A/N: So, I got bored and finally decided to put this in print. Also, in school funk.
The back story, if you're interested, is that I had to help a friend move across state recently. Said friend and her fiancé spent practically the entire car ride making me wonder if marriage was the best thing for them. Basically, poor Steve is my point of view, but please note he does not have a frightened forty pound dog and a freaked out cat in the backseat with him. And, with that thought, the story.
Disclaimer: I don't even own the car this came to me in.
"I cannot believe I allowed you to drive."
Steve winced in the backseat at Tony's words. If he'd known hitching a ride with Pepper and Tony would be this nerve wracking he'd have taken his chances of being recognized on the subway. It just hadn't seemed practical at the time when Steve and Tony were going to the same place.
"I'm sorry, you allowed me?"
Now, however, he was thinking he would've just as gladly walked the 30 miles they had to go than endure this.
"You, Anthony Edward Stark, allow nothing. I refuse to let you drive with passengers in the car, because you seem intent on killing someone in a vehicular accident every time you get behind the wheel – "
Frankly, in Steve's opinion, Pepper could have used a few refresher tips on driving as well, but he wasn't dumb enough to say so out loud. Turns out he didn't have to, Tony said it for him.
"That's because I'm trying to get places, Virginia Potts, and what do you call that," the engineer jabbed a thumb behind them.
"What do I call what?" Pepper glanced over her shoulder, while they were stopped at a red light they barely made. Steve could practically hear the brakes straining while he imitated a bobble-head doll.
"That line back there? The one the car is supposed to be behind at the light?" Tony asked slowly.
"Oh, for goodness sake, those are just suggestions," Pepper waved a hand flippantly and rolled her eyes.
Judging by how close the oncoming traffic was to the nose of their car, Steve would've said it was a good suggestion.
"A suggestion?" Tony said in disbelief, "Is that what you call those three stop signs you just sailed through?"
"I hit the brakes and there was no one around, don't be dramatic."
"I'm Tony Stark, dramatic is pretty much my life."
"And since when were you the voice of reason in this relationship?"
"Since when were you the irresponsible one?"
"I'm not irresponsible, you're a control freak."
"What is this we're listening to, anyway?"
"Driver picks music Tony, shut your cakehole."
"My brain is melting."
"Good, maybe you'll stop talking."
The argument only became more juvenile from there, to the point Steve wanted to smash his head through a window. He settled for leaning his head against the door and tried to tune them out.
Unfortunately, that was the moment they arrived at their destination and Pepper didn't realize the place was gated. Steve jolted and smacked his head on the window (thankfully, no smashing occurred) as tires squealed.
"Oh, Steve, I'm sorry," Pepper turned and patted his knee while he rubbed his head.
"'S fine," Steve mumbled.
His assurance was lost under Tony's, "I told you to slow down."
Pepper slammed the car into park, "You didn't say it was that close."
"What did you think I meant by 'slow down'?" Tony asked shrilly.
"Ugh, just go to your stupid meeting, I'll pick you up in an hour," Pepper grumbled.
"Fine, love you," Tony reached over and pecked Pepper on the cheek.
"You too," She replied and shooed them out of the car.
As Steve and Tony got out and walked to the building Steve finally got the chance to tentatively ask, "So . . . are you two, you know, okay?"
Tony looked at him in confusion, "Me and Pepper? We're fine. Why? Wait . . . what've you heard?" Tony suddenly looked stricken.
Steve just stared for a second, then shook his head and walked the rest of the way to the meeting.
"Wait, Steve! Seriously, what've you heard?" Tony rushed after him and Steve decided he was definitely taking the subway back home.
A/N: Idk, boredom breeds weird slice-of-life fics in me. At least Steve didn't get his favorite Batman t-shirt ruined by a psychotic overweight cat. Sorry if anyone's OOC I'm modeling after my friends and didn't really proof read. Also, props to anyone who saw the Supernatural reference.
On a completely unrelated note, as of November 2nd those friends of mine are happily married, tehe.