Magna: I decided to challenge myself to write a story with a mock wedding.

Mystery Voice: It would have been better if the was a group mock wedding at the museum. Great excuse for a party, a little booze…

Magna: Is that why I keep finding my fan fiction clones drunk?

Mystery Voice: Maybe.

Universe: Doppelgänger universe

)*()*( NATM )*()*(

When We Met: In-Flight Wedding

September, 2007 – An airplane somewhere over the Atlantic Ocean headed to New York

Why did he let those air-headed, chatter boxes talk him into this?

Octavius eyed the mirror as two teenage girls gave him a makeover. A red head attached a bowtie made from a newspaper to his white dress shirt with safety pins. One was doing his hair; she had dug out to his surprise little bottles smaller than a finger to add glitter and small colorful stripes to his short, dark hair. When she added speck of green he nearly objected and ran from the bathroom.

"This flight was going to be so boring until Flossy thought of a mock wedding between passengers!"

A girl giggled on his left, it had to be the dark haired girl, Camilla, "Thank you, Octavius for being the groom and letting us give you a makeover and everything!" Embracing him passionately, giggling in her bubbly effervescent way.

"I wasn't going to except…" Except he was bored to the point of wanting to cry? Anyway it was just a game so he had nothing to lose. Right? "It would be fun to see who you found to be the bride." Maybe she was pretty, he was available after all.

"I think he's ready!" Octavius thought he was ready to have his head examined, he looked absurd. Why did they have to use a sparkly, cherry scented, lip-gloss?

He was led out to the front of the cabin where a steward was playing priest, he even had a real bible he must have borrowed or had tucked away somewhere.

The sound of cheering and clapping caused him to turn to see a rather amusing spectacle. The "bride" was wearing a veil made up of strips of newspaper, looking more like a witch doctor or an alien creature than a blushing bride. Paper obscured the persons' hair and face, hanging so low it went past their shoulders. That explained why the person had to be guided down the aisle by one of the girls. Looking to the arms of whoever it was didn't help because they were wearing a white, long-sleeved t-shirt with a light brown pattern that could suite a woman or a man. Looking down to the blue jeans gave him an answer; the masculine bulge meant it was a man.

Objections rose until the veil fell off in mid-step showing blue eyes and blonde hair. The big goofy, yet shy grin met his gaze.

"Don't get upset there, Kemosabe. It's all in good fun and it ain't for real. Names Jedediah, well that's what I prefer to what my parents called me." Holding his hand out in greeting.

"What did your parents call you?" Taking the callused hand, enjoying the rough fingers brushing against his more pampered digits.

"Jedburgh, it's a place in Scotland. My ma wanted to go there for years for some reason. Never said why her whole life."

"Similarly my parents had got caught up in their own desires. I was named Augustus after the emperor, I personally prefer Octavius, sounds less pompous."

"And just as sophisticated…"

"Come on! Enough with the introductions! Let's move on with the wedding!"

They had forgotten they had an audience, now they were laughing at the phony couple as they blushed in embarrassment. He could swear he heard a cat call from the back.

The steward cleared his throat, the girl that led Jed to the front shouted happily as she ran back to sit down for everyone to be quiet.

"We are here to unite these two gentlemen in phony-baloney matrimony. A phony marriage is easily done and is great way to get hitched for a day to a total stranger; luckily you two are stud muffins so I don't think you got off bad."

"No, sir!" Jed piped up.

"Indeed." The groom agreed.

Continuing as the laughter subsided the steward turned to face Octavius. "Do you take this man to be your man-bride?"

"Hey, I ain't a bride."

"Then why the veil?" Asked the steward, giving Jed a mock glare.

"They said it was a surprise…"

"I think my friend you got the surprise."

Rolling his eyes the steward queried, "So do you take him or leave him?"

"If he's willing then I do." Octavius was going to be good sport and play along because he was having too much fun to stop.

"I will if I'm not a man-bride."

"Fine, you're both grooms. Does the groom take the groom to be his fake hubby?"

"I sure as shootin' do!"

"Since there are no rings we found some complimentary desserts you can exchange. You have a choice of strawberry cheesecake or apple."

"Airline food is appalling, but I will choose the cheesecake."

"So will I."

A person shouted lewdly, "Now we all know they both like a bit of cheesecake!" The suggestive shout earned heard laughter from the other passengers.

Blushing, they were both handed rectangular plastic food containers and plastic forks. Both exchanged the containers, shrugging at the pointlessness of the act to each other they looked to the steward.

"You may now kiss the groom if he'll let you."

Placing the food and forks to the side the phony grooms stood and faced each other for a moment.

"Wanna kiss, Octy?"

"Octy? Hmm… I think I wouldn't mind."

For a second the two shyly considered the act. People cheered them on, a few made more cat calls or whistled. Octavius was about to back out when Jed broke the ice, taking his face in his hands, tilting his head and gave him a quick kiss. Soft, a tad passionate, gentle and with lips parted. The warmth was inviting, the scent of cherry lip gloss mixed with orange lip gloss invaded his senses, as brief as it was it Octavius gained enough courage to briefly return the kiss before backing away.

A voice rudely interrupted the bliss.

"The groom and the groom may now get a room."

"There's an empty seat next to me, Octy." Taking his hand pulled Octavius fours seats back past where his own assigned seat was at, desserts and forks in his free hand. Once seated they started to munch on the over sweetened cheesecake, making faces at how much sugar was jammed into such small portions to the point of being almost inedible.

"Appalling muck! I think I might just be sick before we land." He unconsciously leaned into Jedediah, who began to rub his back sympathetically. "Another good reason I should open a restaurant, to save the paying customers stomachs from this garbage."

"I couldn't agree more, could barely stand the stuff. No one should pay to suffer death by sugar before reaching their destination. So what kinda restaurant do ya wanna open?"

Humming as his back was rubbed gently he felt less nauseated, "Authentic Italian food and some American favorites, few plates maybe a mix of both, just to make it interesting for the customers."

"Sounds rather nice and homey, like somethin' your mom would serve."

"If I remember right she did on occasion." Octavius was no longer felt ill and was now just tired. Leaning into Jed's shoulder, into the other mans' warmth as his hand continued to move in a circle across his back.

"I wouldn't mind joinin' in on somethin' like that. Just happen to live in New York myself, lookin' for anythin' that sound like it might be a good investment. That is if ya really want to…?"

"I do."

Before the flight was over they had exchanged numbers. By the next day Octavius found himself calling Jed, trying to think of him as his possible business partner and not his 'phony man-bride' who he hoped to kiss again.

The End

)*()*( NATM )*()*(

Mystery Voice: I bet those girls were taking pictures and video the whole time.

Magna: Now days, yes they would. That was where I got the idea; there was a video of a mock wedding on an airplane. Can't seem to be able to find it though.

*a miniature stumbles over and passes out*

Mystery Voice: They got into the beer again.