Disclaimers: Characters are Squaresoft's, Lyrics are Basement Jaxx's 'Red Alert'
RED ALERT
Zell is supposed to be minding the Chocobo herd, but he's fallen asleep.
Seifer walks onto the scene followed by Fujin and Raijin. He's carrying a cd player which is playing Basement Jaxx's Red Alert very loudly.
The Chocobos scatter madly in every direction.
Squall: Round em up, round em up
Rinoa: It's a catastrope
Seifer, and Raijin: Don't worry
Fujin: DON'T PANIC
Ultemicia: Ain't nothin goin on but history
Selphie: It's alright
Irvine: Don't panic
Squall and Rinoa shout at Seifer to turn the music down, but he can't hear them
Seifer: And the music keeps on playing on and on
Fujin: MUSIC. PLAYING. ON.
The chocobos have spread out across the plain and Zell is still asleep
Rinoa: Round em up, round em up
Squall: It's a catastrope
Irvine: Don't worry
Selphie: Don't Panic!
Ultemicia: Ain't nothin goin on but history
Fujin: OK
Seifer and Raijin: Don't panic
Squall and Rinoa are still shouting for the music to be turned down, but now Selphie and Irvine have started dancing to it. Zell is still asleep
Selphie: And on and on!
Seifer: And the music keeps on playing on and on
Irvine: And on and on
Raijin: And on and on
Fujin: MUSIC. PLAYING. ON.
Irvine is admiring Selphie's dancing
Irvine: The way you shake shake shake shake. Baby!
Zell has finally woken up.
Zell: Say what!
Squall and Rinoa start to shout at him for letting the chocobos runaway, but the music is now so loud that Zell can't hear them. They can't even hear themselves.
Selphie: And on and on
Irvine: And on and on
Seifer: And the music keeps on playing on and on
Raijin: And the music keeps on playing on and on
Fujin: MUSIC. PLAYING. ON.
Squall and Rinoa give in and begin to dance like the others
Squall, and Rinoa: And the music keeps on playing on and on etc.
AN: The chocobos never did get rounded up but lived full and happy lives in the wild. No character's hearing was seriously damaged in this fic.