SCUTTLEBUTT CONVERSATIONS
A/N: Ok this was inspired by a friend's X-Files story about a water cooler... Stupidity reigns supreme
Anthony DiNozzo
"Hey there." Tony said as he poured himself a cup of water, "Sorry, I won't take too much."
Bubble, bubble
"Well sorry SB." Tony responded, "You never said that hurt before. There's something I want to ask you. I understand if you don't want to answer it. I don't know if there's some sort of Agent/Scuttlebutt confidentiality." Tony said, "Does Ziva David talk about me?"
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"Sorry you're right." Tony replied, "Zee-Vah Daveed. I'm sure she talks about me to her letter opener but her letter opener's not saying anything."
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"No, I didn't mean to imply that I only come to you as a second choice... It's just the letter opener is on her more than anything." Tony stopped for a moment, "No... Honestly I wasn't wishing myself to be the letter opener. You know you're the only one I fantasize about. Really!"
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"What?" Tony asked.
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"Alright then." Tony looked around for awhile, "I like to think I'm the only one who knows how to press the right button. Ooh sweet Scuttlebutt, you're the only one who can quench my thirst."
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"More, you want more!" Tony said, "When your juices fill my mouth, it's so incredibly refreshing. You truly have the nectar of the Gods."
Bubble, bubble
"Actually, yes I do like the powerpuff girls. I taped all their episodes last week." Tony said, "Which one do you like?"
Bubble
"Really, I like Buttercup." Tony replied.
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"Buttercup..."
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"Buttercup..."
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"BUTTERCUP!" Tony yelled at the Scuttlebutt, "I don't care what you say, Buttercup's the best one. Have you caught the latest James Bond Movie?"
Bubble
"Yeah, Casino Royale." Tony answered, "It's a great movie. I love the suit... So have you seen it?"
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"Hey don't get testy. It's not my fault you're just a Scuttlebutt, come on."
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"Did Ziva tell you to say that to me?!" Tony yelled, "You better apologize to me or else I'll do something you'll totally regret."
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"If you apologize, you wouldn't have to find out." Tony warned it.
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"I warned you." Tony said as he reached down and began emptying out it's contents, "So there."
Bubble, bubble, bubble, bubble, bubblebubblebubble
"Say you're sorry!" Tony shouted, "Say it."
Bubble
"You see, that wasn't so hard was it?" Tony said as he tightened the tap back up.
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"Yes that girl is pretty hot. You want me to get you her number." Tony said.
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Tony talked to the woman and soon came back, "Here you go. Where do you want it?" He asked as he looked at it.
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"Really." Tony said, "Alright." He opened up the Scuttlebutt and put it into the water.
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"You want the Weekly Crime Report and Threat Assessment to read?" Tony asked. He thought for a moment before leaving the area and came back, "There you go... I guess you like to keep up to date." Tony put the reports into the water as well, "Happy reading."