A/N: This story is going to contain some serious suicide mentions and a lot of self-loathing. So read with caution. It does become lighter though!

This was inspired by a prompt from AmazonianTheifEss. Thank you for your message!

So here we go…

"Congratulations. You just reunited mother and son. Maybe one day they'll even invite you to dinner."

Regina walked down Main Street despondently, her head hung and her arms crossed over her chest. The damn imp was right. She was nothing. She was a scapegoat that no one would miss if she were gone. They would simply move down the line and blame someone else for all their woes.

"You just reunited mother and son."

Henry hated her. Ever since he found out he was adopted, he pulled away as if blood was all that mattered, as if she was a leper. Then that damn book came into the picture and he finally had a reason to hate her, something to add to his long list of things wrong with her. It honestly shouldn't hurt this much being that she was physically and emotionally abused as a child and sexually abused as a wife. But no one ever stopped to ask about her. The Blue Fairy never answered her wishes.

And now, Henry considered Emma fucking Swan to be his mother, not the woman that lived and breathed for him. Rumple was right. Regina wasn't his mother. Sons loved their mothers through their flaws and cherished the love. No, Henry took her for granted and tossed her aside. The worst part was that, like the pathetic witch she was, she would kneel at his feet and beg for affection if he stood in front of her.

"Maybe one day they'll even invite you to dinner."

He would never love her. No one would. So why was she still trying? Regina couldn't come up with a plausible answer because it would probably be better for everyone if she just… ended it now. Hell, the town would throw a parade and host a dance party on her grave. But no, she wouldn't let that happen. Maybe she could leave town and end it out there, where she could be a Jane Doe, someone people pitied.

She quickly shook her head. The Evil Queen was to be feared, not pitied. She was not weak. Except she was. She was weak, desperate for love, and an absolute wreck. It started the night Daniel died and she grew and grew into this wretched, groveling, weak woman. Regina finally reached her front door and used the door to hold her weight up as she felt sobs begin to wrack her body. She had to get inside before someone saw. Though she wasn't sure that would help, as her sobs were heartbreakingly loud and unfiltered. The tears were streaming down her face at an alarming rate and her nose began running. She didn't even blink when she wiped her mouth and nose with her expensive coat sleeve.

She trekked up the stairs, tripping the entire way up. By the fifth step she violently removed her heels and threw them into the wall, creating a sizable dent. Seeing the destruction made her feel better so she ran down the stairs and smashed everything. Glass littered the floor and Regina just walked right over it, barely wincing when they imbedded into her soles and arches. Next, she grabbed her large apple cider dispenser and hurled it across the kitchen, savoring the sound of crunching glass and liquor hitting the tiled floor. She let out a primal scream, feeling her lungs burn deliciously. She huffed as she ran to the study, smacking the power button on the CD player Henry made her buy. She clumsily searched through the music selection, looking for a specific song that really represented her mood. She heard him listen to it once; he said it was his favorite at the moment. Apparently her likes were of no consequence. She growled as she ripped the CD out of its case, throwing the plastic holder away for good measure. With inept fingers, she slammed the CD into the player, chose her track, and set in on replay before blasting it to the highest volume. Oh no, her fucking neighbors wouldn't hear her breakdown.

"Party girls don't get hurt. Can't feel anything, when will I learn. I push it down, push it down."

She sprinted to the kitchen and literally ripped it apart, destroying cabinets and drawers in her search for something inside herself. Her life had always been about rules and etiquette and tidiness and perfection. This house was a disaster, was a breach of societal rules, and Regina reveled in it, chuckling darkly as she imagined what her mothers reaction would be.

"Controlling, conniving bitch," Regina bellowed angrily as if her mother was in the house. The brunette let out a soft sob, her anger replaced with utter sadness, "You ruined my life."

Regina lost her energy suddenly, her knees giving out, and she landed into a heap of glass. She cried out from the pain digging into her back and from a sudden pinch in her chest. It felt like… like her heart was breaking, which was plausible because of magic. She should check that out but she couldn't find the energy to take it out and inspect it. Plus, a broken heart was too ironic for her at that moment.

Well, what a way for The Evil Queen and daughter of the Queen of Hearts to go. Many accused her of lacking the ability to love like her mother; some said she had no heart. But she did and that's why all of this hurt so damn much. She should've listened to Cora. Love is weakness and all it does is chip away at you until your gone. Regina Mills was gone. The Evil Queen was gone. Madame Mayor was gone. All that's left is a shell of a person, a person on the brink of insanity and/or suicide. Did it really matter? So she cried harder because she didn't matter. She could break things, destroy her home, scream and yell, throw a tantrum, and no one would notice or even care.

"But I'm holding on for dear life, won't look down, won't open my eyes. Keep my glass full until morning light, 'cause I'm just holding on for tonight."

She was sprawled on her back, on top of glass and splintered wood, with a hand pressed to her chest in an attempt to stop the burning and crushing sensation in between her ribs. Her eyes stared directly ahead, fascinated by the minute cracks in the ceiling, and listened to the depressing music on repeat. She couldn't tell how long she stayed that way.

She also couldn't tell how Emma fucking Swan entered her home. She locked, didn't she? She caught sight of those blonde curls and turned to peek at Henry's mother, his real mother. She looked shell shocked, staring at the brunette with wide, gorgeous green eyes. Gorgeous? Where the hell did that come from?

Nonetheless, Emma was still, her body tensed. Regina swore she saw a shine in those eyes but she dismissed the thought before it could fully process because Miss Swan did not care about her. She said it clearly not too long before the curse broke.

"I don't care about what happens to you."

That seemed to be a trend. Emma ran to the CD player and powered it off, leaving them in a deafening silence that made Regina feel even worse. The anger was seeping away and the depression was descending on her. She could feel it. She felt it when her mother killed Daniel. She felt it on her wedding night, after the king finished with her. She felt it when Henry had said he hated her the first time, with such conviction, like it was a fact. She felt it now. She was drowning. She snapped her eyes back to the ceiling lazily, her body sluggish.

"Regina?" The blonde whispered as if she was speaking to a caged animal or a psychopath off of her medication, which was a true possibility. Regina let out a dark chuckle. By standards of this realm, she should be locked up in a padded room and force fed pills through a straw. In her peripheral, she saw Emma flinch. Good. Now go away.

"Please, let me be." Regina grumbled, her voice low. Her head was pounding and she felt bile rise in her throat. Maybe that's how she'll go, chocking on vomit.

"Are you—?"

"Okay?" Regina sniffed, "I'd go with no."

Emma didn't respond, didn't move a muscle. She just stared and Regina couldn't find the mental strength to look. She wasn't looking for pity or, god forbid, sympathy. She just wanted to be alone and she wanted to die. Preferable, she wanted to be alone as she died so Emma 'fucking gorgeous eyes' Swan needed to scram. Regina managed to lift her upper body, wincing as she felt the imbedded glass cut deeper. She wiggled her toes, suddenly fascinated by their movement.

Then she felt a soft hand move her hair away from her face, "Come on, let's get you upstairs."

Regina reached up a hand to scratch her throat, feeling dehydrated and nauseous. She shook her head, letting Emma know that she would not be listening to her, and lifted her body slowly, managing to cringe only once. She hobbled up the stairs, sighing when she heard steps behind her. She had to give it to the blonde. She was one persistent bitch. Lost in thought, she tripped on the top step, her toe throbbing from the impact. The blonde, who swooped down to pick her up bridal style, thwarted her descent and Regina didn't fight it. She was mentally and physically tired so she wrapped her arms around Emma's neck and burrowed her face there. She swore she felt Emma shiver but discounted it. It was probably a fearful shiver as being so close to her was probably repulsive.

Emma carried her into her master bathroom and set her down gently onto the toilet lid, "Where's your first aid kit?"

Regina furrowed her brows and peered at the blonde from under her lashes. Emma was staring at her own nails, her fingers roving over the smooth marble. The brunette sighed when she saw Emma's lip quiver. Why was this woman pretending to care about her? They both knew the truth.

"I don't care about what happens to you."

After several moments of silence, Emma let out an exasperated sigh, "I need to take out the glass from your back and legs. Please, where's your first aid kit?"

"Top left cabinet." She stated stoically, hoping that once Emma was done playing nurse she would leave. Let Regina end it all. She watched as the blonde pulled the medium-sized package from the bathroom cabinet and zipped it open carelessly. As Emma flipped open the lid, she motioned for Regina to swivel so that her back faced the blonde.

"Um… Could you take off your shirt and pants?" The blonde mumbled, seemingly embarrassed. Regina cringed as she peeled off her blouse and pants, the removal causing some pieces of glass to shed as well.

"Fuck." Regina whispered in agony and Emma's lips pursed. The brunette sat down delicately on the lid again and gestured for the blonde to begin. Emma picked up a pair of tweezers and began extracting the larger pieces from her back, Regina hissing the entire time.

"What happened?" The blonde questioned softly as the air in the room grew thick.

"I was angry," Regina responded calmly, as if she was talking about the weather. The blonde scoffed internally. Typical Regina, "What are you doing here?"

Emma flinched when she removed a smaller piece and Regina cried out. She screwed her eyes shut, willing her emotions away, "Charming got a noise complaint call and when they discovered which house it was coming from, they sent me because… I guess because I protected you before falling into the portal so they thought… you wouldn't—"

"Incinerate you?" Regina finished with a sneer. The blonde nodded but realized that the brunette couldn't see her.

"Yeah, something like that," Emma paused, trying to collect her thoughts, "We should've invited you."

"Yes, well, it doesn't matter now." Regina whispered, not believing the blonde. They left her in Gold's shop on purpose. They knew and they didn't want her.

"Apparently it really matters to you." Emma responded shyly. Regina shook her head, deciding she was over this conversation. She just wanted Emma to finish so that she could go to bed or, you know, think over things. The blonde continued to work thoroughly, medicating and bandaging as she went. Once she was done with her back, she ordered the brunette to stand so that she could rid the back of her legs of shards. Emma moaned silently as Regina's backside came into view. The brunette did not catch it.

"Henry is just a kid. He doesn't understand that life isn't black and white, good or bad. Soon, he realize that you love him and he'll apologize, you'll see." Emma whispered, hoping that her words would soothe the brunette. Regina perked up a bit, hating herself for putting so much on the opinion of an eleven year old. Hopefully, one day, it won't hurt when he screams at her or dismisses her on the street. Oh fuck. She was talking about the future. This damn blonde was giving her hope and hope was the cruelest thing to give someone that has no direction, no chance. Maybe she should wait a little bit longer to get her affairs in order. Yes, just a few days and then she'll end it. Oh, whom was she kidding? She wasn't going to take her own life. However, she could leave this town unscathed with magic, start a new life. She could leave Henry with Emma. It was what he wanted. He hated her anyway, right? It would be better for everyone involved.

"Miss Swan, I want you to have adopt papers written up. I'd like to give up my parental rights." Emma jumped, her heart dropping. The Regina Mills she knew would never utter those words.

"No," Emma yelled, her voice reverberating off the tiles, "What the hell are you saying? Henry loves you!"

"He'll never care for me the way he cares for you. Who are we trying to fool, Miss Swan? He wants to be with you so I giving him what he wants!" Regina bellowed, her voice watery and her eyes glistening.

"He doesn't want you to give up on him! He's just being stubborn and a bit stupid right now. All kids are stupid, Regina!" Emma was shocked as Regina whirled around, fully bandaged and taped, and puffed out a shaky breath. The emotions were clear on her face, the sadness, the agony, the anger, and the sorrow.

"I'm going to get those papers and I am going to sign them. And when I give them to you, you will sign them as well because you know that that's what's best for him." Regina cried, tears dripping from her chin and landing on Emma's hand, which were resting on the brunette's naked thighs.

"No, what's best for him is having both of his mothers. He's our son, Regina." The blonde spoke with such conviction that Regina almost caved. She almost leaned forward to kiss the blonde, she almost hugged her, and she almost confessed the feelings she had been trying to disguise with hatred and anger. Almost.

"I suppose we'll speak about this tomorrow or some other day." Regina whispered and shrugged non-committedly causing Emma to send her a glare.

"Give me your fucking feet." Emma growled. She worked silently, thank goodness, on the brunette's feet, adding cream and wrapping the whole foot. Regina stood, balancing on the sides of her feet, and hobbled to her bed.

Regina slid under the covers and clutched a pillow to her chest as the tears continued to stream from her eyes. The brunette found herself wishing that Emma would slide in behind and hold her, comfort her. But she didn't. She just stood by the door awkwardly before pointing her thumb towards the street unsurely.

"So, uh, I gotta go," Emma backed up into the hallway outside her door, "Take care, Regina. I'll be back to check on you."

"I'm not holding my breath." Regina stated stubbornly, needing to separate herself from the affectionate tone Emma had used. She heard the blonde sigh then footsteps that slowly faded to the front door slamming shut. Regina squeezed her eyes shut, willing the sob climbing up her throat back down unsuccessfully. Two sentences playing on repeat in her head made her want to sink into the ground and die.

"Congratulations. You just reunited mother and son. Maybe one day they'll even invite you to dinner."

"I don't care about what happens to you."

Yes, that was why hope was the cruelest thing.

Emma walked to the Bug in shock, running her hands up and down her face. When she got the noise complaint, she though that the caller had it all wrong, that it wasn't 108 Mifflin but 107 or 101 maybe. But when she had actually arrived on the block, she knew it was Regina. Still, when she broke in using a hairpin, she didn't expect to walk into a danger zone. There was glass and splintered wood everywhere, music so loud that her eardrums vibrated, and, for a moment, she though she had found Regina's corpse. Her body was so pale but there was blood everywhere. In those ten seconds, her heart stopped and her chest tightened.

In the Enchanted Forest, she told her mother that Regina was the one to blame for everything but she had been angry and wanted to be home. Tonight, the brunette saved them. At the party, she thought about everything, really contemplated. Cora was the catalyst. Cora, that wretched woman, was horrid and most likely led Regina down a dark path. And Emma knew that darkness could be beat. When she was a young criminal, she never thought she'd end up in a town filled with fairytale characters but here she was. And she was their Savior. If Emma could come back from her youth so could Regina.

She believed that all the way home. She believed it when she entered the apartment. She believed it when she greeted her family hello. She believed until her parents started throwing doubts in.

"Where were you? Everyone wanted you to give toast." Snow smiled, unpacking a large slice of chocolate cake and sliding it over to her daughter.

"I went to check on the noise complaint. It was Regina," Emma cleared her throat, "She was in bad shape, probably in the middle of a breakdown."

"So you turned the music down? Nice. Cake?" Snow turned to Charming and handed him a paper plate. Emma gaped at their nonchalance.

"Did you hear what I said?" The blonde asked sternly, dropping her plastic fork down. Snow sighed before looking to her husband, as if asking him to take the reins on the conversation. Emma felt like a teenager about to be scolded. It infuriated her. They lost their chance decades ago.

"Emma, as long as she isn't wreaking havoc, we don't care what happens to her. Also, why would we care? She ruined our lives and doesn't even feel sorry about it. Maybe you should just leave her alone. Let her rot." Charming pursed his lips and puffed out his chest. Yes, because Rumple had no part in what happened, right? Let's pile it on the Evil Queen, whose strings had been pulled from youth by Rumplestiltskin and Cora. Emma had been a marionette once. She could've ended up like Regina, killing people and drowning in anger. If Emma was given a hundred chances than so should the brunette.

"That's my son's mother!" Emma yelled, her cheeks red with incredibility.

"No, you're Henry's mother," Snow sighed, looking at Emma with barely contained disappointment, "She is not his mother. And we gave her plenty o chance in The Enchanted Forest. No more! We're done being duped by her!"

"And if you know what's best for you and Henry, you'd let her spiral out of control. That way there's no one to blame but herself for her demise."

"Sweetheart, please, don't go around the mansion anymore. For us." Emma shook her head before pushing the cake away from her, disgusted.

"Some heroes you are. Maybe Henry should've seen this, get the kid off his high horse." Emma spit before jogging up to the loft, not once looking back.

Regina doubled over, her knees to her chest, and let out an agonizing scream. The pain in her chest was unbearable and she was getting desperate.

"Rumplestiltskin!" She bellowed nasally as tears streamed down her face. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw smoke dissipate and knew that the imp was present. She expected mocking or jeering or something but he just walked over and sat down on the edge of the bed. He reached out a hand to remove hair that had been plastered to her face because of the tears.

"What's the matter, dearie?" He drawled and, oddly enough, he sounded concerned. Regina tried to breathe but a weak wheeze cam out.

"My heart." She struggled to speak but understood. When he wasn't manipulating her, he was a good mentor. He could've been so much more if he just let their vendetta go. When Regina was younger, she had thought of him as a second father. Now, he was an enemy. But he was the only one that could help with this. She didn't trust the sanctimonious flying blue cretin as far as she could throw her. Not that Rumple was much better.

"May I?" He placed his hand on her chest and Regina tensed. She contemplated her options. She didn't trust him with her heart as he might just crush it and end it all. After a few moments, she decided to throw caution to the wind. This pain was too excruciating to be picky. She nodded her head and Rumple pushed in and grabbed her heart lightly before pulling it out rapidly.

Rumple stared at it with fascination. Her heart was flashing black and red but there was a noticeable crack running down the center. The fissure was just on the surface though.

"A broken heart," Rumple whispered in awe, "I've only heard of this, read about it."

"What is it?" Regina gasped, watching the heart's colors swirl with intrigue.

"A broken heart occurs when a magic wielder's emotions have spiraled out of control with sadness," Rumple slowly looked Regina in the eyes, "This is incurable and the process has already begun. I'd say you have a few weeks left, dearie."

Regina screwed her eyes shut. It looks like her death wouldn't even be her choice. She had a few weeks of life left and she couldn't say she was going to live it to the fullest.

"Alright," Regina whispered, already accepting her fate, "Thank you for coming."

Rumple didn't move. He just stared, looking confused, "Good luck, dearie."

Regina just nodded succinctly, watching him disappear. She needed to get those papers written up. Once she was gone for good, she needed to know that Henry would be with Emma, especially in the eyes of the law. She though about a will, realizing she had to give her fortunes away. Maybe as a college fund for her… Emma's son. In a way, this was a blessing. She wouldn't have to take her own life, which she realized she was too afraid to do. She could just let magic take her, break her heart. It would be a poetic end. Magic brought her freedom and now it would end her. Hopefully, she could die in peace. She didn't want Henry or Emma around.

She didn't want them to forgive her and love her just because her death was imminent. And she didn't want to run around looking for some nonexistent cure. That's if they even care. Regina flinched, feeling the pain in her chest intensify for a moment.

Fate was a bitch.

A/N: This will be multi-chaptered. I'm not sure about the length but we'll see. Anyway, thanks for reading!