A/N I have no idea how I thought of this, but I did. Hope you think it's funny!
Disclaimer: Do not own. Do you understand? I own nothing. Zip, nada, none, nothing, zero...
Albus Dumbledore sat in his chair in front of his desk as he listed to the rest of the staff rattle on about boring schedules.
First, he tried sucking on one of his lemon sherbets to spice things up a bit. Or, in this case, sherbet. Only, that didn't work. He tried reading a book, but disapproving glares from Severus and Minerva made him put the book down. And he was just up to a good bit. His favourite, in fact. You know, the bit when Edward starts attacking the men who try to attack Bella?.
He ad even tried spying on his staffs thoughts, but that was put to an end very quickly when he was threatened to be castrated by Severus when he tried to break down his spy's walls.
Albus sighed and started digging through the things amongst his paperwork on his desk. He looked at the magazine that he had just picked up curiously. It was a furniture magazine, and on the front page was office chairs. The spinny kind. Albus had an idea.
Albus sat in his usual spot in front of his desk. But two things were different. He was grinning at the staff meeting, and his chair looked a little bit funny. Minerva was the first to notice this.
"Albus, what on earth has happened to your chair?"
"Nothing, my dear Minerva. Nothing at all." Albus wheeled his chair in front of his desk. Then, with a huge grin that was visible even through his enormously long and white beard, he started spinning slowly. Faster and faster he span and his staff became a mere blur. Albus started feeling dizzy.
He kept spinning and spinning and spinning till he fell of his new chair with a thud. Albus groaned, then convulsed as something he would rather not mention started its trek towards his front opening.
The teachers of Hogwarts quickly ran from the headmaster's mouth as he vomited.
They all ran away, frightened and disgusted. As they left, they heard the man say, "Never again will I order muggle furniture..." Then, the sound of vomiting.