Edward Meets Buffy

A Twilight/Buffyverse Fan-Fiction (or not)

Set in Buffy Season 5

An Unexpected Meeting

Buffy was really bored. She was the kind of bored where, if a bolt of lightning had come down out of the sky and caused her slow and painful demise, she would have said: "Oh well, at least it's something to do." She had been walking around the same cemetery for about five years already – due to budget cuts the producers had said they could only afford one – and there had still been no major action, demon or otherwise. Perhaps she would skip round to Spike's place. Again, it was something to do, even if it was the thing she had been dreading doing all night. She hated Spike, and the only reason that she ever wanted to see him was that he kind of had the hots for her, so would do basically anything to win her affection. Buffy started down the overgrown path she had walked so many times. Yes, she decided, she would go and see Spike. If anything, he was fun to kick.

She was outside the heavy wooden door to the crypt where the only person she hated more than Principal Snyder was probably skulking around. To her surprise, the door was locked. Oh yay, she thought. Fun kicky door time. Then fun kicky Spike time for making her scuff her new leather boots. She was just about to kick, when she heard the voice.

"I wouldn't go in there if I was you."

Buffy brandished the stake she was holding wildly, but the voice seemed not to have seen it.

"Seriously, I went in there. I thought it looked cool. Turns out someone's actually living there. Man, that guy was weird."

Buffy decided that, although she had known this disembodied voice only two minutes, it was already getting on her nerves and she was going to slay it. After all, she was the Slayer, and slaying things was what she did best.

"So what are you then?" she asked, her voice ringing out loud and clear in the darkness. It had to – in the pitch black of the cemetery, sound was her only defense.

"What do you mean, what am I?" the voice asked. It might be, as Spike would say, "taking the piss," but it sounded genuinely confused.

"I mean, what kind of creature of the night are you that you would be creeping round a cemetery on a school night? Surely your Mom has something to say to you about that?"

"I could well ask you the same question."

"Look, I'm the Slayer. I have a kind of sacred-calling-duty-thing-whatever, and that gives me a free cemetery pass, okay?"

"What's a… uh… a Slayer?"

"What's A Slayer?"

"Let me get this straight, you don't know what a Slayer is?"

"Umm… that would be correct, yes."

"How come – I mean – not to be rude or anything…" Buffy's voice trailed off. The disembodied voice perhaps understood her frustration, for it chose this moment to appear. It stepped down off the roof of the crypt as easily as a person – or indeed a vampire – would walk downstairs.

"Hi," it said, and Buffy gaped at it. It – or, rather, he – was very beautiful, but, unfortunately, Buffy was taken. By one guy who she loved, and another who she didn't. If she hadn't already had the two ongoing commitments, then she would definitely have given her number to this guy.

"Uh… hi."

"You didn't answer my question."

"What…? Oh… what's a Slayer… uh…" Buffy couldn't quite remember what a Slayer actually was, nor how she had come to be one. She was just totally smitten.

"Hey, handsome." Someone tapped Edward on the shoulder.

Buffy looked up at her rescuer. "Oh yay…" she said, and that's all she remembered before she blacked out.

Fallen Angel

When Buffy came to she was on a cold, stone floor. There was an empty bottle of wine next to her. She was confused. What had just happened? More importantly, had she drunk all that?

"What just happened?" she asked, and a bolt of something leapt through her heart as she saw Spike standing over her, looking down with interest and mild concern. "Did I drink all that?" she asked again, hoping to God that the answer was no.

"No way, pet." Spike answered. "You think I'd waste that on you?"

"No, of course not," Buffy answered, slightly to quickly for even her to trust. "So, what happened? The last thing I remember is –"

"Getting flagged down by that pretty boy, yeah, I know the story."

"What happened to him?" she asked.

"Oh – now that is a funny story. Dr Handsome was even stupider than he looked for that one. We got chatting, turns out he hasn't even heard of a Slayer. Apparently, they don't have them where he comes from. Not surprising, as you're the only one, but still. He also asked why the hell I lived in a crypt. Why the hell do you think I live in a crypt?" Spike shouted, thumping a conveniently placed tomb.

"Because you die in the sunlight?" Buffy suggested.

"That was a rhetorical question, love. It doesn't need an answer, but thanks anyway. You know what? That pretty boy's a vampire too, and he doesn't die in the sunlight!"

"He told you that?"

"Oh, I can be very persuasive when I want to, pet, don't forget that. He said that the breed of demon he comes from, they call themselves vampires, but really, the only way to kill them is to shred them and then set them on fire."

"What then?" Buffy asked. She was getting quite into this.

"So, I did it, didn't I? And that's what I needed the wine for."

"Nice story, now help me up," Buffy said, clawing at the nearby tombs in an effort to get back onto her feet.

"Not so fast, love, I haven't got to the good bit yet!" Spike kicked Buffy back down, and hissed as a jolt of pain shot through his head. "Guess what I found in that boy's pocket? Love potion. The kind where you sprinkle some on and any living critter that sees you instantly experiences true love. Nice, huh? And that's how you got all smitten with Mr. Perfect, allowing him to possibly kill you. If he wasn't a vegetarian."

Buffy was about to ask what Spike was going on about, with love potions and veggie vamps, but he grabbed her arms and pulled he to her feet. "Thanks," she said.

"Don't mention it, love. I'm a man of my word." They both seemed to realize simultaneously that they were now standing face-to-face, and holding hands. Buffy leaned forward and kissed Spike lightly on the mouth.

"Thanks," she said. "For saving me, I mean, not for the lecture."

They let go of each other's hands.

"So," Buffy said, with a sly playfulness in her voice. "Shall we fight now?"