Disclaimer: I do not own the Vampire Diaries or any of their characters. I simply own this plot.
Damon reached out a hand, his fingers gently brushing against her cheek. It was his fault that she was like this. His fault that if she woke up now, all she would be was pissed. Not like their first night together, where she was all giddy and happy. Not like any of the other nights that he had crashed in her bed despite her, just to spite her, and she would act indignant, pretending she didn't like having him near her. No, this time she would scoff at him and push him away, or worse yet, try to pull him in and try seducing him.
Damon smirked. As if that would ever work, she might have a hold on him normally. But this girl wasn't Elena. Not the Elena that he loved, he didn't want this girl. Didn't love her enough to want her, despite what she was currently claiming.
The girl sure did think a lot of herself sometimes.
Sighing, he laid down beside her, getting as close as possible to her warmth. Now that she was on a steady diet of fresh human blood, as fresh as it came, she had regained most of her normal temperature. The tumbler of bourbon that she had downed before bed helped as well, but Damon refused to think about that right now. Elena drunk was one thing, fun; Elena without emotions drunk was another thing entirely. Between her blunt statements and nonchalant attitude, it was difficult to remember what this girl had once been.
The thought of Georgia crossed Damon's mind, and an idea formed, as well as smirk. Reaching out to touch Elena again, he held her close to him. Just tight enough that he didn't hurt her, but knowing that with his strength even if she woke up, she wouldn't be able to escape for long. Pushing his thoughts out, he entered her dream.
It was the Gilbert house. Elena walked through the kitchen, sighing softly, occasionally reaching out to touch something, but bringing in her hand at the last second. Damon leaned against the far wall, watching her closely.
"I know you're there Damon. You couldn't leave me alone, could you?" She asked without looking at him. Her hands finally resting on the picture taped to the refrigerator. It was a picture of her, Jenna, and Jeremy. One that was taken during a much happier time period.
"You know, I could let you see them here. Almost anything is possible," his eyebrow raised slightly at the suggestion. Wondering if that was what she needed to finally get some closure.
"Right, because I totally want your watered down versions of the people I love. Just line them up Damon, all the people who died because of me," turning towards him, she smirked softly. Raising a hand, then ticking off fingers as she recounted names. "Mom and Dad, who died because I wanted to go to a stupid party rather than stay for family night. Jenna, because Klaus needed a vampire for the sacrifice that I was a key part of. Jon, saving my life from that same sacrifice. Alaric, your best friend, because Doppelganger blood is a powerful spell tool. Because a witch wanted to end all vampirc life, and have a fool proof Hunter who died when I died. Jeremy, for this stupid cure that I only want to convince you that I really loved you, or because everyone else wanted to cure me. Did I remember everyone?"
She cocked her head toward the side. Those fingers burning into his soul, along with the list of names they accompanied. Damon let his gaze drop from Elena's form. Taking a deep breath, he steadied himself.
"Elena, doing this to yourself isn't going to help you stay numb," He said softly, taking a step towards her.
"No, doing this, looking at this house full of their memories will only cause me pain. But hey, at least I will be feeling again. Isn't that what you want?" She chuckled darkly. "Sorry, I forgot. What you want doesn't matter anymore. Thanks to losing my emotions, we also lost the sad effects of the sire bond. But you wanted that as well. You wanted to know that I wanted you despite the sire bond. Too bad now you will still feel guilty for wanting me."
Damon walked towards Elena slowly, placing his hands on her shoulders. He looked her deeply in the eyes.
"Right now, what I want doesn't matter. You're right, I still want you. But all you want is to not feel the pain of their loss. Elena, this isn't the way to deal with that grief."
"THEN WHY WOULD YOU HAVE ME SHUT IT OFF IN THE FIRST PLACE?" Elena exploded, pushing Damon harshly against the wall. The old house groaned with the effort of staying upright, even in the dream. "If keeping that grief away wasn't the point, why shut me off?"
Damon gripped Elena's wrists, yanking her hands away from his neck as gently as he could. "I did it because you needed a relief. I told you to shut it off, at the time that was all I could think to do to keep you from feeling pain. Because I hate whenever you hurt. Whenever I can't protect you from everything that goes bump in the night I feel like I fail you. I couldn't do that again, couldn't put you through the heart break all over again. But it is time to face everything, for both of us. I was selfish to keep you from being able to mourn like you should have, I didn't want to fail you. But in the end I did anyways, I always do, and maybe one day you will forgive me for that."
A/N This is my first fic, and I am unsure that I have really captured their characters, so please feel free to give me feedback. I am thinking of making this multi-chapter if I get enough people interested, but if not then it may just stay a one-shot.