accepted." He smiled slightly. "To be honest, I forgave you a while back."
"What happened? Meet someone?"
"Ah. . .yeah." Evan motioned Olivia toward the couch, and she settled at one end. He dropped into the other, bracing his elbows on his knees. "Her name was Kate."
"Was Kate?"
"Yeah." Evan nodded. "She died almost three years ago."
Olivia's gaze turned to the Christmas tree. "Seems like we're quite the pair. You here without your Kate, and me here without my dad."
Evan leaned forward, breaking her out of her thoughts. "What matters is that we're here. Things may not be the way they were years ago, but we can still make it a good Christmas."
Olivia turned toward him, the tough, independent woman fading into something that reminded Evan of their high school years. "Easier said than done." She drew in a deep breath and let it out. "But you're right."
They sat in silence for a long time, each one working to put their losses aside for one day. After all, Christmas, while painful when thinking about those they'd lost, should be about what they still had. And, after all his time in Atlantis, Evan needed to focus on the people still in his life.
oOo
Christmas Day was everything Evan wanted. Based on the expression on the doc's face, even Carson felt the contentment. Each of the adults received a very nice gift from Paige Lorne, as well as a small painting from Evan himself. Evan grinned at the expensive set of paint brushes that his sister and mom had bought for him and wished he had a canvas in the house. But Paige Lorne wasn't known for leaving empty canvases lying about. She typically had three or more paintings in progress at once.
Carson was thrilled with the stethoscope that all the Lornes had bought for him, his laugh and smile brightening the room. Evan noticed that, when Carson looked at Erica and gave her a genuine "Thank you," his sister flushed slightly and looked away. And Evan blinked. A quick glance at Olivia told him that Erica's reaction wasn't unnoticed.
Late that night, after Christmas dinner had been cleaned up and excited boys put to bed—enticed there by a story from their newly-adopted Uncle Carson—Evan found his sister on the couch in the living room. Erica had received a set of antique hand-carved knitting needles for Christmas and had found some random yarn somewhere. But the needles were still, and she stared at the Christmas tree with a pensive expression on her face.
Evan offered her a cup of tea. "Sad it's over?"
Erica glanced at him, surprised by his appearance before taking the tea. "No. And yes." She sighed. "It's always like this. I scrimp and save every year so the boys can have a great Christmas, and then it's just over."
Evan settled on the other end of the couch, his own cup of tea in hand. Back on Atlantis, he drank coffee at any hour of the day. Here, he liked to slow down a bit. "I know how you feel. It's hard to let go of the anticipation, even if you did get the reaction you wanted."
Erica nodded, and the two were silent for a while. Then, she stirred. "I'm glad Carson liked his gift." She eyed her brother. "Mom and I weren't sure what to get for him and settled on something any doctor can use."
Evan grinned at her. "Trust me when I say Carson would have been thrilled with a gift card." He sobered. "Life hasn't exactly been kind to him."
Erica frowned. "He mentioned something about being held captive."
Evan nodded. It was the cover story that Carson had agreed to, given the scars he still bore in his body as well as in his mind. "He was captured several years ago by insurgents and forced to work for them. By the time he came back to us, he was deathly ill and required nearly six months of rehab. Since then, he's been working in war-torn villages, trying to help undo the damage done by those who captured him."
"And his mom passed in that time?"
"Shortly after that, actually." Evan sighed. "He'd been reported KIA by our team. Imagine how it felt when we found him."
"You brought him home?"
Evan simply nodded again. He had no way of telling the rest of the awful truth to his sister. She might never know that Carson Beckett really had died, had been taken back to Scotland and buried, and had been cloned without his knowledge six months prior. That the Carson Beckett she knew was said clone and had been unable to return to Scotland. Having home and identity stripped from him had forged who this Carson was, and Evan called this Carson a friend every bit as much as he had the other.
Erica shifted on the couch, her movements bringing Evan out of his thoughts. He watched as she flushed again and looked a bit embarrassed. "He asked me to dinner with him. Said I could bring the boys if I wanted."
Evan raised an eyebrow. "Did he?" When his sister nodded, he grinned. "As a date, or as a friend?"
Erica thought about it for a moment. "A date, I think." She smiled softly. "He didn't say so, but he was really careful to keep Mom from hearing."
Evan's grin widened. As a brother, he wanted to pretend to be the protector, but he knew better. Carson wouldn't deliberately hurt his sister, and he could think of no one better to help Erica with Travis's health challenges. Besides, Carson needed some happiness in his life, as well. That, more than anything, answered all his questions about how he felt concerning Carson's interest in his sister. "I think you should take him up on the offer. And I'm stationed nearby right now. I'll drive over and watch the boys."
Erica gaped. "Okay. That wasn't the Evan Lorne I expected to show up."
Evan shrugged. "I could be overprotective, but you'd hit me. Besides, I trust Carson not to hurt you, so I don't have to be overprotective."
Erica frowned. "You really think I should?" When he blinked, she sighed. "I mean, every other guy I've dated has been a first-class jerk, if not worse, and I know you don't normally approve of my taste in men."
Evan faced his sister. "Erica, I trust Carson. With my life, actually. We've worked closely over the last year, and I have yet to see him do something to deliberately hurt another human being. If anything, he'll put his own life on the line for those around him—and that's just people he calls friends. If this thing between the two of you goes anywhere beyond a dinner date or two, I have no doubt he'll be the best thing that happened to you and your boys."
Erica fell silent, leaving Evan to his thoughts. Did I really just have this conversation with my sister? He wasn't quite certain whether he was dreaming. Erica had never asked him for his opinion on her love life before, and, quite frankly, he didn't want to think about it. But knowing that she had turned her eye toward Carson, a man as stable as he could be while working for the SGC, meant she had grown up a little.
"You're not mad at me for inviting Olivia, are you?" Erica's left-field question confused Evan for a moment.
He stared at her, trying to figure out how his sister's potential relationship with Carson and the subject of Olivia were connected. "Should I be?"
"Because you two. . .You know."
"You mean because she sent me a 'Dear John' letter?" Evan took a moment to think this one through. "I was, at first. It's been a lot of years, though, and there was a woman on base that I thought might be The One. She helped me get over what Olivia did."
"What happened to her? The woman?"
Evan turned back to the Christmas tree. "She was killed when our base was attacked." It was the only way to describe just how Kate Heightmeyer had died. After all, that energy creature that fed on their fears did attack the base, just not in the sense that Erika would take the statement. For a moment, Evan hated the lies and innuendo, how his mother and sister misinterpreted the cover stories. They might never know exactly what he did for a living, and it had never sat well. But he had signed up for these sorts of assignments early in his career, and it was the price he paid.
"Oh, Evan!" Erica's whisper was heartfelt and sad.
He glanced over at her. "This sounds harsh, but I'm glad Olivia left me that letter." He shook his head. "Men like me—in my line of work—don't get home often. Having someone waiting. . . ."
Erica stared at him for a long moment before she scooted across the couch to hug him. The siblings sat there, silently staring at the sparkling Christmas tree, neither one aware that Olivia had heard every word and cried silently as she crept back to her room.
oOo
Two days later, Evan and Carson flew back to Atlantis with a group of happy soldiers and scientists. Both men were silent, choosing to reflect on their visit to San Francisco. Carson was happy for the time to think. Asking Erica to dinner had not been his intention, but the invitation slipped out before he could stop it. And he didn't want to stop it. Erica Lorne was a beautiful woman with two delightful boys, and Carson wanted to know her better. Just before he left, she slipped him her cell number and told him to call her with plans. Somehow, Carson had gone from depressed and irritated over Christmas to happy and with a bright future.
Once back on Atlantis, life settled into a routine again. Jennifer returned from vacation with McKay, wearing a beautiful engagement ring and even bigger grin. McKay cornered Carson that evening, asking him to be best man in their wedding. Sheppard and Amanda Cole had no such understanding between them when they returned, but Carson saw the growing intimacy between them. Teyla brought a myriad of toys back from the Sheppard Christmas, something the colonel's family had done for Torren. And Ronon had developed a love for winter sports, namely snowboarding. Even Mr. Woolsey seemed more at ease as the new year rolled around.
Finally, once the holidays had ended, Carson found Evan in his office. "Major?"
Evan waved him inside. "What can I do for you, Doc?"
"I was hopin' we could speak privately," Carson said. He waited while Evan looked up. "About your sister?"
The major put down his pen. "Doc, I appreciate what you're trying to do. I really do. But, when it comes to my sister's life, I don't have a whole lot of say."
"I realize that, Major, but I would hate. . . ." Carson's voice trailed off when Evan held up a hand.
"Let me put it another way." Evan leaned forward. "Every other man my sister has dated has left her hurt and broken. I can't think of a better man to help her put everything back together."
Carson blinked at the acceptance and then let out a breath. "You're sure?"
"Just don't hurt her, Doc," Evan said with a smirk on his face. "Or I might sic my Mom on you. She's worse than I ever thought about being."
Carson nodded and left the office, a grin on his face. A few moments later, he pulled out his cell phone and dialed a number he'd been itching to call. Hearing Erica Lorne's voice on the other end made him smile, and he let out a deep breath.
He had been missing his chance for a family Christmas just a few weeks ago. Now, he hoped this last one was the first of many as he did his best to create a new family out of those he'd chosen.
~The End~