A/N: As promised, here is the next story in the Series series. This story takes place at some unknown time after the events of A Series of Romantic Burning Buildings so it's not exactly a sequel. It's not going to be a very long story and the chapters might be a bit short, but hopefully it will be an entertaining and interesting to you.

Hunter X Hunter does not belong to me.

A Series of Very Bad Jokes

In Kuroro's estimation, it was sometime after two and closer to three in the early morning when his cell phone suddenly rang. That in itself should have been a warning that things were about to take a turn for the worse, but in his defence, he had been in the middle of REM sleep and was as disorientated as was possible for someone like him to be when the call came. In any case, instead of ignoring the call as he should have, he had raised his head sleepily, groped for the offending object and finally brought it to his ear with a muffled, non-verbal complain.

"Kuroro," he mumbled, and re-buried his head into the unfamiliar but comfortingly fluffy pillow.

"Hello dear," Midoya's voice chirped with disgusting cheer in his ear. In hindsight, that should have been his second warning that things were about to take a turn etc etc. On one hand, yes, Midoya June Kito was his lover, his partner, the woman he was currently in a very enthusiastic and creative sexual relationship with. On the other hand, she was also the same person who had set a powerful mafia don on the Ryodan, stabbed him through the heart with a knife, drugged, kidnapped and ravished him, and who on most occasions than not, dragged him into a lot of trouble that usually ended with him staring at the huge hole in an inconvenient part of his body and wondering how on earth it had gotten there. It probably said something about his mental state that he still found her one of the most attractive people in the world, and this was despite the fact that Midoya had been born with a face only a blind mother could love.

In any case, it was a testimony to how off he was that, instead of running away screaming like one of those heavy metal bands Midoya sometimes listened to, he half-growled half-mumbled, with a degree of annoyed affection, "Hello Midoya."

She laughed out loud at that. She had a very elegant, almost melodious laugh. And she sounded so happy. And awake. And well-rested. Damn that woman. "Goodness, you sound so cute and sleepy," she commented fondly.

"Yes, that would be because I was sleeping," Kuroro sighed, tucking his head under the covers. "I know it is morning in York Shin but I can't say the same for where I am now. You really should have taken that into consideration before calling me." At least he tried to say 'consideration'. In the end, it was too many syllables for his brain to handle, so he mumbled something that might have been, "You really should have taken that into comummuramum before calling me."

Midoya laughed again and replied, "I know that. It's exactly two thirty-four in the early morning where you are now. You have been sleeping for only two hours, you poor baby. You really should have gone to sleep earlier instead of reading Lovecraft's works; you know how those stories always make it hard for you to sleep because you can't help thinking about how you could apply his techniques to interrogating your poor victims."

"Exactly," Kuroro murmured, eyes half-closed. Then they snapped open again as the alarm bells ringing in his head finally gave up trying to get his attention in a subtle and polite way, and kicked him in a very sensitive part of his anatomy instead. "How did you know that?" he demanded, rising up on one elbow. "How did you know how long I've been sleeping and what time it is where I am?"

"Oh, I know a lot about where you are now, sweetie. You're in the Republic of Duma, checked into the Hotel Dumaras. Your room number is twenty-three. You've been in Duma for two weeks, hitting various banks and museums in a very exciting robbery spree. On that note, I must let you know that the diamond you took from safety box thirty-seven is probably a fake, but then, you probably already know that and just intend to sell it as a real diamond to some ignorant buffoon. I also know that you've developed a fondness for a café you found on Hopoko Street since you've eaten there six times this week. You are also, silly boy, all alone without your precious Spiders."

Slowly, Kuroro sat up, eyes narrowing. "How did you know that?" he repeated softly but menacingly, reaching for his trousers and slipping them on even as he spoke to her. "Have you been keeping track of my activities?"

"Only for the past twenty-four hours. Don't worry dear, it's not something I intend to make a habit of, though I might now that I've seen how good you look in that black spandex suit you wore while infiltrating the Duma Museum of Popular Culture as part of a circus troupe." Well, damnation. This was not good; he could hear the wicked smile in her voice, the one she always wore right before she unleashed a world of mayhem and chaos onto her poor victims.

"Midoya, what is this about?" he demanded, hopping on one foot as he attempted to put on his trousers with only one hand. "What are you planning?"

"Aw, you can't guess?"

"This will not be the first time I'm telling you that it is beyond my mere mortal powers to predict the fearsome force of nature that is you," Kuroro told her, a note of warning in his voice. Unfortunately, his attempt at scolding her only made her laugh.

"Alright," she said, still laughing. "Here's a clue. Do you know what date it is today, Kuroro?"

Kuroro frowned, struggling to zip up his fly with one hand even as he tried to make sense of her question. What did she mean by that? Why was she following him and what did the date have to do with anything? "It's the last day of March… no, it's the first of April," he said finally. "Why?"

"Got that in one, dear!" Midoya exclaimed gleefully. "Happy April Fool's Day!"

"What?" Before Kuroro could further question her on the strange and bizarre greeting, multiple presences flared on his radar, indicating at least four people at the door to his room. Immediately, Kuroro sprang for the bed, one hand darting under his pillow to pull out his Benz. At the same instant, the door to his room clicked open and four people charged into the room in a cloud of Midnight Poisson Eau de Parfum.

"Surprise!" the quartet of burly, Ubogin-size drag queens shouted, showering his room with glitter, feather boas and thick, muscular, waxed legs. As Kuroro gaped at them openly, they yanked off the various glitzy, sequinned outfits they were wearing, revealing definitely male bodies and a collection of equally-glittery machine guns that had been hiding under their skirts. "Happy Birthday to you!" they howled, showering him with bullets. "Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday Kuroro-you-poor-fucker! Happy Birthday to you!"

By then, Kuroro was already diving out of the window, glass shattering around his bare torso as he landed on the ground and rolled away. "What on earth is happening, Midoya!" he shouted into the phone. "Four drag queens are shooting at me! At me!"

"I know," Midoya replied, and he heard her smile widening. "There are still twenty-one hours left to this day. Good luck." The phone clicked off and Kuroro stared at it, torn between the desire to either call her back and yell at her (or at least speak very sternly to her), or smash the phone on the ground and scream like a frightened child.

In the end he decided on neither because the drag queens had appeared at the broken window with their machine guns. "Oh Kuroro baby!" they cooed, giggling and tittering like school-girls. "Come back here so we can shoot you to our hearts' content!" Which was one euphemism too many for Kuroro.

"Well bugger me silly," he cursed and took off down the street, four trails of glitter, sequins and bullets after him.

Shirtless, beltless, penniless, in short, devoid of all his belongings but one pair of trousers, one pair of underpants and one cell phone, Kuroro was certain he made quite a sight as he sprinted down a side-street away from the hotel. At least, he would make quite a sight if there had been anyone to see him. Dumaras, the city he was currently in was the financial capital of the Republic of Duma. Hence, the small city was occupied mostly by banks, offices, some light industries and other money-making things. Almost all new arrivals here were people on business trips as there was nothing worth seeing for leisurely tourists in this city. Hence, the city went to sleep much earlier than some places, like York Shin or Agocchi. The most exciting thing Kuroro had seen so far (from a tourist's point of view at least), was a tiny bar that claimed to cater to 'Foreign Tastes'. It served York Shin-style pizza and Padokian-brewed beer. It also remained open to the ungodly and scandalous hour of eleven at night.

Either way, the lack of night life was something to be grateful for, Kuroro mused, as he slipped into the silent night. With a quartet of drag queens coming after him, the last thing he needed was to be arrested by the police for wandering around barefoot and shirtless. Apparently, as he had discovered in his short stay here, people here were a lot more conservative than he was used to. Not wearing a shirt was apparently somewhat of a social no-no, as was men dressing as women, women speaking loudly, and chewing gum. He could only hope that mentality would impede the progress of the drag queens as they hunted him down. Surely the police would be more inclined to arrest cross-dressers than a shirtless man, right? He wasn't too sure, but he was certain people were normally more uptight about men wearing women's clothes than men running around naked. The logic always confounded Kuroro, since the reason for wearing clothes was to protect a person's modesty after all, so weren't men in women's clothes being more modest than naked men?

But his mind was taking refuge in the mundane. The quartet of drag queens weren't his primary problem. They weren't even close to being a problem. After all, they were only the symptoms of a much deeper problem, the consequences of a greater cause, the minions of a particular woman: Midoya June Kito.

Screeching to a stop just five feet from the main street, Kuroro glanced behind and judged himself far enough from the hotel to rest a little. Pulling his phone out of his pocket, he dialled Midoya's number again and waited. Two other tries later, she still hadn't picked up the phone. Either she was content to leave him to his own devices or she was genuinely busy with something else. That was not… good. He had no idea what she was up to or why she had deigned to attack him like this. That she had called to warn him before the attack was probably due to their new policy of open honesty, but in Kuroro's opinion, her honesty had hardly been 'open' enough. He still had no idea why she was attacking him, and he had no idea what her cryptic reference to the date meant. Well… when in doubt… Kuroro found himself dialling another less familiar number.

A few seconds later, Kuroro heard the phone click. "Hello?"

"Pepeka, it's Kuroro," Kuroro said, glancing behind him to make sure the coast was still clear.

"Hey, bro. What's up?" Pepeka Timbal, Blacklist Hunter, and Midoya's ex-apprentice and secret admirer replied distractedly and with a distinct lack of enthusiasm. Kuroro had gotten the impression that Pepeka was not terribly happy that he and Midoya had gotten back together again. He did seem to have reconciled himself with their relationship though, because he was at least being polite, which was the most one could ask for from someone of Pepeka's character.

"Many things are up at the moment, Pepeka, which is the reason for this call. I wanted to ask…" Kuroro paused and frowned, listening hard. "Pepeka, are those explosions I hear in the background?"

"Huh? Uh, yeah. They're explosions… of uh… sorts. I guess they're pretty loud, huh?"

"Indeed, they are. What are they? Are you being attacked? You don't sound too alarmed, which seems rather uncharacteristic of you. Oh, I get it. They're fireworks, aren't they?"

"What? No, they're not fireworks. They're just land-to-air missiles... uh… like missiles that go from the land to me, who am in the air. I'm actually riding a hang glider now and I've got a bunch of people dressed as Big Foot firing those missiles at me. I'm like five thousand feet in the air because I like jumped off the World Tree, not the top of course, which is a pity. It would be fun to glide down from that high up. Too bad I didn't have a chance to get that high before I jumped, though it's probably a good thing since the pressure would have probably caused me to pass out. Anyway, those Big Foot… Feet are fucking powerful Nen-users and I couldn't shake them off properly so whatever. Still, the wind is fucking insane, man. It's like surfing but way cooler. You should try it one day."

Kuroro blinked and stared at the phone. "You what?" he asked cautiously. "Did I hear you clearly? I'm quite certain you said you're being chased by Big Foot."

"Yeah, that's what I said. To be accurate, I'm being chased by several Big Feet. Huh, that sounds wrong. Is that the plural for Big Foot or is it like Big Foots? Shit, I can't decide. You tell me, Kuroro. You and sensei are the smart ones."

It was a good question, but Kuroro refused to be derailed from his inquiry. "Big Foot?" he demanded instead. "Do you mean the Missing Link?"

"Yeah. Like the ape that walks upright thingy. You must have seen the videos on the Net; you know what I'm talking about."

"Well… yes, yes, of course." Kuroro shook his head. "I just never expected to… Well. Are you free to speak now? I sense that I'm interrupting something."

" No, not really. I can talk for now at least. They can't get a good shot at me because of the awesome wind. Besides, this is just sensei being sensei, so I'm used to it."

"Right." Kuroro's not-insubstantial intellect made a large jump in the process of logical thought. "Pepeka, will this have anything to do with four incredibly inappropriate drag queens breaking into my room, singing 'happy birthday' to me, though it is not my birthday while opening fire on me with glittery pink machine guns?"

"Hah! You got the drag queens this year!"

Kuroro stared some more as Pepeka laughed uproariously into the phone. "You sound like you know who I'm talking about."

"Sure do. They're Penny, Ashley, Nijima and Tamago. Really nice dudes once you get to know them. I mean, the waxed legs and obsession with guns took a little getting used to, but hey, it ain't up to me to judge them."

"Are you serious?" Kuroro rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Is this normal behaviour for them?"

"If sensei sent them, yeah. It's April Fool's day, isn't it? She does this every year."

"Does what every year?" Kuroro demanded. "I've known her for years and this is the first time she's done this to me. In fact, if it's not too much trouble, I would like to know what exactly 'this' is."

"What? You don't know?"

"If I did, I wouldn't be calling you."

"Right. It's uh… well… A short answer would be: pranks."

"Pranks."

"Yeah, pranks."

"Like 'practical jokes' and whatnot?"

"Yeah. That's right."

"I'm going to kill her."

"Geez, cool your jets, dude. It's not a big deal. Maybe she's only doing it to you now because she finally feels comfortable enough with you to screw you up. I mean, you really need to be close to her to get this."

"What? Screw me up? Close to her? What on earth do you mean?"

"Come on, man. It's April Fool's. Sensei's just playing pranks on us. Get in the swing of things and have fun!"

"Being fired on by four drag queens isn't a prank, Pepeka. I'm running around half-naked in a conservative town where I've just committed several crimes. It is not funny at all."

"It sure is if you're sensei."

Kuroro opened his mouth to protest then closed it then opened it again. Finally, he stopped his rather decent imitation of a goldfish in favour of a pensive expression, which looked a lot more dignified than the expression ornamental fish wore. "You're right; this is quite Midoya's style, I must admit. She does have a rather bizarre and… violent sense of humour." He sighed. "So how do I get her to stop?"

"You can't, but don't worry. It'll stop once the first of April is over. She's on York Shin time by the way, in case you are somewhere else in the world. Relax man, just enjoy the process. It's kind of fun once you get into it." Something exploded quite close to Pepeka and he cursed cheerfully. "Oh yeah, word of advice, bro, don't stay in one place for too long. She definitely has more than a couple of queens on your tail." Pepeka's voice grew quiet with remembered horror. "She always does."

"Thanks for the warning," Kuroro said, and dodged, just in time to avoid the woman wearing a fetishized nurse costume jumping at him with a scalpel. As he did, he almost dropped his phone. Luckily, he had the presence of mind to hold on to it.

The nurse (for lack of better name) rounded on him with a smile. "You look like you are cold, darling," she purred. "Wouldn't you like me to warm you up?"

"No thank you," Kuroro said, backing away warily.

"No, I insist." With a flourish, she pulled off her costume to reveal what could only be a rocket launcher. "It's my job to look after patients after all!" she shouted then threw back her head and delivered a rather good overly-dramatic evil laugh.

How did she hide that weapon under her skimpy clothes? Where did she learn to laugh like that? And where on earth did Midoya find people like this? Those were the questions running through Kuroro's mind. Unfortunately, he was too busy diving away from the rocket to actually ask them.

The heat of the explosion seared at his skin as Kuroro sprang back to his feet, just in time to hear the nurse deliver another incredibly evil laugh. "You can run, but you can't hide!" she declared with a dramatic flourish of her scalpel. "I shall hunt you down and violate your flesh!"

"Right. No thank you."

Turning on his heel, Kuroro took off down for the main road, shaking his head. Relax and enjoy the process?

Not likely to happen.

Two hours and five attacks later (by drag queens, a woman in a nurse costume, a group of dominatrix, a man in a grinning bear mascot suit and a quintet of pale, glittery men with golden eyes screaming that they had been madly in love with him for a 'thousand years'), Kuroro decided that Pepeka's advice was far from sufficient. No matter where he went in Dumaras, Midoya's little pranksters always managed to find him. The city was just too small for him to hide properly from what was obviously a very resourceful spy network. Worse, it was now close to five in the morning, and the city was starting to stir. Though Kuroro had managed to acquire a shirt, shoes and cash by the simple act of robbing a boutique, he had no doubt that running around Dumaras while chased by a variety of people who looked like they belonged in adult-only films was still going to get him into more trouble than this trip was worth.

At this point, wearing an over-sized T-shirt with a cartoon bear on it that declared he was 'Friendly and Cute', and tucked in a dark alley occupied by seven dead rats and one heavily drunk homeless man, Kuroro decided that there was no sense in merely reacting to Midoya's little game. Running around as he was now was getting him nowhere, and there was still nineteen hours left till the end of the first of April (York Shin time). He was not going to last that long. Sooner or later, he was going to get caught and violated – not necessarily in that order.

Squatting between the dead rats and as far as the homeless man as he could, Kuroro turned his brilliant brain to the issue. There were essentially two paths he could take. One, he could fight back when Midoya's inappropriately-dressed pranksters attacked him. In order to stop the pranks for good, the best thing he could do was kill them after all. However, that was one path he would rather not take. Not only were the attacks on him more playful than harmful, these people were obviously Midoya's employees, and he doubted she would take kindly to him massacring her people when she had taken the trouble to, he now realised, let him know that this was all in the name of fun.

After all, Kuroro mused as he tried in vain to rub red lipstick off his neck (the result of a rather overly enthusiastic woman dressed as a kinky vending machine), killing her pranksters would, in a way, be an admission of weakness, that he was unable to get away from the minions she had sent after him. Letting these pranksters outwit him and force him to resort to violence was thus definitely a no-no. In other words, that left him with only one option, and that is to escape Dumaras.

That her pranksters could find him so easily in this city told him that Midoya had set up a wide, far-reaching spy network in this city. Her call to him, when she had listed out how much she knew about his activities in Dumaras, had hinted at that. If she had set up a network in anticipation of chasing him half-naked around the city then the best thing he could do was to get out of the city. In fact, he should not only leave the city, but the country of Duma as well. He had no idea how widespread Midoya's spy network was, but knowing her, he would bet that she had spies in every city and town in Duma. When Midoya set her mind to a task, she spared absolutely no expenses to complete it. Underestimating the scope of her influence would be deadly, especially for his dignity. She had definitely not told her pranksters that he was not to be molested, groped, and generally sexually harassed. Definitely not.

Mind made up, Kuroro straightened up, stretching out the cramps in his calves as he considered his options. There were two ways out of Duma: by blimp or by land transport. Since Duma was on the same continent as the Republic of Padokia, it was not impossible to hire a car or jump on a train and travel to a different country. However, since Dumaras was located in the heart of Duma, a fairly large country, it would take quite a while to actually travel out by land transport. By the time he got out, the Kalends of April would be over and it wouldn't even be necessary to escape anymore.

As risky as it was trapping himself in a contained space with no easy route of escape, blimp it was then.

Just as he made up his mind, his phone beeped, letting him know he had a message. Surprised, Kuroro pulled his phone out and glanced at the screen. Midoya's name caught his attention and he opened the message. The message read briefly: You looked better shirtless. This was followed immediately by a picture of him taken from the back kneeling in this very alley.

Kuroro spun around, just in time to catch the homeless man bearing down on him with a true-blue gladiator sword in his hand. "They may take our lives," the man howled, "but they will never take our freedom!" A cheeky grin spread over the charcoal-stained, but obviously young face and the man added, "That was by Miss Kito's instructions, by the way."

"She got you to quote bad movie lines to me?" Kuroro asked aghast as he dodged the clumsy attack. "Have her pranks sunk that low?"

"At the very least, you'll always have Paris," the young man replied, grinning as he circled around Kuroro.

"Oh stop it. I've never even been to Paris."

The young man laughed cheerfully and leapt at him, swinging the gladiator sword in an arc that was so wide it left him open for an attack. He then followed it with a downward swipe that, though impressive-looking, almost threw him off balance. Kuroro took note of how inexperienced he obviously was, how easy it would be to damage him irreparably, and turned and fled before he accidentally killed one of Midoya's toys.

"Hey, come back!" the young man called, his voice teasing and full of glee. "I'm not done with you yet, Mister!"

"You can't always get what you want in life," Kuroro muttered.

"Oh yes, like they say, life is like a box of chocolates; you never know what you're…"

"Oh please, for all that is good and wonderful in this world, no." Abandoning the streets, Kuroro took to the roofs, leaping through the concrete jungle until he was sure he had lost the young man.

Still, by this point Kuroro had to admit that as annoying as Midoya's game was, he was starting to see the humour in them. Was not All Fool's Day supposed to be a good twenty-four hours of fun and entertainment? Why should she be the only one enjoying herself then? After all, two can play the game. He didn't necessarily have to be the only one running around in a prime imitation of a headless chicken.

In fact, Kuroro mused, while his network may not be spread out as far as Midoya's, he was still the Dancho of the Genei Ryodan and what was the Dancho good for but giving orders?

Pausing on the roof of the Bank of Duma (which he had just robbed two days ago; ah, what fond memories), Kuroro carefully mapped out what he had in mind. Then smiling, he pulled out his phone and made a call. After a five minute conversation, his plan was set in motion.

By the time Kuroro Lucifer leapt off the Bank of Duma, he was grinning evilly. Pepeka was right; this was going to be fun.

Last night, the weather forecast for York Shin had included words like 'rain', 'gloomy', 'cats', 'dogs' and 'umbrellas'. It was a testament to the failure of the media that none of that turned out to be true. There were certainly no domestic pets running around. And as of this very moment, the sun was high in the sky, reflecting off the tall, glass buildings around her and effectively blinding her. Squinting, June Kito pulled on a pair of shades and glared at the buildings as if she would destroy them if she could.

Well, technically she could, but she didn't have the time at the moment. In her business, as in all businesses, time was money, and money was good because she could use it to further build her business. Quite a vicious cycle, that. So, instead of calling up her personal demolishment team, she tossed her hair haughtily at the offending buildings and walked towards the limousine waiting for her.

As she approached the idling vehicle, June couldn't help a sigh that didn't quite come from her. What a pity it was that she had so many business meetings today. If she had a choice, she would have gone to Dumaras (as Midoya of course) and played with Kuroro. She (that is, Midoya) had never used April Fool's as an excuse to play pranks on him before; largely because she always had difficulty finding him when he didn't want to be found. She had always imagined him retreating to some secluded, hidden hut in the middle of dense forests and nestling in there with nothing but food and books for company. What a surprise it was to find out that he simply did what he always does, rob, murder and read, only by himself. But then, it had occurred to her that Kuroro didn't seem to have many hobbies at all, so it was probably good that he liked his job so much he still did it even on his days off.

At any rate, it was, Midoya had thought, her ultimate triumph, locating the elusive Dancho of the Genei Ryodan when all others have failed. Now that she had finally succeeded in ruining his day, she couldn't help wondering how he was handling it. It would be fun seeing him run around shirtless, she mused wistfully, but no, June had to be a good girl and go for those meetings. On the bright side, there was always next year, if they were still alive next year. If not… well… maybe she could turn Labour Day into a day for pranks as well? Pranks were a hell lot of labour, weren't they? It kind of made sense to play pranks on Labour Day didn't it?

Unfortunately, before she could make up her mind, the limousine was right before her, so she put those thoughts aside and slid into the car, ignoring the chauffer who was holding the door open for her. Fixing her face into a mask of icy politeness, she turned to the corpulent man sitting at the far end of the limousine. "Mr Veneson," she said coolly, holding out a hand. "It is a pleasure to meet you."

"Ms Kito!" A sweaty, soft hand gripped hers and she felt nervousness and fear radiating from the unappealingly limp fingers. "It is a pleasure to finally meet you too. Why, you are much prettier in person. The cameras don't do you any credit at all."

"Thank you," June Kito said with a cold smile. "I am glad you could come down today to discuss the sale of Summer's Love Co to the Kito Enterprise, Mr Veneson. This deal has been on the table for a long time now and I would like to close it as soon as possible. As you can imagine, many things need to be done before SLC can be reopened, so I would like to get started."

"Uh… well… about that…" Veneson stammered, wiping sweat off his forehead with a stained handkerchief, "my client… that is Mr Sutherland, he is… that is… he wanted me to tell you… that… well, this is a very difficult and complicated issue. How should I put this?"

"Succinctly," June Kito advised dryly and Veneson swallowed fearfully.

"Alright," he said shakily, "but do remember I'm only the messenger, a mouth-piece for my client, and... and just hired help, you know? Not… not… okay, I get it. Succinctly." He swallowed again, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down grotesquely under his fleshy folds. "Mr Sutherland feels that is… that the price you offered is… how do I put it… insufficient."

"Insufficient." The word dropped like a body dangling from a noose.

Veneson turned an unhealthy red and more perspiration rolled down his face. "I… I mean…" he stammered, "I personally think the price is good! Really… really quite good… but Mr Sutherland is giving up the family business and he has two children to put through college… so he was thinking… th… th…"

Very gently, June Kito put her hand on his and Veneson stopped breathing altogether. She saw his eyes darting around her face, trying to read her expression and failing. Not being able to see her eyes obviously bothered him. His hand shook under hers – probably from a lack of oxygen. "The price was agreed on in the last meeting," she said very slowly and very firmly. "There will be no changes."

"R… right…" Veneson gasped, starting to breathe again. "Right. Of course. No changes. Right. Th… that sounds good. Uh… I… Well then… I'll… I'll just go let Mr Sutherland… that is… let him uh… know."

"An excellent idea," June Kito said, smiling coldly. "Be on your way, little messenger. I don't have all the time in the world."

"Y… yes," Veneson said and started to reach for the door handle.

And, at the exact moment when he gripped the handle, a giant pendulum blade dropped onto Veneson, severing him and the limousine in half.

June Kito stared, shook her head, stared some more then decided that this was too much for a pampered, rich heiress like her to handle, and switched with Midoya, who gamely took over the staring for her. "Chauffer," she said blankly, "there's a… blade in the car and it just cut your employer in half. That seems like very bad housekeeping to me." There was no reply. A quick glance in the driver's seat let her know that the chauffer was quite dead as well.

Her seat started to tilt suddenly as gravity did its job and the two halves of the car fell apart. Midoya, still dazed, allowed herself to slide until she hit the door of on her side of the car. As her back hit the car door, her shades slid down her nose and she peered over them at the corpse in front of her with deepening confusion. What had just happened? Had a giant, curved blade like something out of an Edgar Allan Poe story really just fell on the car? Was she under attack? She couldn't sense any hostile auras in the area, so perhaps not. Was it an assassination attempt?Who had been the target then: June Kito or Veneson? Given that Veneson was the one who is dead, perhaps he was the target. Come to think of it, could the chauffer have been the target? He was dead as well after all. But then, she had to ask herself, who would want to kill that man? He had the personality of a wall, the dress sense of a desk and the face of a cushion that had been sat on for too long by an excessively obese man with over-active sweat glands.

Her phone rang so suddenly she actually jumped in her seat. Embarrassed and very glad no one had been there to see that, she fumbled for her phone and answered, "Hello?"

"Ah! Hi Kito!" Shalnark's overly cheerful voice replied. "How's it going?"

"Hello," she replied, still staring at the blade. "I'm doing great, thanks for asking. Kuroro's not with me if that's what you're calling about. He's… well, I suppose I shouldn't tell you since he might get mad at me."

"Oh, no, no! Don't worry about that. We already know Dancho is in Duma." Shalnark cleared his throat. "In fact, I'm calling on his behalf. Dancho has a message for you."

Midoya blinked as a sudden sense of dread filled her. "What message is this?" she asked cautiously.

"Happy April Fool's," Shalnark chirped and hung up on her.

"Why thank you," Midoya replied faintly to the dial tone and shut her phone.

Well, well, well. It seemed she had underestimated Kuroro. This was the first time since she had started this tradition that her pranks had been turned against her. Perhaps she should have expected this; dear Kuroro was definitely no pushover like Pepeka, who had endured her pranks, superficially disguised as 'lessons', for years.

A wide grin spread over Midoya's face. It has been a while since she had faced a challenge like this, and it was tempting to dive head first into it. But no. It was important to do damage control first. That the Ryodan struck at her while she was June Kito could signify one of two things. The first was that Kuroro was annoyed enough with her that he was willing to risk contaminating June's life with Midoya's, which he knew is something of a taboo for her, just to get his revenge. However, given the playful and inoffensive nature of her pranks so far, it was more likely the case that Kuroro had only given his Ryodan the briefest of instructions on how to prank her (the nod to Poe was definitely his doing), and they had, not knowing her pet peeves, unwittingly attacked her as June Kito. Most of them did not appreciate the fact that June and Midoya must never mix after all. If that was the case, their antics, as harmless as they were, risked polluting June's life with Midoya's presence.

Only one thing to do about that.

Quickly, Midoya pulled out her phone and called her newest secretary.

"Hello, Ms Kito?"

Silly question. June was the only one who would ever call on this line after all, but then she had hired her secretary for her loyalty, not her brains. "Janna," June said. "Cancel all my appointments for the next twenty-four hours."

"A… all of them? Why? Is something wrong?" Ah, she really had to teach that woman to not ask questions. If Midoya hadn't turned out to be so fond of her, June would have fired her by now.

"Yes, something is terribly wrong," June said solemnly. "I will be out of town for that period of time and I do not wish to be disturbed for any reason while I'm gone. If something very urgent comes up, call my Butler or Rose. They'll decide if it is necessary to contact me."

"Yes Ms Kito. Take care."

"Thank you," June said and hung up.

June's life settled, Midoya tucked her phone away and turned to regard the bent, twisted, door. With a series of swift kicks, she managed to kick the window out, and she crawled through, getting glass and splinters into June's expensive suit. Midoya ignored them, a happy, giddy smile still on her face. After all, Kuroro Lucifer, Dancho of the Genei Ryodan and her favourite lover to date, was playing a game with her, and Kuroro knew all the best games. Ooh, this was going to be so much fun! She couldn't wait to see what else he could conjure within the next twenty hours. Of course, it was up to her to match each prank of his with an even better one. Time to put her infamously devious mind to it. But before that…

She barely made it far enough away from the car before Franklin blew it to pieces with his Nen bullets.

"Give that back," Kuroro said to the yellow duck.

"No," the yellow duck replied stubbornly and ran away, taking Kuroro's trousers with him.

"Argh," Kuroro told the increasingly bright skies above him and started to chase after the duck.

Eventually he got his trousers back.

He also got hit in the face with a water balloon.

Damn pranks.

While in theory, 'damage control' and 'screwing up Kuroro even more' were all fine and well, the application of it was probably not going to be that easy. That was surprising because there were essentially only two parts to the plan. Firstly, Midoya needed to keep in contact with all the pranksters she had deployed to Duma. Though she trusted them to carry out her plans, she did not trust them to be able to improvise on their own and out-scheme her genius Kuroro. Hence, she needed to be in contact at all times so she could direct them the way she thought best. Secondly, she needed to avoid the Ryodan as much as possible. If they couldn't find her, they couldn't prank her – it was as simple as that.

Well, the first part was easy. She had her phone with her; it survived an attack by a mummy and Cousin It from the Addams Family (she really had to learn the names of the Ryodan members). They had been armed with superglue and furry pom-poms. She was lucky to get away with her dignity intact, much less her phone as well. Having her phone with her meant communication lines between her and her underlings were always open, so there was no problem there. The second part, however, was going to be a little more troublesome.

After all, how does one outwit, outsmart, and generally out-prank one of the most notorious and infamous S-class criminal organisations in the world?

It was possible to play cheat, Midoya thought, as she slapped makeup onto her face. If she wanted to, she could walk into the York Shin Hunter HQ and hole up there till the end of April Fool's. Not even the Ryodan would risk attacking the Hunter Association just for funsies. At the very least, she was certain Kuroro wouldn't allow his Ryodan to push things that far, not unless they gained something from it, and Midoya doubted 'vengeance against her for hiring drag queen strippers to shoot at him' was considered a 'gain'.

But then, Midoya cheerfully mused as she spread a rust-brown eye-shadow onto her eyelids, where was the fun in hiding in the HQ and having every other high-level Hunter present breathing down her neck? No, she wanted to play with Kuroro, and 'Kill the Princess in the Impenetrable Fortress' had never been her favourite game even when she was a child who didn't know better. Besides, if she was going to hide, the Hunter HQ was surely not the only option in the city. York Shin had so many nooks and crannies only a born-and-bred York Shiner would know of. There was the red-light district, which she was intimately familiar with; the slums; the clubs; even the shopping malls. However, Midoya didn't want to risk being attacked in those places. For one, she certainly didn't want the Ryodan damaging her brothels again. That had been quite the disaster, both for her people and for her reputation, and she suspected she hadn't quite recovered fully from it. No, there were better and more dispensable places to hide out in and one of them was the steam-punk street of York Shin.

Tucked in a side-street that led away from the high-rise mafia-owned buildings and fancy upscale clubs was a tiny market street, perhaps only two or three streets long, selling everything steam-punk related. There were aviator goggles, aviator outfits, pretty accessories that turned metal gears and cogs into ornamental designs, and, of course, pseudo-navigation machinery. All of this would have looked out of place in the modern, boring central areas of York Shin, but within these streets, all the people out and about, mainly younger men and women, strolled around dressed in reimagined, fetishized Industrial Revolution gear.

At the moment, Midoya was hiding in one of these shops, a clothes boutique specifically, in the changing room, altering her appearance to fit in with the crowd. Like all good Hunters, she was very aware that she couldn't always rely on access to a fixed store of supplies, hence Midoya had little emergency stashes all over York Shin that contained money, weapons and a good disguise. Ever since she had started dating Kuroro, she had upped the number of stashes she had; you never know when people will start disagreeing with your choice of lovers and start blowing all your property to pieces after all. This particular stash hidden under a loose wooden board in a changing room in a boutique on Steam-punk Street contained the disguise of a… a… Midoya tilted her head at her completed outfit. "A 1920 woman-aviator meet dominatrix," she decided as she slipped aviator goggles over her eyes.

Pausing only to make sure that her disguise was complete, she stepped out of the changing room and silently glided past the giggling girls in the boutique out into the streets where she blended in perfectly with the throngs of people streaming around. Book in hand (appropriately Jules Verne's Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea), Midoya hummed cheerfully to herself as she set out to find something to do while she waited for the Ryodan to catch up with her. On that note, she had to wonder how long the Spiders will take to find her She knew there were other smart people in the Ryodan, like Shalnark, but she hadn't really pitted her wits against them before and had no idea how well they will do without Kuroro to guide them. Not too badly, she supposed, since all the Spiders had always struck her as rather independent people, but one never knows. Sometimes being in a group made people too dependent on others; sometimes it drove them to even greater heights. It would be interesting to see which kind the Ryodan was.

Well, she would probably find out soon enough.

Out of the corner of her eye, Midoya caught sight of a café sitting down a tiny alley. Keeping with the theme of steam-punk, the café was furnished to look like the inside of an Industrial Revolution era factory, with boilers and steam engines lining the sides of the café. Airplanes from the era of the Wright Brothers hung from the ceiling, and the tables and chairs were hand-made with metal gears. And in a corner (Midoya's eyes lit up) was a shelf of books, all from the steam-punk genre of course. It looked interesting enough that Midoya stopped to peer inside.

"Hello. How may I help you?" a young man asked, stepping out of the shop to greet her with a wide smile on his face.

"Hello." Midoya smiled back with genuine pleasure. He was cute in the way that she liked, with pale skin, delicate features and intelligent eyes. "I'm just taking a look."

"I see," the young man said, his smile widening appealingly in a way that made her want to flirt with him. "Would you like to take a look at the menu?"

"Sure," Midoya replied with a shrug. It wasn't like she had anything else to do until the Ryodan next struck or until her pranksters updated her on Kuroro's status.

"Give me a moment," the young man told her and walked back into the shop. Well, well, well. He looked as good going as he did coming. Not that she knew how he looked coming – yet. It might be fun to find out since Kuroro wasn't around anyway… but no. Even though Kuroro never came out and said it, she knew him well enough to know by now that he was not fond of the idea of her having other lovers. It went against both his possessive nature and that sentimental, poetic side of him that she caught occasional glimpses of. Since their relationship was going well at the moment, Midoya was willing to uphold their commitment to each other, at least until their next major fall out, which probably wasn't due for another couple of years. Or was it a couple of months? Was the Mafia planning another war on Meteor City? She might have heard something like that. Well, she could always choose not to participate. Or she could choose to participate on Meteor City's side. Or she might just fight the Ryodan anyway since it is fun to do so. Ah, who would have guessed that she was a romantic at heart? Dear Kuroro must be rubbing off on her.

And speaking of Kuroro… Midoya casually glanced up and down the street, sending out her senses in search of any Ryodan members. There didn't seem to be any around, but she couldn't be absolutely certain. Though she had met most of the members before, she was only familiar with a few of them. Besides, the range of her senses was limited, so they could be watching her from a distance for all she knew. Furthermore, if they were fast enough, they could move from outside her range to inside within seconds.

"Hey," Feitan said, appearing in front of her, a large crate cradled in his arms.

Wrong. Make that 'milliseconds'.

"Hello, darling," Midoya replied. "How have you been?"

"Good. Now catch." With a casualness that failed to hint entirely at the evil he had planned, he opened the crate and threw ten giant, red-eyed, horrifying rats straight at Midoya.

The subsequent blast of Midoya's Nen destroyed the entire street.

A/N: Sorry for the slightly shorter chapter than normal. Life has gotten a lot busier for me so I don't really have time to write or edit as much as I would like to. I hope the story was still good though. It is an April Fool's fic, yes, but given the eccentric, strange and violent nature of the characters involved, I definitely could not see any kind of exchange of practical jokes that did not feature explosions, torture and a great deal of competition. I hope you found it entertaining and interesting and all that.

Also, you will note there will be no 'trivial' sections in this story. That's because I've reserved everything for a surprise at the end of the story!

Please leave a review if you have time. And, I'll see you in the next chapter!