Disclaimer: Obsidian owns Casavir and Khelgar. Thank the gods they are not responsible for the dialogue.
Notes: If this had actually happened, which it didn't, it would fall the second morning after Chapter 13: The Lady. Dawnbringer Kayla has liberated Old Owl Well and returned to Callum's Greycloak encmapment. Casavir inadvertently observed Kayla in the nude while she bathed. Khelgar had a rather unsettling revelation about human anatomy. Casavir and Kayla have established a functional professional relationship and are taking their first hesitant steps toward friendship. Please note that the word used was functional, not healthy. Kayla and company have left the Greycloak encampment and are en route to Neverwinter. Along the way, they hope to encounter Khelgar's kin, the Ironfists. Please note that this was written on my lunch hour after a rather stressful week. It is intended as a parody, not as a legitimate part of their story. Apologies in advance for any sensitivities that might be bruised along the way. Things are not always as they seem. Again, I want to emphasize that this is most definitely not part of Always Another Morning.
As far as Khelgar was concerned, this was the best part of the day, unless there would be drinking later. It was still early, barely half a candle past sunup, and his companions were still rolled in their blankets, dozing away those last few moments before the heat baked them out of their lean-tos.
Kayla was probably up, he reckoned, though she was likely still at her devotions... or not. Was that her voice, coming from Casavir's lean-to? It must be, though Khelgar could not verify that, as the paladin had hung a blanket across the open front of the enclosure.
"That tickles!" Khelgar heard Kayla giggle.
"I am sorry, my lady," the paladin's deep voice said. Khelgar shrugged. She was in there with him, all right.
"No," Kayla said, "it's all right."
"Are you sure you want me to do this?" the paladin asked.
"I'm sure," Khelgar heard Kayla say. "If you don't do it, I'll have to get someone else, and at least I know you'll be gentle."
Khelgar shook his head. That had to have been the most ungainly proposition in the history of courtship, but at least they'd gotten over their difficulties with each other.
"I'll try, my lady," Casavir's voice sounded concerned, "but it will hurt, I fear."
No kidding, Khelgar thought, recalling what he'd seen in the mens' bath.
The dwarf was going to leave, give them some privacy, but the paladin's next words put all thought of that from his mind.
"I can heal you afterward," he heard the man say.
"I don't think that will be necessary," Kayla said matter-of-factly. "It won't bleed much."
"Perhaps," Casavir sounded skeptical, "but you will not be able to walk comfortably, and I fear the injury will slow you.
Clangeddin's beard, how big did the thing get? Granted, the dwarf did not doubt that it might smart a bit, and the paladin's fears of hurting her were certainly justified, but to speak of lasting injury, that might require healing... what was he going to do, exactly? And they were both so casual about it!
"Just do it quick, Casavir," she said, "and get it over with."
"If you wish, my lady," he said, with what sounded like resignation. Khelgar shook his head.
"How do you do this?" she asked.
"Just lie on the blanket," he said, "that's it. Now relax. It will sting, but it will all be over soon."
Khelgar had to swallow a laugh at that. It probably would be, but most men in Casavir's position would not say so up front.
The dwarf winced at Kayla's gasp, then shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot at what sounded like her whimpering. What in the hells was he about, if he couldn't tell she was in pain?
"Ow!" Kayla cried out.
"Damn!" the paladin swore. "Almost had it. I know it hurts, but your wiggling isn't helping. Can you steel yourself just a little longer? Just think about how much better it will feel when it's out."
Khelgar wanted to flee. There were some things an outsider just should not hear. He could not bear to stay, but he could not seem to tear himself away, either.
Kayla was quieter now, but suddenly, she let out a yelp.
"Stop it, Casavir!" she pleaded. "I can't take it anymore. It's in too deep. Is there nothing in that kit that will numb it?"
"No need," Casavir's voice sounded clipped, like he was concentrating very hard. "Almost got it... almost..."
Two things happened at that moment. The paladin let out a satisfied "There!" and Khelgar's blood boiled. Paladin or not, nobody was going to hurt his Kayla like that, and especially once she'd told him to stop! He tore down the blanket over the front of the lean-to... and stared.
Kayla lay facedown on the paladin's bedroll, all right, but she was dressed... as was Casavir. The paladin sat at the foot of the blanket, with one of Kayla's bare feet clenched in one hand. The other held a pair of forceps and a very large, bloody thorn. They both stared at him, mouths open in surrpise.
"Bloody hells," Khelgar swore.
Kayla recovered first.
"What are you doing here, Khelgar?" she asked calmly.
"I... um... that is to say... " Khelgar sputtered. "Damn it, I was walking by, and I heard you yowling, and telling Cas to stop, and..."
"I am sorry I have done so little to earn your trust," the paladin said reproachfully.
"Well, it did sound like something else... through the canvas..." his face burned.
Kayla laughed.
"Don't be too hard on him, Cas," she chuckled. "Just think of what you would have done, in Khelgar's place."
Casavir did not laugh, though he did look a bit sheepish.
"I'd have killed him before I found out my error," the paladin admitted guiltily.
Kayla was still smiling. Khelgar allowed himself a sigh of relief.
"Since you know the half of it already," Kayla said, "I foolishly decided that I could do my morning devotions without boots, just this once. I stepped on a thorn, and you heard the rest."
"I'll go start breakfast," Khelgar muttered, and stomped off.