Disclaimer: I do not own Skyrim, but Dezda is mine.
That the fire was everywhere, that was as sure as the nose on his face. Though in light of recent developments, could he be sure of the nose on his face?
I am Dezda, a blade of Mephala, her knife in secrecy to keep the world in balance. Yet this is not enough…
Everything was still broken, torn after the Crisis. Hadn't he been a part of that? In some manner at least.
I am a thief, the beloved of Nocturnal, when my old home broke apart. Here I am in the quiet, secretive dark again. Yet this is not enough…
So many souls wandering past him, slipping through the breaks in Oblivion. They weren't devoted enough to their masters, to go free from their realms for this moment. But those who worship madness are always loyal.
I slay for Sithis now, not the Spinner, yet this is not enough.
By his new divinity she is a beautiful soul! And she thinks so of him. And in that moment, he knows she will be his fhionnuisce, whatever that is. He has not yet had time to sort through which memories were left behind and which belong to him. He has not yet catalogued the new magic. But this word leaps to his lips and she smiles.
For She-Who-Erases, I murder and deceive. Yet Boethiah is not enough…
Her hand in his she shifts between a myriad of forms as he hides her from the one who claims her soul. He hides her with change from the lord of change. He thinks himself clever.
I am called to destruction, that I know. Serving Mehrunes Dagon feels natural like a fish returning to the stream. But still…
Away from him she falls as he throws her back to Tamriel. She will be born again, of that he is certain. But he does not know when, or where. But he will watch, and wait, and call her soul back to him. She was made to serve chaos, and joy in it. She is no simple destroyer. Sheogorath will wait for her, as a chessmaster, for all genius holds a little madness.
Nothing I do is enough. Nothing fills this calling, tugging at my soul for long. I fear that if I do not find what I am missing soon, I will fall into madness…