The Aftermath

"How did we get here? Why did we lose it? It's because of them! The bastards who got us in trouble! I curse them both! If they hadn't gotten into our freakin' business, we wouldn't be stuck here in the unbreakable Spoonerville Prison! My names is Spud. My partner is Wally. We're two of the most wanted criminals around here. At first, we were doing a pretty good job hidin' from the cops, but then a couple of bums came into our lives. They ruined everything! It all started when this big guy, whose name was Mr. Pete (I learned that when Wally and I saw the news of our arresting. Ain't he the owner of that stupid carlot 'Pete's Cars'? I think so!), bumped into us while we were at this gas station's mini-mart. Then, he hid in our car. When Wally and I got to our hideout, we took advantage of the heat of the moment and tied him up. We eventually learned that we could ransom him for moola. When we tried, this really skinny guy named Goofy (his name was also mentioned on the news) tried to help Pete out, but we didn't let 'em!

We tried our damnest to keep things together. But then food was involved, we ate too much, fell asleep, and didn't realize what the hell was a-going on until Wally and I woke up and found they were escapin'! But we knew where they lived, so we followed 'em back home. When we got there, I pursued the guy named Pete and Wally pursued Goofy. We chased our hostages all over the house. Wally tried to get Goofy on the roof, and I pursued Pete in the basement and front yard! We almost got 'em! But something must've happened to make Wally trip or somethin' like that! When Wally tripped or somethin', the police and a pretty woman with brown hair, white pants, and a pink sweater showed up! Busted! The woman hugged Pete. She must've been his wife! Then, we were arrested! And now look where it's put us!

Here we are on November 26th, 2007...exactly 15 years after our arrest! Yeah, we've been stuck here for 15 long, frickin' years! Just another 5 to go! We'll finally be outta here on November 26th, 2012. Then, if we suvive long enough, Wally and I are going back! We're gonna finish what we started! We're going back to that very neighborhood, find those bastards what led us here! When we do, they'll wish they had never messed with us! I don't know if we're gonna kill 'em, but if we do get out, I garauntee this: If we don't kill 'em, they're gonna wish they were dead! Wally and I are already makin' arrangements! We ain't escapin' now because Spoonerville Prison is totally and completely impossible to get out of! We've tried thousands of times! I've had enough! I wish we could get out. Security's filled with nothin' but assholes, the conditions here suck like hell, and the food here sucks so bad, sometimes I wish I could taste that food Wally and I tasted those 15 years ago.

Sometimes, when I look back at memories, sometimes I wish I could remember where Wally and I went wrong. We never finished school, my mum and Wally's dad hated us. My dad left my mum early in life. Wally's mum was flat broke, which could be one of the reasons why we didn't finish school in our early years. That, and because Wally and I started smokin' pot, almost lost our lives doin' that so we gave that up a long time ago (hard to give up, let me say), we were didn't have enough money, so as kids, we'd shoplift candy and beef jerky from the dollar store, which eventually led to swiping gift cards, nice lookin' jewelry we could smuggle for supplies, and so much more. One time, we even started kidnapping innocent young teens and gettin' lucky with 'em and stealin' their money, then leavin' 'em for dead, but I ain't gonna go into that. I don't want to die letting people think that we were not only hoodlums, but racy hoodlums at that. All of this eventually led to the day we met those stupid people that got us arrested by the men with the badges. The cops that arrested are also the fuzz that does the security around here in this dark prison.

Sometimes I wonder if we'll ever see those bastards again! I'm not doubtin' or anythin', but I sometimes wonder 'Have they moved during these past 15 years?' 'What's been goin' on, since the day we were sealed into this hell?' All I truly know for sure is that they were called heroes after they got us busted by the fuzz. I remember seein' their smug faces on the TV at the corner of the wall outside our cell. When I saw them their bein' happy, my teeth clenched, I gripped the bars tightly, and growled, thinking at the back of my mind about the day we'd return and teach 'em a lesson. I'll also never foret when they showed them our mug shots on real TV. I then felt really embarrased that everyone was looking our faces in shame. All of this shame, hatred, doubt, blame, anger, and fright I blame on Pete and Goofy! They never should barged into our lives! It's their fault. Not ours!...I like to think that, knowing that Wally and I both should share some blame. If we hadn't decide to shoplift from that gas station minimart, we never would've met those dumbasses. I hate them! Always have, always will! I can't wait until November 26th, 2012. By then, our 20 years will be over with. When that day comes, Wally and I will be ready for them! They haven't seen the last of Spud and Wally!"

-Spud, November 26th, 2007, 8:50 PM

END