Last Thoughts
Last time I talk to you I was so rude to you. I'm so sorry I wish I can get a second chance with our friendship and everything else, but I know I'll never get it now. I was your friend that you always turn to and I blew you off that day. You needed me and I ran away. All This is my fault if only I was there with you, but I wasn't and cause of that all of this is my fault.
Playground schoolbell rings again,
rainclouds come to play again,
has no one told you she's not breathing?
Is this rain that pouring down your tears? If they are then why are you crying? Don't cry for me and my misery. I deserve to be alone and to suffer like you did on that day. I hate myself for what I did and hated how I treated you. Don't take pitty on a guy like me cause I don't deserve anything from you or anyone else. On top of that I felt bad for what I did and went back to you and saw you being killed. I didn't do anything to stop it. NOTHING!!! I stood there and watch everything. When you fell to the ground ran to you and was hoping you were breathing. You were and your last breath was 'You are my best friend Hiei and you always have my back. I have no regrets of picking you for being my friend and best friend.'
Hello.
I am your mind,
giving you someone to talk to.
Hello!
Those words haunt me every day. I know you know that I blew you off that day cause I couldn't deal with you that day. So, why did you say those words to me? I hurt you even more that day yet you said those words. Now I'm starting hear things in my head and they all have your sweet innocent voice. The same voice I fell in love with. Yes, I loved you. I was just to afraid to say it and not because of my rep. Because of the possible outcome that you would rejected me. That why I couldn't deal with you that day I couldn't hold it in around you anymore.
If I smile and don't believe,
soon I know I'll wake from this dream,
I'm starting to hope this is a dream and I will wake up soon and you be there to drag me out of my bed. And making me get ready for school for we can walk to school with each and the gang. I do have dreams that seem so real that I think it is until I hear your voice all around me yelling 'Wake Up!! Hiei!!! WAKE UP!' Some reason I hope that the truth now and I'll be hearing you anytime soon.
Don't try to fix me I'm not broken!
Hello!
I am the lie, living for you so you can hide!
Don't cry.
Am I trying to hide from the truth? Am I that big of a coward? I hidden my feelings and now you never will know them. I just stood there while you were being killed. So, I guess i am a coward. I'm so torn up by this that I can't cry anymore and I'm more out of it than usual. I just want to die and get rid of this regret and misery.
Suddenly I know I'm not sleeping!
Hello?!
I'm still here!
All thats left of yesterday...
THATS IT!!! I had enough of my life. I don't deserve to be alive while your dead. I know that the gang know about what I'm thinking about, but i wrote them a letter anyways. Kurama should be on his way any moment cause he's been telling me its not the answer to this, but it is for me. I went through to many horrible things in my life and I just can't take it anmore. Its time to end it and everything else. The voices are getting more, and more louder and more like you very day. I can only make on out some of it now and its trying to get my attention. I know the voices telling me no, but I just want to be free from this misery. So, these are my last thoughts in the living world and I can say this proudly. I'm going to be free. "I'm free..."