Title: Ghosts
Summary: They've lost so much. They all need time to heal.
Notes: I wanted to write something to cheer myself up after episode 4. I don't ship Caryl but I need a nice topic and I thought this could work. It's very mild Daryl/Carol.
Warning for language and spoilers for 'Killer Within'.
It was all fucked up.
Everything. There's was nothing not fucked up right now.
Lori, T Dog and Carol were all dead, Rick was destroyed, everyone else was in mourning. There were fuck loads of corpses to clear up again and a Motherless newborn baby to look after.
And somehow he had to make things right again. People were looking to him because who else could they look too? And so he'd done something. He left the others to do what they had to and he'd gone out to get formula for the baby, Maggie going with him.
And he hated to leave them because it felt like there were so few of them to protect themselves now, but they had to because that baby had to survive. They'd all pull together, Rick would get his shit together, he just needed to grieve first and then... he sighed. He had no fucking idea what would happen then. Someone else would die and they'd go through all this shit again.
He sorta hoped everyone might have got their crying over and done with by the time they got back and he gave Maggie the formula and let her sort it out. He'd go and check on them in a bit but he had to take a piss first.
And then as he headed back to the others, he heard their gently, hushed words as they talked to and about the baby. When he got there he was slightly disappointed that Rick wasn't with them. Carl held his baby sister, Beth and Hershel sitting either side of him, Carol, Maggie and Glenn stood over her, looking down smiling and... Carol? What the fuck?
He started at her hard for a moment, almost worried that if he spoke out loud, she'd simply disappear and everyone would think he was crazy. "She's perfect," Carol spoke, gently stroking the hair on the babies head. And then as though she felt him watching, she looked up to him. She smiled, grateful he was safe, that their losses hadn't been worse, but her eyes shone brightly with tears.
"Fuck," he muttered, turning on his heels and heading out.
He didn't get far before Maggie was stopping him. "Where are you going?" And he saw the fragile nature of the group right now. They were fucking terrified to lose anyone else.
Keeping his voice low, stepping closer. "There's three graves out there. Ain't tempting fate." And he went to walk away, but she gently brushed her hand against his arm. Didn't outright grab him to stop him even though she might have wanted too.
"Axel and Oscar, they 're on it," she said.
And he wasn't thrilled with the idea, but he let it be because for now, they were safe in here. So he drifted back to the cell where the others sat, looking at the baby and he felt bad for those jokes he made about 'baby Shane' and how Carol chided him playfully when he said it.
"She need anything else?" Daryl asked.
"This is the most important thing," Hershel said as they fed her. "But I'm sure there's a lost of things we can get for her sooner of later."
Daryl nodded slowly. The sound of the main door opening and clanging shut as Rick came in. He looked as blank and vacant as the last time Daryl had seen him and he let out a quick whistle and indicated for some of the group to clear out. Carl and Hershel remained as the others left the cell and headed to their own, Daryl hung back, just to make sure Rick was okay to be with the baby. Carl was already sorting out a way for the baby to sleep on his bad with him and something about it seemed to tether Rick to the here and now.
Daryl had noticed how Rick's eyes flickered across Carol as though he wasn't really seeing her, and he considered that Rick might think he were seeing things too.
Hershel looked towards Daryl, nodding that he was okay and he should leave too, so he did. Heading to the perch and flopping down on the bed.
He didn't think he could sleep. There was too much running through his mind and before he knew it, she was stood there.
His lips twitched into a smirked despite the loss they'd all suffered. "Thought you were dead," he said.
"When T Dog went down to save me, I just kept going. I got so lost and... I didn't want to come back because I knew I'd have to go past T Dog... see him as a walker or..." she couldn't finish the sentence. "He was so brave, Daryl."
He just nodded. "Lori..." He watched her eyes fill with fresh tears.
"I... I wasn't there for her," she sobbed, holding back as best she could.
He wanted to say something, but he couldn't. Didn't have the words for it.
She sniffed, wiped at her eyes, couldn't meet his eye.. "I didn't get how you could hate being in those cells so much until now," and the breath she let out was shaky. "There are ghosts in that room," she whispered.
He reached out his hand to her and his fingers just barely brushed again hers, he just wanted her to see him. "I'm glad you're okay," he said.
It was all he had.