Very depressing one but hopefully someone will bear with me! Sasha attacked Harry not Ruth in this universe.

Ruth looked at the clock, sitting in the Home Office. She couldn't concentrate on anything any more. She seemed to be forever clock watching, waiting for something to happen. For someone to tell her that the last six weeks had been a bad dream. The clock hit five p.m. and she could reasonably go home now, to what she had no idea. There would be no one waiting for her. No Harry to call, not any more. The last image she had of him was his eyes closing as his heart stopped, and every minute of the day, she relived that moment. The moment he'd been completely torn from her permanently, after they got so close to being together properly. Her hand had been on his pulse as his heart stopped beating and she had completely lost her sanity as it became clear that he was no longer alive.

Dimitri had lifted her away from Harry, throughout her cries and protestations while Callum and Erin worked on trying to resuscitate him. Needless to say it hadn't worked and she had been hysterical as he had been airlifted to the hospital. Ruth had been pacing the waiting room waiting for any news on Harry. Anything at all as Erin watched her anxiously. It had only taken about half an hour before a doctor had come to see them and she had known from the look on his face that it was bad news.

"Say it," Ruth had asked as Erin looked on, knowing what was about to happen.

"I'm sorry," the doctor had said. "He died on arrival to the hospital. I'm so sorry."

Ruth couldn't believe it. She was never emotional to anyone. She never showed her feelings but when the doctor said that she had literally crumpled to the floor in tears, unable to comprehend a world without Harry. Those few days between his death and the funeral were a complete blur to her. She didn't remember much and she'd been completely strung out on emotion and devastation. She didn't like to think of the funeral either. That had been one of the worst days of her life, including when she had left after the Cotterdam fiasco. And she hadn't liked that everyone seemed to be throwing her meaningful yet sad glances throughout the service.

Back in the present, Ruth shook her head trying to clear images of Harry's coffin being lowered into the earth, on a ridiculously beautiful sunny day. She walked into Towers office and knocked on the door twice before he told her she could come in. Another thing she missed. Being able to barge in without knocking, knowing deep down that Harry would be happy to see her regardless of the depressing information she carried.

"I want to speak to you," Ruth said in the normal low and depressive voice she used nowadays. Lacking emotion, because she felt so empty.

"Yes Ruth, what is it?"

"I quit," she said imply. "I can't do this job and I don't want to any more."

"You've only been here a couple of months," Towers said bewildered.

"Yes, and I keep remembering what has happened in that time and I… I just can't do it. I'm leaving."

"Take some time," Towers advised. "I know that Harry's death is a shock to you…"

"I could take all the time I have left in my life and it wouldn't make any difference," she said honestly. "I need to let go of this world. I'm leaving Towers. You won't stop me. And please don't talk about him," she added. Hearing his name sent a shock of pain through her system.

"Take a week," Towers replied. "You don't have to come in to work, just take a week to think about it."

"Fine," she said indifferently. She knew it wouldn't change anything at all. Not her feelings and certainly not her grief which felt like it was completely drowning her almost all of the time. She left Towers office and picked up her coat. She quickly left the Home Office, not wanting to stay there and went home. The entire time her mind was focused on Harry. She felt unable to believe that he was really gone. His eyes would never sparkle at her again. Swallowing, she got in her car and prepared to get locked in rush hour traffic but she didn't care. It wasn't like she had anything better to do with her time.

There will be more but what do you think so far? Any opinions?