Fever Dreams
Disclaimer: Sadly I own neither Saving Hope nor Daniel Gillies.
Rating: T
Pairing: Joel & Alex (or if you prefer Alex & Joel)
Summary: A Jalex twist on episode 01x11: "The Law of Contagion." Some snippets of dialogue are taken from the actual episode.
Alex Reid walked into the empty OR and spotted Joel Goran fiddling absently with a blown up surgical glove.
"Hey. You paged me?" Alex said breathlessly. "What do you need? I'm busy."
Joel met Alex's eyes, "I don't know. I was paged here too. Everything's on hold.
Seconds later Victor walked into the room, flanked by Brian and the official from the WHO.
"Doctor Pratt is showing symptoms. High fever. Respiratory distress. Coughing. And a new wrinkle. Seizures."
After a moment Alex started to put the pieces together, "The intubation was a difficult airway…"
But it was Joel who finished the thought for her, "And we were the other three people in the room."
"Precisely. You're all under quarantine." The WHO man said, with a hint of glee in his voice
Is it just me? Or does he seem to be enjoying this way too much?
Victor paced anxiously around the OR muttering while Alex checked Joel's temperature. "Fever…check…sore throat…check…other nonspecific symptoms check…"
"You have non-specific symptoms?" Joel asked Victor skeptically, as Alex finished reading the thermometer, and sighed with relief, "You're normal. Do me."
Joel couldn't help but give her one of his trademark grins.
All you have to do is ask Reid.
"What if this is it? What if we're about to die?" Victor said, slowly slipping into full panic mode.
"We're not, "Alex reassured him, trying to remain calm.
"We could," Joel said, glancing at the thermometer.
"Shut up. Nobody is gonna die okay? Just because we were in the same room, it doesn't mean we're gonna get the infection." Alex continued.
The thermometer beeped and Alex looked at Joel for confirmation, "It's normal right?"
"I can't die right now, okay. You don't want to know the last thing I said to Shahir. "Yeah, you're probably right about that," Joel said, double checking the reading on the thermometer.
"Victor you need to stop." Alex said, "You don't even have any symptoms, okay."
"He doesn't but you do, Alex," Joel said slowly, "99.7. You have a fever."
Alex sank to the floor leaning her back against a gurney as the full weight of Joel's words hit home.
Victor rambled on nervously, "It took that plane guy less than twenty-four hours to die…"
Meanwhile Joel was on the phone with Reycraft, "Alex is showing symptoms. She's diaphoretic…"
"What's her temp?" Reycraft asked.
"Just under a hundred," Joel replied, softly, "Look I'm not worried about her yet, you know? If she spikes over 103, we need to get her up to ICU."
"So what about you and Victor?" Reycraft asked, "Any symptoms?"
Joel shook his head, "No nothing yet. We're good."
"Good. Keep it that way, all right?" Reycraft said before hanging up the phone.
"I need to talk to Shahir…I need to see him…We had a big fight…"
"You will talk to him." Alex said, as she tried not to focus on how uncomfortably warm the OR had become. "Or I can call him for you…"
Her words were suddenly lost in a fit of coughing. Alex got up slowly, looking from Joel to Victor and back again.
"Everything's going to be fine right? Alex whispered, meeting Joel's eyes.
"Yeah. It is." He whispered, softly placing his hand on her shoulder.
Alex shook her head, "No Joel…You can't touch me. The virus…"
I don't care.
It took everything he had for Joel to take a step away from Alex.
All he really wanted to do was wrap her in his arms and take away her pain.
Alex's phone rang. She answered and listened intently for a moment before looking back at Joel. "Doctor Wilson just died. And Doctor Pratt is critical…"
Suddenly Alex began coughing and couldn't catch her breath.
Joel grabbed the phone and spoke to Malanda. "Alex is coughing. You need to send a team down. Victor and I are okay."
"I will, " Malanda replied, "Don't go near her."
Screw that.
It's Alex.
Joel thought as he hung up the phone and grabbed a mask, wrapping an arm around Alex as she coughed uncontrollably.
"Joel…I can't …" She gasped, even as Joel readied the oxygen mask to go over her nose and mouth. "I can't…"
"I know, Alex. Just give me a second." Joel replied as he held her head in place feeling the softness of her dark hair against the palm of his hand.
"Take it easy, Alex. Just breathe, love. I've got you. Just breathe."
I love you.
I need you.
I'm sorry I ran away from you.
Come back to me.
I'll be yours forever, I promise.
Suddenly Victor's voice broke through Joel thoughts, "Joel, what are you doing? Malanda said not to go near her."
Joel looked at Victor and replied simply, "It's Alex."
Joel held Alex against him, watching her struggle for every breath.
"Just hang in there for me, Alex." Joel said, as he brushed her sweat-soaked hair from her forehead and checked her temperature.
101.3. It's going up.
Alex tried to nod, and seconds later Joel could do nothing but watch as she slipped into unconsciousness.
"Alex!" Joel screamed as he immediately started compressions on her chest.
Alex knew she was dreaming, and she gave herself over to it.
She stood in the empty OR arguing with Joel.
"It's your pattern. You take something really beautiful and you screw it up."
"It's not like Maggie and I are married or anything. Or even in a serious relationship." Joel protested.
Alex raised her hands in exasperation. "Are you kidding me? Excuses…Are you listening to yourself? You can't commit to anything. Or anyone."
"Including you," Joel said finishing the thought for her.
"Yes including me." Alex agreed. We were living together and that still wasn't enough for you to make an actual commitment…"
"Hey…hey…hey…You were the one that walked out on me… "
"Because you cheated on me," Alex yelled back, her voice rising in anger, and her eyes welling with tears, "You wanted out, and you didn't have the guts. So I walked."
"Great. So you dodged a bullet." Joel replied, crossing his arms angrily in front of him.
"No I didn't Joel. You broke my heart." Alex replied, her voice dropping to merely a whisper.
His expression softened even as she went on.
I'm sorry Alex. I didn't mean to hurt you.
"Anytime that something gets serious with you, you run away…"
Joel cocked her head, listening intently to the litany of criticism that she laid at his feet.
"You live your life in fear…You think that you're this…this big fearless cowboy. But, the truth is that you will never take a risk…ever."
This is me taking a risk.
Suddenly, he cut off the stream of her words with a long passionate kiss.
He expected her to pull away but to his surprise, she kissed him back.
Then the dreamscape shifted and the next thing Alex knew she was waking up in a soft bed.
As the veil between sleep and waking fell away Alex heard three childlike voices whispering.
Two sons and a daughter.
"Hurry up, Daddy….Mommy's breakfast is going to get cold."
"Alright guys, hold on to the juice. Don't spill on the carpet..."
And then she heard the unmistakable New Zealand accent that she would recognize anywhere.
Joel.
Seconds later she felt the weight shift in the bed as he leaned toward kissing her into consciousness.
"Good morning Doctor Reid." He whispered, his warm breath falling against her neck.
"Hmmmm…" Alex mumbled as the last remnants of sleep fell away. "Good morning Doctor Goran, "
She replied, kissing him back, and reaching out her left hand to caress the light layer of stubble on his cheek, the diamond of her wedding ring sparkling in the morning sunlight.
"Mommy we made you breakfast in bed!" Her daughter shouted excitedly.
Charlotte.
Her daughter's name came to mind unbidden.
She didn't know how she knew.
She just knew.
Alex pushed back against the pillow, sitting up and smiling looking out at her three beautiful children over the layers of covers.
"You did? Thank you, sweet pickle. What did you make?"
"Pancakes." The oldest boy replied.
She looked at the beautiful little boy who had her eyes and Joel dark hair.
Luke.
"Mmmmm. Pancakes are my favorite, little man. How did you know?"
Before her son could reply, a pair of tiny chubby hands reached out toward her pulling gently at her hair.
It was at that moment that she noticed her youngest infant son in Joel's arms.
Theo.
The baby reached out towards her again and she felt him tug at her hair.
She looked at Joel and smiled as he called out her name. "Alex…Alex…Alex." She heard his voice repeating her name over and over again. His voice grew more and more insistent each time.
"Alex!"
She opened her eyes to find Joel staring down at her with an anxious expression, "You scared me." He whispered, his hand brushing against the side of her face, feeling cool against her hot feverish skin.
"Joel…" His name came out as a gasp on her lips. "I need to tell you something. I can't die without letting you know…"
At this Joel shook his head emphatically pulling the oxygen mask away from her mouth so he could kiss her.
"You are not going to die. Do you hear me, Alex Reid?"
"I'm sorry, Joel. I didn't want to leave you. You just broke my heart…"
He could tell she wanted to go on but she was struggling to catch her breath.
"No…no…Alex…hey…You don't have to apologize. I know. And I'm so sorry that I hurt you. But if you give me another chance…"
Alex nodded, and whispered breathlessly, "Yes. It's always been you, Joel. It will always be you."
I love you.
I need you.
At this, Joel smiled, "Okay." He replied, taking her hand just as the team burst through the doors of the quarantined OR with a gurney to push Alex up to ICU.
"The threat is contained you're free to go. But let's get Doctor Reid up to ICU until her fever breaks.
Alex looked at Joel, her eyes dancing in back and forth in panic. "If you want…you can go…You should go…"
Joel shook his head, "Not a chance, Reid. I just got you back. I'm not going to leave you."
Not now.
Not ever again.
Alex drifted back into unconsciousness with a smile on her lips. "Promise?"
"Yes, ma'am." Joel replied, kissing her forehead and then grabbing hold of the rail of the gurney as it moved through the hallways of the hospital.
The next time Alex woke, she was in a hospital bed. She had no idea how long she'd been unconscious but the room she now occupied at Hope Zion was bathed in the grey, semi-darkness of a place that never really sleeps.
She opened her eyes just a little bit to see Joel dozing in the chair beside her bed.
"Joel?" She whispered, her throat was sore, and her voice raspy from lack of use.
At the sound of his name on her lips, Joel raised his head. "Hey, Alex," he said softly, "How're you feeling?"
Alex shrugged her shoulders and tried to sit up, "I'm okay. Still hot."
He gave her one of his trademark Joel Goran grins and nodded, "Yes you are, Reid. You're incredibly hot."
He said, placing the back of his hand against her forehead, taking her temperature.
Alex smiled, "That was so not what I meant.
Joel nodded, "I know. But I made you smile. And your fever is breaking."
This time, it was Alex who smiled, "Joel, I need to tell you something."
"Okay, love. You can tell me anything."
"When I was exposed to the virus…"
"Alex, don't worry. The hospital got the all clear. Once your fever breaks…"
"No…Joel…I know…That's not what I want to talk about…"
"Okay, sorry. Go ahead." Joel said, smiling at her again.
"When I was unconscious. I had a dream…"
"About what?" Joel asked, reaching once again for her hand.
"The fight that we had in the OR. When you kissed me."
Joel smiled, "Yeah. I remember that."
It was Alex's turn to smile, "So do I. But there's more…We were married. We had kids."
Kids? Plural?
"Oh yeah? How many kids did we have in this dream world of yours Reid?
"Three." Alex replied, still smiling, "Two boys and a little girl."
I'd have a million kids with you, Reid.
"I like the sound of that." Joel said, leaning over the side of the bed to kiss her lips.
"Me too." Alex replied, pulling him close and not letting go. "Will you marry me, Doctor Goran?"
Joel chuckled, "That's my line. But yes, Doctor Reid. I will."